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Old 04-02-2010, 01:35 PM   #4676
Karak
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

let's not forget she spent the night at my house when she was with her last boyfriend a month ago*

MAN IM DUMB
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Old 04-02-2010, 01:38 PM   #4677
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

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Actually I do know how to incorporate it. If she feels so strongly that she feels guilty, then why did she engage in the behavior in the first place? Why did she put herself in that position if from her moral standpoint (and from mine which should be clearly obvious to her) she thought it was "disgusting" and "shameful" behavior?

I suppose my problem is at my age I don't need to be dating people who make mistakes like that so casually. Especially ONE DAY before she was going to see me. Am I barking up the wrong tree?
I would incorporate this into just being a caution sign. Make a mental note of this and forget about it. If it happens again, you reevaluate. I think it would be appropriate to let this slide once to see what develops from it.

As far as her making casual mistakes, are you certain that she does this casually? It is possible that you just caught her when she was running bad and made your read off of that.

I would give it a shot, but be very cautious about getting involved further for the wrong reasons. As far as the issue from last night, I'd make a mental note of it, but not let it create distance if you do meet up (but not hook up) with her.
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Old 04-02-2010, 01:39 PM   #4678
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

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let's not forget she spent the night at my house when she was with her last boyfriend a month ago*

MAN IM DUMB
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Old 04-02-2010, 01:39 PM   #4679
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

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let's not forget she spent the night at my house when she was with her last boyfriend a month ago*

MAN IM DUMB
Wasn't aware of this.
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Old 04-02-2010, 01:41 PM   #4680
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

I still like the line of meeting up and making it very clear that you're not interested in just hooking up or anything. If that is what she is interested in, it will become very clear and her hand is essentially played face-up and you adjust accordingly.
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Old 04-02-2010, 01:55 PM   #4681
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

I just don't understand why after all tehse bad signs I'd voluntarily go forward. I mean there's more women in the world... esp ones who aren't 19.

I dunno. I'm not sure what my line is here.

yeota and one of his roommates who both know her IRL strongly reacted with "RUN"

the roommate actually said in my position he'd go nuts on her and was surprised I didn't
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Old 04-02-2010, 01:56 PM   #4682
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

i think im just cutting it loose. im not desperate like this lol to continue down this path.
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Old 04-02-2010, 02:10 PM   #4683
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

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I just don't understand why after all tehse bad signs I'd voluntarily go forward. I mean there's more women in the world... esp ones who aren't 19.
I didn't know she was only 19. I think that's certainly too young considering that you're 24 and she has shown little maturity so far. After I think about it, there's no reason to push small edges and just dropping it is certainly okay.
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Old 04-02-2010, 02:11 PM   #4684
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

Karak, have a fun time with a girl, any girl. Does not need to lead to sex. BG is not relationship material, but if you have fun hanging out with her, go for it. Just dont sex her, unless you like drama.


P.S. If you like nice girls, who would never do something like this, why do you like BG at all? She seems the opposite of your type.
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Old 04-02-2010, 02:15 PM   #4685
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

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Karak, have a fun time with a girl, any girl. Does not need to lead to sex. BG is not relationship material, but if you have fun hanging out with her, go for it. Just dont sex her, unless you like drama.


P.S. If you like nice girls, who would never do something like this, why do you like BG at all? She seems the opposite of your type.
i think yeota can attest that her doing this was rather surprising (and he even said that). yeota said he thought it was an april fools joke at first.

his roommate felt the same way (that it was surprising)
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Old 04-02-2010, 02:26 PM   #4686
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

Hmmm tougher call then, it just really sucks she did that.

When she hung out with you while dating previous boyfriend, was it heavily flirtatious in nature?
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Old 04-02-2010, 02:51 PM   #4687
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

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Hmmm tougher call then, it just really sucks she did that.

When she hung out with you while dating previous boyfriend, was it heavily flirtatious in nature?
she spent the night with me...
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Old 04-02-2010, 03:14 PM   #4688
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

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I considered this, and here are the counterpoints I thought of:

1) My time is very valuable (finals in 3 weeks so I don't get to go out much), and I really can't afford to waste it on something that is unlikely to go anywhere.

2) I'm not sure how I'd react to her. I'm pretty ****ing deflated right now. I'd probably just feel disgusted the whole time.

3) Let's be honest... this probably wasn't going anywhere before, and it's definitely not going anywhere now.
see this is why im so confused by your play here. paying this issue any attention whatsoever at this point is like... throwing in good money after bad. cut the loss imo

edit woops just saw post 4685. good call
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Old 04-02-2010, 03:22 PM   #4689
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

and she just used the r-word to characterize what happened yesterday
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Old 04-02-2010, 03:34 PM   #4690
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

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CCuster is average in every way, but is really funny irl.
Lol i won most sarcastic in high school, which is probably a bad thing...

I am prob pretty average except for the fact im 6'4".....nothing too remarkable about me
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Old 04-02-2010, 03:40 PM   #4691
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

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Actually I do know how to incorporate it. If she feels so strongly that she feels guilty, then why did she engage in the behavior in the first place? Why did she put herself in that position if from her moral standpoint (and from mine which should be clearly obvious to her) she thought it was "disgusting" and "shameful" behavior?

I suppose my problem is at my age I don't need to be dating people who make mistakes like that so casually. Especially ONE DAY before she was going to see me. Am I barking up the wrong tree?
Uh well the fact that she is 19 pretty much explains why she put herself in that position. It's really a maturity issue and there isn't much more to it. I'm 24 as well and I do notice that there is a difference between 18-21ish girls and 22+ girls in their maturity. This is a general statement and obviously isn't true for everyone but for the most part ... yeah.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Karak View Post
I just don't understand why after all tehse bad signs I'd voluntarily go forward. I mean there's more women in the world... esp ones who aren't 19.

I dunno. I'm not sure what my line is here.

yeota and one of his roommates who both know her IRL strongly reacted with "RUN"

the roommate actually said in my position he'd go nuts on her and was surprised I didn't
Yeah, man its your choice I mean if you like her I would give her a chance, but you need to keep in mind that you both are just going to be at different stages in your lives for the next few years, and if that is a big problem for you then it would be best to move on.

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and she just used the r-word to characterize what happened yesterday
I'm missing something because I don't know what this word is.
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Old 04-02-2010, 03:43 PM   #4692
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

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and she just used the r-word to characterize what happened yesterday
she had sex with a retard...Karak lost out to that?

Last edited by CCuster_911; 04-02-2010 at 03:43 PM. Reason: obv its rape ldo
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Old 04-02-2010, 03:43 PM   #4693
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

rape (because of the sheer level of intoxication, not because of any forced advances)
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Old 04-02-2010, 03:55 PM   #4694
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

god it ****ing tilts me how bad girls just go with whatever guy forces themselves the most on them at the end of the night. it's like they confuse it in their ****ed up heads as confidence. guys do it as well but that's because we don't have girls throwing themselves at us so when they finally do most find it really attractive that the girl is taking control.

anyways, this incident is red flag #2 or more forsure so she's out of contention for relationship status obviously. now it's up to you whether you want to hit it or be done with it completely. you seem more emotionally effected by this stuff than most so i'd suggest canceling with her and maybe a week or two down the road hanging out and doing it. you don't want to kiss her tonight where some other dudes dick has been <24hrs ago, etc.
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Old 04-02-2010, 04:03 PM   #4695
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

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rape (because of the sheer level of intoxication, not because of any forced advances)
Oh gotcha...

I dated a girl who was raped, and it really was psychologically damaging. Also, a friend of mine was raped from intoxication, and it affected her pretty significantly. Regardless of whether it was rape or not. You can expect her to be extremely ashamed and depressed.
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Old 04-02-2010, 04:18 PM   #4696
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

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goofyballer - 6'0, dark hair with those thick rimmed hipster glasses. softspoken.
omg gtfo



Quote:
Originally Posted by LT22 View Post
obviously bad table selection, BUT I don't think you are acting irrationally about being pissed off. She is immature and wants to get drunk and hookup with randoms. That's fine, I wouldn't be interested in her either (I'm 23).
I kinda feel like this, but I'm also a sucker for stuff like

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"I hope you don't judge me based off one stupid mistake like that... I'm really ashamed of it. I am disgusted at myself."
and that makes me want to not hold it against her. But I'm easily manipulated.

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and she just used the r-word to characterize what happened yesterday
Quote:
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rape (because of the sheer level of intoxication, not because of any forced advances)
And now I'm tilted again and don't really have as much sympathy, take responsibility for your actions ffs
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Old 04-02-2010, 04:25 PM   #4697
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

my point to Karak was why is he making such a big deal out of this whole thing if he truly didnt have "feelings"? he hooked up with her what once or twice and is now having this whole situation. it shouldnt be hard to tell her to **** off if thats what he wants to do at this point.

hence the karak "why does this always happen to me", well, frankly you bring it on yourself.


kinda harsh but true imo.
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Old 04-02-2010, 04:32 PM   #4698
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

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my point to Karak was why is he making such a big deal out of this whole thing if he truly didnt have "feelings"? he hooked up with her what once or twice and is now having this whole situation. it shouldnt be hard to tell her to **** off if thats what he wants to do at this point.

hence the karak "why does this always happen to me", well, frankly you bring it on yourself.


kinda harsh but true imo.
QFT.
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Old 04-02-2010, 05:19 PM   #4699
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

Beyond the r-word, the real question is do you want to cut her slack for doing something alcohol had everything to do with. We all know people do really stupid things when seriously drunk.


And if she was actually passed out, it would be the r-word. At this point we are getting into too many details.

Either way last thing Karak should do is have sex with her. The question of whether or not he should hang with her, is up in the air. Does Karak want to play the role of White Knight?
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Old 04-02-2010, 05:41 PM   #4700
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl"/Relationship Advice Thread

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how/where/why did she give you her number?

what did you suggest when you "suggested to meet?"

Your story provides no mixed signals except for a possible flake (which may be your fault depending on what you asked her to do). It's also quite possible she was actually not feeling well!

EDIT: Call her next time!
btw, the other day I asked to meet up again and she said she was going to sleep because she had work in the morning.

I have written her a message two days ago, and she didn't reply, which is unusual because she always replied, one time even after 12 hours or so. Any advice?
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