ARE YOU ****TING ME?

I walk the 20 minutes back from town to campus to meet her. I make tea, sit here thinking how much of a dick I feel for leaving my friends bday drinks. Half an hour later, she texts - "I'm sorry but andrew is all emotional over some girl again and I dunno what to say but dont want to elave him. If im not up too late, I'll still come round".

FFS

Effing women piss me off so damn much. I replied "are you ****ting me, ive walked back from town, made tea, drunk tea, sat here feeling guilty, and now you say that. I love andrew as much as the next man but he really needs to man up and sort himself out. are you actually gonna come cos if not I've got time to head back to town?"

God im tilted, effing waits half an hour after I text her telling her im back to tell me that as well. you have no idea how much i just wanted to reply "**** OFF."

unless you are overwhelmingly attractive or she is very desperate, you're done. you finished yourself off with that text. i cant even imagine damage control that can rectify this situation now.

Oh those girls exist here. They all have boyfriends. Maybe I should have left it to "single law school girls."

Although I still hold that most lawyers are... different than normal people. However that works out because they can date each other. I am neurotic, a little wild at times but still a huge life nit, way too obsessed with analyzing every situation logically and OCD about some things... so I'm just like a lawyer. But I would never want to date anyone like myself. Maybe that's the issue with law school girls.

She told me not to shout at her, despite the fact I didnt use capitals. She also said it wasnt just about the girl and she cant just leave him.

I said "i didnt shout, but you can see why im a bit annoyed. What do i do?"

I cant describe how tilted i am. Really want to go back and join my friends but effing 20 minute walk back in the cold ffs. Also still wanna see her. She's been pretty out of order though. I appreciate she wants to comfort him, but why wait effing half an hour to tell me, when in that half an hour i could have comofrtably rejoined my friends.

On second thought, I can. Although I assume you'll implode again later down the line, why not try?

A call is better than a text for this, but a text can work I guess.

"hey I'm really sorry about my text before (yes, apologize, what do you said was pretty awful given the circumstances), I've just had a lot on my mind lately (or you could say one of my friends had me kind of annoyed at the time or something) and I was really looking forward to hanging out with you to do something different than just chill with the guys, but the stress got to me. Let's set up a rain check date."

edit - i wrote this post before your last. sorry, but to be bluntly honest you aren't capable of handling this situation right now. you really need to work on your temper and anger issues, because things like this will happen with every girl now and forever more.

I'm not angry really, just very frustrated. Come on, put yourself in my shoes ffs.

1) She takes 3 hours to respond to my initial text, messing about with plans
2) Tells me she's definitely up for a film, backs out
3) Takes so effing long in replying each time, that it makes it even harder to rejoin my friends with enough time to make it worthwhile.

And my initial text really wasnt that bad.

She has replied with "I know, sorry. if you want to go back to your friends, you should."

waoeigwraeonrnrl;nral;nanlkbsfjlnbfsnb

I'd be annoyed too. However the appropriate reaction anytime someone annoys you is not always to go off on them. Especially a girl in this situation. Put yourself in her shoes.

Your reaction was a complete overreaction and out of line. If this girl comes back at you after it without any damage control on your part, I'd question what's going on with her.

It doesn't matter if it was or wasn't from your perspective (and it was). But she thinks it was. She asked you to stop yelling at her. Having a girl ask you to "stop shouting at me" is never, ever good for a lot of reasons.

Yeah I understand.

What should I do now? My friends are on their way back, gonna meet up for a few kitchen beers. I do wanna see this girl, but I've no idea what to respond, or whether to just leave it completely. Would it be weird now to suggest tommorow instead?

Edit, I did nothing to suggest I was yelling though.

I honestly don't know what to tell you to do now.

No worries.

Im not going to reply. I might ring her later, when I've chilled out and she's done comforting.

Effing women.

****, are there people who want to date others who are like themselves?

Having a few common interests and beliefs is obviously a good thing, but hell if I ever want to date some female version of myself.

Anyway, I see what you're saying, but there's no shortage of girls in my school who I would either date or recommend to a friend.

As Karak said, you should apologize if you want this to be salvageable at all.

If this girl were in this thread instead of you, and was describing this sequence of events, I imagine all of us would tell her to run like hell.

Absolutely.

you ****ed up bro!

ya if i were u i would stop living your life just for her. like if ur out drinking with friends and she answers ur text 3 hours late, **** that just chill with ur boys tell her ur out and worry about it another time.

you did everything wrong you could have done wrong.
1) you made her your top priority. not only does this reflect badly on you with your friends, but it shows her that she has control over you.
2) you sent her an angry text confirming that she can emotionally affect you.
3) instead of spinning an apology in some way, you continued with your same tone, ugh.

Be nonreactive and do your own thing.

Go out with your friends and send her a text like:

"It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate. I'm going to go try to meet back up with my friends. Hit me up later when you get everything sorted out."

Simple and to the point.


-edit: also what the **** is wrong with your friend andrew ?

-double edit: Actually it sounds like if andrew is upset over the ladies maybe he should come out and have a good time at the bar to get his mind off of it.

-triple edit: also IMO you didn't **** up as bad as everyone else says you did. Just don't go and try to talk to her when you're drunk later tonight. Otherwise you'll probably say something you regret. Unless she hits you up, I would just get at her tomorrow morning.

Karak and LKJ are right. Tilt control is really, really big when it comes to women (and life in general). Your tilt control, WonThyme, is effing terrible. You basically went from LOCK to get this girl to having almost no chance in like 2 nights.

You cannot let a girl you are not currently seeing get to you like this and go off on her. Yeah, it's a ****ty position to be in, but apparently she has other priorities/cares about her friends. I mean, it's not like she's trying to totally mess with you here (if she is, well then, run, RUN now).

You need to keep your cool in spots like this and not be mad. Being sad is a little ok, but you just can't play this spot the way you did. You need to apologize, you need to fix your damn tilt control the next time you see this girl, because she's now really, really wary. And you need some damn patience.

The girl is not the problem here. You are. I bet any one of us, if we were put in your spot 2 days ago, would get this girl within a week.

Hey now, let's not get too adventurous there!


btw, when that girl texted me a few days ago (after I called to ask about getting drinks) and said "rain check" at the end, does that mean she's saying she'll contact me later? I thought it was just a synonym for "another time", but my roommate was like "yeah, when someone says rain check it means they're taking the initiative and she'll call you" and I was like "wat"

Debating whether to call her today and suggest something for tomorrow.
Pros: increased chances of action, spending the night doing something other than playing video games and drinking a lot
Cons: slightly decreased chances of first date happening if I push harder to make it happen on accelerated timetable

you call. chicks never call.

id call like monday (say you were busy helping your parents this weekend, awwwww) and make plans for later in the week.

so many posts to catch up on. its 6pm and i'm still drunk from last night

ya i would call her, although give it a few

you'll enjoy the read