Yes, pretty much. The major difference between your thinking and my actions is just the degree of correlation IMO.

From your view, a guy might go to school because he wants a good job, wants a good job so he can make good money, wants good money so that he can have a nice house, car, clothes etc., and part of the reason he wants all of that is for a marker of status that will make him more attractive to the opposite sex.

Me? I went to University and got a degree because of college chicks. I might go back just for that again (and get a law degree in the process).

If this is tongue in cheek, i agree...but spending a ton of money for the sole purpose of being at a university that many attractive women attend is a little silly. You could just as easily have been a bartender at a bar near that university, lived near the university, and avoided paying the tuition if your only goal was to be around the girls

What is your guys general definition of 'chemistry'?

making out

LOL, yes it was slightly. But it certainly influenced my decision. Also, getting a business degree in the process certainly wasn't going to hurt me any. But believe me, I definitely looked at lists of hottest schools, party schools, etc. before deciding where I was going.

I hate texting. I do it only when absolutely necessary. But whenever I meet a new girl she starts texting me random ****, how her job sucks, asking if I'm watching the soccer games, whatever. Usually I just ignore them, but I'm worried I come off as an *******. Just keep ignoring, and explain it if she ever brings it up in person? Any better way to go about it? Any variation on a text like "hey save your texts for your girlfriends, give me a call if you wanna talk" seems weird and douchey.

hey save your texts for your girlfriends, give me a call if you wanna bang


seriously.



Im probably going to use that on the next couple girls who text me today.

Replay Protestant IMO. As an aside.. I'm never consider "give me a call to talk". I prefer texts a ton as well since they're much more flexible and no one has voice mail in Europe. I have conversations in person. I use my phone to exchange information to make that happen. Or as a substitute in a pinch.

Ha yeah the 'if you wanna talk' part was kinda lame. I'll start using this too.

Group text: Party at my house tonight. 9ish.

Total time that took to invite people over: 30 seconds.

This is just one of the many reasons I like texting.

And I dun think not to gud when im talkin to gulr in the real lifes. I can theenk wat im gun say bafore hand.

This is projection. It may be true for some guys, but by no means is it true for all guys. Why do I play Tetris? Why am I nice to a random homeless dude when no one's watching? Why do I practice esoteric skills that no girl finds impressive? I could list the vast majority of day to day activities, including the ones that appear directly related to the desire for sex, and they would not be motivated by the desire for sex.

This is just my pet peeve - thinking or being one way and assuming everyone else thinks or is the same.

I hate the "why won't this girl call me back" questions as much as anyone, but I have one:

I met a girl last Thursday at a bar, we hit it off, I had to leave early to get some work done, so we made plans to meet last Sunday. I call her early on Sunday to confirm, she doesn't pick up, so I leave a message. She returns my call 10 minutes later, is enthused about drinks that night, and we make plans.

We end up meeting for drinks, it goes well, and I invite her back to my apartment. She instantly accepts. We kiss and get touchy but she's pretty adamant in a playful way that we can't go further. She lets me undress her briefly, but that's it. She strikes me as shy, and is reasonably religious so while I playfully try to do more, we stay pretty PG-13 (again, she would admonish me for trying but in the flirtiest of ways). She specifically mentions that we can't have sex "yet".

At 3am or so, I walk her back to her car, stopping to make out every block or so. She gives me a ride back. I say I had fun, she says the same, and we make plans to meet up late on Thursday (yesterday), because I have prior social engagements and she works nights on the other nights of the week (true). I call her on Weds to set up something specific and leave a message, she has not returned my call.

Possible reasons this went wrong imo:

1) I am dating/sleeping with a few other people and was out in public with two of them (separately) earlier in the week, it's not impossible she saw this and was turned off, though it's unlikely.
2) She was just humoring me before (unlikely)
3) Once she was away from the situation she reacted negatively to my moving so fast
4) Something else

Normally I would just leave this situation alone, but her non-call was so inconsistent with how she was acting last week that I'd like to give her another chance. I think 3) might be the reason, but I don't want to damage-control that if I do get in contact with her without knowing it's the issue. Suggestions?

Somewhat interesting study here although a fairly obvious conclusion:
Goes along with Henry's theory of male insecurity in relationships.

Examples they give for benefit-provisioning are complimenting her appearance and buying expensive gifts; for cost-inflicting they say stuff like monopolizing her time or insulting her in front of others.

Seems like the 'benefit-provisioning' could serve two purposes for guys, so I'd be curious to know which is more common... 1) To show commitment to an insecure girl who thinks you're better than her or won't commit to her. 2) Show you're able to make her happy, whether complimenting her, showing her a fun time, buying nice ****, whatever.

Alright this is a little weird, maybe you guys can help translate what this means.

I'll try to keep this brief:

Eh, This whole thing seems really weird without a lot of details. Even then...

Anyway last night I had a small get together. This girl (really hot) really wanted to paint. So she painted me. I told her to please not paint me, but she did anyway.

Thoughts?

I am going to bed soon but can post pics later of the painting that is now hanging on my wall.

Sounds like she wanted to paint?

Mittens my guess is it is because you made out on the first date. I've gotten tons of resistance whenever this occurs depending on the girl and what she is looking for. To the girl it just comes off as you want sex. IMO leave the back to apt make out sessions for the second date, unless you get the vibe the girl is easy, lol.

Picked up some Anthony Logistics Hair Gel at Henry's suggestion from a previous edition of this thread.

I like it a lot - has good hold while keeping my hair soft and moist - not rock-hard and brittle like other hair gels.

My only concern is it's $15 for 4 oz. and it seems like I am going to go through that pretty fast. Maybe try getting my hair wetter before applying?

Do you want to date someone who is signaling that she wants something serious?

This is heinously bad. Time spent together is a better determinant than arbitrary "dates".

Pumping buying temp on girls who're ******ed (fundamentalist Christians, frigid wimmenz, etc) will result in buyer's remorse (to use lots of PUA lingo, which I think is fairly efficient in this case). But this somewhat begs the questions of whether you'd want to have an optimal approach as a heuristic unless you were socially perceptive enough to pick up on this very quickly... which would then be a wtf are you doing talking to a prude?

Sorry that I assumed the first date didn't last for 8 hours? What is your point here?

Thremp care to give advice on the question he posed?

she never signaled that to me, but she may...

I don't understand the second paragraph, but it seems useful. Any way to put it simpler?

Wait... what? I may need some remedial Dating/Relationship General Advice here. I'm all for waiting for the right moment to ask a girl back to your place, but is there really a reason to wait if she will come back?

I mean I've pretty much tried to drive a steady path of constantly escalating physical contact (light touching -> kissing -> foreplay -> sex) in every romantic interaction I have with a woman. I'm fine with stopping on one step if she seems reluctant to go further, but should I really be self-restraining here?

It has just never crossed my mind not to try to get as physical as possible with a girl who is willing (and I like obviously).

------

I forgot to mention that she did say something about some "guy situation" when we were at my place. I told her at the time that she could explain if she wanted but I didn't care and the subject got dropped. Maybe she has a recent ex boyfriend or something, I dunno.

Anyways, is it worth calling her again? If so, what should I say?

Pumping buying temp is just more PUA-esque lingo for escalation. Physical/mental works best in combination. Get her to think happy thoughts, touch her, etc. Its essentially what you claim to do on every date. (Claim being I don't watch you on dates.) Buyer's remorse would be that she feels bad about something that happened: moving too quickly, your frame is too strong, you're too "smooth", whatever. For chicks who're somewhat nutso (Christians, frigid women, etc)... who cares? Do you really want to refine your game to this subset or modify your "standard" approach when you can't get a better read on the situation?

My best advice would be to quickly recognize chicks who don't poke and stop talking to them if you want to poke.

I'd take Mandor's advice with a grain of salt. I think he has predilections that differ from the "standard" EDFer. Your approach is ******edly standard. (Which is an approach that is super underrated. Doing the same things repetitively should be a mainstay of your game.)

You handled the guy situation identically to how I typically handle it (and just did within the last couple weeks). I want to communicate that I: 1) Care about them 2) Don't care about the past 2a) Along with not caring about the past, not that I don't want to be a part of their lives, but that I'm not judging them for whatever. "You can talk about it if you want, but I'd rather talk about us." "Meh. The best way to get over an old love is to find a new love." "...Did I tell you about my last trip to Guam?" "I have to pee."

There probably should be some element of push/pull (Expressing displeasure over their unsavory behavior). But that is pretty contextual.

Obv to assuage your conscience. She might have just gotten back together with her ex (Did I mention this in a prior list of things girls do and why they stop talking?)

You shouldn't go though it that fast. It is hard to say how long a bottle lasts me since i take an abnormal number of showers but my guess is that you are likely using too much. If you have short hair you should be using about a quarter sized amount. It is suppose to be applied to hair that is a little wet. One of those spray bottles that you use to mist plants works well as you just need a little moisture.

thanks, v helpful

wow, this. I'm the same way and I hate it