Dating/Relationship General Advice Thread - Volume 10 --Spring 2012 Edition - Page 4 - EDF Forum

Interbeed · 03-08-2012, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LucidDream

As seems to be the case quite often when someone used the term "hooked up"...what do you mean by that?

I banged her

El Diablo · 03-08-2012, 12:45 PM

Inter,

That is a surprising twist. Good work, I guess. FWIW, I don't think your best next move is likely to be professing your love for her. But at this point, man, who knows!

LucidDream · 03-08-2012, 01:24 PM

Inter...I think your best play is to continue dating her and continue sleeping with her and see what develops between the 2 of you. If she just slept with you and a few days later you confess your love for her and she doesn't feel the same, her reaction is likely going to be to run. I'd give it some time and let it progress like a normal relationship.

optionsguy · 03-08-2012, 04:46 PM

^^^that

Gimmickdater · 03-09-2012, 02:41 AM

I have been seeing a girl on and off for a few months. We had made out but she stopped me before anything else happened. I thought it was over since we didn't talk for five days (I didn't text her as I was busy) and then she texted me said that she wanted to be friends and didn't think we should date. I went out of town for a few weeks so we hadn't seen each other until last week.

She texted me quite a bit over the time I was out of town. Last Friday she came over to play some jenga as friends, her idea not mine. We drank a few bottles of wine and had a great time and ended up having sex. We also had sober sex in the morning.

We went out two nights later for dinner. We each had a drink during dinner. Afterwards she came up to my place and I started kissing her. She was interested in some kissing but stopped me when I tried to take off her shirt.

Tonight she came over. We had a glass of wine, talked, and then watched a movie. Again she didn't want to do more than kiss.

We are going skiing together this weekend for a few days. If we were having sex I would say this relationship was progressing totally normally. I have never had a relationship that after we had sex we didn't anymore but still dated and hung out.

Anyone else experience anything like this? I'd love any thoughts. I realize what I wrote its probably hard to draw many conclusions from, but I am happy to give more detail.

El Diablo · 03-09-2012, 03:05 AM

Gd,

That is pretty weird.

Gimmickdater · 03-09-2012, 03:21 AM

Sigh, It felt weird to me as well. I guess this weekend I am just going to have a good time, enjoy her company and not try to hook up with her anymore.

LucidDream · 03-09-2012, 11:37 AM

Yea, that's strange. If you really want to be friends with her then do that. If not then just cut her off.

panda · 03-09-2012, 12:41 PM

If it happens again you could always ask her what's up. Having already slept together removes much of the awkwardness of that, and if you're otherwise going to discontinue seeing her then there's not much to lose if it is awkward. Besides, if you already think it is awkward, she probably does too somehow.

Gimmickdater · 03-09-2012, 12:47 PM

Great advice Panda. I'll talk to her if it happens again. I am pretty happy being friends as well so talking about it seems like the way to go.

1C5 · 03-09-2012, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gimmickdater

Great advice Panda. I'll talk to her if it happens again. I am pretty happy being friends as well so talking about it seems like the way to go.

BS. What guy is happy being friends and not sleeping with a girl after he slept with her? Wait till she starts telling you about her dates and guy problems...see how much you like it then.

DcifrThs · 03-09-2012, 05:36 PM

so here's a role reversal that i'm not entirely comfy with.

typically the guy is the 'friend' but a few months ago, a friend of mine from high school got divorced and reached out to me and was very obviously happy that i (at that point) recently broke up w/ my gf. she was being quite obvious that she wanted to date me and i've done the very best i can for a few months to a) be her friend (she's a pretty decent skier and we've gone on a few trips together), and b) just slough off the repeated attempts at getting me to ask her out.

when she has a few drinks though she tries to like, rationally discuss how "easy and great" it would be if we were together and i do absolutely everything i can to tell her it wouldn't work etc. w/o saying how i really feel which is i'm flat out not attracted to her at all. she should get it by now. i don't want to hurt her, but at the same time, the repeated drunk propositioning is kinda grating at this point.

any thoughts on how best to both keep her as a friend without hurting her feelings and ending the drunken propositions? i'm assuming a sober talk is probably going to be suggested, which i'm fine with though it may be embarrassing for her.

SleeveOfWizard · 03-09-2012, 07:09 PM

Coming off a long relationship - currently seeing a younger girl, way out of my league. She's 19, smoking, filthy rich, very well educated, and is on TV. I'm almost 26 and well, I'm a 2p2er... Where do I take her/what do I do to help keep interest, considering she probably gets hit on <20 times a day?

LucidDream · 03-09-2012, 07:11 PM

Dcifr,

I had a girl doing that with me for a couple months. This was a girl I was friendly with but never overly flirty. She was overly flirty me for over a month until she basically told me through another person. She didn't seem to get it or maybe thought I didn't realize she was into me despite it being very obv. I just continued being friendly but never really flirted back. Eventually she saw I wasn't responding to her and had started dating someone and just gave up. It's a long process sometimes but i think that is probably the best way to go about it rather than just telling her straight up that you're not interested which is direct but could be kinda hurtful.

Deldar182 · 03-10-2012, 03:21 AM

Hey everybody,
Thinking about becoming a regular poster here, and then maybe one day I will know what it is like to touch a woman on the inside

Here is my first attempt at advice

GimmickDater,
I think I have seen this before. Need a bit more information though. ages? In the past had you ever had sex? Do you know if she had some breakup or something recently? How frequently do you text her/call her between seeing her, and do you see her often?

Dcifr,
Meh at telling her outright, I'd wait for it to get a little worse before going that far. Act disinterested and not flirty at all. If she asks tell her you're not interested in relationships right now. Tell her about a guy friend you know and how you'd think they'd be a great match