would have been funny had you actually put some effort in and used paragraphs, correct grammar and discernible sentence structure like henry does

i looked up who you are. cmon you coulda done better than that.

no, you havent. if you had youd realize anything parodying henry (who is himself undoubtedly the most brilliant caricature ever) never gets old.

yes, it does.
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http://www.nothingalbert15saidwassop...orhumorous.edu

dont get ur pantys in a twist m8 just cuz hes a better poaster than u after only 5!!! gona go 2 wilkies tmw and av ta get u a booster seat ya dwarf!!!!

i'd tell you guys that this senseless drivel adds nothing to the thread, but then turnupthesun might start picketing the forum

Busting out of friend zone...how is it even done? The only girlfriends I've had followed the "this is obviously a date ---> we're dating" model.

I buy into and understand the conventional wisdom that you can't just say, "So, I want to be more than friends." But what are we left with?

Obviously I've got a specific girl in mind that brings this question up. She's almost always up for hanging out, one-on-one or otherwise, and will generally contact me if I've ignored her for any length of time. I still get a pretty obvious friend zone vibe.

Recent example: as we're amidst law school finals, she indicated in an e-mail conversation that she was getting really stressed out. To that part, I responded with,

<<Honestly. Don't let the stress overwhelm you. If you feel yourself starting to wig out in any way, just stop and do something that relaxes you. Whatever it is...watch TV, go for a walk, call me to see if I can spare a half hour for a coffee break, anything. That will be a WAY more productive use of your time than studying when you're feeling overly tense.>>

She responds to that part with,

<<I definitely need to unwind sometimes, so all of your suggestions are lovely. The coffee break is my favorite.. expect a text in the next few days.>>

So, I obviously have good rapport and I got basically exactly the reaction I was baiting for, but I still have basically no idea what affirmative steps to take to try to progress from there. We have good conversations, she laughs at all of my jokes, etc., but I still don't know how to change the complexion of the situation for the better.

It's kinda just black and white. I've never liked a friend but I've had a lot of female friends over the years that have liked me. After talking to them about it (when they inevitably told me) they were pretty much interested from the start.

But my plan if I ever do get into that spot is to get drunk and hook up more than likely. You'll know.

just remember, girls love to be ignored.
so after coffee, wait til her next text/phonecall after finals, and when she suggests you do something lame, you suggest how about dinner instead?
then shes all like zomgzzzzz im going to dinner with lkj, hes such a grinder!

this is truly terrible advice. the whole awkward "let's do dinner instead" thing has the potential to crucify you straight into the friend zone, especially since you are getting that vibe already. The "ask her out to dinner formally" move is awful in most situations, but especially this one.

You need to frame whatever you are doing casually. Any type of overt move to date, since you are getting the LJBF (let's just be friends) vibe already, is going to be completely stonewalled by her 75 % of the time. (You'll get lucky sometimes).

You need to initiate something on a casual basis and during that interaction build attraction. Escalate physical contact. Touching her lower back leading her through a door, touching her on the shoulder or arm while having conversation, etc. Take it from there. Obviously eventually try to initiate something more physical than that when the time comes for it. Since you guys are friends already and hang out a lot, getting her to that point shouldn't be difficult... it's just breaking through the LJBF wall.

What can be helpful is initiate some sort of playful/friendly contact... low level cuddling or something. Let her get comfortable and enjoying it. If you make a move and she LJBFs you, then freeze out. Cut all contact, move to the other side of the couch without saying a word. When she asks you why you went away, respond that you are just honoring her wishes (don't use those words haha). She's going to come over to you very often, because she was enjoying the contact before. Girls have this LJBF instinct for some reason, and I'll never understand it.

i read it as she is obviously into him and hes scared of falling into friend zone.
from my experience, casually hanging out is a one-way trip to friend zone.
just making the move and jumping into an intimate setting makes it so you dont fall into friendzone, but it also can ruin the friendship.

you realize you're using chick logic here, right?

and no where did i suggest just making the move and jumping into an intimate setting. Read my post again.

To clarify, I do get the "let's just be friends" vibe, although this girl is truly all over the place. Sometimes she seems blatantly into me, something friends who have observed us agree with. Other times she seems to clearly distance herself.

The casual hanging out has happened and I fear it has dug me into friend zone already. But I mean...one time she came over just to watch a movie, and as soon as she came through the door she said, "Hey, I made you some apple crisp! Here, I'll put it in your fridge," beelined for my fridge and put it there. I was surprised and thanked her, she said, "No problem, just figured I should pay you back for <small favor I did that I thought nothing of but would take too long to explain here>." Trying to get a read on the situation, I laughed and said, "It's okay, you can just admit that you made it for me because you like me so much." She just laughed and said "No no, of course I do, but I just thought I'd pay you back for that." I kept reiterating that she so obviously didn't owe me anything and kept playfully making comments to the effect of that last one about her obviously just liking me, but couldn't get any kind of solid read. Still, pretty odd thing for her to do if she had friend-zoned me, especially if she suspects my interest at all.

It's problematic to get myself in the situation that Karak describes...when she comes over to watch a movie or whatever, she seems to beeline for the loveseat instead of the couch. Since it would be awkward as hell to go sit next to her on the loveseat (sitting next to her on the couch would be a different story), I always respond by sitting in the closest couch seat...so we're close by, but no significant contact can be initiated. I don't know if this is a deliberate LJBF wall she's putting up or if it's just a seat she naturally gravitates toward because it's where she sat the first few times I had her over in a group setting when others were over. In any case, she's either not deliberately leaving me an opening (bad) or deliberately not leaving me an opening (much worse). I do the "touching her arm, back, shoulder" stuff in conversation frequently and she doesn't balk at it at all, I went for a side hug one time as I was leaving a party she was at and she responded by readjusting and throwing her arms around for the hug from the front, and she's not a big hugger with others from what I can see, so she's not really averse to contact, but stepping it up to a more significant level proves difficult...the opening, whether through close proximity or through hesitation at the time of goodbye or whatever, just isn't there.

I look for the openings, I just don't see any. She shows enough positive signals to make me think that she might be into me, but there are plenty of negative signals that indicate exactly the opposite. And I haven't managed to meet with clear enough rejection or acceptance to either give up or to make an overt move.

Girls will naturally go for the seat that they won't share with you. They don't want to look too available or like they are throwing themselves out there.

Easy way to test her is to throw some **** on the loveseat before she comes over next time. Sling your backpack on it or something.

Here's something I did a few weeks ago: girl came over. I was sitting on the couch. She chose not to sit on the couch, but to sit on a single chair. I then asked her if she wanted some popcorn. She initially responded no, but I went into this whole dramatic presentation about how I make the best popcorn ever and she has to try it blah blah she said fine. I poured all the popcorn into one bowl, sat down on the couch, put it next to me and she immediately came over and sat next to it and ate it. Things progressed very well from that point on.

seems like a case of "just go for it" but i dont really know much.
if you truly value your friendship with her, maybe dont, but i dont see what else you could lose by not going for it.

worst executed gimmick ever

That's a fair point/strategy, Karak. Honestly, by now since she goes to that seat by habit, she might be averse to suddenly switching since she's come over at least 4-5 times just to hang one-on-one and we have "usual" seats by now...it's probably asking a bit much for her to go to another seat next time even if she did want to leave an opening, because it might seem obvious or something. If I give her the excuse of having stuff in the way, maybe things will go differently. If she starts moving my stuff out of the way, that won't be good, but I could probably attempt another angle with something along the lines of "hey, before we start the movie, come check out this YouTube clip on my laptop" while I'm on the couch. Probably won't have the chance to have her over until next semester rolls around though.

Honestly, she did sort of go out of her way to keep our get-togethers going, as we had been catching up on a TV series and got all the way caught up...when she went home for Thanksgiving, she brought another series back, one she had already seen and I haven't, and wanted to bring it over so we could start watching that one together. So, she was thinking of me when she was home for the holiday and wanted to have an excuse to keep hanging out...could still just be a friend thing though.

After this coffee thing happens, I imagine what I'm looking at is another week of not seeing her unless I bump into her, but she mentioned last time I talked to her that her class would be heading to the bar after her last final (hers is the day after my last one) and that I should come hang out too before we head our separate ways for Christmas break. I told her to text me which bar they were headed to and I'd try to make it. I'm sure I'll go, but being at the bar with her never seems to warrant much. She'll hang near me and talk to me the majority of the time that we're at a bar together, but she pretty much nurses a drink or two the entire time and never has been noticeably tipsy in front of me. She'll accept when I buy her a first drink, but usually just sips on it forever and never gets another. Maybe I'll try to talk her into a celebratory post-finals shot instead in this case to get a different tone going. I'd certainly like to at least see how her behavior toward me is when somewhat drunk, as I think it could give me a better feel for the situation.

Correct as usual.

Laptop-youtube thing: I was going to suggest that. Good move.

I'll be shocked if this girl isn't into you. There's a girl interested in being friends, and then there's a girl who is clearly showing romantic interest. I think she's the latter. Her constant wanting to be with you is way overkill for a "just friends." I think, executed correctly, this is a slam dunk for you.

And if she does throw the backpack off the loveseat, don't be thrown by that (pun intended). She could still be into you. Would you awkwardly sit next to her on the couch if you went to her place and there was another seat available? Probably not.

Here's something to try at the bar: instead of buying her drinks, try to get her to buy YOU a drink. This is easily my favorite tactic to use on women at bars and it works remarkably well. I have yet to have any girl tell me no. They might protest, but do not give in. Insist, just don't be a dick about it. It's been absolutely amazing to me how well this works. I'm sure you can see all the angles on why it is a +EV move.

my advice is for you to get drunk and just let everything flow. this might be a bad sign, but things come so much easier for me and women when i'm intoxicated. you can at least get them on the hook and pretty interested. sorta makes things easier when you go back to the sober reality. at least you both know where you're at.

yeah no

ugh reading this thread makes me too acutely aware how bad I ****ed up the chance to lock things up with the hottest girl I've known so far in college. balls

I did go to the school's Halloween party with her last month too...I had a Viking costume on, she had a ballerina costume. She texted me to see when I was headed to the party, I told her I was at a mutual friend's place and she should come on by and we'd head over together. When she got there, I suggested getting a picture together...she readily agreed, and the gal I gave my camera to said to her, "So, are you going to do a ballerina pose?" I said "screw that, I'm the Viking here, I pick the pose," and from a foot away I reached my arm around her, forcefully pulled her in and said, "I'm calling this one 'to the victor go the spoils.'" I figured the costume gave me every excuse to do this, and she laughed and seemed to enjoy it. So, I do try to do the physical contact thing where I can.

But honestly, I think this thing is far from a slam dunk. All I've done so far in this thread is accentuate positive signs. On the flip side, I can tell you that I've tried offering to walk her home before and have been declined more than once. Just doesn't seem like something an interested girl would decline. On Halloween night after the party she didn't decline, probably realized how nutty it would be for her to walk home down a poorly lit street after midnight on a holiday like that. She said, "Are you sure?" I of course insisted, she said "okay, I just didn't want to put you to the trouble since it's quite a bit of walking." I told her, "You might want to wake up and realize by now that I don't consider time spent with you to be an inconvenience." She said, "Well...okay. That's true. You're just a lot less convinceable than my friends in undergrad were." The way she talked about this made me think that she didn't really even consider the whole "walk her home" thing to be any kind of romantic gesture. In any case, since that time I offered to walk her home again and was again turned down despite my best efforts to convince her otherwise. I guess I could try to explain that away by a combination of her (1) not necessarily seeing it as a romantic gesture and (2) having a bit of a feminist streak to her, but it still seems like a pretty bad signal she's putting out.

That, and an overall friend vibe I get from her...I'm just not convinced that I've got anything close to a slam dunk here. Still seems like something of an uphill battle to me.

Honestly, I'm not seeing the huge benefit you're referring to in getting her to buy me a drink. Assuming it works, where does that really get me?

We need some success stories ITT. Don't know if MILF still readas thread but he seemed to be advancing well, wonder if any updates possible? how bout u turnupsun anything cracking?