ilm,

"You can't really consciously make yourself not overanalyze stuff you know?"

No, you really CAN do it.

I know this because I used to do that way too much as well. I am sure there is big selection bias on 2p2 for obvious reasons towards people who are v logical, rational, analytical minded and like to problem solve and make plans and blah blah blah. And also probably a fair amount of bias towards control freaks.

However, trying to plan and control what are largely/primarily emotional-based relationships is often very hard, if not impossible, and usually ends up being super frustrating.

So, how do you get past it? Acknowledge that in the end, big picture-wise, it's either going to work out or it's not, based on who you are as a person and how you act, and by that I mean how you act in just the normal course of things. So no amt of planning, rules, processes, procedures, actions, etc is likely to change that. Trying to think too much about this stuff and/or script out the process is more likely to just screw up the natural flow of the relationship and/or make you feel too stressed/pressured about things.

So, once you are comfortable with who you are as a person and accept that either you and the other person are going to either click or not, you've gotten past the first big hurdle.

Once you're past that hurdle and have stopped analyzing the whole process and worrying way too early about all sorts of serious/long-term/future/compatibility/whatever/stuff, you can instead focus on simpler things to control like deciding awesome/fun things to do together. And figuring out ways to be more awesome in general as the relationship progresses so you displayed yourself in the most positive way as the bigger picture questions naturally sort themselves out.

Tbh, I think being promiscuous/having a lot of things going on at once will also help dull a natural predilection towards over-analysis. That said, it's not for everyone.

I also am one of the people who overanalyze anything.

I'm partly getting over it, but I think people that do overanalyze things will always tend to lapse back into the habit, even if we work out of it.
And if we lose it as a whole, I feel like it'd be a part of who we are, being lost

This 100% IMO. If I have >1 girl I'm involved with (or chasing/whatever), I do way better than if I have only 1.

And El D, thanks. I'll give it a rip.

this thread sucks, someone post a tr please, preferbly gg.

This is basically the same advice you gave me (I think it's very good fwiw). Do you have any suggestions as to how to convey this to the girl though? Most of them I have been with despise uncertainty and OCD obsess over having all their ducks in a row with respect to all the long term/future/compatibility stuff. When study girl initiated this long talk I didn't quite know what to say and succumbed to trying to logic it out with her which in retrospect was a mistake. When she brings these topics up do you think I should blow her off in a standoffish way and not even answer her questions or just relay exactly what you said above to her?

I really like to use the strat: What your doing after class? and if they answer with something like: 'uhm idk' I ask them if they would like to drink a cup of coffee. Works like 80% of the time ^^

Mittens/ILM: Agreed. And it doesn't have to be sex, either. When i have a few girls that are down to just hang out / fool around / whatever, then I'm way more relaxed/comfortable/confident re: pursing women I'm more seriously interested in.

smokeandmirrors: "hey look that's cool, i just have a great time hanging out w/ you, let's just have fun and see where this goes" or a million other variants of that all tend to go over pretty well AS LONG AS THAT'S HOW YOU ACTUALLY FEEL. If you feel like "omgomgomg plsplsplspls have sex w/ me plsplspls ithinkyouaretheoneformeiaminlovewithyou!!!!" then it's prob gonna come off weird. As for "standoffish" that term gets thrown around a lot here, but I don't really get it and think the concept of "trying to act standoffish" sounds weird and trying way too hard. If you really don't have time to deal w/ a bunch of BS, then you'll act a certain way, it'll just happen. If you are wiling to deal w/ whatever, you might try to act "standoffish" or whatev, but most any non-idiot chick will see right through that.

What if you don't like coffee

Incomplete information. When you stop speculating/projecting, you'll stop making **** up.

Becoming more deft at reading social situations is infinitely more valuable (so you know whats going on rather than sitting at home guessing about it).

How do you suggest becoming good at "reading social situations"?

Through experience? would be my guess..

Yeah, and not being deluded.

Not being deluded/autistic is really important. Other than that, pay attention to body language and/or read about it.

first after title change

How do I learn to dance well in clubs?

wsop,

How are things going w/ the girl you are flirting super hard with each other and exchanging hot looks and stuff?

What is the next step here? It definitely sounds like she wants you based on all the signs you are getting!

Learn how to douggie

or even better learn how to bucky(go badgers!)

Can you feel a rhythm? Aka like bob your head to a song?

Are you suggesting Night at the Roxbury style dancing? haha great movie.

No im wondering if you can feel a rhythm, if not than dancing is probably gonna be hard to learn

Im not exactly sure what feeling the rhythm means But just assume that i can. now what? Is learning moves or improvising more money?

As someone whose go-to move is dancing, looking comfortable and having fun are really all that matter. If you look like you're comfortable and having a good time, she will, and that's all that really matters. If you can breakdance and get a group of 5,000 people around you obviously that doesn't hurt, but it is by no means necessary.

I mean you cant improvise without knowing moves.....improvise is anything not choreographed, but you need to know moves in order to actually do something in your improv....

Im assuming by club dancing you are not referring to grinding with a girl right? You mean like dancing by yourself?

If you dont know the basics of grinding with a girl, i dont really know what to tell you

Explain the basics

take hip hop classes. It takes a really long time to get good.