Not looking/related to anyone in particular but i feel that my next relationship is going to come from work. I just do casual work at a cafe about 3 times a week, so its not like i'm working with these people all the time and most of the girls there are in a similiar situation (study/casual work). Anyone have any stories/advice on how to maybe approach relationships in this kind of workplace? I think if i was working full-time in a more professional workplace then starting something would be bit out of line but because its casual etc and a pretty laid back environment where i doubt others would care, it seems acceptable. Fair call? Ty in advance

More details needed IMO.

No real details to be given because ain't really interested in anyone in particular. There are like three girls who i could see myself with but more just trying to improve friendship and just see what happens. But just want to know how should approach situation if comes up? If you have something specific you want to know feel free to ask

i would say you just wanna be careful not to do anything that could make it super awkward and play it slow

isn't the saying: Even the blind squirrel finds an occasional nut.

this kind of goes against what we usually suggest, but it's good advice. you want to be careful in a closed environment... esp a professional one.

i wish yeota had given bad advice though so i could reply and call it awful since he's sitting 2 feet from me atm lolol

Hey guys

i am a 18 year old student from london and i've been single for a while now. The girl im interested in lives close to me, i dont know her that well but she has real potential.
So i was texting her today then i asked her about a guy she told me she was SEEING, then she replied telling me he was only using her for sex.. This became a huge turn off for me because i thought she was a more conservative person and i found it really funny that she would have sex with someone she was only seeing.

Should i still try to make her my gf or should i just forget about her?

text her back "are you saying this to try to make me jealous and want you. i'm not falling for that crap."

worst case scenario--she doesn't like that and stops talking to you
best case--she becomes attracted to you

also, as for your question, that's up to you to figure out. does the benefit of wanting to be with her outweigh the cost of this turnoff?

I think the best thing you can do is expect women to be sexually active in advance. Don't paint them as holy virgins in your mind, that way you can't get bummed out when you find out she's been seeing some other guy recently. Everyone has a history in dating and stuff, and the older you get, the more likely it is that the girl your seeing has been with other guys, just get over it.

As for 'making her your girlfriend', you should try get some superficial random contact with her first. Take it slow, and approach her in a casual way at first

no.

lol no

Maybe, but that she said what she said is concerning. What are her motives in saying that? What does that say about her? It might be meaningless, but it's something worth considering.

I wouldn't let this bother you and would pursue it further (what do you have to lose?), but I would be cautious. Also, if this would always bother you, then it likely wouldn't work out anyways.

The mindset of "make her my girlfriend" is bad. You don't have to do that, and it will lead to one-itis and sub-par actions on your part. Seek to casually date her and see where it goes from there. Keep your other options open.

embarrassing moment tonight:

yeotajmu and i are in a car listening to one of our friends talk about a girl situation. he's telling us how some other guy said something to the girl bad about him, and that she repeated it to him.

at the EXACT same moment yeotajmu and i interrupted our friend and said the EXACT same phrase, simultaneously word-for-****ing-word: "well the fact that she told you that"

then we both stopped at the exact same time, looked at each other and felt a little romo about it

how the **** do i get a girlfriend in college?



seriously.

I mean the fact that you are asking about it means its not going to work out. I dont agree with your mindset at all (people have sex, whatever), but if you have a problem with it, dont try to force it, find someone else. Theres plenty of people out there.

Also, the fact that shes texting you that shes banging some guy is not a good sign. I have no idea how that could even come up in a text message, but this is not a good sign.

errr go out and be social? and dont focus on "getting a girlfriend", thats just gonna lead to disaster. just go out a lot and have fun

good call, needed reiteration

was very funny

Pretty much this. Be personable, don't pretend to be "above" anybody, even if you aren't interested in getting with them, b/c you come off like a douche to EVERYBODY. Be funny, but don't try too hard.

I think actually "don't try too hard" is the key in this spot.

Thanks for the replies guys, but i think i messed up now, shes not replying to my texts or my phone calls anymore, SIGHH. Looks like i am going to be single this year..

hhahahha get a hold of yourself
1) stop texting/calling her. i dont even want to know how many consecutive texts/calls you did without a reply.
2) get some self respect. its a girl. theres a lot of them. you should be more worried about liking a girl, not the girl liking you. you should approach every hot girl with the mindset that she wants you, and you have to figure out if you like her.
3) you didnt even like this girl to begin with because she was banging another dude. and she didnt like you because she told you that (i wouldnt be surprised if it wasnt true, she just knew you were a bitch and it would throw you off).
4) "Looks like i am going to be single this year". yea, you will be if you keep acting like you had your balls chopped off.

LOL trust me i have self confidence in talking to girls, i just cant find the right one lol, its getting a little fustrating thats all. And i aint a bitch, i just thought she wasnt so easy thats all.

Yeah, there's a good chance that this one's out. Live and learn, there are more fish in the sea. Confidence is a big turn on for a lot of girls, but arrogance is a big turn off for nearly every girl. There's a fine line between the two. Walk that line, make them laugh, and you're in like prom night.

talk to as many girls as possible....hot/fat/ugly/short/tall/dumb/midget

lol just show up

are texting "power games" that important?

lately i have been the one to initiate texting, dont do it more often than every other day. she will do stuff on facebook to me but hasnt initiated texting in awhile. should i be **** testing and see if she will eventually cave in or not worry about it?


edit: when i initiate texting it is definitely two sided conversation