Originally Posted by Hardball47
A couple, Veronica and Carl, decide to go golfing one weekend to a countryside course far outside of the city. During one of the holes Carl takes a wild swing and the ball smashes a window of a nearby mansion. In a panic they both hurry to investigate.
"Oh, dear. We should see if anyone's home," says Veronica.
"Are you kidding," Carl said in a mildly concerned manner. "This window looks like it costs half a year's salary! Let's just forget it, they probably won't even notice this side anyway."
"It's the size of a garage door... We have to, at least, apologize. Who knows who's mansion this is," cautioned Veronica.
Reluctantly, Carl agreed, and they both walked to the front door. As Carl reached for the door bell, Veronica realized that one of the main doors is open. She pushed the large, beautifully carved wooden door gently and stepped in.
"What are you DOING?!" Carl remarked.
"Taking a look inside," Veronica said with a devilish smile.
"We smashed his window, and now we're breaking into his house?"
"YOU smashed his window!" Veronica exclaimed.
"Oh, I see. So when we find jewelry it's going to be my turn again," Carl said sarcastically.
*Dirty look from Veronica.*
As they journeyed through the mansion and enjoyed the spectacle of paintings, furniture and ornaments, they came to a large hall with what appeared to be a handsome, well-dressed man sitting in an ancient-looking chair fit for a king.
"Welcome to my abode," he said in calm manner that almost demanded respect and attention.
"Oh my gosh, we are so sorry for the window," Veronica said obsequiously.
"It will cost you..." the man said in a stern manner.
"I guess, we can forget all about that Vegas trip, honey," said Carl, tilting his head up in a heavy sigh, as he bemoaned his current predicament.
"...However, I am not unreasonable," the man said, as he stood up from his chair, towering over the husband and wife.
The couple, eager to listen to the alternative, were shocked when the man revealed himself.
"I am, what some would call, a genie. This mansion, you see, is my prison. Although it feels strange to think of this place as a prison, I have come to accept it as my home. You are my first visitors in over 4000 years, and.. well.. even genies can get lonely." He looks over yearningly at the wife, as he finishes his revelation.
"Oh, no. Not gonna happen, pal," Carl says shaking his head. After a sudden Eureka moment, he looks up and asks, "if I agree to this, do I get my three wishes?"
"You shall," says the genie.
Veronica at this point, scared, confused, and even excited all at once, "what if I don't agree?"
"Then you and your husband forgo your Vegas trip to pay for the repairmen," reminded the genie.
"Goddamn it. Just.... Get it over it," said Carl in exasperation.
The genie holds Veronica's hand and leads her upstairs. He stops and turns to Carl, "you can use the chair, if you like."
"So what, I can FEEL like a king while you plough my wife? Ass hole," Carl thinks to himself as he gives a fake smile and nod.
After a good hour of pleasure for the genie, and undoubtedly Veronica, he turns to her and asks, "how old is your husband?"
"Thirty six. Why?"
"Wow. And he still believes in genies? I'm the personal assistant, by the way. My boss is away on vacation to Vegas. Now, feel free to change and get out of here, before I let the dogs loose."
