I'm mostly half-joking with everything I post, it's hard to convey that on the internets though. I'm certainly not in blubbering-mass stage, I just recognize that certain word choices are better than others and the one used is regrettable.

Going into devil's advocate/poker theory mode (where I tend to overemphasize discussion on something insignificant because I place importance on getting things right)...I don't think this is the correct approach. If that one-word adjective choice is likely to (and perhaps even should) give her a negative impression, why should I blame her for that? To use a hypothetical example, say I was like "hey, I like your roommate" (to my roommate's gf) and she was like "cool, can I tell her that?" and I was like "ok", and then she goes and tells her roommate "hey, my bf's roommate totally loves you!"...again, simple change of one word, but now her roommate is probably (and should be) freaked out that I'm using a word that conveys such strong feelings when I just met her. Now, yeah, I didn't actually use that word, but she doesn't know that; so given that, I don't think it's correct for me to be like "well she's a bitch if she's freaked out by that".

Have you ever heard of "circular thinking" when applied to anxiety and imagining the worst case scenario even though it is highly unlikely if not impossible?

Who would be or even should be "freaked out" by someone saying they were attractive. Holy poop if that were the case everyone would be running in panic for the hills and hiding under rocks. You are making way WAY too much out of this and it makes me concerned for how you are going to approach the rest of the situation. You are basically putting the word beautiful on the same level as "I'm going to stalk her and hunt her down" or "I'm going to propose to her tomorrow." Beautiful is a powerful word in some contexts, but you are failing to consider context.

Do you honestly think her roommate would have said that if it would have been "really creepy" and "freaked her out?" Do you even know that she actually used the word beautiful? Do you even know what context it was put it? Do you know how they define the word beautiful in their own context?

If this girl is freaked out by the word "beautiful" (when used for her in this context) and it causes her to think you are a creep, then she is paranoid and probably has severe anxiety issues.

The fact that you are at this point of (irrational) anxiety with a girl you've barely met is a cause for (of?) concern. You likely need to relax and fight off the early signs of one-itis.

I was worried you'd have that reaction to me posting that, which is why I'm trying to include as many disclaimers as possible - I'm hardly anxious about this, in all likelihood we're probably not even that compatible and she's just an attractive girl I won't have any chemistry with. Whatever, that doesn't bother me. I just like discussing theory, whether it's poker or programming or girls, and regardless of how significant in the grand scheme of things whatever point of theory we're discussing is (which in this case, is obviously not that significant).

My position is simply that I don't think there's anything wrong with making a concerted effort to not give off signals that could be misinterpreted on the other end and cause a negative reaction that you didn't intend to induce.

How does calling a girl sexy make you look like a douche ?? Also, I don't think the word choice really matters that much... If you're that concerned with how you come off to someone, you should be focusing more on how and when you say something as opposed to which synonym you use.

i have the brain power to focus on both at max capacity

i was just messin lol


anyways kinda got a situation goin on here wouldnt mind some input

so i called this chick i hadnt talked to in a while (like 3ish months) and ask her if she wants to get dinner sometime this week, she says yeah how about monday and im like aight sweet. then she calls today and says she cant go today because something about a doctors appointment and shes hurting too bad but she really wants to go lets reschedule. so im thinkin aight this is obviously no dice, but i say aight how about this weekend? shes like oh yeah sure but i cant on saturday cuz im hanging with my mom, but im free on sunday how about then? so im like aight sure maybe we can catch a movie before dinner what u think shes like ya sure. so i tell her to feel better and thats the end of the convo. then afterwards i realize, hey sunday is valentines day.

so what do u guys think of this? should i get her some chocolate or would that be too much? for the record id definitely like to date this chick shes very attractive (like an 8 8.5 / 10) and pretty dam cool too.

i may be reading too much into this, but hey not the first time ive done that haha

This is extremely impressive.

The fact that I don't think about things like that when I talk to people makes me think that I'm obviously a social fish who has somehow just run extremely hot.

She trapped you into being her valentines date. I would date her. She seems crafty, and I like that. I personally wouldn't, but I don't think it would be that bad if you did.

im assuming that last sentence is about the chocolates? i was leaning towards no but two of my roommates said ya, cuz they said that chicks love that ****. so im on the fence..

also, i was considering playfully bringing up the fact that we're going out on valentines day via text, however i dont think that would go over well with you guys so i prolly wont do it after u talk me out of it.


edit- and its not trapping me lol cuz i didnt have any other plans haha

i would post some drunken rant/outburst of feelings but it would probs come off as an emo rant so i wont. also it wont even begin to compare to a karakrant. suffice to say it was another crap night out. sigh.


woo i used suffice in a sentence.

Yeah, that last sentence was about the chocolates. Sorry I didn't write that more clearly. Also, it's pretty hard to playfully bring up the valentines day date thing with text. It's really easy to not come off as you intended with a text message. If you're going to bring that up, you should probably do it while speaking to her either in person or on the phone.

Yes, damn you Karak, somehow you've monopolized the very ****ing concept of ranting to the point where none of the rest of us feel like we can.

+1

whether the date being a "valentines date" is what you want or not, i think you have to realize thats exactly what it is. bringing it up in a text i think ruins the effect of the date for her, because shes a single girl going out with a guy on valentines day. i think she expects you to know what this date is to her.

as for chocolates, not completely necessary imo. i think you need to play it cooler than that. the chocolates might make it seem like you were looking forward to seeing her more than she was to seeing you. however, it could also, of course, be a clincher that you were thinking of her in a valentines-way. its up to your read on it.

but glgl.

what is it to her?

also, i agree i should play it cooler and not go chocolates, could be considered overboard -> trying too hard -> cue the romeo and juliet post a few pages back

An alternative to the chocolates could be those little sweethearts. It would come off as playful and fun.

Don't do the text though. Its unnecessary.

Any more help with the bolded bit? Still struggling here but I'm sure if I can get it to her on Friday morning/afternoon, I'm a huge favourite for some action Friday night. Don't want to give it away that I'm doing anything before though, it's gotta be sly and 100% suprise.

Solid, Give you a good laugh to begin the night

I wouldn't actually post it. Just give it to the reception or the roommates like you said.

i havent spoken to yeotajmu today (or the last few days since he got a girlfriend and is in lurrrrve), but his roommates have all told me a ****ing epic story from last night involving him and his lover that he must TR (if he can remember it)

After the Super Bowl, I asked a girl if she wanted to grab drinks sometime. She said yes.

Mostly posting this here so I can't pussy out and not call her.

Yeah, posting it is dumb.

I just discovered this thread. A+, will bookmark, will read more than SSNL.

Please skip all of my posts except for the ones where I snark on Karak.

^^

Also forget my buttsex story.