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Old 10-30-2009, 06:48 PM   #46
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

i have a hard time asking girls out at my school. I think its because I have known them since 5th grade or something, and it just seems weird to go for one of them. I never really wanted a girlfriend or anything and dont think i do yet, but soon I might go for one
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Old 10-30-2009, 06:55 PM   #47
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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Originally Posted by mrregan View Post
this is actually a pretty good question that a lot of people go about in the wrong fashion.

Usually when a guy/girl are dating each other one of them ends up asking the other one if they are official. Naturally they are gonna say yes. But what does that mean? A lot of people treat this as if an entirely new set of rules of engagment come into play and seemingly act differently since they are "official."

* acting differently is very vague for a set of conditions that each individual person puts on a relationship

In my honest opinion you should never have to ask the other one about becoming official. Its something that just kind of happens. Being a couple should basically mean you are exclusive with one another, rather facebook saying you are a couple, or you two saying you are a couple to your friends.

I guess what im trying to say in short is you don't want to feel like becoming a couple is some huge step that has to be taken...hopefully its something that is gradually worked into. For every "possible couple" this could be a short amount of time or a longer amount of time based on your chemistry with each other and other variables


hope that helps

cliffs: it should just happen, and when it does you should be able to recognize that its happened
What you're saying is IT should'nt have to be asked" because its a sign of desperation or because it looks as lowly attempt of something in the other's eyes??
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Old 10-30-2009, 08:12 PM   #48
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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so i am in a kind of weird spot i don't know how to correctly deal with. recently i've started spending a lot more time with a girl i've known for about year, when i met her she had a boyfriend so i never really thought about it until now. we have had class together 5 days a week for last 2 semester. i feel like i'm getting fairly mixed messages from her, sometimes i feel like we are acting very couple-y and i'm guessing this is noticeable to our circle of friends.

on the other hand she seems to tend to invite other people along when we go and do things and we usually end up alone by virtue of walking hanging out right after class or other people not being able to come when she invites them. she also seems like the kind of girl who would be really bad at flirting so i wouldn't take it as a rejecting that she isn't making it obvious. i am considering just asking her flat out about it but don't want to then make it awkward when we see each other every day. not sure if i adequately conveyed the entire situation but any help appreciated
I would just up the ante with the touchy feely flirting. When you sit down next to her put your arm around her and look in her eyes with a smile and ask how she's doing. When you say something jokingly to her hold her hand, etc, etc. Things should progress from there under normal circumstances.
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Old 10-30-2009, 11:28 PM   #49
 
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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Originally Posted by dalerobk View Post
I would just up the ante with the touchy feely flirting. When you sit down next to her put your arm around her and look in her eyes with a smile and ask how she's doing. When you say something jokingly to her hold her hand, etc, etc. Things should progress from there under normal circumstances.
meh, this could easily wind up being awkward and it's a move that requires total confidence to pull off successfully. If this isn't something you already do (not necessarily w/ her but with other girls in general), prob a bad idea to try to force it.
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Old 10-31-2009, 01:00 AM   #50
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

so i've asked the girl out for dinner two saturdays in a row and though i think she's still interested in me based on the evidence i gave earlier (she's flirted back), she's been "busy" those nights. should i ask her out again next week, or should i stop for a while cause maybe i seem desperate?
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Old 10-31-2009, 01:34 AM   #51
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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so i've asked the girl out for dinner two saturdays in a row and though i think she's still interested in me based on the evidence i gave earlier (she's flirted back), she's been "busy" those nights. should i ask her out again next week, or should i stop for a while cause maybe i seem desperate?
"When are you free to hang out?"

Let her pick the time. She's probably busy, you probably are too, etc, etc. You need to be flexible and plan ahead, etc etc. If she shuts you down here, which she probably won't, then you need to make a decision, but I mean, do the standard thing.
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Old 10-31-2009, 01:54 AM   #52
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

so i'm fairly sure my post is nullified as of now, we were supposed to hang out 3 hours ago and it seems she blew me off. obv cause it is halloween everyone i know is out at frat parties getting drunk and way too late to get on lists now, tonight is gonna suck

/emo
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Old 10-31-2009, 02:19 AM   #53
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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Originally Posted by furyshade View Post
so i'm fairly sure my post is nullified as of now, we were supposed to hang out 3 hours ago and it seems she blew me off. obv cause it is halloween everyone i know is out at frat parties getting drunk and way too late to get on lists now, tonight is gonna suck

/emo
Don't worry about it. Tomorrow will have a ton more halloween parties. If she blew you off then she is not worth the time. Do not text her or anything, wait for her to say something. Go to a party tomorrow and get laid or at least flirt and get numbers.
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Old 10-31-2009, 12:16 PM   #54
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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Originally Posted by TurnUpTheSun View Post
Fail.

after class:
me:how did studying for that test go
girl: it went alright, its not gonna be too hard
me: o thats good....man im hungry (im sooooo smooth)
girl: lolz, im tired
me: wanna go get foodz? (nice segway, huh?)
girl: nah, i think im just gonna make something at home. thanks for asking though.
me: (fml fml fml) mbn, i have no food at home.
girl: blah blah blah
me: are you going out tomorrow night?
girl: yea!11! are you?
me: (i say yea and then tell her about a party and then dont invite her cause im a fckng retard jioesagjioseajfioeehrinweaiuofn)
girl: aw that sounds cute
----get to point of walk where we go seperate ways-----
girl: dont you have to go this way to get food
me: nah, i think im gonna go home first
girl: (this kid is a fckng retard) alright see ya friday
me: i hate my life

how would you not expect this to happen, your asking a poker forum how to get girls
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Old 10-31-2009, 12:41 PM   #55
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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Originally Posted by RAMPAGEPRODIGY View Post
What you're saying is IT should'nt have to be asked" because its a sign of desperation or because it looks as lowly attempt of something in the other's eyes??
i dont think its desperate at all. I imagine people do it because they either want a title, or they just want to know where the other person stands. I just think that when you do things change.

When you ask people about dating versus being a couple they usually say there is a large discrepency between the two dont they? I just feel like when you ask, sometimes you make that leap when really neither of you are prepared for it. But i could be totally wrong and its definitely just an opinion of mine
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Old 10-31-2009, 01:19 PM   #56
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

Posting here instead of EDF because they don't understand situations about people younger than 35.

So I met a girl at a party last night (European Pop Star costume ftw) and she's absolutely adorable. We're talking for a bit initially and having a great time, when one of my good mates comes and cockblocks me on purpose. (He later tells me he's been trying to set something up with her even though he has a gf).

Well **** that. So I "accidentally" run into her when I go to get another drink. We start talking again and it goes fantastic. Other than not being foreign she's got just about everything else. As the party winds down a little she asks me for my number which I'm tempted to snapcall but play it cool.

So here's my question. Since she's not really connected to my group of friends I'd rather do something other than "hey are you going to XYZ's tonight? cool see you there". I have two lines

(1) Just bring her to some party
(2) Do something else

Frankly I'd rather do something else. She's also a musician (although not the like emo/weird type fortunately) so if there were any decent concerts coming up that would be the clear answer. Would asking her if she wants to play together some time be weird?
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Old 10-31-2009, 03:56 PM   #57
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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Originally Posted by il_martilo View Post
Posting here instead of EDF because they don't understand situations about people younger than 35.

So I met a girl at a party last night (European Pop Star costume ftw) and she's absolutely adorable. We're talking for a bit initially and having a great time, when one of my good mates comes and cockblocks me on purpose. (He later tells me he's been trying to set something up with her even though he has a gf).

Well **** that. So I "accidentally" run into her when I go to get another drink. We start talking again and it goes fantastic. Other than not being foreign she's got just about everything else. As the party winds down a little she asks me for my number which I'm tempted to snapcall but play it cool.

So here's my question. Since she's not really connected to my group of friends I'd rather do something other than "hey are you going to XYZ's tonight? cool see you there". I have two lines

(1) Just bring her to some party
(2) Do something else

Frankly I'd rather do something else. She's also a musician (although not the like emo/weird type fortunately) so if there were any decent concerts coming up that would be the clear answer. Would asking her if she wants to play together some time be weird?
First off no, asking her to play sometime is not weird at all.

If you decided to go with option 1, instead of saying "cya there" you could try "Hey well do you need a ride?". That way you are taking here there, so you get to spend some time and get the flirting in and ahead of any guy that will try and hit on her while at the party.

If you go with option 2, well I think you idea is pretty good. Just make sure you can at least play an instrument. Jam sessions are always fun. Like I said make sure you can play, if not oh well it won't kill your chances. Also if you can find out a song that she finds romantic or is trying to learn or her favorite song at the moment, then try and learn it. This will increase your chances of getting some during the jam session. Also depending on the mood is when you are jamming, sit close to her I mean not freakishly close, but close enough where if everything goes right you can lean in and kiss her.
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Old 10-31-2009, 03:56 PM   #58
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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Originally Posted by BamBam192 View Post
Don't worry about it. Tomorrow will have a ton more halloween parties. If she blew you off then she is not worth the time. Do not text her or anything, wait for her to say something. Go to a party tomorrow and get laid or at least flirt and get numbers.
alright, well i of course continue to be ridiculously confused by the situation. we were supposed to meet at around 8pm, she calls me at midnight. we hang out at her apartment, decide to try to make a chariot out of a bike, a shopping cart and some duct tape (this is why this girl is awesome) then go watch a move at my place at like 1am.

naturally i assume this is the positive sign i am looking for but i felt like i just never got any sort of body language tell that even remotely said she was interested during the movie. not to say seemed like she was actively avoiding me, just never felt i had a spot to do anything. either she is just totally oblivious or i am just a huge pussy and never went for it, probably some mix of both.
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Old 10-31-2009, 04:26 PM   #59
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

got girl's number after class.
she tells me to text her that night (she was going one place, i was going another)
i text her.
didnt get a response.
so tonight me and my friends are going to a bar.
do i send another text?
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Old 10-31-2009, 04:58 PM   #60
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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Originally Posted by furyshade View Post
alright, well i of course continue to be ridiculously confused by the situation. we were supposed to meet at around 8pm, she calls me at midnight. we hang out at her apartment, decide to try to make a chariot out of a bike, a shopping cart and some duct tape (this is why this girl is awesome) then go watch a move at my place at like 1am.

naturally i assume this is the positive sign i am looking for but i felt like i just never got any sort of body language tell that even remotely said she was interested during the movie. not to say seemed like she was actively avoiding me, just never felt i had a spot to do anything. either she is just totally oblivious or i am just a huge pussy and never went for it, probably some mix of both.
Ok to make a decision on whether it was you not making a move or it was her just not feeling it I need to know some things. When you watched guys laugh and stuff do you get those moments where you look at each other and smile at each other? If yes, that is a sign that she is definitely into you. Ok so now you guys are about to watch a movie. Where are you guys laying or sitting, bed, couch floor? Also how close do you guys sit or lay when watching the movie? Did you ever put your hand on her leg, hand, around her? Did she ever her head close to your body, on your shoulder, on your chest? I know these are a lot of questions but you got to think about this when making your decision. So for example, if she is ok with you putting your hand on her and she is ok with putting her body or head close to you then you are good to go. If she does that I say you move in for a kiss. If she was eyeing you during the movie along with these other signs and laughing and being giggly all night, then yes you were a vajayjay. If she was not doing any of the signs and just genuinely trying to have a good time, she could either just want to be friends or is just shy. If she is shy you need to make a small move just to see if she is shy or not into you. But I would assume she is into you since she hung all with you all night pretty much. I can give you advice on what to do next time you hang out to figure out this problem.

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Originally Posted by TurnUpTheSun View Post
got girl's number after class.
she tells me to text her that night (she was going one place, i was going another)
i text her.
didnt get a response.
so tonight me and my friends are going to a bar.
do i send another text?
This a tricky situation. Depending on who the girl is then there are several options, but at the moment you only have 2 and that depends on what did you first text her? Did you text her that it was you from her class or what not? If so and she hasn't responded then leave it alone. Do not text her and enjoy your night. If you did NOT text her that where she might not have known who it was then I say you can text her, but only text her something like this "hey this is *insert name* from *insert class* I am going to a bar with some friends you should join me". So those are your two options.
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