Most of us cant either probably. It's like in poker: stop playing when on tilt, if someone isnt on tilt, he probably gives you this advice every single time, but if he is the same situation, chances are high that he keeps playing as well.

But yeah, try to get over it asap.

You mean a doctor is his own worst patient?

Bwa.

But yeah, most can't flip a switch. Cut her off. I've cut A and B off. Solidarity, brother.

That said a few of the guys here and I are planning a gentleman's night out this weekend where we are all dressing "fly" and hitting a club/location way off the beaten path of the usual law student-frequented establishments. Not bringing any of the lawl girls with us. We'd like to meet new people.

Are we just Romo or is this an awesome idea?

icwudt

i'd invite girls. ones that are in between friends and a possible drunk hookup. should be pretty obvious why

I've been following this thread for a while, and have to say it is one of my all time favorites on 2p2.

I have a situation coming up tomorrow, and although I'm pretty confident that I'll be able to handle myself correctly, I figure it couldn't hurt to get perspective from this thread:


A girl I knew back in junior high moved to the city I'm currently going to school in (San Diego). We haven't talked in years, but she friended me on facebook a month or two ago and we have chatted occasionally online and have talked about hanging out. The conversations have been casual and friendly.

Last Friday I was talking to her online and we decided that we would hang out next friday (tomorrow). The plan is to meet up at her place (which is by the beach), hang out/smoke (not tobacco), and then maybe go to the beach and get coffee.

I am interested in this girl. We have a similar outlook on the topics we've discussed and a pretty similar lifestyle. I particularly like the fact that she does not know any of my friends down here, and I can avoid drama and nosy friends getting involved in the situation, which will take a lot of the usual pressure off.

This girl and I were never particularly close in junior high. She has been initiating conversations on facebook semi-frequently (~1-2 times a week), and I will occasionally (~1 time a week), always with some context for starting the conversation (not just "hi how are you").

I would like to avoid the friend zone, as honestly I have enough female friends right now and am not looking for another one at the moment. What should I do while we hang out tomorrow to prevent that from happening? I don't want to come across as a sleezebag, but would like to smoothly transition the conversation/situation into a physical relationship if possible. Is tomorrow, at her house, the time to do it?

Yeah but what I am saying is, should I do something besides a dinner?

do something fun like mini golf or Wii or some thing. Doing activities is much easier if you're not in HS since you could go back to her apartment/your apartment/dorm, but you have to deal with parents, lol

It really is a pain in the ass that I now have two plans in place to see her on Friday and Sunday night. I could bitch out on the Friday one, but after the exchange at dinner the other night...
(playful tone for all of this)
Me: Fine, fine. I'll be there.
Her: You'd better be. You can't back out now.
Me: Do I ever fail to live up to my word?

Meh, I've just gotta suck it up and go. There will be a ton of people there. I'll just say hi to her briefly and then move onto socializing with others until I'm tired of it.

Super Bowl party at my place is obviously inescapable, but again, at least that's a group function.

In any case, starting "cut her off" with a weekend like this is not exactly plausible. I'll truly cut her off come Monday. You know, except for that pesky detail where I have class with her four days a week. Seriously wish that wasn't the case now. It's going to force me to talk to her on those days, isn't exactly conducive to a total detach. Oh well. I really will follow the "cut her off" thing as well as I possibly can. And if I feel like I'm significantly wavering, I'll post to this thread to take a beating for it.

lol i know. Since we are young i think it's tough to find things, b/c usually everything with a drink or 2 becomes 10x funner. I think I'll take her out to dinner, and go bowling after? nothing wrong with that right, also TR to come, should be saturday night, or even tomorrow.

I havn't texted her yet, deciding on whether to text her now, or talk to her if I see her tomorrow.

call her

"we are going to dinner at [place] ill pick you up at [this time]"


then if dinner is good, conversation is good, invite her back to your place for a movie, or idk, ask her if she wants to do something else?

what a ****ing shocker amirite? jesus christ. you have no hope anyway so anything we tell you is a waste, tbh.

no, I havnt been told any information yet about this. All I was told was just ****ing ask her and do what you want. That was no help.

I repeat: HELP YOURSELF, YOU SNIVELING LITTLE SON OF A *****.

I'm done being amused by this train wreck.

LKJ why are u tripping if you're around her at party. it's not like you just called off getting married and are now socializing in the same group

you sure do like bowling.

With the Friday one, I never wanted to go to begin with and allowed her to talk me into it a few nights ago. It looks uninteresting. I wasn't planning on going.

With both weekend functions though, I'm simply saying that it runs contrary to "I'm cutting her off" to then spend two evenings of my weekend with her. That's all. It's not like it's going to be emotionally traumatic for me. I'll be fine. I just won't be accomplishing what I'm setting out to do, which is to separate myself from the situation entirely.

Haha +1.

LKJ i wouldn't seperate myself entirely from anyone. i just wouldn't pursue it anymore and let her do all the work, but whatever.

i just got officially asked to do something on valentines day... from the wrong girl. the girl that did is cute and i plan on hitting it but i was trying to setup dinner with i guess my "A" that is pretty much perfect but throws herself to much into her school and family. she has like no interest in dating at this point and has never had a serious bf.

here's what i guess "B" said:
"well i was thinking, maybe it's about time i step it up a little bit, so give me something you would like to do, if you would like to, and i'll make it happen"

what should i say? she basically initiated step 1 in turning this into a relationship. i don't want a relationship but i'm ok with hanging out on valentines day and getting her something. i don't really want to go to dinner or anything with her though

let her do all the work, she ain't done **** in months she ain't gonna start now, he is mega friends with her

To be clear, I won't be separated from her at all really, I have a class where I sit right next to her (fixed on a seating chart) four times a week. And obviously I'll see her around a bunch.

As far as "letting her do all the work" goes, that's what I was doing at the end of last semester...she kept contacting me to do stuff, but obviously was just after the friendship thing. And I already answered above that flipping a switch and just considering her a friend is nothing I can really do very quickly. As I said, I envy you since it sounds like you're able to.

She will get a hold of me when she needs her attention fix.

To be fair, I make it sound more malicious than it is when I say it that way, because I'm sure her self-centeredness is buried underneath the surface and isn't anything she's aware of.

But in any case, she has repeatedly kept this thing going when I've tried to give up. This time it's time to start making phony excuses and declining invitations.

LKJ, you said it was going to be tough to detach from you girl since you will see her in class all the time.

I'm kinda in the process of this right now. I've pretty much stopped saying hi to her or even making an effort to sit next to her. She's now the one to say hi and initiate a conversation and now she is the one who makes all the effort to sit next to me. Does it make it easier to see her as a friend? Not really, but it goes a long way in keeping you from feeling like her lapdog. Plus, it shows her you aren't infatuated with her.

Eckstein, you just have to read your situation well. First, start flirting, but you need to see how she responds to you. If she flirts back, keep going, if she shuts you down, she shuts you down.

Yeah, this class has a seating chart so I'm anchored next to her all semester without a choice in the matter.

Since such close proximity is completely inevitable, not saying hi at all would be pretty awkward when we first see each other, but I won't initiate further conversation or anything, I'll make her do all of that.

def don't make small talk, hello is okay, but if she starts asking about how your weekend was I would respond with something like, "fine" or "okay". no details.

Well, I can't map out the details of every conversation in advance, I'm not toomanyletters, but I hear what you're saying.