i have no idea why i just wrote all that

We used to take a white board and use a tally system for various cleaning activities. That way when 2 or 3 people have a lot of tally's and 1 guy doesn't you can all get on his ass.

If that won't work have a sit down and ask why the **** they won't clean up and that is isn't unreasonable for you to ask that.

If THAT doesn't work I would have no problem with you dumping all their trash and dishes outside their bedroom (or in it if they leave it open).

This is pretty much a non-issue, because my home isn't full of unreasonable people. Of course, I don't have kids yet...

Thanks, Chuang-Tzu.

I'm not saying the kid should slash the other guy's tires or something. I'm saying that disrespect of me -- to the point of saying "lol, why should I wash my dishes when I know you'll do them for me?" -- requires an answer.

Well, sir, you should do your dishes because if I have to do them, then in return, I won't do you the favor of keeping my stereo down at 6am when I get up to go to work. Or whatever.

Yes, obviously the right answer is "don't live with douchebags," but this guy said he's already contracted to live with them next year.

Instead, let's suppose that your roommate blacks out and pukes somewhere new in the apartment every night and never cleans it up. Where do you draw the line?


(a) that's not very good retribution
(b) have a bigger dick
(c) re-vengeance. Yes! An arms race. This always ends in detente, but we have to get there. Fights are the best friend-makers. Sometimes it takes people not liking each other for awhile, then everyone realizing how ridiculous the situation is and going "wait, let's stop this." Part of your disarmament can include them doing the dishes.

Indirectly, sometimes.

They don't have to come to that conclusion themselves. You can help them by telling them "if you do X, I will stop doing Y. I don't like doing Y, but I don't understand why something as simple as X is such a big freakin' problem here. It takes less than 10 seconds to open the dishwasher, insert dish, close dishwasher."

Karak, I totally understand where you're coming from. But the kid getting pushed around on the playground has to fight back at some point, or he'll get pushed around forever.

I thought about this, but didn't know whose dishes they were. If they belong to the roommates, yes I'd do this. Alternately, skeet shooting the dishes could work. If they're yours, you should take them away and store them in your room. Use as needed.

Purchase plastic plates, cups, bowls and silverware. Make sure you never clean anything of theirs up. They will run out of clean dishes to use and will either have to do dishes or eat off of dirty ****. I did this two years ago with my roommates and just made sure I didn't spend any time in the kitchen because they just piled all of their dishes up until they had nothing left that they could use. They finally started doing dishes.

Going to give this a shot first.

If that doesn't work, going to do this.

Good choices imo. The only problem with the second is that it could start a war, which could really be a problem if you're planning on living with them next year.

Beat - My roommate put a bunch of dishes on my bed one day
Brag - I ****ed a girl in his bed as retaliation
Variance - her appearance.

When I was in undergrad I once heard a bunch of giggling coming from the direction of my room.

I walked up there and saw yeotajmu, completely naked, humping my pillow with all my friends laughing their asses off standing around egging him on.

I punched him in the back and he got off my bed. I made them all swear to never tell my gf about it because regardless of whether I cleaned or not, she'd never feel comfortable in my bed again. (She hated yeotajmu. She once told me he was a "very bad person" lololol)

lolol the girl that I'm talking to right now HAAAAATES my roommate. It's interesting.

my ex hated a good number of my friends... but had a special place in her heart for yeota

lol one time we were talking about what we'd do if we found out we had 24 hours left to live and yeota (jokingly, i assume, but you never know with him) goes, "I guess I'd just go around raping chicks."

and my ex was there and was like WHAT THAT'S SO OFFENSIVE AND HORRIBLE

and yeota snap replies, "dont worry i wouldn't get you... just your friends."

looong silence followed by hysterical but cautious laughter

Does your roommate have a mutual dislike for her?

I absolutely despise one of my roommates girlfriends and she feels the same about me. The difference between us is that she is 100% psychotic and I'm not sure what he sees in her.

I actually meant to make a post about her anyways, so here goes:

-She has cheated on him multiple times. They've broken up and got back together a lot. Kinda like middle school, except add 7 years.
-She locked herself in our bathroom and threatened to kill herself. (fwiw I did tell her she could use my razor if she wanted, so that probably didn't help)
-She threatened to kill me and my parents while she was drunk one night, not sure where my parents came from but I guess it comes with the 'being a psycho' territory.
-She bit one of our mutual friends, twice. Both times she punctured his skin through his clothing. Roommate and friend can no longer hang out together when she is around.
-She headbutted and clawed (lol wut) my roommate the last time she broke up with him.

Our other mutual friends dislike her and have insisted that he break up with her, but he continues to date her. Worst of all, she stays here almost every night and they hang out in the living room together from like 10pm onward which basically means that I can't be out there or I'll likely start throwing things at her.

I can't stop quoting stuff IRL. asdf.lkasdfkjasdklfjsafdjlk that's what I get for sitting around and watching videos and stuff while I play cards.

My favorites lately have to be
- Drinking Out of Cups video
- Any FotC song
- The Player Hater's Ball
- Mitch Hedberg standup

I literally cannot get this **** out of my head. It's amusing, but annoying @ the same time.

Coolstorybro.jpg

Actually, my roommate is oblivious. That actually makes it hilarious to me, since he and I have been kind of annoying each other lately (stress from school etc)

lolol, your buddy's ex must have been amazing in the sack imo

1) FotC is absolutely amazing live. If you ever get a chance, go see them for sure. Their opener was a comedian who was in one of the scenes in an elevator, forget his name though.
2) Mitch is hilarious. jr/sr years of high school, my friends and I would almost talk to each other in his jokes. I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

Exactly my thoughts. Too bad she isn't his ex anymore, now they're bf/gf.

Sigh.

I have never seen FotC live, but I definitely will if they're anywhere in the Southeast.

I do the same thing w/ Mitch jokes. Have you heard the laugh-stop one? He basically does semi-improv the whole time, but he's baked as all **** the whole time. It's also the only one (that I remember) in which a dude plays the stand-up bass during the whole routine.

first of all we were all wasted and it was a naked night.
second of all i was not the only naked one on your bed.
third of all thats what you get for jumping in the shower fully clothed.
fourth of all lol alcohol.

bwaahahaha i remember that

Yeah, he makes a joke about the bass in that one, right? Something like..'When the jokes starting going down, bring up the bass, Chuck.'

Yeah that one. There are some really funny fails in that CD. Mostly b/c he's high.

- Don't **** up the bass tonight Chuck, b/c we're on a CD.
- I dressed up for the CD
- Sometimes I wish I could have a suitcase handcuffed to my wrist.... alright... (joke fails)... That's not a full joke there
- My friend told me he liked cherries, but I waited a minute to see if he was gonna say "tomatoes," but it turns out he likes cherries just... alright, that joke was ridiculous.

I did get a chance to see Mitch about 2 weeks before he died. He was hilarious. RIP

just got this text from Karak:


irl karak ladies and gentleman, can't beat a girl 1 on 1 in basketball bwahahaha

"she fouled me constantly though"

****in skirt. Foul her back.

Pretty sure I would still make 80% of layups with a girl fouling me.

Wow.

There are some pretty physical girls out there.

Sigh. Okay an update on the roommate situation. Roommate C was having friends over to watch the Messi vs. Arsenal game, so he broke down and picked up all the **** in the living room and did 2 loads of dishes. This isn't going to turn out well if he always ends up doing the work!

soccer is dumb