_UM: some guys tend to way overanalyze ****. it's best (but can be very hard) to take a back seat and just let things fall as they may. i'm very guilty of the same thing (you can see that from my reaction to the girl i picked up skiing story). if she likes you it'll work out, if not, it won't. easier said than done of course.

UpdateBrag: girl i picked up skiing and i had A+ date last night. she's already posting pictures of us on her fb page and invited me to her best friend's party in 3 weeks. i'm making her dinner this coming friday and basically she's awesome. i'm still in the mentality of 'taking this slowly' and not getting ahead of myself but i can note a few big differences between her and the last girl which is great. this one is very down to earth and really likes me for me and how i am now vs. the last one who wanted me to dress better, wear nice shoes all the time when we went out etc. overall it just feels more "comfortable."

you should do these things.

meh. don't so much feel like being all prim and proper all the time.

nice, posting pics on the fb says a lot from her. I didn't see the op about you picking her up. How long have you known her and how many times have you hung out leading up until last nights date?

Hm, party I went to with girl tonight didn't go well. Turns out she has a boyfriend and he wasn't fond of me when he showed up and saw us together. Oops.

picked her up skiing saturday feb 4th.

first date thurs feb 9th.

she cancelled 4 consecutive dates thereafter until she asked me out this past sunday (i was about ready to write her off and was way over thinking stuff).

we went out friday (the post above). that was date #2. on date #2 she invited me to her best friend's party on march 17th, took a few pics of us drinking/smiling/hanging out at the restaurant (posted 1 of them on fb), and ended the night w/ more texting saying how happy she was and how much i make her smile (not just laugh but smile). im making her dinner this friday at my place as date #3.

so yea i'd say this is going quite well. i'm trying to take it slowly and not get ahead of myself as i'm wont to do.

she did strategically choose the one where your face is hidden. JUST SAYIN

damn, 4 cancelled dates. Hard to believe.

LOL

she took 2 pics. One where I look good and she looks bad and one where I have a glass in front of my face and she looks "ok". Not hard to see why she posted that one.

Oh, and she tagged me in it. just sayin.

Yea it was very hard to believe. Our first date was also great.

1. She was sick
2. She had to work a shift at the hospital that nobody could cover (this is the one I thought was a lie).
3. She had to work on Thursday at night and was too tired.

Ok so 3 cancelled dates. but the excuses were like "really?"

Water under the bridge though as she's more than made up for it.

so basically i've come to the conclusion i'm the type of person who the creators of online dating had in mind, where females point blank tell you they are interested in dating. i basically have aspbergers in real life, my friends cant understand why i dont ask girls out who are very clearly interested in me. ive never asked a girl out in my life, though ive always been in a relationship/had options since ive been 16ish (29 now). as long as a girl is attractive i dont really turn them down, but i get stuck in relationships with girls i dont really like with this approach.

set up a profile, get messages. go back and forth for a couple days with a particular girl, but now i'm like putting myself in the friend zone on the internet instead of in real life. just point blank ask a girl to meet up a few messages in? is that expected, or is that too forward/creepy?

Ask her out for sure.

expected, like w/in the first 3 messages.

your first paragraph sounds EERILY SIMILAR to me. though i don't have anything close to aspergers, just never really had to "ask girls out" or "go on dates".

oh wtf

"blah blah hey so how about we meet up for a few drinks blah blah"
"sounds good heres my number call me sometime"

yea ok

am i doing it right?

This should be bolded for all internet dating noobs. If you message a girl then ask for her number by the third message. If she wants to talk more online cut your losses there. If she messages me with a paragraph or two I usually ask her out in my first response. If they just have a one liner then I ask them out in my 2nd message.

when you guys meet a girl for the first time do you think it's weird to shake her hand?

like if you go over your friends place in a casual setting, and he's like 'oh this is amy', do you do a handshake, a silly wave, something else?

yesterday i met a cutie, and gave her a handshake and she gave me like a wtf look...

then later at a bar, for a different chick i had only seen one other time, she comes up and gives me a hug

i didnt think anything of it at the time, but i thought about it today while nursing a hangover. this hug/handshake business is confusing. i dont want to make a crucial mistake here and have my genes possibly wiped out

this is talking about people in their early 20's

I always go for the palm rotating up handshake so they can do the girly part of the handshake but sometimes. I think its helpful to help remember names and I find all the other options more awkward

im sure its been discussed, but whats the general strategy for going for girls in your social circle? ive definitely screwed this up the last two times ive done it so i thought id get input this time.

a girl in our social circle recently moved with her sister a half mile from me so they will definitely be hanging out with our group a lot more often going forward. met her sister for the first time friday at a party and we hit it off really well, have a ton in common, etc, ended up going home with her and fooling around for awhile (she didnt want to have sex, no big deal). shes my type though so id like to find out if theres relationship potential there while keeping the chance for social circle awkwardness to a minimum. i feel like being less direct and allowing things to develop slower and more gradually is the right play, ie only hang out in group settings for now, dont ask her out on any dates or anything?

Actually it sounds like it went fairly well. Girl goes with u and her bf gets jealous and insecure. Just keep hanging out with her and let him keep acting like that.

Don't even think about it in terms of worrying about the social circle. You guys like each other, you hooked up great. That's what people do and a lot of times it's the same social circle or whatever. I'd just wait until the next time you see her, see how that is and then just grab her number to hang out.


So I just had 3rd date with daytime date only girl. I turned it up a little told her she had a cute smile. She had me feel her hands as she said they were cold , so I took them held on a little longer than normal. Lot of smiling at each other, smooth conversation. I felt it went well.Problem is next month she has to go away for a week to family wedding and where she will normally get 1 night a week off, she will get like none next month. So for now it's gonna be pretty much daytime dates only although I may try to push her to try to get a night off for us at some point. I was gonna try to make plans at the end of the date to see her again but decided to hold off and just wait and call her in a few days.It's going slower than I like although just sittin with someone and talking for 2 hours without having like dinner and drinks or whatever is kind of a change for me, like I'm actually getting to know her. So idk any thoughts on my next move?

Bjlu: might be an age thing (I'm 31) but I always do a standard handshake when meeting a girl for the first time. This goes for random girls I've just introduced myself to as well as close circle of friends introductions.

pretty much agree. in my experience just let the girls come to you and initiate conversation, much more comfortable situations. if you cant attract women when you are out during the day doing normal activities, maybe being a pick up artist isnt for you.

don't ask them out over a message/email. get their number, call or text at the very least to ask them out.

tony dunst tho!