My girlfriend for 5 and a half years just broke up with me over the phone. We’re both 22. I obviously loved her and she says she still loves me. She is going to med school next year and I am going to be two hours away in the town where I go to college (she just graduated). She is at her house right now which is also two hours away from here.

In the past two days, she has been saying over the phone how she tries to please everybody and worries a lot about what other people think. She is sometimes afraid to ask people questions in fear that she might hurt their feelings. She brought up an example where she was shopping and didn’t buy something because she thought I might not like it. I told her to not worry about what other people think. There was no other mention of me in context of this problem.

Today, she called me and said that she wants to take a “break” from our relationship because she wants to not worry about what other people think. She said that I influence her more than anyone else and she could not be on her own without breaking up with me. When I asked her if she wanted to see other people she explained that she wants to be alone and can’t see herself being with anyone other than me in the long run. She said it was temporary. I asked her why she had to break up with me, then, since I was willing to leave her alone and not call her for awhile. She said that in order for me to not always be influencing her, she had to take a break. I told her that was something she had to battle mentally…I don’t let her influence me to the point that it’s bothersome. I asked her how long is temporary and she had no answer. I also asked how if we got back together, she could keep me from “influencing” her so much to which she also had no answer.

I’m devastated and it was completely unexpected. I have an even harder time accepting it since she had to do it over the phone. Is this the strangest reason you’ve ever heard for a break up? How should I interpret this?

she's lying

Yea shes ****ing someone else. Tough break.

Doesn't really matter how you interpret it, you aren't going to debate her into not breaking up with you.

Whats her number,

Shes trying to see if she can do better before she answers the marriage question. If you're okay with being somewhat of a backup plan/top of her dating ladder then let it play out and get back with her in a bit. If you aren't, move on and do better than her out of spite.

Sounds like a tough one.

I have no idea what she means, but it sounds like she wants to regain her independence and doesn't want to be in a relationship with you any more.

My advice:
-Give yourself time to heal before jumping back into anything new.
-Getting back together rarely works IMO because you're both still the same people and it's unlikely that either of you will change as a result of this breakup.
-Spend some time hanging out with your friends which can help take your mind off it for awhile.

Man I was in the same exact boat 8 months ago. Had me girl of 5.5 years end it over the phone on my way to work. I really feel for you. If you need to talk to someone feel free to pm me. Best part is two weeks ago she finally told me the truth why she did it. So odds are she isn't telling the truth now but will eventually.

In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the ****ing rake.

This is very good advice.

tell her your pregnanat...



no wait.....

Go find a good girl friend who has lots of other hot friends. Hang out. Get your friend to subtly slip that you just broke up with your girlfriend. It's like shooting fish in a barrel man.

You might as well, she's def ****ing someone else.

I just went through something similar with my gf. It was on my part needing a break from her. One piece of advice, you need to not let her go if you are that crazy about her. The more time away the more she will enjoy her independence / getting hit on by other guys. You need to keep trying to win her back and eventually she will see her donk play.

PM if ya wanna talk.

lol

let it go just surround yourself by friends/keep busy

This is usually the standard response to these types of threads.

I don't have any good advice other than to keep your good guy (and other girls who are friends) close to you. I would not recommend going out and getting hammered/hooking up with other people, just don't lock yourself in your room all day and cry about it.

Your situation sucks, but you are only 22 and have a long life ahead of you no matter what happens with your girl, don't forget about that.

I wish you the best!

**** that ****. Here's your daily schedule:

10 am - Noon: Go to gym. Get jacked.

Noon - 5 pm: Go to tanning salon. Get tan.

5 pm - 7 pm: Huge steak dinner. Get full.

7 pm - 9 pm: Crown and Red Bulls. At least 5. Get tipsy.

9 pm - 10 pm: Power Hour. Must be Coors so you can vent. Get drunk.

10:01 pm: Shot of everclear. Get wasted

10:02 pm - 2 am: Go to bar/club. Grind your dick on every piece of pussy that walks through that door. Get horny.

2:01 am - Whenever: Pick your choice meat for the night and **** her until she's well done. Get laid.

Next morning: Do her again. Then rinse (seriously, really scrub) and repeat since you probably forgot doing it all anyway.


You won't remember high school sweetheart after 2 weeks of this and you'll be a better man for it. She'll be all jealous that you're jacked, tan, well fed, drunk, and banging chicks or some combo of the above at all hours of the day. I have another regimen for when she inevitably comes back to your newfound awesome self if you are interested.

this is the best advice i've ever read on the internet.

Possible that she feels like she is too good for you now and is trying to sugarcoat it. Which sucks.

To be honest though unless you have a really strong and healthy relationship going into med school then you're going to have a tough time. Most people don't make it to Christmas.

Might save you the trouble later.

On a serious note OP, it sucks and I can't imagine how devastated you are.

That being said, I doubt she's changing her mind anytime soon, so the best thing to do is to try to move on. Go out, be with friends, try to have some fun. It's just part of moving on I guess. Good luck.

The whole reason people go to med school is so they can dump whatever person they were with before and find someone better after they become a doctor. You were ****ed from the getgo.

whatever you do, don't become a psycho stalker-ish ex-boyfriend

Med school is the rake.

Yeah but it's like the rake in a really juicy high stakes game.



Alright, no more analogies.

Yeah it's like that game you get into because it sounds impressive to others, like, oh I don't know, no limit 7-card stud 8-or-better high/low Triple-Draw, but you don't really enjoy.


Oh wait I confused it with law school. I'm sure some people actually enjoy being doctors.