Dating/Relationship General Advice Thread - Volume 10 --Spring 2012 Edition - Page 74 - EDF Forum

thac · 07-22-2012, 04:03 PM

Maybe she's just cautious about that, I had a couple girls I knew like that that turned out to be decent relationships. It sounds like the night went pretty well though other than that. Best of luck Burdz, I'm gonna check out that OKC app.

Burdzthewurd · 07-22-2012, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thac

Maybe she's just cautious about that, I had a couple girls I knew like that that turned out to be decent relationships. It sounds like the night went pretty well though other than that. Best of luck Burdz, I'm gonna check out that OKC app.

How long did it take you before you either made another move or kissed her for real? It's a first for me, so no idea on standard protocol for something like that

thac · 07-22-2012, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burdzthewurd

How long did it take you before you either made another move or kissed her for real? It's a first for me, so no idea on standard protocol for something like that

I waited until she moved in for the kiss, I think it was the second date for one, and a random spontaneous lunch for the other. I kind of attributed it in my head to calling a girl. After she doesn't pick up, if you try again too quickly, she'll get annoyed and get the wrong idea. May be flawed thinking, but that's what went through my head at the time.

nitwitnit · 07-22-2012, 08:22 PM

lol I wanted to kiss you after that relatively solid trip report. Nohomo obviously.

Ahhh some girl seemed into me. I didn't pull the trigger on asking her out. She wanted me to go to a show that a bunch of them do all the time, but I happened to have a soccer tournament that weekend refereeing 9 soccer games in all so I couldn't go. I haven't seen her since that night, she got teary eyed in the bar when I was with her. As an aside I think she lives with her boyfriend? Not sure. Anyhow I'm getting a group ready to go on wednesday to their show (call it broadway but smaller town, lol solid oversell). Any comments? She also told me when she worked at that place (she's a bartender) but I feel kinda weird going in. If I did I'd just ask her if she wanted to go out some time have a beer then leave. I felt those were the two options for me (either organize a group to go or just go ask her out). Option c being be a weiner but I'm pretty good at that without making specific plans to be that way...... (ie do nothing).

Burdzthewurd · 07-22-2012, 09:48 PM

Texted her around 8, she replied 2 hours later saying thanks for the good date, not interested in another one, standard stuff.

thac · 07-22-2012, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nitwitnit

lol I wanted to kiss you after that relatively solid trip report. Nohomo obviously.

Ahhh some girl seemed into me. I didn't pull the trigger on asking her out. She wanted me to go to a show that a bunch of them do all the time, but I happened to have a soccer tournament that weekend refereeing 9 soccer games in all so I couldn't go. I haven't seen her since that night, she got teary eyed in the bar when I was with her. As an aside I think she lives with her boyfriend? Not sure. Anyhow I'm getting a group ready to go on wednesday to their show (call it broadway but smaller town, lol solid oversell). Any comments? She also told me when she worked at that place (she's a bartender) but I feel kinda weird going in. If I did I'd just ask her if she wanted to go out some time have a beer then leave. I felt those were the two options for me (either organize a group to go or just go ask her out). Option c being be a weiner but I'm pretty good at that without making specific plans to be that way...... (ie do nothing).

You'd have an easier time talking to her at the bar I feel like than at her show, right? If so, do that.

Deldar182 · 07-22-2012, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by didonk

got 2 text message 'problems' so i figured i'd ask here.

theres a girl who followed one course in my class this year cus she didnt pass that one in her first year, so she had to redo it. after 1 or 2 classes of this she sent (semi) nude pics of herself to one guy in class who then showed it to a bunch of us (classy stuff i know). but he doesnt want anything to do with her. no clue why, super hot. had a few random chats w her at school here n there. then one day she calls me during school hours if ive seen person X around, cause she needed that person for some project. doesnt wanna say how she got my number. after exams are done i decide to text her how it went etc and weve been texting a bit ever since. she says a lot of "hahaha's" in her replies but its all about like what are you doing for holiday/vacation, and school stuff etc. so very casual with some jokey stuff thrown in. basically i wanna steer it a bit from that casual talk into more sexual direction. but have no idea how without coming across as a bit of a creep. side note she is turkish and pretty sure muslim so askin to go for a drink or whatever seems tricky cause they dont drink afaik. that of course raises some issues but considering those pics she sent it seems that she might be a bit of a freak anyway. any tips?

now the other one. girl i know through a group of friends/acquaintances who i went to a few techno parties with where she was part of same group. then one night run into her at a bar where there was some party of a mutual acquaintance. we chat for hours and end up kissing there, and i went home with her and had sex. didnt follow up with anything phone or text. after that i think i ran into her like 3 times, basically hardly ever see her. we havent rlly talked about that night, but she always seems to light up a bit when we run into each other and its not awkward or w/e, at least not from her side. one of those times even she came up to me and said she was v drunk and lookin at me with doughy eyes etc. so i was like ok gonna do this again, will get on that after i talk with a few of my mates over there..... 15 mins later she kissing with some random guy and 10 mins later leaves with him. massive tilt! considering im getting like zero action atm i'm thinking of sending her a text basically functioning as a sort of booty call.

but totally clueless on how to word it, considering we never text. also we know a lot of same people so eh eh eh. i'm pretty bad at this stuff. again any tips on how to proceed?

simple answer for both really mate just march right up to them and punch them in the face

nitwitnit · 07-23-2012, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burdzthewurd

Texted her around 8, she replied 2 hours later saying thanks for the good date, not interested in another one, standard stuff.

fwiw I was friends with a girl that admitted to having like 30-40 first dates with guys then never having a second one. I'm certain the guys weren't the problem in that one.

Burdzthewurd · 07-23-2012, 05:48 PM

I appreciate the kind words, but talking to Mittens make me realize how badly I'm ****ing things regardless of end result, and really makes me think I just have no business even dating birds right now

skunkworks · 07-23-2012, 06:15 PM

Burdz, can you elaborate?

Mittens · 07-23-2012, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burdzthewurd

I appreciate the kind words, but talking to Mittens make me realize how badly I'm ****ing things regardless of end result, and really makes me think I just have no business even dating birds right now

What?

daryn · 07-23-2012, 07:38 PM

lol

Fossilkid93 · 07-23-2012, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nitwitnit

fwiw I was friends with a girl that admitted to having like 30-40 first dates with guys then never having a second one. I'm certain the guys weren't the problem in that one.

I read an article recently about a girl who reduced her food budget in NYC immensely by using online dating to get guys to take her to expensive dinners and such. I think she had over 100 1st dates in a year. Part of the reason I mainly just do drinks or something cheap on dates 1 and 2.

MikeSki · 07-23-2012, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fossilkid93

I read an article recently about a girl who reduced her food budget in NYC immensely by using online dating to get guys to take her to expensive dinners and such. I think she had over 100 1st dates in a year. Part of the reason I mainly just do drinks or something cheap on dates 1 and 2.

smart girl imo

joesmith1pick · 07-25-2012, 11:51 PM

ok so i was in a 2.5 year relationship that ended ~2 years ago. it ended on weird terms kinda, and we kept seeing each other for another year or more afterwards, and were still having sex as recently as 6 months ago. i was seeing other women in the meantime, but nothing serious, including me getting with a girl that i had been friends with/talking with since college and had a huge crush on (we were always very similar but timing was always bad-- turns out i don't want to be with myself and the logistics are bad on that one anyways). my ex (first girl i mentioned, who i will keep calling my ex) found out about that and was predictably soul crushed. although we weren't together and she might have been dating around a little bit, i knew she wanted to be with me. i reasoned that i was traveling too much, hadn't dated around enough, was a more confident person than i was when i got with her. it was stale after the first 18 months or so, i was very aloof, broadening my horizons and traveling more and seeing her less. things were still good, we still didn't really fight, but i was bored. i hadn't been with enough random girls, i thought i might be able to do better. my ex is a 7.5 prob, and it doesn't seem like she has particularly good genes/could gain weight at any moment. she has bad metabolism, puts forth some effort but is still curvy (like i said, for the best, but on the cusp of too much curve).

on to present day. she finally started seeing someone else (although a mutual friend is positive she is still all about me, was incredibly hurt, doesn't think she'll ever get over me), and it's driving me crazy. i'm not really in deep depression, but i am masking it by seeing more random girls-- they are girls that i would basically definitely not date but i am open with them about the fact that im not in one place for a very long amount of time and they know it's just for fun/sex. they are mostly lateral moves-- some crazy, some with better bodies, but none more than an 8. if i were to spend my time with someone who fits that description, i would much rather just be with her. i enjoy her company (prob from so long together) much more, her mannerisms, habits, etc.

i fear a few things: 1. i would much rather be spending my time with this girl than other girls. i was doing that like 6 months ago-- i had reduced the relationship from gf to fwb and still managed to see her sometimes (had a date on the weekends, someone to go to the movies with). i think i need a vertical movement, which brings me to my next point 2. i have no single friends, they are all a few years older than me and married (although none with kids) or in a serious relationship. i don't like to go out anyway. 3. i think i could snap get her back, but im very much worried that i would end up feeling the same thing i did towards the end of our last relationship. the grass is always greener. 4. for the first time in my life im feeling empathy. i crushed this girl and she was/is all about me. i feel sick that she's with someone else, and i know how she must've felt while i was dating around the last two years (i was definitely being more active than she was, although i guess that's the nature of guys), specifically getting with her arch rival (girl who i talked about earlier that i was friends with for a long time that i used to talk about my relationship with, wish she would never have found out about her obv).

overall, my decision has been this: i think in the short term i would be much happier getting back with her. effort free sex is the key to happiness in life and our sex life was just fine. i am not particularly close to settling down, and although she hasn't show signs of wanting to do that at all, i think if we did get back together there would be an implied level of seriousness added to the relationship. ultimately, i am going to prob leave to do some traveling or some BS and i don't want to be confined to being in the same city as her, nor do i want a LTR. i know at some point i will decide her genes aren't good enough, she isn't good looking enough, she isn't smart enough, she isn't funny enough but im also just worried that the longer i wait the less chance that i get her back. i feel like i'll probably end up hurting her worse again, but i get depressed thinking about how hurt she has been for the last two years (I never led her on during this time but it's safe to assume we were hanging out enough with oscillating between sexing and not sexing that she thought we might get back together). part of me thinks if i get back into it and put more effort into it i will get more out of it.

it seems like i've already made up my mind not to get back with her, but i thought i'd post anyways because i've been dying to talk to someone about it that is outside of the current situation (most of my friends like her).

cliffs: i ramble about how my ex might not be hot enough but i am sad without her, i feel like this is a pretty clear case of wanting something i can't have but am still upset that im spending time with girls who are a clear dead end when even if she was a dead end too, she was a much better dead end. i like the freedom of being single but im bored and kinda lonely. read the ****ing post.