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Old 10-27-2009, 03:45 PM   #16
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

nm

Last edited by TurnUpTheSun; 10-27-2009 at 04:03 PM. Reason: oopz
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Old 10-27-2009, 08:27 PM   #17
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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Originally Posted by mrregan View Post
Ill share one of my dilemmas. I have this girl who id say is 9.5/10 in the looks department but honestly she bores me. She isn't THAT much fun and our main interests are in different things. I want to continue banging her, shes fantastic in bed. However i don't want the relationship, but the more we get together the more she is texting, wanting to do things together, etc...basically move towards a relationship.

So my question is this: What is my play in order to maintain the status quo. Am i just going to have to discuss how i feel with her and risk that she will not be interested in that type of relationship, or can i just avoid the hanging out often enough to drag this out.
Well I would first suggest decide if you honestly don't like her, or you just don't want to have a gf period. If you really don't want a gf period then I would suggest finding out whether she is banging because she likes you and wants a relationship or just wants to bang for the sex. I mean I was in a relationship with a girl before where we had sex, but also didn't mind if the other went out on a date or did something with someone else, because we always ended up back together having sex. So see if this is a type of relationship she would go for. If not and she wants you to date and bang her exclusively then you have a few choices.

1)You can tell you are just wanting a relationship. With that she might be
upset and it might be the end of the sex with you 2 for the time being. Or she might say ok that is fine and the sex will continue as normal.

2) Date her and continue banging as normal

With option 1 even though you will 60% be ending the sex you two had, she will not hate you because you are being honest. Therefor this leaves the option for sex open. If you choose option I would suggest still talking to her and being flirty. Act as if you two never had the discussion about dating. This way you will ultimately become her sad sex, happy sex, just want to **** person. In a sense even though you are not dating, she will still see you as a bf because you are always there and still want to hang out with her and treat her like a gf without the title.

Sorry for the long read.
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Old 10-27-2009, 09:38 PM   #18
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

Check her facebook? Either that or jut be a man and ask her...
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Old 10-27-2009, 11:33 PM   #19
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

gonna just do it tomorrow.
will give the details itt.
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Old 10-28-2009, 02:22 AM   #20
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

IMO i think you just wanna be F buddies, nothing wrong with that. I think you should just limit the times you guys text or talk. If you text daily, stop! just talk to her maybe once a week..Soon she'll get the idea, and know your not really interested in a relationship..so just keep being kewl and i promise that you u guys will still be F Buddies


So if it ever does come to that point, just let her know how you feel. But know what you really want.
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Old 10-28-2009, 11:58 AM   #21
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

Fail.

after class:
me:how did studying for that test go
girl: it went alright, its not gonna be too hard
me: o thats good....man im hungry (im sooooo smooth)
girl: lolz, im tired
me: wanna go get foodz? (nice segway, huh?)
girl: nah, i think im just gonna make something at home. thanks for asking though.
me: (fml fml fml) mbn, i have no food at home.
girl: blah blah blah
me: are you going out tomorrow night?
girl: yea!11! are you?
me: (i say yea and then tell her about a party and then dont invite her cause im a fckng retard jioesagjioseajfioeehrinweaiuofn)
girl: aw that sounds cute
----get to point of walk where we go seperate ways-----
girl: dont you have to go this way to get food
me: nah, i think im gonna go home first
girl: (this kid is a fckng retard) alright see ya friday
me: i hate my life
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Old 10-28-2009, 12:39 PM   #22
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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Originally Posted by TurnUpTheSun View Post
Fail.

after class:
me:how did studying for that test go
girl: it went alright, its not gonna be too hard
me: o thats good....man im hungry (im sooooo smooth)
girl: lolz, im tired
me: wanna go get foodz? (nice segway, huh?)
girl: nah, i think im just gonna make something at home. thanks for asking though.
me: (fml fml fml) mbn, i have no food at home.
girl: blah blah blah
me: are you going out tomorrow night?
girl: yea!11! are you?
me: (i say yea and then tell her about a party and then dont invite her cause im a fckng retard jioesagjioseajfioeehrinweaiuofn)
girl: aw that sounds cute
----get to point of walk where we go seperate ways-----
girl: dont you have to go this way to get food
me: nah, i think im gonna go home first
girl: (this kid is a fckng retard) alright see ya friday
me: i hate my life
Ok so not a bad first attempt. I see where you made your errors though. It's not so much a big deal you didn't invite her to the party, its that you screwed up by not going the same way she needed to go. Her saying don't you have to go this way to get food was your chance to say oh yeah lol then you could have said are you sure you don't want to eat? my treat and then she prob would have been more inclined to say yes or atleast understand what you were trying to do. This also gives you another shot to say So about this party, would you like to go?

You made your big mistake by not going the way she was walking. Its ok though. There is next time. You can recover from this. You just need to focus and don't get down on yourself.
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Old 10-28-2009, 03:52 PM   #23
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

yea i realized like 45 seconds after that i ****ed it up. i was like noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
then i realized how easy it would have been to say "you should stop by" after she said "cute" about the party.
i suck.
seriously.
on friday how direct should i be?
should i be like "i wish i saw you last night, i wish i got your number so you could have come"
or something like "we should meet up to night, ill text you when im heading out"
thoughts?
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Old 10-28-2009, 06:56 PM   #24
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by TurnUpTheSun View Post
yea i realized like 45 seconds after that i ****ed it up. i was like noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
then i realized how easy it would have been to say "you should stop by" after she said "cute" about the party.
i suck.
seriously.
on friday how direct should i be?
should i be like "i wish i saw you last night, i wish i got your number so you could have come"
or something like "we should meet up to night, ill text you when im heading out"
thoughts?
"i wish I saw you last night" is desperate... are we desperate???

it's halloween weekend, are you going out this weekend? Don't stress about the food thing it's really only meant to work when the other person is hungry. I don't think I'd offer to pay either, you want to act like you want to get to know her not buy her food and get in her pants (even though this is the target goal).

The key to girls, poker, and life is lying. So Friday when she tells you she is unsure about where she is going out on Friday you tell her about a party you know of/plan to go too. If she drops the "cute" line again you tell her she should come. If she acts interested here comes the lie, you don't remeber the exact address get her number so you can txt her the details. Then later txt her to see if she wants to pre-game or something, idk the rest is easy. Or if you want to keep it really low key give her your number if she doesn't sound excited about going out. Tell her to txt you if she decides she wants to go later. This way the pressure is off your shoulders and you will see what her intentions are.

Don't worry about the other day, if you were looking for a one night stand and just met her then you blew it but if you are looking for something longer term then the war is far from over.
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Old 10-28-2009, 08:44 PM   #25
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by TurnUpTheSun View Post
yea i realized like 45 seconds after that i ****ed it up. i was like noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
then i realized how easy it would have been to say "you should stop by" after she said "cute" about the party.
i suck.
seriously.
on friday how direct should i be?
should i be like "i wish i saw you last night, i wish i got your number so you could have come"
or something like "we should meet up to night, ill text you when im heading out"
thoughts?
"Trying too hard" comes immediately to mind.

You asked her to eat with you. She said no.

Not a big deal. Doesn't even qualify as embarassing rejection. That is why saying "you hungry?" works. No pressure, no embarassment.

She did say "thanks for asking" which either means that she isn't interested in you and doesn't want to hurt your feelings or that she actually wasn't interested in eating with you on that day. The first means that she likes you and you have a friend, the second means that you may have a shot at a date in the future.

You did act kind of retarded after that, but you are a boy, so she is used to that. Your take on how retarded you acted is probably exaggerated.

Just calm down. If she isn't into you, there isn't much you can do, and at least some girl is talking to you. If she is into you, well, that is complicated. Personally, I have never had a girl who was interested in me say no to eating lunch. I have heard stories of drawn out courtship, but I don't have the attention span, I guess.

As far as what you should do tomorrow: Tell her where you are going. Tell her how much you are looking forward to going. Ask if she wants to go. Listen to what she says. If she says yes, ask if she wants you to stop by her place to walk her there. Give her directions if she says yes. At any point in which she says no (to either of the prior two questions), don't geek out and ask the same question a second time or try to convince her. Also, don't invite yourself to whatever plans she has. Both are stalkery.
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Old 10-28-2009, 08:46 PM   #26
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

[QUOTE=Skinz;14135180]The key to girls, poker, and life is lying. QUOTE]

There is no need for lying. I can think of 5 different ways to get her address and phone number without lying and I am drunk off my ass.
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:48 AM   #27
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

there's this girl in my dorm who i really like and i want to have a relationship with her. i've been flirting with her the last two weeks, and she's been pretty much flirting back, at least i think so.

eg, she's rested her head on my shoulder and told me that i'm really sweet after i was dropping some game on her.

fast foward to a week ago, when i asked her out for dinner. she responded to me that she'd love to go out to dinner with me but couldn't. she said "i promise, i'll go out with you some other time." i'm almost positive she was telling the truth about her other commitment, based on the excuse she gave.

so i texted her tonight if she'd like to go out for dinner tomorrow. she told me again that she's busy cause she's going to watch a movie with her friends tomorrow. this time i don't know if she's telling the truth. also i don't know what this means, but she included a :} in her text response. i still think she wants to go out with me and has been legitimately busy, but i may be wrong. what do you think? is she interested in me or not?

also, i just want to hang out with her and flirt with her and eventually have a relationship with her. since we live in the same dorm do i have to ask her out for dinner, or should i suggest that we hang out and do something together? if so, any ideas for what i should suggest we do together?

Last edited by abcdefghijk; 10-30-2009 at 03:17 AM.
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:56 AM   #28
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

also, would you recommend that i tell her "i love you"?

i seriously am in love with her and am thinking of sending her a text like "i know ur busy and all but i love you and want to spend time with you." good idea/bad idea?

and if i ever go out with her for dinner, my plan was to tell her that she was gorgeous and then that i want to get to know her better and ask her about her life. does this sound like a good approach?

btw, in case it matters, i'm just a freshman.

ty for advice, and sorry for being so verbose, but i've actually found a girl i'm in love with, rather than a girl i just wanna fucc.

Last edited by abcdefghijk; 10-30-2009 at 03:21 AM.
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Old 10-30-2009, 04:27 AM   #29
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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Originally Posted by abcdefghijk View Post
also, would you recommend that i tell her "i love you"?
Please, don't do that. Massive -EV move.
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Old 10-30-2009, 04:50 AM   #30
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Re: SL "Ask Out A Girl" Thread

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Please, don't do that. Massive -EV move.
THIS. DO NOT EVAR, EVAR SAY SOMETHING LIKE THIS: "i know ur busy and all but i love you and want to spend time with you."

Here are things you should say:
"When are you free to hang out?"
"What would you like to do?"
"Would you like to see a movie/go get dinner/(something else based on the fact that you know this chick better than we do)?"

Note: This girl almost certainly likes you. She has been resting her head on your shoulder. She will give you a positive response as long as you don't pressure and keep it fairly open-ended. (ie, the only way she will say no is if you come across a creepily).

And then, do not do this, "if i ever go out with her for dinner, my plan was to tell her that she was gorgeous and then that i want to get to know her better and ask her about her life."

Instead, you should actually ask her about her life, her family, her friends, actually get to know her, and then you can tell her that she's gorgeous and go from there. Talk before complimenting.

You don't need to push this one or do anything hard/tricky. Just don't come across as desperate, be patient, and you'll be fine.
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