Sunday, July 11 - A day in the life of ZZ
Oh how I wish I could have done this TR when it happened as I would remember much better, but alas, Sethy was again still bein a donk with biased bannings.
My Uncle and I went into central London for the day. As some of you may know, the World Cup final was on Sunday, so there were tons and tons and tons of people decked out in Holland and Spain Jerseys. Before we got the train back to his house I decided to stay in the central bit to catch the game.
Knowing nothing about where would be a good place to watch, I saw a gaggle of Dutch supporters and just followed them. On the way to the bar we passed a Spanish place, and I made a mental note to head back there if Spain won.
Needless to say, the Spanish took down the pathetic dutch and I basically sprinted 200 yards back to the Spanish Bar where the party was already underway. I clearly was not the only person who realized the best place to celebrate a Spain victory was at a Spanish bar, as there were people from all over who also came. Namely, a british girl. Unfortunately she was only ~6 but I have never hooked up with a non-American at this point and nobody I know IRL is bound to find out, so I wasn't too worried. After convincing her I was spanish she just started making out with me.
I had also met these two English guys who were in their 50s and we were having a relatively interesting conversation. The english girl comes back at some point during this and tries to start hooking up and I am like "rofl go away i already hooked up with you and i like my new friends more" at which point she turned around, pinned me on the bar, and gave me a handjob, which the 2 guys found to be the funniest thing they have ever seen and after many laughs and high fives we continued talking while she was doing this. rofl british sluts.
at this point one of the spanish girls who worked there and had a lip ring took an interest in me, and started asking if i was with the british girl. of course im not! i would never date such a harlot! i told her. she was maybe 6.5, but again - foreign, and with little to no chance of anyone ever finding out about it IRL, i had 0 issues. I told her to come outside for a smoke so we headed out and had some DEEP conversation.
By DEEP, i mean she spoke very terrible english and me very terrible spanish. who cares though? not ZZ, thats who. she went in to get some grappa shots (which the spanish bar handed out for completely free for about 5 hours post-game) and after taking them we made out for a bit. this time, it was all of her spanish amigos who found it hilarious and there were many cheers to go around.
enter: british girl. she did not seem too happy (im assuming she saw it but was too drunk/not paying enough attention to tell for sure), but I had just moved up half a point in hotness btwn them so my choice was not a hard one to make. i told her to go away but the lady doth protest too much. they were literally about to be at blows, which was even funnier because the argument was half english/half spanish and 2 of us had no clue what the spanish part actually was.
HALLELUJAH!! girl number 3 walks up. blonde 6.0, but she was uncharted territory so i made the snap decision to give her preference over spanish lip ring. she seriously just comes up in the middle of the first 2 girls arguing (or whatever it could be called) and looks at me and says "whats your name?" in some eastern european accent.
baller ZZ takes over and I have no clue why but I was certain this would work - I just kissed her. before saying a single word. in front of the other 2 girls. the silence that followed was AWESOME. the arguing brit/spaniard just sulk off or something and the girl (who ends up being bulgarian) smiles and says "i like you. lets get a drink"
she and i end up getting white wine (yeah i have no idea why) and by now im REALLY drunk so things get a bit hazy. stuffs that i remember are:
-kissing her at the most random times mid sentence, which she thought was brilliant
-her asking like 100 times whether or not i had a gf and never believing my denials
-her trying to get my email or phone number so that we could hang out again before i go home. i have bad handwriting in general, but when im drunk, just forget it. probably tried to write it 5 or 6 times, and im not sure that the last one was any more legible than the first. so i gave her my american phone number, which does not work over here, because my english phone had died so i couldnt look up its number.
after more hooking up, dancing, and another HJ on the dancefloor, her friends came by and got her. i havent gotten any email, and have no clue if she has tried my american phone number which i know was legible because it is obv not hard to write numbers as opposed to letters. so i fell in love with a bulgarian and will probably never see her again. furthermore, i never even got her name. or if i did, i was too drunk to remember it by the morning.
cliffs: euro girls are donks and i miss FW