Was just going to post this question. Choking down food you can't stand to eat with someone you're not trying to hook up with? I mean, if my whole group of friends wants to eat somewhere and I don't, I'll be a sport...but one person, and you're not attempting a redirect?

yea nm that part i'll suggest something else

tell her you just wanna eat on campus or something that in no way would be considered date like if you are that worried about it

why not? who cares if you're being a tease. unless she is really unattractive and u don't want her to hit on you at parties in the future because it'll look bad in front of other girls.

i think guys need to look how girls act. yes it makes us extremely frustrated when they just don't make it cut and dry whether they like us or not but them flirting with guys they have no intention of getting with keeps the guy inviting them to parties,etc.

the only reasons i can see blowing off a girl completely and ignoring her is if you're about to ask another girl out and u don't want to jeopardize that or if you're embarrassed to be seen publicly with her. girls in general have a better social life than guys because they get invited to everything regardless of their personality or how close of friends they are. u never know in the future if you have some boring friday night she could invite you to some place. also girls hangout with more girls LDO

Sounds like he's trying to be a good guy and not put his own motives first. That's hardly a bad thing.

yes

perpetuating subpar behavior others do to you or another class simply because others also engage in the behavior is not a way to cure the undesired deficient social norms

Wait... is she paying?

B/c if I'm paying, AND I'm not trying to sleep with her, I'm 100,000% not going to some restaurant I can't stand.

edit - that being said, your opinion about sushi is wrong. It's delicious.

that's like not trying to hookup with the attention whore girl who thinks she's the **** because she's getting attention from every guy. some other guy is gunna tap it that night but at least you tried to start a change in the social norms!!

Worst case ontario you get some decent conversation out of the meal and get a chance to expand your social circle. She may have some hot friends and getting a positive review from her gives you cred with them. I'd be a gentleman and be perfectly honest about not being interested in her if she suggests further dates.It might be a sting her a little bit but a couple seconds of awkwardness beats her feeling like you're sending mixed messages. Suggest paying seperate bills and keep it platonic and you'll be fine.

and you maintain some personal dignity?

i know this is mind-blowing, but some of us don't just give sex out to any attractive and willing girl. ygos i know.

the two bolded parts is what i should have put in my original post
that actually is mind blowing. i'm having sex with an 8.5+ pretty much no matter what

lol D's little sister and BG both started blowing up my phone about simultaneously to let me know they both are in the same class as the other right now, but haven't ever talked to each other in the class so it's awkward.

+1 unless she has a rep for being a slut. karak is religious imo

yup

That one is about your own self-respect. And yes I'm with Karak on being discerning (at least if I'm sober).

This situation we're talking about involves the feelings of another person though, so it's even worse to just totally disregard the right thing to do. We should hardly be punishing this girl for the acts of other girls. I applaud the dude who posted the situation for giving a damn about more than present or future hookups.

EDIT: I'm also with Karak on being religious, but that shouldn't really be the only reason we're promoting treating other people well.

i love LKJ

You guys are being stupid in ways only people that analyze these situations intellectually on internet forums can be.

He doesn't owe this girl anything. A lovely girl is asking him out for dinner. As such, he should be polite. That's it. Politeness is absolutely NOT going to a restaurant we can't stand and having an awkward conversation about feelings and intentions and plans, whatever. Adults can go on dates with one another without owing them any sort of sexual advances or financial responsibility, etc.

She thinks she's going on a date. That's all. She doesn't think anything "more than that". Relax on go on the date. If you want to be sexual with her on the date, do it. If you don't, don't. The way you treat her, how much you touch her, and the nature of your conversation will more than clearly pass on the way you want your relationship to advance. Be a normal balanced human being and just talk to her like you want to talk to her. She's not a little kid. She'll get the clue. This isn't cruel or mean - this is exactly how girls act towards girls and how they appreciate and understand men. Nobody cares what you say - it only matters what you do. Treat her honestly, not condescendingly.

cheers

you will regret this. you will VERY regret this.

If it's her idea then lol at paying a penny more than my share.


I'd really be up in the air about going for sushi tbh. With all the talk about her feelings and whatnot, I really can't imagine a girl asking a guy to go out for sushi and wanting it to be just a friends thing (idk, maybe I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that this was a semi-random thing, as opposed to a few months of banter). That being said, I think one of the hottest things a girl can do is approach me and take the initiative herself. Anyway, BTO is on the right track imo, but if we're really talking about feelings then not going> going and being really direct> going and not being direct.

I think Karak already said this, but yeah... just because someone ****s their pants doesn't mean I'm doing it too.

A really hot girl, 3 years older than me, gave me her number. She lives in the dorms too, so I texted her, and suggested to meet. She said that it sounded fun, and agreed to meet on another day because she was not feeling well that day. We've been texting on and off, but she always seems to reply instantly. I don't want to sound too needy, but should I ask her out again? This girl is giving me a lot of mixed signals ...

agreed on the girl taking initiative=awesome

that said, I would not being going out to sushi. Just tell her you don't like it, she will understand.

Get some food, enjoy some conversation, keep conversation casual, pay for your own meal and she pays for hers. No weird moment at the end of the night, just go your separate way. It WILL be awkward if you bring it up before or during the date that you don't like her. Body language and your words should be enough to tell her you're not interested.

P.S. Are you sure you're not at all interested in her? What do you do if you actually have a good time on your date?

how/where/why did she give you her number?

what did you suggest when you "suggested to meet?"

Your story provides no mixed signals except for a possible flake (which may be your fault depending on what you asked her to do). It's also quite possible she was actually not feeling well!

EDIT: Call her next time!

You're worried about looking needy? Girls like looking and feeling well when they're out with other people. Yeah I know it's shocking stuff. Give it another shot and if she flakes wait for her to suggest something to you.

I cant see how this would be a problem. im not going to say anything that would give a message like 'stay away from me'. im just trying to let her know I dont share the feelings she has for me (if she has any) by hurting her as little as possible and not make the remaining classes we have together awkward. If I have a great time with her I'll just ask her out for another date.

I wasn't saying it was a problem. Just wanted to find out where you stood. Your original post made it sound like you already made your mind up (which is not good IMO). I was going to suggest you go in with an open mind and it sounds like you are at least somewhat open minded.