"Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes - Page 187

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"Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2014 Year of the Petite Brunette and Pissing On Dudes

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04-02-2010 , 11:38 AM

#4651

LT22

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 12,842

obviously bad table selection, BUT I don't think you are acting irrationally about being pissed off. She is immature and wants to get drunk and hookup with randoms. That's fine, I wouldn't be interested in her either (I'm 23).

I think you know how you want to proceed. I think you know how you should proceed.

Quote:

Well, I was more willing to pursue something with her than I'd like to let on.

I think I called you out on that

04-02-2010 , 11:43 AM

#4652

zugzwang83

banned

Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 3,588

Acting irrationally in what sense? I think you were acting irrationally in regards to the situation existing. I don't think your reaction is irrational at all.

edit for those texts: lol dont even bother responding to her anymore

04-02-2010 , 11:50 AM

#4653

br3nt00

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 3,664

i think you should be glad she told you

i'd be pissed if she didnt lol.

04-02-2010 , 11:51 AM

#4654

Karak

ELIte

Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 62,726

Obviously I'm canceling on tonight (even though it would be a "slam dunk" or whatever... I'd just feel ****ty afterwards). Although her last 2 texts did make me feel some sort of sympathy/less tilt tbh.

How do I handle the law prom situation ?

04-02-2010 , 11:55 AM

#4655

Karak

ELIte

Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 62,726

still havent responded to the last 2 texts just got another "Are you just gunna stop talking to me now?"

I want to respond, "I'm considering it. Unsure yet."

Are you guys sure I'm not overreacting to this? My initial assumption was that I was blowing it out of proportion.

04-02-2010 , 11:55 AM

#4656

LT22

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 12,842

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karak

Obviously I'm canceling on tonight (even though it would be a "slam dunk" or whatever... I'd just feel ****ty afterwards). Although her last 2 texts did make me feel some sort of sympathy/less tilt tbh.

How do I handle the law prom situation ?

That's what she wanted, don't fall for it!

You invited her to law prom?

04-02-2010 , 11:57 AM

#4657

LT22

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 12,842

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karak

She wasn't in a committed relationship with you, she can **** guys if she wants BUT she got blackout drunk + ****ed a guy she was texting you about telling you he was a creep.

You always talk of your moral standards with regards to women/life. She does not qualify. This is an easy play in your book. Other people might not care, but if you truly have these standards, she's done.

04-02-2010 , 12:00 PM

#4658

Karak

ELIte

Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 62,726

I think it's that plus the fact that she instantly ****ing told me that really annoyed me. I just don't understand why she would ever tell me that.

The fact taht she is remorseful definitely made me feel an inkling of sympathy/not quite as disgusted, but I don't know how far to take it.

Even if I did hang out with her tonight... if anything happened I'd feel like I was getting leftovers or something, rational or not.

04-02-2010 , 12:00 PM

#4659

zugzwang83

banned

Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 3,588

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karak

just dont respond at all! am i the only one who believes in rudeness anymore!?

04-02-2010 , 12:02 PM

#4660

Karak

ELIte

Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 62,726

I can't not respond. I need to give an up or down on tonight. I'm thinking of framing it as "I need to do work" (which is honestly true), but we all know she'll see through it.

04-02-2010 , 12:23 PM

#4661

yeotaJMU

Shines ELIte's Shoes

Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 22,414

its better that she told you.

like when my GF ****ed that dude over break, she didnt tell me, we started dating (3-4 weeks later) and then i found out a week after that. that is much ****tier imo.

04-02-2010 , 12:25 PM

#4662

yeotaJMU

Shines ELIte's Shoes

Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 22,414

also these are your options:

1. you look past it, continue down same path

2. you fool around with her this weekend then cut her off

3. you cut her off now

obv 1 would be dumb imo, 2 or 3 are good options. knowing you you should probably pick 3.

04-02-2010 , 12:25 PM

#4663

Karak

ELIte

Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 62,726

talking to yeota on gchat and he too is of the opinion that i need to cut this loose (although he added i should hook up with her this weekend and never talk to her again lol but i cant do that)

**** me for getting involved in this situation with a ****ing child

now i need to cancel on ****ing law prom too and there's no way im going with any of the options i have here and i have no other options otherwise that would make the trip into town

**** THIS ****

Last edited by Karak; 04-02-2010 at 12:26 PM. Reason: nice xpost

04-02-2010 , 12:35 PM

#4664

drukole34

enthusiast

Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 65

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karak

Well, I was more willing to pursue something with her than I'd like to let on. That's probably because yeota reads, and I'm also acutely aware that it's a) a bad idea, b) a really dumb idea, c) something I'm only really considering because I'm in a dry spell and sick of all the girls here and d) also a result of me (after nearly a year passing) not being over my ex-girlfriend yet.

However, even though I know all those things and know it's an irrational decision, I ignored it because it made me "feel good" and relieved my emotions from those other stressors. I obviously knew it had the possibility (or even probability) of backfiring, but I didn't think that would happen for a while or at least until I was out of here for the summer.

BG also made it abundantly and obviously clear she was interested, but that didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out. She was coming in this weekend and pushed for us to go out and hang out this afternoon and tonight and even insinuated overtones beyond that. I won't provide the details, but this one was so obvious it doesn't really need any type of authority to back up. I'm basing this off more than just waht she said too... I also heard things from other sources that confirmed all my assumptions.

So knowing it almost certainly had no long term prospects but could be a fun experience in the short run, I allowed it (foolishly) to continue down this path. I conveniently ignored her age and the gap in pretty much everything else.

So BG is drunk texting me alllll last night... first when she was sober complaining about this creepy guy that was hitting on her and wouldn't go away... and then continually telling me how excited she was to spend time with me tomorrow night and how she couldn't wait. I eventually went to bed.

Wake up this morning to a series of cryptic but hinting texts from her about her "bad night last night." She then continued to imply, quite blatantly, that she got blackout drunk and had sex with the "creeper guy" that had been harassing her earlier in the night. She then told me what a mistake it was and how she is "ashamed" of it.

This annoys me. I'm not making any moral judgments of anyone (edit - although I suppose on a later reading of this post I am). She owes me no loyalties or anything like that, obviously, and I'm under no illusions that she does. What pisses me off is that she felt the need to insta tell me about it this morning. If you do something like that, fine, whatever, you aren't dating anyone, but why would you pursue something hard with a guy all week, then tell him about that? And then further go and try to solidify plans to come over to his house and hang out with him and drink that night? Is she trying to make me feel like I'm getting Thursday night leftovers?

Beyond all that, I really have no interest in girls, now that I'm age 24, who go out and get blackout drunk, can't remember anything but know they had sex with a guy. It doesn't meet my moral standards, and I'd rather not date or even be remotely involved with anyone at a level like that. No offense to those of you that do do those things, but it's not for me and never will be. So now I feel a) a bit repulsed, b) a bit annoyed and c) like I wasted a ****ton of my time, and I'm not sure how to proceed.
Am I reacting irrationally? Be truthful, but please don't be a dick about it. I'm on super life tilt atm, because this **** unceasingly happens to me. The reason it tilts me so much is because I know it's MY fault for getting consciously involved in volatile situations with people I know I'm incompatible with. I'm table selecting really, really badly, getting a taste of something, pursuing it further and then lighting money on fire by wasting my time. I need to be concentrating on school and not stupid teenager ****ing social dynamics.

I'd just text her back talking about the bolded parts from above. It's honest, and although I am almost certain she will continue to text you in a an effort to show you she has "changed", at least she will know what's up. Also, I don't think this would inhibit you from hooking up/dating (not sure what you wanted out of the relationship) in the future.

As far as prom goes. I got no facking idea. GL on that one.

04-02-2010 , 12:43 PM

#4665

Karak

ELIte

Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 62,726

I texted: "I'm sorry, but I really don't know what to tell you right now."

I'm waiting for a reply to that text (she usually snap replies so clearly she's called time and is tanking).

Playing off that reply (no matter what it says), I'm going to say that it's probably better that we don't hang out tonight, and I'll probably ignore any replies that come after that until later tonight where I'll text back and cancel on law prom as well.

If she demands to know why... I don't really feel like telling her. She can figure it out herself.

04-02-2010 , 01:02 PM

#4666

daryn

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 26,913

are you interested in doing anything with this girl, yes or no. (i mean ideally, as in before this recent news)

04-02-2010 , 01:04 PM

#4667

Karak

ELIte

Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 62,726

Quote:

Originally Posted by daryn

are you interested in doing anything with this girl, yes or no. (i mean ideally, as in before this recent news)

yes obv or we wouldn't be having this discussion lol

04-02-2010 , 01:17 PM

#4668

br3nt00

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 3,664

me personally i cant standing getting leftovers, and i cant blame you for not wanting to see her anymore which seems harsh but that is what i would do too.

so there's nobody else you can go with? what about a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h, or i?

04-02-2010 , 01:19 PM

#4669

Karak

ELIte

Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 62,726

no. there's no other options here. even if they were options (and they may very well be), i'd much rather stay home and play video games and/or study.

04-02-2010 , 01:19 PM

#4670

The Evil Polka Man

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 4,132

Just throwing the idea out there, but if you wanted to try to pursue it for any reason and have nothing to lose, what if you met up but did nothing further? It would let you figure out if she actually was upset or not over what happened as opposed to just looking for empty sympathy, but sends the clear message that you're not going to be pushed over by empty apologizes and that you are looking for something beyond that. Plus, you give an impression that you're forgiving so it will not seem that you just got angry and ran away.

Theoretically it doesn't seem like a bad idea, but I'm terrible at this stuff.

04-02-2010 , 01:23 PM

#4671

Karak

ELIte

Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 62,726

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Evil Polka Man

I considered this, and here are the counterpoints I thought of:

1) My time is very valuable (finals in 3 weeks so I don't get to go out much), and I really can't afford to waste it on something that is unlikely to go anywhere.

2) I'm not sure how I'd react to her. I'm pretty ****ing deflated right now. I'd probably just feel disgusted the whole time.

3) Let's be honest... this probably wasn't going anywhere before, and it's definitely not going anywhere now.

04-02-2010 , 01:25 PM

#4672

Dankenstein

adept

Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 966

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karak

Considering you two aren't dating she really has nothing to feel guilty about. With that being said, the fact that she told you the next day means that she does feel guilty, and it also means that she is really into you and sees you as long term relationship material.

04-02-2010 , 01:27 PM

#4673

Karak

ELIte

Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 62,726

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dankenstein

This is a very good point, but I don't know how to incorporate it into my analysis. I'm being serious. What do you think?

04-02-2010 , 01:28 PM

#4674

Karak

ELIte

Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 62,726

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karak

This is a very good point, but I don't know how to incorporate it into my analysis. I'm being serious. What do you think?

Actually I do know how to incorporate it. If she feels so strongly that she feels guilty, then why did she engage in the behavior in the first place? Why did she put herself in that position if from her moral standpoint (and from mine which should be clearly obvious to her) she thought it was "disgusting" and "shameful" behavior?

I suppose my problem is at my age I don't need to be dating people who make mistakes like that so casually. Especially ONE DAY before she was going to see me. Am I barking up the wrong tree?

04-02-2010 , 01:35 PM

#4675

LT22

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 12,842

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dankenstein

so she basically feels she cheated on Karak, great

what's to stop her from doing it in a committed relationship?

EDIT: The whole age gap/maturity gap is also a factor in my suggesting to cut ties with her. You knew it was a risky venture from the start and now she has proven the gap.

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