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Old 02-07-2007, 05:18 PM   #1
adsman
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On Changing your Life

A number of participants in this forum seem to fall into that slightly tricky age-group just after leaving school. Where you want to make changes but arenít sure how. Where you want to make changes but donít know what to change. I thought that maybe a few of us slightly older posters could share our own experiences with the younger set. Maybe they can learn from our mistakes, or see how easy it can be to effect change. It can be difficult when you arenít sure and you receive conflicting advice as well as pressure to conform to the social norms. So here is how I changed my life.

I grew up in Perth, Western Australia. I breezed through school without doing any work and dropped out of college early on as I couldnít see the point of getting a degree just for the sake of having a degree. I didnít know what I wanted to do and I figured that I would do a degree when I was 100% interested and committed to it. I still donít know what to do by the way.

I worked in bars and clubs, played in bands, acted and a bunch of other stuff. But I wasn't really doing anything that I found worthwhile. And I hadn't experienced anything new or different. Along the way I found a very cool inner-city pad and I started decking it out. I was 22. At one point I ordered a $2500 couch. Now this is 14 years ago. That was an expensive couch. I didnít really have the money to pay for it but I wanted to get something that would last. At one point I remember being in my apartment and suddenly thinking, Ďwhat the feck am I doing? Iím ordering a $2500 couch? Iím 22. Why do I want to set myself up here to trap myself? I havenít even seen another city in my life.í

A bit of a panic attack. Two days later I got a phone call from the couch store. The fabric that I ordered wasnít available. What did I want to do? I told them to cancel the order. I took it as a sign from the universe. ĎYou want to back out kid? OK. Hereís your chance. Now what are you going to do?í

I had a girlfriend. We had been together for a few months. She was older than me and incredibly hot. Way above my station. She decided to move to Sydney to pursue a modeling career. She left. I decided to follow her. I figured that if youíre going to make a change, do it big time. I gave notice on my job and immediately told my parents. No point in hiding it. Things would be challenging enough without that complication thrown in. They were supportive. Do what you have to do, is what they told me. My friends all thought that I was mad. Before I left I had a weird phone conversation with my girlfriend that did not bode well for the future. Whereas before she had been ecstatic that I was coming, now she seemed remote.

I loaded up my motorbike and drove away. At the top of the hills surrounding Perth I stopped and looked back. It was a bit daunting. Behind me was everything I knew. It took my 12 days to reach Sydney. I took the scenic route. On the way I met a French-Canadian dude called Yve who was traveling around on a bike as well. We hooked up and rode together. Adam and Yve traveling around Australia. At night we found a place to pitch our tents and then we drank wine and smoked joints and spoke about life in general. The closer I was getting to Sydney the further I was drifting apart from my girlfriend. The last few days I was an emotional basketcase. I knew when I turned up that things would not be good. But I had to keep going.

I got to Sydney and eventually found my girlfriends house. I had just ridden all the way across Australia and her greeting was a tad on the cold side. She didnít have the guts to tell me that it was over or that she had found someone else. She just let me share her bed and gave me the cold shoulder. I was young and stupid but I still had a sense of pride. The third morning she left for work. I packed up all my kit and left without leaving a note or saying goodbye. I was alone in the city. I knew nobody. I had under a grand in my pocket. I had nowhere to stay.

So what do you do in this situation? The simple stuff. You find a place to live. You find a job. You make some friends. Ultimately change is about taking the steps. You always have two decisions available to you. Yes and no. Shall I do this? Yes or no. The girl was the catalyst that got me out of my comfort zone. Since then Iíve never looked back. It wasnít easy. It was tough. But you try not to worry and keep your attention focused on what is in front of you. The decisions that need a yes or a no.
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Old 02-07-2007, 05:22 PM   #2
El Diablo
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Re: On Changing your Life

ads,

I think Chapters 2, 3, and 4+ in this would be pretty damn interesting to read when you get some time and/or desire to share.
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Old 02-07-2007, 05:27 PM   #3
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Re: On Changing your Life

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ads,

I think Chapters 2, 3, and 4+ in this would be pretty damn interesting to read when you get some time and/or desire to share.
I didn't even consider it as I thought it might be a bit much. Me rabbiting on about my life and all. If there's interest I will. I just wanted to get some of you guys to share your own stories as well.
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Old 02-07-2007, 05:32 PM   #4
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Re: On Changing your Life

I'd be very interested in reading more.
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Old 02-07-2007, 05:40 PM   #5
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Re: On Changing your Life

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Quote:
ads,

I think Chapters 2, 3, and 4+ in this would be pretty damn interesting to read when you get some time and/or desire to share.
I didn't even consider it as I thought it might be a bit much. Me rabbiting on about my life and all. If there's interest I will. I just wanted to get some of you guys to share your own stories as well.
Definetly keep going. I am working on mine and will post ASAP.
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Old 02-07-2007, 05:42 PM   #6
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Re: On Changing your Life

How did you make friends? Sounds easy, but I've found it difficult. I moved 3K miles, new job, new place to live, some cheap furniture, but the friends part has been hard. I've met a few people, both platonic and otherwise, but nothing lasting.
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Old 02-07-2007, 05:54 PM   #7
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Re: On Changing your Life

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How did you make friends? Sounds easy, but I've found it difficult. I moved 3K miles, new job, new place to live, some cheap furniture, but the friends part has been hard. I've met a few people, both platonic and otherwise, but nothing lasting.
I'm in the same situation. I have a few friends, but I struggle to expand my friend base, it is something I really want to do but don't know how to. Part of it is that I am uncomfortable in large social settings where I don't know to many folks. I would like to hear how your story continues. Stories about others lives, even if you think yours may be mundane (although I don't get the sense you do) are helpful to others for various reasons.

Claude
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Old 02-07-2007, 05:58 PM   #8
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Re: On Changing your Life

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ads,

I think Chapters 2, 3, and 4+ in this would be pretty damn interesting to read when you get some time and/or desire to share.
i agree, i'd like to hear how you made the move to another country and what that was like.. what made you choose that country etc.
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Old 02-07-2007, 06:06 PM   #9
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Re: On Changing your Life

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ads,

I think Chapters 2, 3, and 4+ in this would be pretty damn interesting to read when you get some time and/or desire to share.
I'd be interested as well
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Old 02-07-2007, 06:07 PM   #10
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Re: On Changing your Life

please do go on
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Old 02-07-2007, 06:16 PM   #11
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Re: On Changing your Life

Yeah, I will, but if you guys shared as well it would be cool. I don't really want this to turn into, "A life of Ads Brag post". I'm knocking up chapter 2 as we speak though.
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Old 02-07-2007, 06:21 PM   #12
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Re: On Changing your Life

not long enough, did read

write the rest of the story, what kind of job you got, place you found, all that stuff
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Old 02-07-2007, 06:24 PM   #13
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Re: On Changing your Life

This is my story I posted in another forum: http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showfl...0&fpart=all After the Ancardo thread I am pretty bored with life change and philosophy discussion.

I am interested if anyone here managed to change their life while having a couple of kids, or if you were in a rut and were able to turn it around. I think its pretty easy to change when you are single, you just have to stop being afraid, but if you have kids and a family and get in a rut, it must be alot harder.
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Old 02-07-2007, 06:26 PM   #14
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Re: On Changing your Life

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I'm knocking up chapter 2 as we speak though.

Don't do it you're too young for kids. Just kidding.

Looking forward to the next installment.
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Old 02-07-2007, 06:28 PM   #15
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Re: On Changing your Life

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I think its pretty easy to change when you are single, you just have to stop being afraid, but if you have kids and a family and get in a rut, it must be alot harder.
True. I find it a lot harder even with a girlfriend you're trying to maintain. It's definitely easiest to change your life if you just totally pull up roots and move, start over fresh, it feels a lot harder if you stay tied to something or stay in the same place.
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Old 02-07-2007, 06:29 PM   #16
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Re: On Changing your Life

I suppose that finding a place to live, getting a job and making friends arenít really that simple. But they are the basic stuff that you need to do. I got myself a room in a dive of a hostel in Kings Cross, which is the red-light bar district of Sydney. Doing it in style. Finding a room was my first concern. Sydney is huge and I wanted to experience the inner-city life, so I narrowed my area down to the Eastern Suburbs. After a lot of calling I made an appointment with this dude who had his own apartment in Potts Point. Potts Point is right on the harbor. Beautiful location. It was a gothic-style apartment block out of the late twenties. The lift had a sliding door and a sliding cage with purple carpet on the walls. It was rad.

I had the interview with him and his girlfriend. I really wanted that place. Apparently about 50 other people wanted the room as well. Whenever I need something I act in my life like I already have it. Strangely enough this usually results in me getting what I need. I immediately went out to the flashiest department store in town and bought an expensive purple towel for my hoped-to-be room. Four days later I called him up. The room was mine. An empty room. With no bed. So I bought a bed, and some sheets and a blanket and pillow and paid the first two months rent and I had about $50 left in my pocket. But I had a place to stay. One step at a time. I also had two new friends Ė Jeremy and his girlfriend Kate.

I went out and walked from bar to bar until I had a job. It took me about three hours. I started that night. So I had the basics sorted out. Pity that I was emotionally crushed. But I had a new city to explore. I did a lot of walking. I love walking in new cities. Especially if they are pedestrian friendly as Sydney is. I wanted to make some more friends so I signed up to a little writing course. The course was crap, I ended up arguing with the teacher who was just absolutely crap. But I made a new friend. She was in her late forties and was also from Perth. She had also recently made the move across. She was reinventing herself after her kids moved out of home and she ditched her husband. She got me another job as well.

It was a job as a telemarketer for a new-age help guru who ran seminars on mind power and meditation. It was only for ten days and I absolutely hated it. But I resolved myself to do my best and I ended up selling something like 40 courses at $350 a pop over the phone. The guru dude offered me a full time job. I took it with one eye open for something better. The Friday after I started full time the flightly girl who took care of the desktop publishing quit in a huff. I found my boss in a bit of a panic and he explained the problem to me. I immediately told him that I knew heaps about desktop publishing and that I could do the job. Anything to get off those horrible phones. He was ecstatic. I got the job. I had until Monday to learn everything I could about desktop publishing on an Apple Powermac circa 1994.

Just about every job Iíve ever got Iíve lied in some way to get. Tell them what they want to hear. Figure it out as you go along. If you donít know something, ask. If they quiz you on why you donít know say that in the other job it was slightly different, blah blah blah. I read the manual back to front over the weekend and on Monday I waltzed in and hoped to hell that I could pull it off. There were some tight moments but I got the job done. I also had some new friends in the small office. We went out for drinks after work. I hoped I wouldnít bump into my ex.
I play the guitar pretty well and I wanted to meet some musoís, so I signed up for some advanced jazz guitar lessons at a little guitar shop. The teacher was good, I learnt some new stuff and I met a few cool musicians and we got a little jazz-funk band going. At the same time my boss asked me to help him on his tours. I became his personal assistant. We did weekends in Sydney, then one up in Newcastle. Then we did a week in Brisbane. Flying up, staying in a 5 star hotel, getting paid for it. It was all good. Then we did a two week trip to Cairns. Way up in the tropics. I fell in love with the town. I remember sitting at an outside cafŤ on the esplanade. I was drinking a coffee. A guy sat down and started talking to me. Just like that. Then a girl. Then another girl. Nobody knew each other. It was just so laid back and natural. I knew that this would have to be my next stop. We went back to Sydney and a few months later we did another trip to Cairns. That sealed it for me. We got back to Sydney and I put in my resignation. My boss wasnít surprised. He said, ďI knew Iíd lose you sooner or later.Ē He gave me a bonus. I packed up my bike, gave away my bed and other stuff Iíd collected and set off on the 4500km trip up to Cairns.

I replaced the chain on the bike before I left but not the chain ring. Very silly thing to do. In the middle of ******g nowhere the chain tore itself to pieces. And ripped the chain ring to shreds into the bargain. I hitched 800km back to Sydney. The bike was a write-off as I crashed it when the chain tore up. I was OK. Just a little shaken. A very good mate from Perth called me up two days after I got back to Sydney. He was in town. He had driven across to surprise me. Decided to do what I had done. I told him what had happened and that I was set on going to Cairns. That was cool with him, heíd come to Cairns too. So off we went in his little Suzuki Vitara.

When we got into Cairns around a week later we werenít talking. Something about him not letting me choose any music on the stereo for the whole trip. He wanted to stay in a campsite out of town which meant that I would have been dependant on him for getting around. I told him to drop me off in the town and catcha later dude. I needed some time by myself. So here we go again. Checked into a nice little boarding house right on the beach. And proceeded to do it all over again. House, job and friends.
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Old 02-07-2007, 06:33 PM   #17
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Re: On Changing your Life

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I am interested if anyone here managed to change their life while having a couple of kids, or if you were in a rut and were able to turn it around. I think its pretty easy to change when you are single, you just have to stop being afraid, but if you have kids and a family and get in a rut, it must be alot harder.
This does sound interesting and I'd like to hear stories about this as well, but is this just another way of saying mid-life crisis?
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Old 02-07-2007, 06:36 PM   #18
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Re: On Changing your Life

more please
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Old 02-07-2007, 06:41 PM   #19
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Re: On Changing your Life

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more please
Will do tomorrow. It's bedtime now in Italy.
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Old 02-07-2007, 06:42 PM   #20
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Re: On Changing your Life

Quote:
Quote:
I am interested if anyone here managed to change their life while having a couple of kids, or if you were in a rut and were able to turn it around. I think its pretty easy to change when you are single, you just have to stop being afraid, but if you have kids and a family and get in a rut, it must be alot harder.
This does sound interesting and I'd like to hear stories about this as well, but is this just another way of saying mid-life crisis?
Somebody picking up and moving to another place is interesting, but its not really hard. They just have to do it. I am wondering if someone has a cool story where they quit their job and opened their own business and were able to succeed, anything along those lines. I saw a cheesy family movie 'In America' recently which made me think about that.
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Old 02-07-2007, 06:47 PM   #21
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Re: On Changing your Life

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Quote:
more please
Will do tomorrow. It's bedtime now in Italy.
Now I can't wait for the rest of this.
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Old 02-07-2007, 07:12 PM   #22
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Re: On Changing your Life

This is good reading.

Quote:
I got myself a room in a dive of a hostel in Kings Cross, which is the red-light bar district of Sydney.
Ha, awesome. I feel like i've stayed in everyone of these. Funkhouse w/ the acid art, the black one on the opposite corner which doubles up as a club and has Miss Backpacker awards and the general ones like Globe Backpackers etc. We shared a room with a painter who had no teeth and a healthly drug addiction. He came back to australia 4 months of the year to work 60 hours a week then live in thailand for the rest.

Kings Cross was awesome, there aren't many places you can see a 45 year old hooker tripping on acid while eating your breakfast.

Back on note, I feel like my life is starting to suck atm since i'm not making any decisions about the direction of my life. Maybe i should start a thread, for 30 days El Diablo Forum gets to plan my life day by day/week by week, you tell me what to do/where to go/things to experience that you think will benefit me, i'll pick the best few and stick to them.
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Old 02-07-2007, 08:27 PM   #23
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Re: On Changing your Life

Wow great stuff Adsman, more please!
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Old 02-07-2007, 09:47 PM   #24
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Re: On Changing your Life

"It's bed time here in italy" is such a tease

A+, I hope part of this story involves a stint as a journalist or writer.
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Old 02-07-2007, 10:46 PM   #25
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Re: On Changing your Life

Everyone:

If you have a story like this, post it. I guarantee you it might seem regular or ordinary to you (it's your life after all), but the rest of us will enjoy it. it is pretty damn hard to write a bad life story.
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