having it delivered by "post" is too much

getting her "flatmates" involved is probably a bad idea

not sure how you can play it. could you leave it at her door without good certainty that someone would take it? if so, then do that.

if not... i dunno.

however i read all of your posts in a british accent and it makes me happy.

Glad it amuses you

I'm leaning towards asking the lady in the reception to treat it as post for me. I could then subtley drop a hint to her, "i was getting some mail in reception earlier and your name was on the parcels list btw". That could come out horribly obvious, but if said right should work...

Teaching girls racquetball or taking them to bar trivia with a few of your friends is so massively +ev for your weiner that it is staggering.

Ok since I live in a quasi-totalitarian country I religiously follow the topics and since she's working and not a student I posted in EDF but didn't get much response there so here goes .

___
Need some advice. Might sound like a pussy writing this but whatever.

Met this very nice Brazilian girl a week ago and spent basically two full days together (no sex just making out etc).. Thing is, she was only visiting Europe and is now back in Brazil. We've been talking on MSN and having webcam conversations etc (even played "Never have I ever" when being like 9000 miles away from each other, wtf am I doing) since she got back and the conversations have increased my liking of her.

I've been pondering the thought of going and visiting her in Brazil, for a couple of reasons. One, I'd really like to get to know her better, It's snowy and ****ty here right now and I'd really like to get some sun and I'd like to go to Brazil since I haven't been there yet.
Now, I don't know the language (Portuguese) and she's starting work again soon (only working 50% but still) so the time we actually hang out together while I'm hypothetically there might be quite limited.

So we've been talking about it for a while and we've both been hinting on the idea that I really should go and see her..
Now a couple of things. I think I'm starting to get a oneitis for a girl that lives on the other side of the globe, that I've only met a few days etc etc. So I've decided to try and snap out of it and, honestly, I just think going down there would lower my chances for us keeping in touch since that just looks so incredibly needy and "you're the only one for me" etc.

So I've finally (took a week hahah) snapped out of my fairytale (or..?) world and would now need to get some advice on how to proceed. I'd like to meet her again since she's really awesome but I'm not gonna try to get into a long distance relationship or whatever since that'll never work.

Should I just say how it is to her face (online, something like "I like you and w/e but we're living on opposite sides of the globe right now"), try to meet up with her next time we're both traveling (we both love to travel) OR still go down and visit her and see it more as a vacation than a date or whatever..zzz. Or maybe your advice!

Some more random info that might be helpful. I'm currently studying, will be done in 1½ year or so, she's working -> traveling -> working -> traveling more or less.

If you read this far and want even more info, here's a follow-up post I made.



Thanks

I saw the advice given to you in EDF (this is a disaster in the making and not worth your time/effort since absolutely nothing substantive can possibly come of it) and I think you should follow it.

Had a super bowl party, my roommate's girlfriend's roommate came w/ her and later that night when everyone left I was like "hey roommate's girlfriend, how come you never told me you had a gorgeous roommate?" (I'd never met her before) and she was like "aww you thought so?" and I said "yeah she's really pretty." Roommate's girlfriend says "can I tell her you said that?"

My play?

it doesnt really matter what you say. she's telling her either way.

Yeah, probably.

I told her to go for it. My roommate then told me today that his gf told her roommate I thought she was "beautiful." SERIOUSLY? YOU USED THAT WORD? I explicitly told her to not use "gorgeous" and go with something like "pretty" instead and she decides "beautiful" is an acceptable substitute?!?!?!?

Pretty sure I'm done now.

Update on the girl I posted about a few days ago:

Went to her house around 5pm. A female friend of hers was there when I first arrived. Introductions, hugs hello, etc etc. Had a good conversation for a bit, then her friend left for her job about an hour after I got there. Girl and I smoked, ate some dessert she had baked, watched some TV.

After getting to know her better, I am definitely interested in her. I'm typically really picky, especially when it comes to relationship material, and I would absolutely consider that route if the opportunity arose.

While we were hanging out, she casually mentioned her boyfriend. I played it completely cool, as it was part of a story she was telling and didn't come across like a big deal. but it did halt any plans for progressing the relationship for the day (definitely a bad precedent for if I'm ever in his position imo).

I left around 9, as we both had separate plans for the night. We left off with a hug and her saying "this was fun lets hang out again soon". Since then I haven't talked to her but she has left a couple messages on my facebook wall.


This is the type of girl I don't run into everyday, and I'd really like to not **** it up. I typically don't do very well with girls that I consider relationship material, so input on the best way to proceed would be awesome.

Well, you need to establish if the possibility of breaking her up with her boyfriend exists. I'm typically not optimistic about that happening, and her dropping the boyfriend bomb in casual conversation probably means they've been dating for awhile which doesn't make your chances look good.

I assume you are just being sarcastic here.

It actually came across to me as serious, though it certainly is confusing to me too.

The longer they have been dating the better his chances are. I'd feel much better about my odds trying to get a girl out of a 4-year relationship as opposed to a 6 month relationship, assuming both are serious relationships. Obviously if the short term relationship is just casual or touch-and-go, then things are different.

Half-joking, I guess she might be flattered but I think she's just as likely to be turned off by someone she just met having such a strong (as projected by use of the word "beautiful", anyway) reaction to her.

Why? I feel like the more of a fixture he is in her life, the less likely she is to throw her relationship away for some other guy (unless she's unhappy in her relationship to begin with).

Granted, I'm hardly an expert.

The boyfriend came up in the context of "what did you do today?". "blah blah, went to class, saw my bf, blah blah". My inference from the conversation was that their relationship wasn't very serious and she just moved down here so its not long term. Her facebook status even says single

She is a friend from years back (junior high/freshman year of HS), so a lot of it was life catching up.

I don't think the bf is all that huge of a deal, and if I seemed like a better catch I think she'd drop him for me without me having to actually be a direct wedge. But again, girls with bfs are definitely not my speciality so maybe I'm way off base here.

Never tell a girl she's pretty as your first move.

any comments about this goofy?

agreed.

i would go with hot, or smokin', or something like that..

I wouldn't mention my opinion on her looks at all, if she is really hot she pbb hears that all the time and doesn't care.

.

i think gorgeous, beautiful, etc make ppl cringe
i think smokin, sexy, hot, etc make you look like i douche
therefore i use cute, attractive and good.

also it looks like TUTS won the other day with his TR about hooking up with the slut from the bar

until my wiener falls off.
#condomfail

Haha, haven't been keeping up with that thread lately, replied there

I agree w/ this on all counts, which is why I'm mortified she used "beautiful".

Cool, but this has no application to his situation at all. And I disagree with "never." Don't do it most of the time, sure, but there are situations where it's a fine move if it is staged accordingly.

People in long relationships who put themselves in the position to meet someone else and spend time with them are generally getting very tired of their relationship and starting to see all the flaws in their partner. They are hitting "decision time" and are probably looking to bail. See: A in my situation.

People in 6 month serious relationships are generally still locked in balls out honeymoon stage and won't be shaken by Brad Pitt. Honeymoon stage is incredible intoxicating.

In his situation, however, it seems to be very casual so he shouldn't have much trouble.

You're way overthinking. Who gives a ****. It shouldn't affect anything. Although you probably should have been cocky with her roommate and given a coy reply. Just don't turn into a blubbering mass of insecurity the next time you see the girl. When you use a word like "mortified" this is exactly what I am afraid of. Who gives a **** what she thinks about your word choice? I sure wouldn't care. If a girl is going to judge me based off of a second hand one-word adjective choice, then I don't want anything to do with her anyways.