"Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2013 Year of the Tall Blonde

[MMD]

Originally Posted by MMD

Not sure if this has been covered yet but I have been messaging a couple of cute girls back and forth on POF this weekend.

At what point do you ask them if they want to meet up for a drink or w/e and how would you word it?

ty

Originally Posted by CCuster_911

AS soon as possible, you should avoid talking too much online as it narrows down the amount you can talk about over drinks on the first date which is half the fun. Get a feel based off their replies(if they ask you questions and **** its a good sign), then just ask if they want to meet for drinks this week(specific day is better), if they cant hopefully they offer up an alternative. But I would avoid doing this on POF, get their number on do it within the first couple texts.

Just to follow up I asked one of them if she wanted to go out Friday and she said yeah so it's a result.

The other hasn't been back online.

[diskoteque]

i have literally zero experience with online dating so correct me if i'm wrong, but my impression is that any girl on an online dating site is desperate for a relationship (or, even better, is desperate to get laid). why wouldn't you want to meet up irl asap?

[Henry17]

Originally Posted by diskoteque

why wouldn't you want to meet up irl asap?

1) They are misrepresenting themselves and want to get the guy more invested first.

2) The vast majority of people on these sites are complete losers -- she wants to make sure he isn't that bad before meeting.

3) A lot of guys are just looking for low-hanging fruit. This acts as a filter against guys like that.

I'd say #2 is the the main reason.

I have no idea why guys in their 20s would waste their time with online dating. If you were older than maybe but at this age it is just a bad idea.

[diskoteque]

Originally Posted by Henry17

1) They are misrepresenting themselves and want to get the guy more invested first.

2) The vast majority of people on these sites are complete losers -- she wants to make sure he isn't that bad before meeting.

3) A lot of guys are just looking for low-hanging fruit. This acts as a filter against guys like that.

I'd say #2 is the the main reason.

I have no idea why guys in their 20s would waste their time with online dating. If you were older than maybe but at this age it is just a bad idea.

i've always viewed it as a way for guys to snag some, as you put it, low-hanging fruit. that is, make an account, go out on saturday night with your friends and if unsuccessful, check your email at 3:00am and invite one of the online girls over? i didn't realize these girls make you jump through hoops; i always assumed they were only on the site to get laid/meet guys asap so they dont need to spend another night alone eating ice cream with their cats. basically escorts but you have to be nicer to them.

apparently i was wrong. which begs the question: wtf are guys doing on here. go out!

[JLBorloo]

don't know met 4 girls from OKC, in three months or so. Slept with two, been having several date with the third.
Three have studied at elite universities (Oxford/HEC/SciencesPo.), are good looking young professionals with extensive travel experience and a wide range of interests.
I don't feel like I am trying to get low hanging fruits at all.


Also TR from Oxford one since it was last weekend :

Her profile was straight up arrogant, so I just sent her a message making fun of her liking Lady Gaga in the middle of what is by all means sophisticated tastes. She answered some bs, so I did not follow up since I did not feel like fighting a downhill battle.

Two weeks after (last Thursday) she messaged me on the chat (did not know that even existed) something like "so I guess I failed to convince you of Lady Gaga's awesomeness", and I just kept making fun of her. Then we chatted some more, and she asked me if I looked the same on my pictures and in real life, to which I said yes (some girl actually recognized me from my OKC pics in a club). After a bit I had to set off, she asked whether I'd like to hang out and gave me her number. The day after I was supposed to go on a date with a French girl I met in a networking event but could not be arsed so I texted her and we met for drinks. She had this very posh Oxford accent which was very nice. She is also very good looking and dresses very well. We had two drinks, and then she said that she had just moved back from England and thus needed to either take a train now to her parents, or in the morning.

Obviously I said she could crash at my place, and that it was good cause I wanted to show her some books from an author we had been discussing and we promptly hopped in a tramway to my place. Funnily my usual wingman was sitting in it, so I just smiled discretely to him and he cleverly just winked.
We got to my place around 1am, set up some music, and after 15 minutes she was naked in my bed. Most insane sex ever too, we did it many times until it was 7am, then slept until noon and banged again until 5pm, at which time she had to set off since her open relationship boyfriend was visiting her that night (he lives far away). We agreed to do that again sometime in two weeks.

All in all a fast and efficient date!

[LazyTops5]

Damn, well done sir

[goofyballer]

Shocker of the week: disko and henry have never tried online dating and have no clue about it

[The-fryke]

Yeah ive been looking into it since just moved to a new city, and there are plenty of girls on there who appear to be pretty awesome. I admit, i'm a little sceptical (as why would a 23yo girl be doing online dating, but i'm sure they have their reasons).

It's tough, cause my circle of friends in this city is pretty useless when it comes to going out drinking (plus its uber expensive here with taxis etc cause I live in the burbs) so I am thinking about giving it a crack. Worst case scenario I meet new people.

[Vintage00]

Originally Posted by OsTornado

(or an alcoholic).

Toph - do you never hold your gf's hand or something? I don't mind it.

Also fwiw, I got cheeked the first time I took my current gf out.

[diskoteque]

i have a good TR from when the site was down that i intended to post but completely forgot about. cant post now but someone quote this if i dont post within the next few days.

[Henry17]

Originally Posted by goofyballer

Shocker of the week: disko and henry have never tried online dating and have no clue about it

Which point do you disagree with?

1) That people using online dating misrepresent themselves?

There are enough TRs in the EDF topic about guys showing up to dates and the girl not being as attractive as the pictures would lead them to believe. Having known girls who have used online dating I know they were very selective of the pictures and in a few cases even engaged in photoshop enhancement. When talking to a girl online you don't even know it is a girl -- there are at least two topics on 2p2 were guys have created fake female PoF accounts. If a girl is using a picture taken at an angle where she looks 10-15 lbs lighter than she actually is she is going to be justifiably nervous about meeting the guy.

2) That most of the guys using online dating are losers?

Every girl I know who has used online dating has multiple horror stories. Even dates that go well one of the most common ice-breaking topics is discussing all the horrible dates they have gone on previously.

3) That there are guys who just use these sites to get laid and that girls know this.

I'm not sure which of these you disagree with. My views on online dating being a horrible way for people under 30 to date are just based on efficiency. The local market leading pay site cuts you off after 20 profiles if you don't have one yourself but 0 out of 20 were attractive. I've previously done much larger samples and the results were abysmal. I'd be surprised if I could find 25 attractive girls out of 1000 if I remove single moms, the obviously crazy, and the obviously fake.

An environment where a tiny percentage of girls are attractive is not a good environment to meet girls. Their relative advantage will lead to them getting so much attention that they will greatly overestimate their own standing. They also get bombarded with contacts -- some of my female friends would log in to find 100+ contacts every couple of days. Factor in the fact that everyone involved is working from a position of ignorance with respect to if they are being told the truth and it is just not effective. I further think it will actually **** up guys ability to interact with non-online dating girls but that is less certain.

[goofyballer]

Well, you changed the statement I took the most issue with from "most people" to "most guys" - I have no idea if most guys doing it are losers (they probably are, it's the internet after all), but most of the women I've met are attractive, successful people.

[GoCubsGo]

Henry,

Which of the following points do not apply to real life bars and clubs?

Originally Posted by Henry17

1) That people misrepresent themselves?

2) That most of the guys there are losers?

3) That there are guys who just use these venues to get laid and that girls know this.

i don't really have a point, just noting that you are being unnecessarily harsh and slightly delusional about the pitfalls of online dating compared to real life. like it or not there has been a sea change the past 5 years where online dating has gone from being stigmatized and weird to being the norm. sort of bums me out but i guess people find it hard to talk to strangers.

[The-fryke]

God I need new friends here. Suggested to the team we go out for a drink afterwards, new girl was keen, then flatmate/team organizer said she doesn't really like drinking after social sports and wouldn't go, and most of other players are her good friends and would be the same imo. Obviously fine for me as I will just go with new girl, but ****, how lame/boring can you be?

[LazyTops5]

Howd it go with the new girl though?