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I write jokes you guys might like

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03-26-2014 , 02:35 AM

JamesGreen

centurion

Join Date: Feb 2014 Posts: 184

hi guys
I write jokes on twitter
https://twitter.com/Jamesnou

with such classics as

http://favstar.fm/users/Jamesnou

I might not be the funniest but I kinda put my heart into my jokes and they are all original for whatever that's worth.

I hope you guys give them a read and they make you laugh

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03-26-2014 , 05:33 AM

lonely_but_rich

ɔarpal \ʇunnel

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 24,110

Quote:

Buddhas favorite kinda pizza is one with everything

Original and from the heart.

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03-26-2014 , 12:39 PM

JamesGreen

centurion

Join Date: Feb 2014 Posts: 184

Quote:

Originally Posted by lonely_but_rich

Original and from the heart.

I don't know if that isn't original because obviously on the entire Internet sometimes things are gonna be repeated by that came to me while I was eating pizza with my friend mike.

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03-26-2014 , 01:39 PM

PokerDharma

veteran

Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 2,212

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03-26-2014 , 02:00 PM

JamesGreen

centurion

Join Date: Feb 2014 Posts: 184

aww

well like I said

I don't usually bother to google my jokes because I usually have a pretty strong feeling of their originality.
of the 550 jokes I've written if 10 of them have been done before I'm pretty fine with that.

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03-26-2014 , 04:47 PM

Mexibastardhawk

adept

Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 803

I enjoyed reading them.

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03-26-2014 , 11:32 PM

JamesGreen

centurion

Join Date: Feb 2014 Posts: 184

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mexibastardhawk

I enjoyed reading them.

thanks man I really appreciate it

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03-26-2014 , 11:49 PM

El P

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 5,714

could you please give us a few sample jokes here before we click the link to twitter?

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03-27-2014 , 12:01 AM

EvilSteve

Midlife Crisis

Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 13,195

Quote:

Originally Posted by El P

could you please give us a few sample jokes here before we click the link to twitter?

I clicked the link for you!

Quote:

When people say "it's chilly in here" I say "no, Chile is in South America!" Haha people love me

Most antidepressants are probably just Oreos put in a pill press

Debbie Harry because Debbie doesn't shave

You're welcome.

Last edited by EvilSteve; 03-27-2014 at 12:06 AM. Reason: i'm glad nobody reads the nonsense i tweet

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03-27-2014 , 12:06 AM

#10

JamesGreen

centurion

Join Date: Feb 2014 Posts: 184

I don't see why not although I imagine it will turn some people off because I cant be sure which of the jokes are to their taste. also my most popular are on the second link.

Quote:

Picketing is a time of the signs

What idiot named them sluts instead of born loosers

All stunts are publicity stunts.

That homeless guy was pretty well dressed, no homeo

A ****** gets lucky, goes to college and becomes instrumental in major American history events in his lifetime [Forrest Gump/George W. Bush]

Man can no longer lie so he is unable to do his job (Liar Liar/The Nixon Presidency)

Coke users' obsession with power leads to violence (Scarface/George Bush Presidency)

*the NSA accidentally likes a picture from 54 weeks ago* dang it

1950s segregated pool sign "where the white swimmin' at"

Every machine is a suicide machine if you're not a pussy

My day was so awful I came to find out it was directed by Michael Bay.

There is an 80% chance that quote you posted from Marilyn Monroe wasn't actually her and a 100% chance it makes you sound like a whore

Today I realized flying cars are just small planes and now I don't care if I live to see the future

Thanks to googles stupid autocorrect I'll never know how many panthers are in Flo Rida

Oh you said SILVER bullet, I was wondering why you'd ask me to bring a blender to kill a werewolf

Tech guys are just monitor monitors

The Karate Kid really shows us the importance of student teacher ratios

A lot of middle aged guys are in the breast shape of their wife.

just some of the ones I liked that didn't get that much love. hope you guys enjoy.

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03-27-2014 , 12:08 AM

#11

JamesGreen

centurion

Join Date: Feb 2014 Posts: 184

Quote:

Originally Posted by EvilSteve

I clicked the link for you!

You're welcome.

heh I figured I could mention how easy it is to click it but I will also never pass up an opportunity to share the ones I actually liked.

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03-27-2014 , 01:42 AM

#12

El P

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 5,714

bit hit n miss man, which is to be expected i guess. quite liked '1950s segregated pool sign "where the white swimmin' at"'

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03-27-2014 , 03:01 AM

#13

fidstar-poker

I'm gonna need a hacksaw

Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 32,988

not bad. no official lols, but not too bad.

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03-27-2014 , 09:39 PM

#14

JamesGreen

centurion

Join Date: Feb 2014 Posts: 184

hey they can't all be winners

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03-28-2014 , 06:10 PM

#15

GutZ

adept

Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,074

and the converse is generally true

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03-28-2014 , 11:56 PM

#16

JamesGreen

centurion

Join Date: Feb 2014 Posts: 184

Quote:

Originally Posted by GutZ

and the converse is generally true

they can all be losers?

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03-29-2014 , 02:33 AM

#17

CrazyDiam0nd

old hand

Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 1,893

I like the marilyn monroe and the Flo Rida one. rest is all noise.

Last edited by CrazyDiam0nd; 03-29-2014 at 02:33 AM. Reason: op remember this, quality > quantity.

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03-29-2014 , 11:19 AM

#18

dex 1

adept

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 798

I didn't write this joke & I'm pretty critical of a lot of them. This is just one of those that struck me as pretty funny & they seldom do. Especially the comedians who think the dirtier the joke.....the funnier it is.

RIP - George Carlin
RIP - Bill Hicks

Two cannibals were eating a comedian, & one says to the other "Does this taste funny to you"?

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03-29-2014 , 07:45 PM

#19

GutZ

adept

Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,074

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamesGreen

they can all be losers?

You are sharper than I thought.

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04-01-2014 , 09:46 PM

#20

redtens

journeyman

Join Date: Oct 2012 Posts: 233

"I might not be the funniest"

quoted for truth.

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04-02-2014 , 05:29 AM

#21

Bloobird

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 24,250

Thread title is misleading.

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04-02-2014 , 09:05 AM

#22

almondpoop

newbie

Join Date: Dec 2013 Posts: 15

I don't get like, >90% of these.

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04-07-2014 , 03:31 PM

#23

Phresh

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 10,108

1950s segregated pool sign "where the white swimmin' at"

That's the only funny one.

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