HOW THE **** DID NOTHING HAPPEN AFTER THE DINNER

AHHHHH WHEN I SAW THE WHOLE PREMISE FOLLOWED BY A WALL OF TEXT I WAS LIKE HOLY **** SLAM DUNK HE'S GOT IT BOOOYAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

BIRTHDAY + OTHER COUPLES + BOOZE + FOOD + DRESSED NICE + HER ACTING LIKE A GF = WINNNNNNNNNNNNN

THIS IS SO EZ GAME. JUST STOP WITH THE ****ING MOVIES. OUT. WARM ATMOSPHERE. COZY. INTIMATE BAR. DRINKS. DANCING (MAYBE). YOUR HOUSE.

i honestly didnt mean to write that entire post in caps (well i did but now i want to turn them off), but i typed it out and now i cant undo it so... deal.

BUT WHAT DO I KNOW CAUSE I JUST GO TO SCHOOL EVERY DAY AND LET GIRLS WITH THE NAMES A AND B (WHO THE **** NAMES THEIR KID A OR B) TAKE MY HEAD AND SMASH IT POLITELY AGAINST A SPIKY BRICK WALL

BOOOOOOOOOOOOM KARAK'S LOST IT AND I HAVENT EVEN BEEN DRINKING

I was never one-on-one with her at any point. Not for one second. She was about the fourth one to join the group en route to leave, and the entire group left my apartment afterward at the same time. That's how nothing happened after dinner. On this particular night, I did absolutely nothing wrong.

And as to the movie tomorrow, that plan had already been made. It's the hand I've been dealt right now. I'm trying to play it.

(And honestly, no cozy intimate bars exist in this town. If they do, I truly don't know about them. Trust me, I want one to exist. It really does hamper things.)

that just cant be true

there has to be a nice restaurant or a hotel or something

There are a couple of nice-ish restaurants. We were at one of the only ones for birthday dinner last night. It would be strange to say, "Hey, let's go back there." I could try to get her to an Italian place that's pretty nice and has the right vibe. With that said, we did dinner a week ago at a casual place (just the two of us), we did casual group dinner last night, it would be weird to ask her to do dinner again at a nice place tomorrow night I think. Too quick. Plus it's a lot more awkward to change plans than to make new plans there.

I've got no problem asking her to that Italian place next week, but that doesn't seem like a viable play for tomorrow night.

LKJ, if you want to go with the "just kiss her" approach, why not go for the cheek? It displays a strong interest but is not so strong a move that it might scare her off (being that you say she is conservative). There are also more acceptable moments/opportunities for a kiss on the cheek. Basically, it will get your point across without as much risk as going for a kiss on the lips.

Yeah that's a fair point Chaosti, I've thought about that and will consider it.

Adding onto my last post, the reason I'm saying "next week" instead of sooner is because, as I said, Friday night and Sunday night are now booked. She mentioned going on a day trip with some other girls this Saturday. So the whole weekend is spoken for.

Get close to her. Start teasing her. Get her to tease you back. Tease back and forth and back and forth until you are nose to nose. Stop talking. There will be that moment.

something like that

you can even say (and i've used this before) "I'm going to kiss you now" if you need to soften the blow

don't say "can i kiss you now" just tell her you are going to

TR on the last time I used that line (we were in a bed together cuddling):

"I'm going to kiss you now." we are nose to nose.
"No. Don't. I don't think that's a good idea."
"Ok. Goodnight then." and I roll to the other side of the bed
She rolls back "where are you going?" and I wrap my arms around her, she angles my face towards hers and kisses me. Rest is history.

ugh. she comes over tomorrow.
you: ive been here studying/cleaning/masturbating/reading 2+2 cause i dont know what to do to get you to touch my wiener all day.
her: awww poor baby, im so sorry (pouty face)
you: whatdya say me and you get outta this place
her: do me now!

Well if we're going to post TR's: I was at a birthday party and ended up hanging out with/flirting with a friend of a friend (I had only briefly met her a few days earlier). We end up on a couch talking with my arm around her. I go for the kiss on the cheek and leave it at that. Three days later, we are going out. Two years and 8 months later still going strong. /end brag I realize that all girls are wired differently, but with a more conservative girl, the confident polite approach works very well. You come off as a nice guy but not a pushover.

I still think this is harder to pull off in a platonic situation like mine (I mean, I've closed in and kissed girls at the end of dates), but in any case this post is useful. Thank you.

EDIT: Anyway, going to bed now, so no posts for me for a good while. Thanks everyone who gave input.

EDIT2: And if there is no late night post tomorrow, you can safely assume that it was another worthless and platonic night. Sorry that my failed evenings don't end in ALL CAPS rage-a-thons. It would seem contrived if I did it too.

i hate you

update:

Haven't talked to C since last update. Don't really care much.

Sunday texted A asking what her plans were for the day, she said she was busy working. A couple hours later she texts me saying "I'm free til chapter at 5 wanna hang out? (at about 4:15). I reply, "lol for half an hour?" She says fine and that's that.

Yesterday she texts me around 3, "Hey got out of my studio early! Wanna hang out?" I was on my way to the gym and told her that I couldn't cuz of this. Texted her later on but she was busy working. However she did say that her class the following afternoon was cancelled.

Today I got out of class at 3, texted her "Decided I don't wanna get my pic taken (was supposed to get yearbook photo, it was flurrying, I had to dress up...f that), let's hang out!" She agreed after a bit more work, picked her up at 4ish. Came back and hung out at my place, watched some TV and Youtube videos lying on my bed (on top of covers). Put my hand on her leg and lied close to her, at some point she started reciprocating a bit with the getting close (!) . Convo was good as usual. After a while she said she was getting hungry and we ended up going to a place downtown that's known for good burgers and beer selection. Burgers didn't disappoint.

Drove her back to her house after. Actually thought I was dropping her off on campus, then when I started to slow down to turn she said "No my apartment, I need some coffee." Drove back to her place, she was carrying leftovers and had a bunch of her books in the back. I asked her if she wanted some help with the books, she said that'd be great. Left my car running and illegally parked (lol) and walked her in, joked that I hoped my car wouldn't get stolen. I asked where to put her books, and after I put them down on the table and started to say goodbye....I just went for it. I thought there were a few decent signals earlier in the night, some of the stuff I mentioned as well as the way we walked when going to/from dinner, plus her not even attempting to pay for her half, and when I got out of the car I wasn't 100% sure what I was going to do, I wasn't even thinking about it really, I just kind of instinctually decided it. And....she reciprocated. For about 20 seconds. Wooooo

Left pretty quickly after given that my car was ripe for the picking outside. Obviously I think it's looking great though. Not looking forward to dealing with the potential craziness of C when she hears about this though haha. Anyway, glad I finally just manned up, thanks for all your help guys!

Not that I'm an expert or anything, but a kiss on the cheek is weaksauce. Even for this chick.

I don't think any girl would like that. She'll think that either a) you are not into her that b) you are a p*ssy and cannot muster up enough courage to actually do it. Based on your situation, she's clearly going to think you don't have the balls.

Karak, I sympathize with you having to see them everyday. I see the girl who I made a move on last semester every f*cking day. That very fact kept me from manning up and making a move before she got a boyfriend. At the end of the day, its not a big deal. Yeah, I'd probably rather not see her but I don't feel uncomfortable about it. Our friendship is still in tact and she still acts the same way around me.

LKJ locking arms would have been a hideously good idea on your formal dinner night. It's one of those moves that is couple-ish but is also perfectly acceptable as just friends in certain contexts such as this one. But since your goal is to move physically in the direction of being a couple while not freaking her out, this would have been ideal. Anyways, try it next time and make a judgement call.

Kiss on the cheek is also a good idea.

I'd say go the route with the Italian place. If it's going anywhere decent, offer her your arm on the way back. If she accepts that, keep that up as you walk back wherever you are going and then when you get back she'll go for the hug. That's fine. Hug her, kiss her on the cheek. Say "I had a really good time tonight" or whatever similar line.

This will tell her everything she needs to know, and if she's even slightly interested as more than a friend she'll let you know the next time you see her.

How do I know this works? I used it on accident once.

If she's conservative and you've previously been platonic it is waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy superior to going straight for the kill.

This is exactly what LKJ needs to do. With the stuff on the bed you probed for information, and got a positive response. You didn't do anything overtly forward, but it was enough that told you what you needed to know.

Heartily disagree, but I may be biased/results oriented in that the kiss on the cheek worked out for me. If she is really into him, a kiss (on cheek or lips) will be more than enough, probably. However, he describes her as somewhat conservative, and there doesn't seem to be an excess of physical affection or flirting to indicate how comfortable she would be with a strong move physically. Going for the kiss on the lips can backfire if she feels that that is too forward. Kiss on the cheek is a good middle ground especially when their current platonic relationship does not seem to be especially touchy feely.


To Stinger, good work dude. Hope all continues to go well with A.

Yeah I see what you all are saying. I've never done the cheek thing myself so I can't vouch for it. I guess its become my instinct to go for the ballsy play when in doubt.

@ Stinger

Stinger, you should have turned the car off lol. Congrats and hopefully things are easier from here on in.

well stinger, its about time something went your way.
lol nice job bro.

LKJ. If you can't find any intimate settings in town, you should try making your own. I live kinda close to the beach so going to the beach at night with a bottle of champagne and a blanket is the easy play here. You could do a night picnic. When it's a full moon out, get some champagne and go out to a field with a couple of blankets and some light food. Just don't forget the champagne, and it doesn't have to be overly expensive Chandon is nice and it's like 18$.


Also... THIS
Go big or go home

Did you see his December? =)