oh, and her sis and sis's bf found me on fb and added me.

I mean....what are u wanting to say at some point?

DcifrThs,

the 'cons' are mostly over-analyzing imo. Sounds like she is just a bit shy and feels more comfortable after a few drinks.

JW, sounds like you are about to screw things up big time.

yea yea.

obviously i tried that. the exact convo (slightly drunk at this point) went:

her: thank you so much for dinner, it was really good. very impressive. i wanna cook for you but i really only cook pasta-type stuff and guido food [never heard that expression before lol]
me: lol@ guido food. that sounds good though. my kitchen is your kitchen and i can either help or stay out of your way.
her: well let's do it at my place. this is a good time too b/c my parents won't be home until late.

so, uh, yea lol

i thought about pushing it further but i ended up smiling, saying ok, and then she kissed me again in front of her sister.

i gotta say, even drunk, i was a little weirded out by this. my brother and i are best friends. i've brought girls to meet him and vice versa and never has either one of us like made out w/ the girl in front of the other on the first meeting (or really even ever in general). we used to have a 4some where his gf was a concert trained violinist, my gf was a college level musician (piano), and he is a composer (he just did the music for the new kobe/labron etc. sprite campaign). so we'd all hang out and ofc we'd be affectionate w/ our gfs but i can probably count on 1 hand the number of times he passionately kissed her make-out like in front of me and my ex. and vice versa. and this is over like 1.5 YEARS. and me and my bro lived together.

but obv this is my judgement. it just felt weird kissing like that in front of her sister/sister's bf and other friend. i wasn't complaining mind you lol

soooooooo, uh, ... what's up? what be goin on here?

also--> eld & jwhitt, LOL @ 'on the reg' ... thuggish ruggish **** goin' down

dcifr sounds like you want things to progress with that girl more quickly than she is willing to progress them? Just gauging from what you're saying. You could just say I want to start dating you blablabla.

that's kinda what i meant by "say something" ... i just meant "have a conversation about what/whre we are" but i think it's still too early to bring that up. she's shown quite a bit of interest. i mean i doubt she'd introduce me to her family and say the things she does to me (though mostly when after having had a few drinks), and make plans a few weeks out into the future if she didn't see something here.

so im just gunna let this progress.

eur,

I think this question of yours got lost in the JWhitting. "Lets say some girl is actively trying to date you, but you are currently seeing someone else. Just serious enough that you are not comfortable hooking up with anyone else. So, not interested at the moment but possibly in the (near) future. I know this is probably obvious, but how do you communicate that? I do not feel like telling her straight up is appropriate."

How near term? I've been in this situation twice. Once I knew I was making some decisions regarding my relationship at the time in a very short timeframe (within a week or two), so I just made some excuses to postpone things for a short time. The other time, I wasn't sure where my relationship was going, and I said something like "hey I think you're awesome and wish timing was better, but I'm not sure what's going on w/ my relationship right now and I need to figure that out first before seeing anyone else."

@El D
Quite close to your second case, so could be a matter of weeks if things do not work out. But already resolved anyway, although i am still interested what the best thing to do is here.

Girl (made out with her a few months ago and randomly met her at a concert this week) kind of pushed for a date today. I said something along the lines of "To be honest, i would prefer to do xyz at some later time. My relationship status is kind of undefined right now."

Guess thats quite similar to your response, just a bit less info.

Dcifr,

Remind me again, please, have you ever gone out with a Miss New Jersey contestant?

skunk, i ALWAYS seem to date seriously "situation A group B"

every time

without fail.

i ONLY bang (do not date) "situation A or B(with alcohol) group A" girls.

like hard line 100% dichotomous. Let's assume these are the only two combinations (Combination 1 - the first one - and Combination 2 - the second one)

let X be the % of a distribution of a male 25-35 that is Combination 1 and 1-X=Combination 2.

what would you say is the mean for X for a male in that age range living in a big city?

there is not an available smiley to convey my response. so i'll go with:

Dcifr,

What?

Just wanted to say this page (100ppp) has been a quality bookend on the JWhitt chapter of this thread. I've both learned a lot and taken a degree of comfort in knowing there are those with bigger issues than me (I wish him luck).

My last night with the autistic girl involved receiving a call from her while cabbing it home after leaving the pub early; I had explicitly informed her multiple times before leaving I wanted to, but she wanted to stay. As I get my wristband (lol) removed, she suddenly steps back inside. I'm thinking, whatever go have fun. She had called me to say she had 'lost all her money' and therefore was stuck there. I told her I'd pick her up at 2 after we had a brief exchange with her implying I should turn the cab around halfway home (~20min one way), then hung up on her.

I arrived home and went to bed, not getting back up. I saw her at work the next day, a relief knowing I wouldn't need to worry about being a prime suspect if she never made it home.
-----
Hot girls, autistic or not are ultimately people too. If I can't be honest with myself and my objectives, abilities and limitations (as El D touched on earlier) then I can't date the way dating is supposed to function. I've sought out professional help- as a depressed, intelligent and self-aware guy I'm going to try and battle towards a better life that involves fulfilling interactions with women.

It's really, really, really, really, really hard to eyeball something like this. The dating pool is so heavily skewed toward flighty, serial-dating, casual-sex-having, NSA people who persist in the pool, whereas the conservative monogamists are constantly getting snapped up by relationships.

Let's say that it's 50/50. My belief is that it's closer to 20/60/20, where 60 is the people who can swing either way.

My answer would be different if you said 18-30, btw.

Hate to break up the JWhitt show, but gotta pop in with what might be an interesting question:

Is it weird to be with a girl > 1 year and never have said "I love you" to her? I kinda know the answer is yes, right? I just never say it, don't think I have in over ten years, to anyone. And it's not that these girls aren't good enough. I'm starting to think I just don't believe in "love".

Thoughts? Seek psychiatric help?

CQ,

Has this girl said it to you?

She has, yes. She would probably like me to say it, but she knows I'm "not into that ****". My basic question is, is it really that important to say? It just feels weird to me. Of course I care about her and we get along fine. I just don't think I'm ever going to find that "perfect person" that I go crazy for.

I often feel like that potential is there when I'm first going out with a girl, but a few months in it kind of settles into the same old thing. Bah, that makes it sound awful but I don't mean that in a bad way.

CQ,

I feel like that a lot of the time and it doesn't really bother me much.

You're not in love with her no reason to lie.

http://www.missnewjersey.net/2009.html

It's a good chuckle for anyone not from the US and used to beautiful women.

Right, and I don't. The question isn't really whether I should lie or not, but more like does it make me weird if I can basically never see myself being "in love" with anyone... ever?

I don't actually think it's that weird. I've been in love and can see it happening again, but if you don't feel it then you don't feel it. In regards to your girl though, I think you should be open about that. She may need that in a relationship, and it's selfish on your part if you make her hang on knowing very well you will never feel that way. OTOH, if you are up front with her about how you feel and she still sticks around, then the burden is on her, as she is an adult and responsible for her own happiness as well.

c'mon eld. that wasn't a typical dcifr craziness thing. it was a simple thought exercise. the point is, as skunk outlined, sample bias dictates that the pool, which has a disproportional # of single/banging early chics, is nowhere CLOSE to the level of one-sidedness as jwhitt is purporting.

the problem is that his sampling methodology (bars) is going to obviously be skewed rather than the ACTUAL POPULATION being skewed. meet girls on the street or anywhere and you'll get a more representative sampling than just bars.

LOL yea, jersey ain't the best for hot chicks. i was looking for a pic of her a long time ago when i first brought this up but i can't find miss new jersey contestants from 2003. they show the winner but none of the other contestants.

thankfully she wasn't one of the busted ones...but she wasn't the hottest girl on the planet either by far.