GoCubsGo

I don't use public transportation and I don't wait in lines for food. That being said I don't think you should be approaching girls in those situations unless they initiate or at least strongly signal in a clear way. Hot girls get bothered all the time and they find it annoying.

With respect to concerts I have never been to a concert without a date. A close proximity to a concert that happened recently was Deadmau5 outdoors. I went with my GF but because the converted parking lot lacked facilities going to the bathroom took her a little under an hour. By the time she came back a 20-22 year old from Montreal was trying to pick me up. Not sure how you would classify that since it was a concert like setting / situation but club music.

I am pretty sure they'd rather be bothered 24/7 than never. And I dont think your assumption is correct, what is this based on?

Based on this argument the implication is that girls should be as sexually attracted to a given guy regardless of what behaviour he choose to engages in. So if a guy rents a movie and has a boring night in with a girl or if he takes her on an exciting date she should at the end of the night have the same level of sexual attraction. If you believe this then you will have problems dating.

Not at all. I can point to specific girls who I would classify the way you do. My objection is to the attempt to universalize something that is actually the tiny minority. There are girls who are just looking to exploit and they bring value in a different way but for the most part having fun causes something like the halo effect. This is true in all kinds of relationships and it isn't the exploitative nefarious thing you hope to make it.

This is a sad statement on yourself more than anything else. It is also a version of the is she is hot she must be stupid coping mechanism. Also the failure of some successful poker players to get laid should serve as a good example of why you are wrong.

Someone mentioned you are 19. You'll grow out of this romanticized view of Real Me love eventually. You should have already.

I see a lot more pressure on my average wealth friends to get married than I do on my wealthy friends. I have a theory for that but too long to get into here the important point is that your idea of reality and actual reality don't match up.

Women who put themselves into bad positions will stay with a man and overlook things because of money. That is because they have no other options. Hot young girls do so the idea that they have to put up with someone who is distasteful to them because they want a free ride is absurd. If they are actually hot they have plenty of other options for that.

GF (present and past) as well as female friends bitching about it. My GF actually has to avoid certain businesses close to her business and drive further because if she goes to the closer options there are guys who works there that just pop up and try to run horrible game on her. So now she drives an extra twenty minutes each way to avoid it. I have a friend who works at a hair salon front desk in a mall and she has at least one guy a day and usually more come up and just start chatting her up. I was pivy to one of these conversations and it is painfully bad how clueless they are but she has to be nice to them. It is the thing she hates most about her job.

While I'm not saying all on the street contact is bad the risk of it being so are pretty high. You know nothing about what the girl's day is like and what mood she is in. You have no idea what kind of time constraints or other stress she is under. Why risk that you might be one of these guys who makes her day worse when we already have socially designated places for people to go to meet each other?

From what I have read of this thread, I'd say Henry seems to give the most constructive advice. Good job sir.

First of all, you might never have the chance to meet her again. You lose nothing by talking to her.
And if hot girls hate to be hit on, why would they like it in a club setting?

So what? You know nothing about her. You have no reason to think she is any more special than any of the other hot girls out there. Why would speaking to this particular unknown girl matter when there are a half dozen just like her at a patio down the street?

I don't mind getting hit when playing hockey but if someone came and just body-checked me on the street I'd be pretty pissed. In a licensed venue setting you have basically signaled that you are there to be social. On the street you have signaled that you have somewhere to go and something to do.

It doesn't help that the majority of guys doing this are socially awkward. I'm not saying that no guy should ever talk to a girl while going about their day but that it should be mindful of the setting and with her green lighting it. Most guys suck at reading signals (look at the recent OOT Outback Waitress topic) so they shouldn't do it. Even for guys who are better at reading situations why take the risk when you have a risk free option?

Why are you so risk-averse? And why cant you talk to girls on the street and in the patio down the street?

I dont agree with this at all. I dont understand why a social venue should be the only place to meet people. Just because it is unusual to meet people on the street, doesnt make it a place to avoid strangers.

I agree with the first part. But those people come off as creepy at every place, even social venues.
Why does it have to be mutually exclusive?

Your logic/reasoning is contradicted by the fact that a lot of people meet their partners at their workplace.

I do think, people shouldnt be day gaming or go out on the street just to chat up girls, but never talking to people on the street (I know you didnt say that) will make you socially awkward, not the other way round.

from hearing girls talk about this on more than once occasion i can say this : they don't mind getting approached by great looking men. They actually want them to approach and for the losers not to approach. The problem is that most of the guys that do this are doing it out of desperation because they have few prospects or 0 prospects like Henry17 said, and are 99% to be not great looking. So i think if you are great looking, dress well, then there are all kindz of situations where it can be appropriate. Furthermore, even if you go out twice a week most of the clubs/bars are loud and the girls are usually drunk ( so are you) so Its not always a great environment. 5 out of 7 is too much just to wait around and act with prudence.

I should probably just let Henry answer for himself, but I'm pretty sure he's arguing that it's a ****** position to put a woman in, not that he cares about getting rejected sometimes.

What is your point?

From hearing companies talk about this on more than one occasion, I can say this: They dont mind getting application from great candidates. They actually want them to apply and for the losers not to apply. bla bla bla
So people shouldnt apply for jobs.

What you say is true for everyone, no one wants to deal with unpleasant stuff, but it's part of life.

Your club description is just plain wrong. If you dont approach strangers in clubs, where do you approach? Do you think clubs are places for people to get drunk?

Which would be even worse.

Henry has stated numerous times that he doesnt want to look bad. So I think getting rejected is a pretty big deal for him.

it was a small point. Girls want to be approached by great looking men only in non-standard situations.

Also I think your english needs some work because I never said "don't approach hot girls in clubs". I said it's not always the best situation to continue something after the night because you were both drunk... sometimes there can be friends that will cockblock you etc. Some of the negatives that exist in clubs don't exist in non-standard situations and vica versa.

...if this means you think most guys should approach any girl they want because hot girls should have to take on a huge burdenfor penalty for being hot youre ****ed.

Localization -- I can't be in two places at once.

That isn't what I said. I said approaching women. If a women wants to be approached she'll make it quite clear. The problem is that guys are going up to random women who have not given any indication that they are open to being approached.

The girl is not in a situation where she is trapped or required to be nice. She has bouncers she can call on. It is part of the deal when you go to these places. You at least know she is in a social mood.

There is a difference between talking to and trying to pick up. I'll exchange pleasantries with anyone but quick and disengage. If I see them again in a social setting they might look familiar or we might not even remember each other but I'm at neutral or positive impression. Compare that to a few weeks back my GF let a guy go ahead of her in line because he only had a few items -- that led to him seeing that as an invitation to ask her to go go-karking and then getting abrasive when she said she no thanks. The way to play meeting people on the street is just to be nice, make a good impression, but never try to actually close unless the interaction is extensive. The value is in having all these people circulating who somewhat remember you at some level and that they had a positive opinion. The last thing you want is a bunch of people circulating saying oh I remember that guy I made room for him on the bus and he took that as an opening to hit on me and try to ask me out.

Yes. Mostly it is about making the women's day worse by just being another possible annoyance. It is also for selfish reasons. Not because I care about rejection but because I don't want a reputation for being either desperate or a creep.

@ Henry17,

thats the whole point of day game, We dont care if she wants to be approached or not, Becaues we know when we approach her she will feel bettter about her day since she has now discussed it with someone.

No. I know a lot of hot girls and not one feels this way.

Spurious, I dont always agree 100% with Henry's advice but hes pretty spot on here.

When you brought up a work setting as an argument that is totally different. You wouldnt go in on your first day of work and hit on girls who youve never met before while they are in a cubicle or something. Work relationships come from interacting with the person over time and doing activities outside the office in social settings.

When girls are in clubs they are in a social mood. They are almost always not alone and therefore more comfortable (they have protection and a way out if necessary). On the street there could be a million factors that contribute to why she wouldnt want to talk to you and why you would be considered a nuisance. Usually they are alone, meaning their defenses will be up.

It mostly comes down to the ability to read body language. If I were waiting forever in a line at a store and there was a hot chick behind me maybe I would say something like "Can you believe this? Its ridiculous". However if she just laughs or doesnt initiate further convo I would just turn around. Im not going to then use that as an opening to hit on her, if that makes sense.

I think Spurious' argument as to approaching girls on the street/in other non-social gathering places is: why not? What's the worst that can happen? I get rejected? So what?

And I don't see an issue with that.

This is exactly what i was thinking.

Getting rejected isn't the worst that can happen. The worst that can happen is getting a reputation for being desperate.

Yeah I'm sure all the rando girls I'll never see again in my life in a city of millions are going to run and gossip that some guy came up to chat with them today. I talk to random dudes on the street too if they are wearing a sports jersey I find interesting or I overhear something funny. Am I getting a reputation for being desperate with dudes too?

I still dont get the point you are trying to make.
Obviously things can go wrong.

So you are saying hot girls should always get what they want?
Ask hot girls if they would trade their looks for not being annoyed by all kinds of guys all the time, ergo turn ugly, who would seriously consider this?

Cant argue with that. It's also irrelevant.

This is not my problem. When I approach a girl, I know I am differnt than every other guy. Do you really think her day is ruined by an approach of an otherwise awesome man?

You make it look like speaking to strangers in a daily setting is the equivalent of sexual harassment.

As I said, I am not day gaming and I agree that being pushy in such a setting is stupid and makes you look like a creep.
But when I strike up a conversation with someone and it looks like it's leading somewhere, I would obviously close.
Furthermore would I not avoid conversation, like you seem to do.

Your obsession with other's opinion on you is very weird. Your standard advice for people is to only care about what the respective peer group thinks, but your own standards are different.
If you havent seen that girl ever before, a) chances are slim you'll see her again and b) she probably wont tell any person in your peer group about it, so it shouldnt really matter.
And if she sees you again in a club setting, you'll be balling out of control and rather than talking bad about you, she will try to initiate conversation with you again.

Dont bring daygaming into this.

This obviously depends on who the guy is. When girls talk about this, the bias in their opinion is not measureable, they will obviously only remember the bad attempts unless they are currently involved with someone who she met this way.

The time frame is differnt, but that's because you got WORK to do.
If you came into the workplace and had 0 work, would be sitting in the cafeteria the whole time, would it really take longer? No, it wouldnt.

As I said, I am not going to talk to the girl further if she acts uninterested.

In a nut-shell.

Spurious

I think we are talking about different things. Floating one balloon and seeing if she takes it is fine. That isn't what most guys do. Most guys put the initial opening out there and when the girl ignores it they double and triple their efforts.

Karak

I think you are greatly underestimating how small a city that has a couple of million people is. Everyone is connected to everyone else. You have been fairly transient because of school but spend a few years in one location while having an active social life and you'll see how small even big cities actually are.

We are not talking about normal people, we are talking about you and me. Just because people suck at it, doesnt mean you shouldnt try it. I dont care whether or not you do it, your reasoning for it is way off though.

I still dont see how this affects you and if it's true what you are saying, you should have an awesome reputation already, hence talking to girls in a non-club setting is even easier for you, since she already knows you are a baller.

I can't believe I am going to defend daygaming, but I do know girls who are quite flattered to be complimented. That being said, they only like it from guys who are not creepy, socially maladjusted. And I doubt they would want it to happen every day from multiple guys, but having it randomly happen once a month is not bad.


Overall the whole concept of approaching any hot girl you see in public and hitting on her is quite repulsive. But throwing out a compliment to some woman in line at the checkout counter, or a quick conversation in a natural setting can actually make a woman's day. But stopping her in the middle of the mall while shopping to compliment her can be a little awkward and creepy.