謝謝.

it seems as if the consensus is pretty solid in what I should do. I think I've made my decision (or had it made for me by the relationship dynamic), but I'll probably still wait until my class is over in a few weeks so I don't feel like sleeping all day when I should be doing work.

TLDR, if you have that many "issues" with your gf the decision is easy. Simple questions, are you happier with her or without? Can you see a future?

Those questions will provide you with the confirmation you need.

1) you're a reformed gambler/drinker/degenerate (so this has all happened already and is past)
2) and you have a therapist

I'd say you're 55 and living in a halfway house, not a college kid

To quote more wisdom from Jay-Z:


"If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems..."

I feel sorry for you man.
I think you making this thread just proves you know you have to break up.

I'm in a similar situation right now, have been before, and probably will be again.
Break ups suck. There's no other way to put it.

I think you are not physically attracted to her, among other things that you have mentioned and you know its best for you both to break up.

Also, shes probably having sex with you not out of wanting to exactly but rather out of guilt.

why do you think she may feel guilty? I'm sorry to hear you're going through the same thing.

so I have good news to report and bad. I broke up with her a few days ago. She was more shocked than I thought and apparently deleted me on FB immediately after (I resolved not to check what my relationship status was according to mark zuckerburg until the next day).

Then in the two days following she initiated more text conversations with me in a 24 hour period (it seemed, at least) than she ever did when we were together.

I agreed to meet her at a coffee place tonight because she said she didn't handle herself the way she wanted to because of the shock. I think she'll try to extend the relationship, but I've resolved that no matter what happens I won't see her again after today if she indicates she wants to do anything other than tie up loose threads or be friends.

The guilt thing I just meant she was building it up all day, and then felt she had to have sex when the time came around, even if she may not have wanted to.

I think deleting on FB thing is huge immaturity and just proves your decision was a good one.

fyp

Ha, deleting on FB/Twitter is so petty. My ex just did this to me last week. She blocked me or something on Twitter, then unblocked me and protected her tweets. But she didn't unfriend me on Facebook.

Then I text her today since we hadn't talked in a couple weeks and she said "Who is this?" so I guess she deleted my number. LOL. Weird, immature, and petty. And she's 5 years older than me.

But yeah good move breaking up with her. I tried to string things along with my ex and it was a bad idea. Just get it over with and try to move on.

You're still stringing things along. You texted her when she's blocked or deleted you on all social media.

Technically yeah I guess, I was just checking on her not trying to reconcile. But she didn't block me on FB.

I should probably delete her number too in case I get the urge to text her again.

Deleting someone from FB doesn't seem petty to me. In fact, it seems pretty healthy if you're looking to cut ties with a person and move on. What seems unhealthy is to break up with someone, assume that person is handling it poorly, and then decide to "check in on her" by texting her. You were the one being "weird, immature, and petty." Just move on and let her move on. Don't bother her, esp. just weeks after you broke up with her. wtf is wrong with you?

Valid points. It wasn't a nasty breakup though. Obviously I'm not over it.

OP, don't make the mistakes I made.

Just about any other girl has to be less maintenance then this one. You had fun, things have changed, time to GTFO!

So we agreed to be friends when we met again at the coffee shop (although she wanted to still date if possible until she transfers to another school in the spring semester).

Then after we read together at panera for one day I get an email about how she loves me and can't just be friends, and was willing to change all of the surface issues that she could identify, etc.

I finally emailed her back last night basically saying that I hadn't changed my mind about being friends after she emailed me again. Now I haven't heard from her since (over 24 hours).

It's weird.. I felt mildly exhilarated at times (after what I think is finally the end) for the prospect of dating better girls, but on the drive home from work today (with my night class over) it seemed depressing to just go home alone for the first time in over a year. I'm looking forward to school starting again in the fall.