Joke of the day - Page 14 - Laughs or Links

LotsOfOuts69 · 07-19-2012, 10:47 PM

A Chicken and an Egg are lying in bed together. The chicken's smoking a cigarette, and the Egg goes:

Spoiler:

"Well I guess that settles that"

julscot74342 · 07-23-2012, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LotsOfOuts69

A Chicken and an Egg are lying in bed together. The chicken's smoking a cigarette, and the Egg goes:

Spoiler:

"Well I guess that settles that"

hahaha I can imagine that!

||.||.|| · 07-28-2012, 10:38 AM

Riverdinho · 07-30-2012, 09:50 AM

A baby seal walks into a club...

powder_8s · 07-30-2012, 10:25 AM

This thread is as fun as clubbing baby seals..

||.||.|| · 10-03-2012, 02:35 AM

ZwiFT · 10-03-2012, 10:00 PM

Why is blonde girls belly button all blue?

Spoiler:

Because blonde guys are stupid too.

gsr142 · 10-04-2012, 01:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sean Fraley

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

Spoiler:

*gag*

Easily my favorite.

Gabethebabe · 10-04-2012, 06:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notitfortat

> A man seeking to join a south Texas Sheriff's Department is being interviewed.
>
> The Sergeant doing the interview says: "Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted."
>
> Then, sliding a service pistol across the desk, he says: "Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal aliens, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, and a rabbit."
>
> "Why the rabbit?"
>
> "Great attitude," says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"

This has an older variation about some dude interviewing Hitler and Himmler, who are planning WWIII. He asks: what you are going to do this time?"
Himmler responds: we're going to kill 20 million jews and an acrobat.
Dude asks: Why the acrobat?
Himmlers looks at Hitler and says: "TOLD YOU SO. Nobody gives a damn about jews"

What is the first thing they say to a black dude, when he is wearing a suit for the first time?

Spoiler:

Will the defendant please rise?

Gabethebabe · 10-04-2012, 06:33 AM

A nun died and went to Heaven. St. Peter at heaven´s gate says: I'm sorry, I can only allow you in if you answer three questions about the bible"
The nun said: That's OK, I can do that.
"OK, here comes question 1: who was the first man on earth"
"HA", said the nun, "That is an easy one! That was Adam!"
St. Peter smiled and he said: "That is the correct answer. Here comes the second question: Who was the first woman on earth?"
"HA", said the nun, "That is an easy one! That was Eve!"
St. Peter smiled and he said: "That is the correct answer. Here comes the last question: what was the first thing Eve said to Adam when they met in Paradise?"
"Oops", said the nun: "That is a hard one"

Spoiler:

And the gate opened

Gabethebabe · 10-04-2012, 06:38 AM

A woman is giving birth in a hospital.
Doctor says: "Push Mary, I see the head coming: baby has got a little black head!"
Mary replies between her puffs: "That is possible, I've done it with a negro."
Doctor says: "OK! The head is out, I can see the babys body! Baby's got a white body!"
Mary replies between her puffs: "That is possible, I've done it with a white dude too."
Doctor says: "OK! There is your baby! It has yellow legs!"
Mary replies: "That's possible - I've done it with a chinese guy too"
Doctor asks in confidence "Mary, are you not ashamed it is so clear that your baby has so many fathers?
Mary replies: "Well doctor, I'm just very happy that he does not bark"

Gabethebabe · 10-04-2012, 06:44 AM

A woman washes ashore of a seemingly uninhabited island after a shipwreck, but after a couple of days she finds there is actually a man on the island. A rough guy, bronzed, kinda attractive, so they start talking when the woman says:
"So, what do you do if you have any, hmmm, sexual desire?"
The man responds: "well, a couple miles back is a tree with a hole in it. If I'm horny, well, I do it with the tree"
So the woman undresses and lies down spreading her legs and says: "How about a real woman instead?"
The guy replies: "Can't say no to that" and proceeds to give the woman a huge kicks between the legs.

"AAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOO" cries the woman "WHAT DO YOU DO THAT FOR??"
"Well, replied the man:"Gotta make sure there ain´t no squirrel inside"

duecesful · 10-06-2012, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alexander7179

a planes going down, they throw out all the bags to lighten the load. its still going down so the pilot get on the speaker and says, ok people are going to start having to jump out to save the rest, we'll do this the only fair way, alphabetically....first the A's...will all the africans come to the front of the plane....(no one gets up)....ok the B's...will all the blacks come to the front...(no one gets up)...ok the C's...will all the colored's come to the front...(no one gets up)... a little black boy turns to his mom and says "mom aren't we african, black, and colored?" the mother replies, "yes son, but today, we're ******s, and we're letting the mexicans die first!"

The Mexican turned to her and said "Nice try but today we're wet backs"

thebio123 · 10-16-2012, 03:42 AM

Mother, mother can I wear mini skirt?
Mom says no.
Can I wear earrings?
Mom says no.
Can I wear high heels?
I said no!
Can I wear lipstick?
No!
Why not I'm 18 already!
Mom: I know Denis I know!

raheem · 10-16-2012, 10:10 AM

Like srsly these are all **** unoriginal jokes and then when you try to post one anti-joke it gets deleted.