"Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2013 Year of the Tall Blonde

[Geddy Lee]

So...I think I posted earlier itt about the girl who I met at my hockey team's rookie kegger, took out to dinner, made no attempt to become friends with but then she said she wanted to be friends anyways cause she "didn't know what she wanted out of this." I basically stopped talking to her for a while, didn't care.

She was gonna be up at the same ski resort my buddies and I went to for New Year's but then had to leave to work an event (she does corporate catering). She texted me to let me know that and apologize for not being there - I really didn't care one way or another, wasn't even sure if I was gonna drop her a line while I was up there. Anyways, I texted her back and told her we'd just have to get that drink back at campus. She responds immediately with yes, yada yada etc. Driving back home on Saturday, we're exchanging texts for a good 45 minutes.

Any potential here or is there no point even getting my hopes up?

[Geddy Lee]

Originally Posted by thebigeasy59

i don't understand the "you will..." thing. "you will stay the night" sounds outlandish, and impossible to not be forceful with. maybe I'm missing something?

Use the force ldo

[cplo42]

Originally Posted by thebigeasy59

i don't understand the "you will..." thing. "you will stay the night" sounds outlandish, and impossible to not be forceful with. maybe I'm missing something?

its not like..."you WILL stay the night, or else"

its more like..."stay the night" and if she has some dumb excuse, just tell her that excuse is dumb, and that she should stay the night.

[GoodGame]

ya in retrospect i should have just said that's a dumb excuse and half-laughed.

[thebigeasy59]

I've been in touch with a girl over the last month or so after asking her out at the end of last semester. We've been messaging back and forth since then but haven't hung out in person yet due to exams and christmas break and such. I messaged her today with something along the lines of "Let's get together sometime this week. I'm planning on going to open mic on Wednesday if that's your scene. If not that, I'm going to [location] to see my friend doug and his friends' band play a gig thursday night if you're interested in that. (and then said other stuff that isn't so much on topic.)" She answered back with "Oh I'd get all cranky if I went to open mic. way too busy for me. Let's check out your friends' concert tho."

Now for the Q and A-
1) I drink fairly heavily. If she's not a bar person then there could obv be some kind of effect, but is this ever really a deal-breaker?
2) this concert my buddy is having costs $3. pay her way or no? if it was dinner or w/e then I most likely wouldn't pay, but this is a $3 event that I invited her to.
3) is a 1-on-1 thing better here, or should we hang out with my other friends who are also going? Most/all of these friends are also girls if that makes a difference.
4) Ideally I'm looking for a spot as far from the band as possible, where we can talk as opposed to actually paying attention to the band, right? When I suggest we go see this band, she's not expecting that we actually go to listen to the band, right?

[cplo42]

Originally Posted by thebigeasy59

I've been in touch with a girl over the last month or so after asking her out at the end of last semester. We've been messaging back and forth since then but haven't hung out in person yet due to exams and christmas break and such. I messaged her today with something along the lines of "Let's get together sometime this week. I'm planning on going to open mic on Wednesday if that's your scene. If not that, I'm going to [location] to see my friend doug and his friends' band play a gig thursday night if you're interested in that. (and then said other stuff that isn't so much on topic.)" She answered back with "Oh I'd get all cranky if I went to open mic. way too busy for me. Let's check out your friends' concert tho."

Now for the Q and A-
1) I drink fairly heavily. If she's not a bar person then there could obv be some kind of effect, but is this ever really a deal-breaker?
2) this concert my buddy is having costs $3. pay her way or no? if it was dinner or w/e then I most likely wouldn't pay, but this is a $3 event that I invited her to.
3) is a 1-on-1 thing better here, or should we hang out with my other friends who are also going? Most/all of these friends are also girls if that makes a difference.
4) Ideally I'm looking for a spot as far from the band as possible, where we can talk as opposed to actually paying attention to the band, right? When I suggest we go see this band, she's not expecting that we actually go to listen to the band, right?

1. Just dont get belligerent and you will be fine.
2. Its 3$. Kinda judge the situation when you get there. If she just goes ahead and pays, let her do it, if she seems like she wants you to pay, just pay. If you arent sure, just pay.
3. 1-1 is better, but its not like you can just awkwardly avoid your friends all night. You are gonna have to introduce them to her, maybe go find somewhere to talk after.
4. yes

[il_martilo]

Originally Posted by thebigeasy59

I've been in touch with a girl over the last month or so after asking her out at the end of last semester. We've been messaging back and forth since then but haven't hung out in person yet due to exams and christmas break and such. I messaged her today with something along the lines of "Let's get together sometime this week. I'm planning on going to open mic on Wednesday if that's your scene. If not that, I'm going to [location] to see my friend doug and his friends' band play a gig thursday night if you're interested in that. (and then said other stuff that isn't so much on topic.)" She answered back with "Oh I'd get all cranky if I went to open mic. way too busy for me. Let's check out your friends' concert tho."

Now for the Q and A-
1) I drink fairly heavily. If she's not a bar person then there could obv be some kind of effect, but is this ever really a deal-breaker?
2) this concert my buddy is having costs $3. pay her way or no? if it was dinner or w/e then I most likely wouldn't pay, but this is a $3 event that I invited her to.
3) is a 1-on-1 thing better here, or should we hang out with my other friends who are also going? Most/all of these friends are also girls if that makes a difference.
4) Ideally I'm looking for a spot as far from the band as possible, where we can talk as opposed to actually paying attention to the band, right? When I suggest we go see this band, she's not expecting that we actually go to listen to the band, right?

1. Have a few drinks to get you on your game but don't get out of control.
2. Pay it. Not so much because paying it makes you look like a gentleman but just because not paying it makes you look like a huge dousche.
3. 1-1 is way better in this scenario.
4. Yes, get a spot where you can talk.

[furyshade]

so end of last semester there was a girl who i sort of knew via mutual friends who i feel is into me. i'd met her maybe 4-5 times, always at relatively large group things. new semester starts next week, i feel like it won't be too difficult to get events together where she'll be present but i have no idea how to go from large group things to asking her out. i don't have her phone number but am friends on facebook with her, though it seems weird to try to do anything on facebook without knowing her better first. is there any good way to transition from mutual friend in groups to asking out without being really awkward/creepy?

[thebigeasy59]

if she's actually in to you then i doubt she'll think it's creepy if you do facebook or w/e.

[GoodGame]

Originally Posted by thebigeasy59

Now for the Q and A-
1) I drink fairly heavily. If she's not a bar person then there could obv be some kind of effect, but is this ever really a deal-breaker?
2) this concert my buddy is having costs $3. pay her way or no? if it was dinner or w/e then I most likely wouldn't pay, but this is a $3 event that I invited her to.
3) is a 1-on-1 thing better here, or should we hang out with my other friends who are also going? Most/all of these friends are also girls if that makes a difference.
4) Ideally I'm looking for a spot as far from the band as possible, where we can talk as opposed to actually paying attention to the band, right? When I suggest we go see this band, she's not expecting that we actually go to listen to the band, right?

1. just don't get drunk as someone else said
2. pay unless she beats you to it. don't mention anything of it or say any lines like "dont worry i got this". just pay and walk in
3. introducing her to your girl friends is usually always a positive. she sees that you are accepted by girls and can hangout with them
4. just like poker "it depends". in general though yes.

Originally Posted by furyshade

so end of last semester there was a girl who i sort of knew via mutual friends who i feel is into me. i'd met her maybe 4-5 times, always at relatively large group things. new semester starts next week, i feel like it won't be too difficult to get events together where she'll be present but i have no idea how to go from large group things to asking her out. i don't have her phone number but am friends on facebook with her, though it seems weird to try to do anything on facebook without knowing her better first. is there any good way to transition from mutual friend in groups to asking out without being really awkward/creepy?

how old are you? what kind of group events are u talking about?
i think everyone should post their age and what they want to accomplish with the girl (one night stand, dating). for some reason i want to say that your a senior in college? if you just want to hookup there's no reason to hangout one on one. going to a group event then back to someones house for a mini after party makes it pretty easy to hookup.

[GoodGame]

last nights pointless TR:
i wasn't in the mood to do anything but this girl who lives pretty far away insisted i had people over because she wanted to drink. i told her everyone's busy and it'd only be 10-15 ppl. she shows up and it's 11 ppl including her and her friend to be exact. she wanted vodka but all we had is beer because the night wasn't anything special.

anyways this is the second time she's drove pretty far to hangout this week and both times we've had absolutely no chemistry. i could care less about chemistry with her because she's not gf material but it makes it weird even talking to her. i kind of gave up on the situation because i'm the kind of person who needs the girl to at least show interest occasionally when i'm with them. so i ended up just going to bed once the other girls left and i didn't even say goodnight or anything to her.

[furyshade]

Originally Posted by GoodGame

how old are you? what kind of group events are u talking about?
i think everyone should post their age and what they want to accomplish with the girl (one night stand, dating). for some reason i want to say that your a senior in college? if you just want to hookup there's no reason to hangout one on one. going to a group event then back to someones house for a mini after party makes it pretty easy to hookup.

im a sophomore, 19. i really don't know at this point, she just seems like a cool girl with good taste in music, don't know much else as of now. wouldn't mind going out with her though, she doesn't really seem like one-night-stand type.

[GoodGame]

oh we're the same age. but we sound a lot different because when i think of open mic's i think of a room full of 24yrs old+ all thinking they have some unique perspective on life that they feel is so cool they have to share it with everyone else.

and if i had to vote whether to initiate conversation on facebook i'd vote no. it seems like there's plenty of opportunities to get her # in person down the road.

also standard generic advice for everyone. try to talk to a consistent 4-5 girls at a time that way you never put one on a pedestal

[yeotaJMU]

if you have similar tastes in music, just write on her wall and be like "just found this song X, you should check it out i think youd like it"

then she will respond standard "yeah its sweet thanks for that"

then you can open it up from there.

[soon2begator]

You guys go to school with girls who you think are hot, but like aren't sure? I know a couple girls who are hot, or at least I think so, but no guys ever really hit on them, maybe b/c they are quiet.