and what? the bottom of the pic got cut off

FAIL

That joke was pretty old and the headshot was awfully fake, I stopped the video at the right time to show this:



he got hit by a rotten tomato or sumtin lol

I hope you are levelling

There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those who do not.

But how many bits?

A beautiful girl is sitting alone in a hotel bar when a guy sits next to her and orders a drink. He then pulls a small box out of his pocket and puts it down. After a couple of minutes her curiosity gets the better of her and she asks the guy what is inside.
"Well" he smiles, "thats my special frog".
The girl asks "special frog? Why is he special?"
"Well it's kind of embarrassing to say and you look like a classy lady, I wouldn't want to offend you by saying."
The girl is very curious by now and insists he tell her.
"Well ok, my frog is an expert at giving women oral sex."
"Bull****", the girl says, "a frog? That's ridiculous!"
The guy laughs and says "it's true honestly, look if you don't believe me try him out for yourself, take him to your room and within 5 minutes he'll give you the best orgasm of your life."
Well the girl figures she's got nothing to lose so she goes to her room with the frog and the guy waits patiently outside.
After 10 minutes she shouts to the guy, "hey buddy I think your frog is broken or something cos it's been 10 minutes now and he hasn't done a damn thing, he just sits there!"
So the guy walks into the room, picks up the frog and says to him "look you stupid piece of ****, im gonna show you one last time!"

I was in the bar last night and this fat broad sat down next to me. I leaned over and told her I wished I had a little pussy. She busted out wailing

<sob>Me Too! Mine's as big as a house<sob>

jezus dude, That joke is probably older than you

Joke originality is indeed of the utmost, but when a joke is so common it's the title of a Bob and Tom album, yeah it's damn old

A boy is doing poorly in kindergarten. His father says to him, "If you can bring your grades up and keep them for an entire year, I'll buy you anything you want."

The boy agrees to this. For one whole year, he keeps his grades high. At his kindergarten graduation, the boy's father says, "All right, we made a deal. What do you want?"

"Golf balls." replies the boy. "A bag of golf balls."
The father is a bit puzzled, but he gets the golf balls.

The next year, they agree to do the same deal--keep his grades up and he'll get anything he wants. The boy keeps his grades up. First grade graduation, he asks his father, "I want golf balls."

This continues every year--the father will strike a deal with his son, the son will keep his grades up, he can get anything he wants. Each and every year, he asks for golf balls.

It is the end of the senior year in high school. The boy's father takes his son out to a restaurant to celebrate his graduation. "All right son, this year is it. What do you want?"

"Golf balls."

"Look, son, every single year from kintergarten to twelfth grade, you've asked me for golf balls. Not this year. I'm getting you a car"

"No, dad, I want golf balls."

"You're getting a car and that's final."

Shocked and upset, the boy runs out of the restaurant. He runs into the street and is hit by a truck.

The father rushed out in time to see the truck collide with his son's body. He races over to the boy, who is barely breathing. "Son, son, I'm so sorry!"
He is crying. He knows the boy will not live. " Just answer me this one question before you go. What did you want will all those golf balls?"

The boy dies.

Hmmm. I mean, I hate it. But I guess it's sort of awesome in a way.

What the ****? Unless I'm somehow missing something, that's not really a joke, that's just terrible, more like a troll. Tilting.

Where's the awesomeness?

That joke can go on for awhile. The longer the better as long as it ends like this:

Shocked and upset, the boy runs out of the restaurant. He runs into the street and is hit by a truck.

The father rushed out in time to see the truck collide with his son's body. He races over to the boy, who is barely breathing. "Son, son, I'm so sorry!"
He is crying. He knows the boy will not live. " Just answer me this one question before you go. What did you want will all those golf balls?"

The boy dies.

The moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street.

If that joke annoyed you, you'll hate this: http://imgur.com/gallery/r190Y

kinda hard to be depressed when they are in a comic strip format.

<3 this comment :

Trooper comes to the door -
Ma'am, I have some good news and some bad news for you.
Your son has been injured in a car accident. He is paralyzed from the neck down. You are going to have to bathe him, feed him and take complete care of him for the rest of your life.

Wailing, Mom says and the good news?





Trooper -
I'm kidding. He's dead!

I have one I just heard... Terribad but probably has an audience somewhere:

Why does Snoop Dog always carry an umbrella?

Trooper comes to the door and tells the Woman that he has some good news and some bad news for her.
"I'm sorry Ma'am , your husbands been killed in a boating accident"

<Wailing> "And the good news?"

These are awful

Why should you never trust an atom?

why can u never trust a molecule ?

why is this thread still open?

Q: why was cinderella such a bad volleyball player?

A: Her coach was a pumpkin.