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Old 10-28-2009, 08:46 PM   #26
BrianTheMick
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

[QUOTE=Skinz;14135180]The key to girls, poker, and life is lying. QUOTE]

There is no need for lying. I can think of 5 different ways to get her address and phone number without lying and I am drunk off my ass.
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:48 AM   #27
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

there's this girl in my dorm who i really like and i want to have a relationship with her. i've been flirting with her the last two weeks, and she's been pretty much flirting back, at least i think so.

eg, she's rested her head on my shoulder and told me that i'm really sweet after i was dropping some game on her.

fast foward to a week ago, when i asked her out for dinner. she responded to me that she'd love to go out to dinner with me but couldn't. she said "i promise, i'll go out with you some other time." i'm almost positive she was telling the truth about her other commitment, based on the excuse she gave.

so i texted her tonight if she'd like to go out for dinner tomorrow. she told me again that she's busy cause she's going to watch a movie with her friends tomorrow. this time i don't know if she's telling the truth. also i don't know what this means, but she included a :} in her text response. i still think she wants to go out with me and has been legitimately busy, but i may be wrong. what do you think? is she interested in me or not?

also, i just want to hang out with her and flirt with her and eventually have a relationship with her. since we live in the same dorm do i have to ask her out for dinner, or should i suggest that we hang out and do something together? if so, any ideas for what i should suggest we do together?

Last edited by abcdefghijk; 10-30-2009 at 03:17 AM.
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:56 AM   #28
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

also, would you recommend that i tell her "i love you"?

i seriously am in love with her and am thinking of sending her a text like "i know ur busy and all but i love you and want to spend time with you." good idea/bad idea?

and if i ever go out with her for dinner, my plan was to tell her that she was gorgeous and then that i want to get to know her better and ask her about her life. does this sound like a good approach?

btw, in case it matters, i'm just a freshman.

ty for advice, and sorry for being so verbose, but i've actually found a girl i'm in love with, rather than a girl i just wanna fucc.

Last edited by abcdefghijk; 10-30-2009 at 03:21 AM.
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Old 10-30-2009, 04:27 AM   #29
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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Originally Posted by abcdefghijk View Post
also, would you recommend that i tell her "i love you"?
Please, don't do that. Massive -EV move.
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Old 10-30-2009, 04:50 AM   #30
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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Please, don't do that. Massive -EV move.
THIS. DO NOT EVAR, EVAR SAY SOMETHING LIKE THIS: "i know ur busy and all but i love you and want to spend time with you."

Here are things you should say:
"When are you free to hang out?"
"What would you like to do?"
"Would you like to see a movie/go get dinner/(something else based on the fact that you know this chick better than we do)?"

Note: This girl almost certainly likes you. She has been resting her head on your shoulder. She will give you a positive response as long as you don't pressure and keep it fairly open-ended. (ie, the only way she will say no is if you come across a creepily).

And then, do not do this, "if i ever go out with her for dinner, my plan was to tell her that she was gorgeous and then that i want to get to know her better and ask her about her life."

Instead, you should actually ask her about her life, her family, her friends, actually get to know her, and then you can tell her that she's gorgeous and go from there. Talk before complimenting.

You don't need to push this one or do anything hard/tricky. Just don't come across as desperate, be patient, and you'll be fine.
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Old 10-30-2009, 05:53 AM   #31
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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Originally Posted by abcdefghijk View Post
"i know ur busy and all but i love you and want to spend time with you." good idea
+1

/thread
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Old 10-30-2009, 06:51 AM   #32
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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Originally Posted by TurnUpTheSun View Post
ive read a lot of threads here on student life and 2+2, and a common theme (as well as a common theme with me and my friends) is our insecurity when it comes to approaching a girl we have interest in.

in this thread, i propose we share stories (success and failures), tips, and propbets to help the community with girls.

i will start. there is a girl in my class (MWF) and we have "flirted" (i hate using that word, but i dont know what else to call it) for the last couple weeks. I am not sure if she has a bf, which always tilts me because i hate making things uncomfortable no matter where i am. if she has a bf, i have to be in class with her the rest of the semester. if she rejects me, the same awkwardness.

whats my move?
get out more maybe?
also craigslist is the best thing option imo.
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Old 10-30-2009, 10:17 AM   #33
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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are you ****ing serious? usually i just go with "do you have a boyfriend?" if i want to find out. but it doesn't matter if she is getting regularly plowed or not by some other guy as she could still have sex with you.
you suck
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Old 10-30-2009, 10:20 AM   #34
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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Ok so not a bad first attempt. I see where you made your errors though. It's not so much a big deal you didn't invite her to the party, its that you screwed up by not going the same way she needed to go. Her saying don't you have to go this way to get food was your chance to say oh yeah lol then you could have said are you sure you don't want to eat? my treat and then she prob would have been more inclined to say yes or atleast understand what you were trying to do. This also gives you another shot to say So about this party, would you like to go?

You made your big mistake by not going the way she was walking. Its ok though. There is next time. You can recover from this. You just need to focus and don't get down on yourself.
this is good advice
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Old 10-30-2009, 10:26 AM   #35
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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also, would you recommend that i tell her "i love you"?
Nooo- you need to wait AT LEAST 6 months before this. Try to be more casual and don't scare the **** out of her
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Old 10-30-2009, 11:30 AM   #36
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

ty for the advice, especially since i'm currently a dating noob and don't really understand the female psychology well yet


i'll try it out.


also, now that i've asked her out two weeks in a row and she's been busy two weeks in a row, should i ask her out again next week or should i stop asking her out temporarily to avoid seeming desperate?

finally, any advice on things to do with her without going out to dinner/movie cause she's clearly busy a lot on the weekends?
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Old 10-30-2009, 11:36 AM   #37
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

0 idea how it went from i just like flirting with her to contemplating the "i love you." You should probably never say that to someone unless you are 90% sure they have their feelings toward you are mutual.

I personally think that she is not interested in you as a bf, but more of a friend. A movie with the girls should not take up an entire night. Dinner at 5 should not impede on her girls night. I am just saying be cautious. This doesnt meant don't try at all, but i think a red flag should be up for you on her
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Old 10-30-2009, 01:02 PM   #38
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

my jaw just dropped.
abcetc, you have to be joking about this i love you thing.
for the record, how many texts have you sent her this past week?
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Old 10-30-2009, 01:05 PM   #39
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

a couple
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Old 10-30-2009, 01:07 PM   #40
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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a couple hundred
fyp?
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Old 10-30-2009, 03:20 PM   #41
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

has to be level....arggg it hurts just to picture such an awkward situation
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Old 10-30-2009, 05:01 PM   #42
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

How do you know when you are officially a couple? You start going on dates, hanging out, how do you make it official?
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Old 10-30-2009, 05:03 PM   #43
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

Another thought i had is why does it have to be dinner/movie- it's a touch 'official' for lack of a better word. Why don't you invite her to your next night out with your friends- if she is doing things with friends you can invite them along as well. This will show her your a laid back guy and know how to have a good time. Start building a friendship it should be pretty obvious if she likes you- you also have the added benefit for beer for confidence etc. Just don't drink 20 beers and this could work.
gogogo post results
end note- just tell me if this idea sucks
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Old 10-30-2009, 05:54 PM   #44
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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How do you know when you are officially a couple? You start going on dates, hanging out, how do you make it official?
this is actually a pretty good question that a lot of people go about in the wrong fashion.

Usually when a guy/girl are dating each other one of them ends up asking the other one if they are official. Naturally they are gonna say yes. But what does that mean? A lot of people treat this as if an entirely new set of rules of engagment come into play and seemingly act differently since they are "official."

* acting differently is very vague for a set of conditions that each individual person puts on a relationship

In my honest opinion you should never have to ask the other one about becoming official. Its something that just kind of happens. Being a couple should basically mean you are exclusive with one another, rather facebook saying you are a couple, or you two saying you are a couple to your friends.

I guess what im trying to say in short is you don't want to feel like becoming a couple is some huge step that has to be taken...hopefully its something that is gradually worked into. For every "possible couple" this could be a short amount of time or a longer amount of time based on your chemistry with each other and other variables


hope that helps

cliffs: it should just happen, and when it does you should be able to recognize that its happened
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Old 10-30-2009, 06:32 PM   #45
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

so i am in a kind of weird spot i don't know how to correctly deal with. recently i've started spending a lot more time with a girl i've known for about year, when i met her she had a boyfriend so i never really thought about it until now. we have had class together 5 days a week for last 2 semester. i feel like i'm getting fairly mixed messages from her, sometimes i feel like we are acting very couple-y and i'm guessing this is noticeable to our circle of friends.

on the other hand she seems to tend to invite other people along when we go and do things and we usually end up alone by virtue of walking hanging out right after class or other people not being able to come when she invites them. she also seems like the kind of girl who would be really bad at flirting so i wouldn't take it as a rejecting that she isn't making it obvious. i am considering just asking her flat out about it but don't want to then make it awkward when we see each other every day. not sure if i adequately conveyed the entire situation but any help appreciated
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Old 10-30-2009, 06:48 PM   #46
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

i have a hard time asking girls out at my school. I think its because I have known them since 5th grade or something, and it just seems weird to go for one of them. I never really wanted a girlfriend or anything and dont think i do yet, but soon I might go for one
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Old 10-30-2009, 06:55 PM   #47
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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Originally Posted by mrregan View Post
this is actually a pretty good question that a lot of people go about in the wrong fashion.

Usually when a guy/girl are dating each other one of them ends up asking the other one if they are official. Naturally they are gonna say yes. But what does that mean? A lot of people treat this as if an entirely new set of rules of engagment come into play and seemingly act differently since they are "official."

* acting differently is very vague for a set of conditions that each individual person puts on a relationship

In my honest opinion you should never have to ask the other one about becoming official. Its something that just kind of happens. Being a couple should basically mean you are exclusive with one another, rather facebook saying you are a couple, or you two saying you are a couple to your friends.

I guess what im trying to say in short is you don't want to feel like becoming a couple is some huge step that has to be taken...hopefully its something that is gradually worked into. For every "possible couple" this could be a short amount of time or a longer amount of time based on your chemistry with each other and other variables


hope that helps

cliffs: it should just happen, and when it does you should be able to recognize that its happened
What you're saying is IT should'nt have to be asked" because its a sign of desperation or because it looks as lowly attempt of something in the other's eyes??
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Old 10-30-2009, 08:12 PM   #48
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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Originally Posted by furyshade View Post
so i am in a kind of weird spot i don't know how to correctly deal with. recently i've started spending a lot more time with a girl i've known for about year, when i met her she had a boyfriend so i never really thought about it until now. we have had class together 5 days a week for last 2 semester. i feel like i'm getting fairly mixed messages from her, sometimes i feel like we are acting very couple-y and i'm guessing this is noticeable to our circle of friends.

on the other hand she seems to tend to invite other people along when we go and do things and we usually end up alone by virtue of walking hanging out right after class or other people not being able to come when she invites them. she also seems like the kind of girl who would be really bad at flirting so i wouldn't take it as a rejecting that she isn't making it obvious. i am considering just asking her flat out about it but don't want to then make it awkward when we see each other every day. not sure if i adequately conveyed the entire situation but any help appreciated
I would just up the ante with the touchy feely flirting. When you sit down next to her put your arm around her and look in her eyes with a smile and ask how she's doing. When you say something jokingly to her hold her hand, etc, etc. Things should progress from there under normal circumstances.
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Old 10-30-2009, 11:28 PM   #49
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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I would just up the ante with the touchy feely flirting. When you sit down next to her put your arm around her and look in her eyes with a smile and ask how she's doing. When you say something jokingly to her hold her hand, etc, etc. Things should progress from there under normal circumstances.
meh, this could easily wind up being awkward and it's a move that requires total confidence to pull off successfully. If this isn't something you already do (not necessarily w/ her but with other girls in general), prob a bad idea to try to force it.
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Old 10-31-2009, 01:00 AM   #50
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

so i've asked the girl out for dinner two saturdays in a row and though i think she's still interested in me based on the evidence i gave earlier (she's flirted back), she's been "busy" those nights. should i ask her out again next week, or should i stop for a while cause maybe i seem desperate?
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