Dante, looks like you are getting on the right track. Keep playing the game


All,
Lately I have been going to clubs like 3+ times a week. And honestly my club game is pretty weak. Where I come from trying to get girls is mostly done at bars. Now I am at clubs all the time in Shanghai. Figured i might post a situation i ran into for a few times and see how to play it.

So intro, clubs in Shanghai are too awesome. Super cool and free drinks/entree for westerners. I'm very tall (6'5) so stand out pretty well in the Chinese crowd. The real ballers have tables with girls surrounding them. So for guys like me there arent a ton of girls. Still enough choice.

So what happens is I walk in and get a drink and catch eye with a girl. For example today a pretty tall girl is about to take a shot of tequila when i approach the bar. She starts smiling and we share a few words that got lost in the music before she takes her shot with her friend. I grab a drink with my friends while she goes back to her group. Im eyeing her from time to time and she seems to enjoy herself.
We dont have super obvious constant eye contact but still frequent enough to make me feel like the odds are in my favor. Problem is, like every girl I met in those Shanghai clubs, she is surrounded by like 6 guys dancing around her. Basically they take turns talking to her and getting the cold shoulder.

So far i have been trying to wait for the good moment and approach her when she is alone for a second but that happens super infrequently since those guys walk with her from the bar to the toilet and back and I am not there to constantly watch a girls every move.

Maybe I should start dancing in her group and see what happens, but then i suddenly am one of the dozen guys approaching her every hour. Also noteworthy i can hold my own dancing wise but i am def not very good. Anyone have a go-to move in spots like this? Feel like it is a pretty frequent spot but i havent found a way to work it in a natural way

Maybe ask if you may buy her a drink or say something witty about all the dudes surrounding her and then take her to a calmer place? If I had the balls that is what I would do.

<3

Was hoping you'd appreciate

She could've definitely been flirty. She could've even been interested. Maybe her friend dissuaded her, or maybe some other guy started talking with her a lot. There's just no way of knowing why a girl doesn't show interest.


Start hanging out with girls just as friends, and you'll probably hear all the hilarious reasons why they turn guys down. I wouldn't sweat it since you'll never know why she didn't message you back.

I don't think you realize how good of a quality this is. If you keep expanding your network you will natural meet more women and the women you are with will see you as more attractive since everyone knows you.

Pulled a German girl at the club and brought her back to my homestay and smashed around 5am last night. Saw her eyeing me and so when she was alone at the bar approached and we hit it off. One of the cutest two girls I've been with here and I was soooo into the accent. Man, great night.

Got a Colombian girl number today at grocery store, shes only 18 but i asked for her number anyway because she looked stunning. Been communicating by text for the last few minutes but I haven't been running well with younger girls. I will keep you guys updated if anything progresses.

Colombian girl 110% flake rate.

birdman doing gods work

Started speaking to a 21 yo on tinder this morning and made plans with her this evening to get together, i suggested drinks but she sort of hinted she wanted a smoking session (shes a stoner). Shes sent me her address and im going there in a couple hours if all goes to plan. No idea what will happen but im sure its going to be fun lol

had tinder date w/ this girl hb 7.5 on Thurs night. no communication prior to date except an opener and talk of mutual friend. then gave her my number, forgot about it. she texts me a few days later. find out she lives in building next to me. set date, no communication until she texts me at agreed upon time with "here."

this all seemed too easy because, while tall, dark, and somewhat handsome, I am 6'1 170 and **** doesn't usually fall in my lap like this.

meet at this old german pub and we grab some moscoe mules. had taken a bit of phenibut the morning of for big meeting at work and could tell my usual anxieties had vanished and convo was flowing well, she was giving me interest.

she starts hammering me with personal questions. deflect the first few but the phenibut + alcohol mix has opened me up for the taking and i begin to spew way too much personal ****.

room mate had picked up shift at bar within 10 min walk so i say lets go we checking out this other place. she follows and date continues to go pretty well, more kino, etc...

prob stayed a little too long and had a little too much. at one point she orders a water and is looking at her phone for first time so im like alright lets leave.

did not k close in the bar-- mistake--

did not close her on walk home-- invited her up to see my wine and girl scout cookie collection and she laughed and said she has to work early. didn't really push it so we hug and I don't even go for K close?

anyways, i write it off as failed attempt and think she was turned off by crazy story i was telling her about a previous weekend I had that involved ketamine, getting kicked out of this house party and endding up naked in friends closet the next day.

no communication till this morning, and lol, she texts me...

Turned out she didn't have any weed and lives with parents so we decided to go for a drive and maybe get something to eat. Drove around for 40 minutes talking a lot and singing/rapping along to songs which was quite funny. She has a nice personality and sorta my type so thats a plus. After we had something to eat, I dropped her off and got a kiss. not sure if I will see her again but i had fun.

Had a funny situation come about. Don't recall if I posted about sleeping with a TA, but I did a few times over the past month. She got clingy so I began avoiding, and she ended up telling girls at school that she, "missed my dick" according to them.

Last night we end up at the same club and she continues to dance near me even though I actively move to avoid her. I had been flirting a lot with a girl (we'll call her G)in her group so steered clear of her and talked to G instead.

Eventually say I'm ready to head out to G and she says she is to so we both walk outside. TA is outside and we go up and talk to her and her friend. Her friend says she's heading home too and in my direction, which I respond, "actually I was going to walk G home." G says yeah that'd be great and TA just stares us down as we walk off haha. Hopefully she got the message.

p.s. Got to G's house and she actually went in to kiss me first. Rarely have I had that happen. I was about to anyways but was cool she was into it that much.

^ Birdman you're making me regret not going abroad in undergrad. Keep living it up.

@Paulie

So it didn't matter what you did,as soon as she found out who you were,it was not going to escalate.

Question is,are you going to be an Eskimo brother to your brother?

i mean, she does live right next door. told her to come over tonight, she agreed, then flaked, offering tomorrow as alternative w/ some lame excuse of a hangover. might just have to pass. she 25 have this other 21 year old im hitting up but she lives outside of the city.

Italian girl messaged back after 6 days. At least I got an answer back! See if shes messaging faster and can get something going.

How do I respond to a 'friend' that still wants to hang out 1 on 1, when she knows I'm in a relationship.

Prior to my relationship our friendship was basically me trying to bang her and her just wanting to be friends.

Now she writes "I miss you. When are we going to play?"

She's still a friend in a sense. Same group of friends. But I don't want to hang out with her 1 on 1. So far I just haven't responded all day.

She probably misses the attention you gave her

Ya seems like a super easy fade.

She probably had a delusional sense of what the relationship between the two of you is(or she wasnt delusional and just doesnt value you as a person all that much).

Is this same girl you had regular cuddle movie hangouts with? I think it was you who posted about a girl you constantly had cuddle movie hangouts with and she would rebuff you every time you tried to make something happen.

Agree with posts by burdz and custer, and yes ddip.

Just gonna fade. She will message again. We will end up seeing each other at a party this weekend or next and she will ask about it. Think my only response is something along the lines of 'that ship has sailed'

Lol cannot believe it's the same girl. BTW,"that ship has sailed" is snarky and makes you look like a bitch IMO.

Yep you clearly don't care about having her as a friend so fading/being cordial at social gatherings is the play. Don't act bitter or say "that ship has sailed" just say you're super busy with work/school/hobby/whatever else you do in your free time and she'll take a hint

Ok thanks. I've 'been busy' for the past year lol. I can't remember the last time we hung out 1 on 1, but she still tries at least once a month. I'll just keep being busy.