Dating/Relationship General Advice Thread - Volume 10 --Spring 2012 Edition - Page 36 - EDF Forum

El Diablo · 04-01-2012, 09:41 PM

Dcifr,

Given that you pulled out, I assume you discussed and she's not on the pill or any other form of contraception?

DcifrThs · 04-01-2012, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Commuter

Was hoping I could get some input on two situations:

1. Met a girl a few weekends ago. Recent graduate of t14 law school

assuming t14=top 14...that's hilarious. seriously? that means it's the 14th best law school, period.

Quote:

and seemed nice/interesting. After hanging out a second time I went back to her apt and noticed a prescription on her coffee table. I looked it up and it was for a fairly serious anti-depressant. How would you proceed? In the past I've been reluctant to end things with girls for something outside of their control.

if you like her, don't dump her for being on an anti-depressant.

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2. I went on four or five dates with a girl a while back. For some reason I never felt comfortable on them and after the fifth date she said she just wanted to be friends. Being as nervous as I was on those dates I could hardly blame her, but I liked her and wanted to continue dating her. Recently I saw her where I work and she came up to me and smiled like crazy. I blew her off and felt bad about it after. I sent her a text saying "sorry I shouldnt have been rude there. Good to see you.". She replied that it was good to see me too and I left it at that. I realize I probably shouldn't have sent the text but I just wanted to talk to her. Does her coming up to me and trying to engage me leave any hope that I could have another shot, or was she just trying to be nice?

came up to you and "smiled like crazy"? didn't say hi? i don't even know what that means exactly if she didn't come up and say hi. even if she did, prob unlikely to have a shot but i guess it's possible.

DcifrThs · 04-01-2012, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by El Diablo

Dcifr,

Given that you pulled out, I assume you discussed and she's not on the pill or any other form of contraception?

i did not in the moment. i just told her do xyz and i'll pull out and left it at that. possible she's on bc but i'll just bring a condom next time and ask if she's on the pill.

at least you're back on my side now...sheesh lol.

Commuter · 04-01-2012, 09:52 PM

I'm only somewhat familiar with law school rankings but I think that's how they refer to the 14 schools in the first tier.

She obviously said hi and asked how I was doing etc.

DcifrThs · 04-01-2012, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Commuter

I'm only somewhat familiar with law school rankings but I think that's how they refer to the 14 schools in the first tier.

i was unaware of this, but i'd still bet it's #14 lol.

Quote:

She obviously said hi and asked how I was doing etc.

ya never know. maybe it's possible. not sure why you texted her w/ that or blew her off. both of those make it super unlikely from here on out.

El Diablo · 04-01-2012, 10:06 PM

Dcifr,

I don't know what you mean by "on your side." I just think it would be awesomely hilarious if this impulsive moment of yours ended up in a little Dcifr 75% Jewnior. Probably more funny for the thread than you, I guess.

For future reference, girls who are ready to **** right away are generally pretty easy to have conversations with about STDs, BC, morning-after pills, etc.

Commuter · 04-01-2012, 10:10 PM

Yeah that was obviously a stupid move on my part, which goes along with every other move I made with her. I sent the text because I realized instantly that it was a dumb reaction to have.

Commuter · 04-01-2012, 10:11 PM

And it's definitely not #14, not that it matters.

LucidDream · 04-01-2012, 10:14 PM

Commuter,

1). Personally I'd run. I wouldn't be getting involved with a girl who is going to end up having a huge workload and who is on anti depressants. Especially seeing as you just met her.

2). Seems like nothing has really changed other than you saw a girl again that you still harbor feelings for. You shouldn't have blown her off because you at least could have gotten a better read on the situation and gone from there but its likely she still isn't interested anyway so you didn't lose much anyway.

Commuter · 04-01-2012, 10:18 PM

Fwiw I had asked a few people for advice after the second girl said that she just wanted to be friends and they each said it sounded like something else was going on with her. I have a tendency to blame myself anytime something goes wrong (I still think I messed this one up).

LucidDream · 04-01-2012, 10:23 PM

Dcifr,

Do you realize you've made things more awkward than necessary by never talking about dating other women in front of this girl that you know likes you. You don't want to throw things in her face but if you hadn't been actively hiding the fact that you're dating people and interested in other women she probably would have lost hope a long time ago.

LucidDream · 04-01-2012, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Commuter

Fwiw I had asked a few people for advice after the second girl said that she just wanted to be friends and they each said it sounded like something else was going on with her. I have a tendency to blame myself anytime something goes wrong (I still think I messed this one up).

Well without details who knows. But blowing her off if you had any chance was definitely the worst play you made followed by that awkward text you sent her. If you had a small chance you probably shot yourself in the foot on this one.

DcifrThs · 04-01-2012, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by El Diablo

Dcifr,

I don't know what you mean by "on your side." I just think it would be awesomely hilarious if this impulsive moment of yours ended up in a little Dcifr 75% Jewnior. Probably more funny for the thread than you, I guess.

a) on my side = not rooting for me to have an impulsive act lead to having a kid lol

b) it'd be 100% jewish. her mom's jewish so the kid could make aliyah if he/she wanted.

Quote:

For future reference, girls who are ready to **** right away are generally pretty easy to have conversations with about STDs, BC, morning-after pills, etc.

yea i just didn't think of it (stupidly) at the time and had already discounted pulling out.

also--> lol...last thing. i have another date w/ another girl on tuesday. so i am doing some active dating overall in addition to H. if that goes really well too then i'll be dating 2 people after having slept w/ one. first time in a while and i already kinda don't feel super good about the prospect.

daryn · 04-01-2012, 10:34 PM

lol this is too priceless. dcifr really trying hard to give that kid a baby brother/sister for a late hanukkah gift.

LucidDream · 04-01-2012, 10:53 PM

I'm hesitant to ask this here because I don't want to derail the thread so if ElD thinks its not appropriate then feel free to delete. I don't really want to debate it or do anything that will drag the conversation on for multi pages either.

I just want to know from someone like Dcifr, JWhitt, or another fairly religious person how do you personally get past the whole sex before marriage thing? I'm personally not religious but I was raised Catholic and brought up to think that way. Why is that "rule" not important but things like finding a woman who is of the same religion is? How do you justify it, etc?