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Old 01-10-2016, 04:26 PM   #61626
Christophersen
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

Dante - getting her number should be easy. Definitely do that.

Regarding making plans - 1.5h does suck but it'll just take some planning. Going there for a 1 hr long dinner date and leaving is silly. Either make a plan to do a few things to make it a longer date, meet her half way for a shorter date, or make it open to whoever visits to stay over that night.
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Old 01-10-2016, 08:48 PM   #61627
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

How to be attractive to women(has nothing to do with physical looks, however if you aren't that physically attractive...do something about that ****. Go to the gym, get a stylist, etc. Maximize your physical appearance as much as you can based on what you have to work with, it shows confidence and that you care about your appearance and are aware and able to take feedback from the world which in and of itself is attractive)

Forgive any poor spelling/grammar....I'm basically just spewing a bunch of thoughts that have been in my head lately on the topic.



Here are some things to focus on in terms of improving your skills with women and what makes you attractive/unattractive to women. Understanding these things and working to improve on them will massively improve your results and make you a much happier person.

These are things I've learned through mentoring and trial and error over the years with not only women but life success in general. Being the Ask a Girl Out thread I will go into details about what being a successful, attractive man looks like relating to women but much of this can be applied to anything in life.

Life is about relationships, your relationship not only to everyone and everything but your relationship to tension as well. Tension is everywhere in life, it's mostly emotional and physical tension. You can make an argument for mental tension but that is mostly your thoughts creating an emotional or physical response in your body so I will just keep it to the first 2 mentioned. Your relationship with tension, how much you can handle, is directly correlated with your ability to be successful in whatever area of life you are stepping into or avoiding that tension.

For the purpose of being successful and attractive to women I will mostly talk about emotional tension, however this can lead to physical tension in your body(poor body language) so I will discuss both. Weight lifting, sports, manual labor, yoga, etc all involve physical tension and give you greater awareness of your body and make you more aware of how you feel in your body, whereas sitting at a desk all day trading stocks puts you in your head and you spend most of the day thinking which in turn leaves you out of touch with your body. The more in your body you are, and comfortable in your body, the more attractive you are to women....however this is multifaceted and brings me to emotional tension.

Emotional tension is the feeling of awkwarness or heaviness that a certain situation or event seems to have(that might not be the best way to put it but will make the most sense to people I think if they aren't already consciously aware of the various emotions that rise and fall in their body). Some situations are more awkward or heavy feeling emotionally than other, these are very emotionally tense situations. All physical tension will have a certain level of emotional tension built into it an vice versa. Imagine something is really awkward and you feel very uncomfortable in that situation, now how does your body react to that? You become more insecure, more closed off to the world, more withdrawn, more inwardly focused on yourself rather than what is happening around you....you're overall awareness retracts rather than expands. When you are able to relax into this your awareness will expand.

Women are very emotional creatures, they love feeling different emotions and are very loyal to their emotions generally speaking. Men, generally speaking aren't in touch with their emotions and often retreat to being logical/thinking to escape the emotions rising and falling in their body(some men might be OK with the tension that arises and sitting in it but they refuse to feel the emotion and again, to avoid this they retreat to thought and logic). The emotions are still there but we retreat from being consciously aware of them to only being consciously aware of our thoughts. However, we are still subconsciously aware of these emotions and they will subconsciously drive our actions because of this(have you ever done something that goes against what you consciously decided already that you would do and basically sabotage yourself and when you look back on it you can't exactly figure out why? That is because your emotions and actions took place subconsciously and you didn't even notice it happening until after it already happened).

Being attractive to women is about being confident. But what does that mean. It means being comfortable with the emotional tension that rises and falls when you meet a woman, when you discuss a risky/sexual topic, when you escalate physically with her, when you get sexual with her. These are very highly emotional situations and the guy that lives in his head thinking about each move he should make fails at doing these things. The guy that is able to sit in the tension, relax into his inner body, feel his being calm and quiet in his body as he enjoys the woman and his outer world, is the most attractive man in the room in pretty much all situations.

How do you practically do this?

Expand your awareness. Be more conscious of your body and your emotions on a daily basis as you walk around for starters. Meditation, yoga, sports, etc all help as well. None of these alone will do it for you though. You have to practice putting yourself in emotionally challenging situations and sitting in them and learning to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. You do this by going out and meeting lots of women, going on lots of dates, putting yourself in situations that cause an emotional reaction in your body and staying consciously aware of not only your emotional response but what is happening for the woman in that moment. The more you do this the better you get at it until it becomes second nature.

If you're deathly afraid at the moment to let a girl know you like her, to hold eye contact, to get physical/sexual with a girl then when these situations come up at the beginning you will be so focused on your inner experience and how uncomfortable it feels that you will feel immense amounts of fear, often retreat back to logic/thoughts(trying to figure out what to say as if there's ever some perfect line or thing to say bc there isn't), and generally just be more focused on yourself rather than her.

However as you have these situations happen more and more and you start to become comfortable with the rise and fall of emotions in your body, you will be able to relax into your body more, feel the emotions, and enjoy them. This is the ultimate place to be and where attraction is built. The difference between being attractive and being creepy is the guy that is attractive is comfortable and enjoying himself in his body as he's with the girl and the guy that's creepy is uncomfortable while trying to put on a front that he's confident as he retreats constantly from the present moment to his head to think of what to say. The girl immediately recognizes that the latter guy isn't comfortable in his own body and she doesn't trust a man that doesn't trust and isn't willing to feel his own emotions.

Think about what this signifies to the woman from an evolutionary standpoint. Hundreds or thousands of years ago, if the village was being attacked by another village trying to overtake it. The man who retreats from his emotions to his head is the same man that retreats from the village and leaves his wife and kids behind as he runs scared trying to save himself. The man that steps into the emotions, no matter how uncomfortable and says, **** it I gotta do this **** anyways, is the guy that joins the rest of the men and fights to protect the village. This is the fight or flight response that our body goes through. We live in a society now where we don't have to worry about things like that often if ever but it is still very applicable in terms of our fight or flight response when approaching, conversing, and escalating with women. When women realize you're confident in yourself and your ability to get **** done no matter what emotions rise up, not only that but you actually enjoy the emotions and use them as motivation to make **** happen, they realize you're a real man and they are instantly attracted.

The biggest actions that you will need to take in this area to get the results you want will be talking to lots of girls and pushing your comfort zone a little more each and every time. Anytime you get comfortable with something you need to push a little harder so you train you mind and body to be comfortable handling more and more emotional tension so you can remain calm and relaxed in the face of anything.

You can apply the same concepts to making money. You feel emotionally stressed everytime you think about starting a new business, take the first step and feel the emotions, rinse and repeat and keep pushing yourself a little more each day. Soon you will have built a business and you will look back on the whole thing and by the end it will feel easy and you'll wonder why you ever thought it was hard to being with.

Last edited by LucidDream; 01-10-2016 at 08:59 PM.
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Old 01-10-2016, 10:41 PM   #61628
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

Cliffs: So basically your saying: Dress well, Date more, learn to read girls better, become more relaxed and confident, Don't be afraid to make a move physically but do it nautrally, lose the shyness and fear and you will do better with girls.
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Old 01-11-2016, 01:21 AM   #61629
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

Stopped reading after "being attractive to women has nothing to do with physical looks".

Women will overlook a lot ,but to dismiss looks completely....

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Old 01-11-2016, 05:30 PM   #61630
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

Tinder chick im talking to has left Saturday evening free for me to take her out. shes 7.5/10 and just my type but just wondering what is an ideal first date we could do apart from the standard drinks? or should i keep it simple and go for drinks?
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Old 01-11-2016, 05:37 PM   #61631
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Colin_Piddle View Post
Cliffs: So basically your saying: Dress well, Date more, learn to read girls better, become more relaxed and confident, Don't be afraid to make a move physically but do it nautrally, lose the shyness and fear and you will do better with girls.
Yea, basically but the how to version of that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eeyorefora View Post
Stopped reading after "being attractive to women has nothing to do with physical looks".

Women will overlook a lot ,but to dismiss looks completely....

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That isn't what I said. I said my overall advice has nothing to do with that. In the very next line I recommend that anyone who isn't doing whatever they can to maximize their physical attraction first do something to change that and maximize it.
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Old 01-11-2016, 05:56 PM   #61632
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

Quote:
Originally Posted by wsopmichael View Post
Tinder chick im talking to has left Saturday evening free for me to take her out. shes 7.5/10 and just my type but just wondering what is an ideal first date we could do apart from the standard drinks? or should i keep it simple and go for drinks?
I usually only deviate from drinks if I have friends going out or if I know that she has a particular interest in something (e.g. a girl said she liked live comedy clubs or it came up somehow so I did that the first date) but really you problably wanna be drinking no matter what you do.
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Old 01-11-2016, 07:35 PM   #61633
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

Quote:
Originally Posted by wsopmichael View Post
Tinder chick im talking to has left Saturday evening free for me to take her out. shes 7.5/10 and just my type but just wondering what is an ideal first date we could do apart from the standard drinks? or should i keep it simple and go for drinks?
Keep the first date at drinks...simple is good. See if you're into each other. If you are, get more creative in the future
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Old 01-11-2016, 07:57 PM   #61634
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

LucidDream definitely wrote that post beating his chest like..."Man Student Life is going to think I'm a dating genius!"

Where in actuality it came off as awkward and cringe worthy as all his other posts.
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Old 01-11-2016, 07:59 PM   #61635
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

Ya if lucid was given a 100 word cap on his posts he would be much better off.
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Old 01-11-2016, 08:21 PM   #61636
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

I mostly posted it bc of Dante's posts where he's said numerous times he's fairly good looking and is getting Tinder matches but clearly has no idea what to do and girls still don't go for him. But I think it's good overall advice for all guys with an open mind.

No worries tho, I won't waste my time continuing to post advice where it's not wanted. For those of you that realize being attractive to women takes work and is multifaceted, you'll get it eventually. For the rest that think it's only based on being more physically attractive, good luck
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Old 01-11-2016, 09:37 PM   #61637
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

Thanks Lucid, please stop posting.
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Old 01-11-2016, 09:37 PM   #61638
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

Too wordy but I thought the post was fine.
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Old 01-11-2016, 09:50 PM   #61639
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

Ya, he is always always making good points, but the more verbose he is the more this "anything is possible!"...camp fire-y/kumbaya tone comes out.

Yes self doubt and low confidence are a huge problem but thinking the word is your oyster is not good either and he always manages to give off this vibe that once you are confident you can basically get anyone. Which is certifiably false. Obviously. People have types. Preferences. Etc.


Basically he talks a lot and will sprinkle in random wtf which takes away from his core points.

Last edited by CCuster_911; 01-11-2016 at 10:02 PM.
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Old 01-11-2016, 10:35 PM   #61640
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

Also, just a reminder:

Dont stick your dick in crazy:

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Old 01-11-2016, 11:08 PM   #61641
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

Quote:
Originally Posted by CCuster_911 View Post
Also, just a reminder:

Dont stick your dick in crazy:

I almost got arrested for letting my ex total the car I bought for her.

Cops didn't believe she could wreck a car ,so it had to be my fault.

Before cell phone video,Ldo.

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Old 01-11-2016, 11:16 PM   #61642
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

Lol gotta love cops
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Old 01-12-2016, 02:15 AM   #61643
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

Yea Lucid keep posting
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Old 01-12-2016, 07:17 AM   #61644
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

Saw that on fb. Why isnt he calling the copa though?
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Old 01-12-2016, 10:10 AM   #61645
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

Cause they will think it's him until he shows them the video
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Old 01-12-2016, 11:49 AM   #61646
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

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Saw that on fb. Why isnt he calling the copa though?
Yep what LT said but basically he doesn't have a landline, and the video proof(on his cell phone) is more important than getting the cops to come and stop her.

The odds that the cops would believe that she tried to hit him with her car, without the video, are pretty much 0.
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Old 01-12-2016, 12:14 PM   #61647
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

True.

On another positive note. Tinder girl accepted my invitation for a date. Havent planned much more than that. Still waiting for her reply if she is available the date i proposed.
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Old 01-12-2016, 01:04 PM   #61648
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

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True.

On another positive note. Tinder girl accepted my invitation for a date. Havent planned much more than that. Still waiting for her reply if she is available the date i proposed.
I usually dont propose specific days, I usually ask them when they are free for us to get together then i work around their response. if you ask a specific day and she says no shes not available, its hard to gauge if thats true or disinterest but if you ask her what day shes free to see you and she responds with a day or 2, you know that shes atleast interested in seeing you. If she says im not sure or I dont know then its usually a blow off and she doesnt want to see you anyway.

Just my opinion, asking for specific days works too if her interest is high enough as she will offer you alternative.
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Old 01-12-2016, 01:17 PM   #61649
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

She already said yes and she knows I have to travel a bit so I thought it would be easier if I proposed a date. And if she is not available then I think she will propose another day on a weekend.
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Old 01-12-2016, 02:54 PM   #61650
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Re: "Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

Nice! good job
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