I think those power games can be important, but from what you described of your situation (particularly at that party), it doesn't seem like you have a lot to worry about. As described in this thread, you seem to have a healthy power balance.

I think you're probably doing it right. I just started talking to this girl a little bit ago. I contact her mostly through text, she hits me up mostly through facebook. It works.

Just tell her you party with Karak and the panties will insta-drop imo

lol i dont think karak likes her very much after the whole karak's roommate situation

Not to sound stalkerish, but where are you guys from? You both seem pretty chill and fun to go out drinking with. PM if you don't want to make it super public -- I'm just confused by his NYY and your Cowboys avatars.

How does it become official? Should you ask will you be my girlfriend, or should it come naturally..

I always said it just comes naturally, but some friends disagree.

hook up long enough and youll have the "define the relationship" talk

if you both want to date, thats when itll happen

And until then, all of your friends (especially your roommate) will ask you when it's going to be official.

ugonnagetraped

tilt

last night i was out with a friend, his gf, and her roommate. on the way back home i say "you should spend the night". she responded with "you have to many ppl always at your house". i didn't think much of it and brushed it off because she seemed like the type of girl that puts up a wall and no matter how much she wanted to she would deny me the first night.

i get a call from my friend today and he says the girl said two things would have gotten me laid. her having one more drink and if i would have told her she's spending the night instead of saying "you should...".

i'm not really comfortable being the overly confident arrogant type but i did try it the week before saying "you know were hooking up tonight right?", on someone and got denied so ya.

anyways more TR's plz

first, im currently posting from the borgata lobby taking a break from 10-20 poofling (ran down 100, then up 500, then down 350 all in the span of like 90 minutes. LOLimit)

if any of you are in AC and want to grab a drink or just say what's up in the card room, let me know.

we discussed this IRL and it's something ive been wondering about lately too. i really get tilted with the chick on the other side of the convo cuts it off. i have like 4-5 girls i text consistently, and only 1 or 2 of them often initiate it. i usually initiate with the other two. one girl i know for SURE is very aware of who starts and stops the convo, but she's weird and naturally plays power games. the others i think just dont give a ****.

i dont mind her. im a little bit wary because of what happened, but now that im getting the other side of the story that's waning (the "they werent really dating" part). however ive never really had any other issue with her. she was always pretty quiet around me, so i dont know her too well, but she seems nice. i just wonder if she's capable of committing to an exclusive relationship is all. only one way to find out...

we both go to school in VA. im originally from NY. yeotajmu is originally from VA and is a fan of the yankees, cowboys and lakers. consider that for a momnt.

i'd always lead into it with "you will" rather than "you should." be playful and not forceful though. i messed up a situation like this recently. told a girl she should stay the night at my house since it was snowing. she did the usual hem-and-haw "i dunno maybe it's a good idea" routine (that's a girl's way of getting you to convince her into it so the hoe-alarm doesnt go off)... but party in the USA came on the stereo at the party (party was at my house) and i disappeared because dancing to miley cyrus is awesome. by time i returned her friends had convinced her to leave. she even said to me the next day "i really should have stayed..." oh well. would have created an awk situation anyways since another former love interest ended up getting stranded at my place for the night.

also yeota almost certainly has better natural ability IRL with chicks than i do so he'll do just fine hahaha

once he loses his next 20-30 lbs assuming he's single he's going to be unstoppable imo

ive been wondering the same thing

i dont think this is necessarily true with all girls, it depends.

this x10000

lol thank you

and yeah im from NOVA and go to school at JMU (obv). im also not a lakers fan ffs.

Sheesh Karak, if you just made that part up he should beat the hell out of you. I instantly thought way less of him until I got to his reply.

You know how DVD's have commentary?

In summary, play on, playa

i don't understand the "you will..." thing. "you will stay the night" sounds outlandish, and impossible to not be forceful with. maybe I'm missing something?

So...I think I posted earlier itt about the girl who I met at my hockey team's rookie kegger, took out to dinner, made no attempt to become friends with but then she said she wanted to be friends anyways cause she "didn't know what she wanted out of this." I basically stopped talking to her for a while, didn't care.

She was gonna be up at the same ski resort my buddies and I went to for New Year's but then had to leave to work an event (she does corporate catering). She texted me to let me know that and apologize for not being there - I really didn't care one way or another, wasn't even sure if I was gonna drop her a line while I was up there. Anyways, I texted her back and told her we'd just have to get that drink back at campus. She responds immediately with yes, yada yada etc. Driving back home on Saturday, we're exchanging texts for a good 45 minutes.

Any potential here or is there no point even getting my hopes up?

Use the force ldo

its not like..."you WILL stay the night, or else"

its more like..."stay the night" and if she has some dumb excuse, just tell her that excuse is dumb, and that she should stay the night.

ya in retrospect i should have just said that's a dumb excuse and half-laughed.

I've been in touch with a girl over the last month or so after asking her out at the end of last semester. We've been messaging back and forth since then but haven't hung out in person yet due to exams and christmas break and such. I messaged her today with something along the lines of "Let's get together sometime this week. I'm planning on going to open mic on Wednesday if that's your scene. If not that, I'm going to [location] to see my friend doug and his friends' band play a gig thursday night if you're interested in that. (and then said other stuff that isn't so much on topic.)" She answered back with "Oh I'd get all cranky if I went to open mic. way too busy for me. Let's check out your friends' concert tho."

Now for the Q and A-
1) I drink fairly heavily. If she's not a bar person then there could obv be some kind of effect, but is this ever really a deal-breaker?
2) this concert my buddy is having costs $3. pay her way or no? if it was dinner or w/e then I most likely wouldn't pay, but this is a $3 event that I invited her to.
3) is a 1-on-1 thing better here, or should we hang out with my other friends who are also going? Most/all of these friends are also girls if that makes a difference.
4) Ideally I'm looking for a spot as far from the band as possible, where we can talk as opposed to actually paying attention to the band, right? When I suggest we go see this band, she's not expecting that we actually go to listen to the band, right?

1. Just dont get belligerent and you will be fine.
2. Its 3$. Kinda judge the situation when you get there. If she just goes ahead and pays, let her do it, if she seems like she wants you to pay, just pay. If you arent sure, just pay.
3. 1-1 is better, but its not like you can just awkwardly avoid your friends all night. You are gonna have to introduce them to her, maybe go find somewhere to talk after.
4. yes

1. Have a few drinks to get you on your game but don't get out of control.
2. Pay it. Not so much because paying it makes you look like a gentleman but just because not paying it makes you look like a huge dousche.
3. 1-1 is way better in this scenario.
4. Yes, get a spot where you can talk.

so end of last semester there was a girl who i sort of knew via mutual friends who i feel is into me. i'd met her maybe 4-5 times, always at relatively large group things. new semester starts next week, i feel like it won't be too difficult to get events together where she'll be present but i have no idea how to go from large group things to asking her out. i don't have her phone number but am friends on facebook with her, though it seems weird to try to do anything on facebook without knowing her better first. is there any good way to transition from mutual friend in groups to asking out without being really awkward/creepy?

if she's actually in to you then i doubt she'll think it's creepy if you do facebook or w/e.

1. just don't get drunk as someone else said
2. pay unless she beats you to it. don't mention anything of it or say any lines like "dont worry i got this". just pay and walk in
3. introducing her to your girl friends is usually always a positive. she sees that you are accepted by girls and can hangout with them
4. just like poker "it depends". in general though yes.

how old are you? what kind of group events are u talking about?
i think everyone should post their age and what they want to accomplish with the girl (one night stand, dating). for some reason i want to say that your a senior in college? if you just want to hookup there's no reason to hangout one on one. going to a group event then back to someones house for a mini after party makes it pretty easy to hookup.