"Ask Out A Girl" Thread: 2013 Year of the Tall Blonde

[Henry17]

Obviously being very physically attractive is a huge advantage. That being said even if you are more normal looking girls / people still view talking with you as a positive if you have social skills.

The big concern for girls are those guys who just can't get a read and keep bothering them long after they should have disengaged. Sometimes it even turns aggressively against the girl. The result is that girls quickly learn to associate stranger talking to me with possible annoyance or worse. If you learn to socialize and signal you are not a weirdo / loser then even a normal looking guy is going to be looked at as a pleasant encounter.

[Muttons]

Originally Posted by Henry17

Obviously being very physically attractive is a huge advantage. That being said even if you are more normal looking girls / people still view talking with you as a positive if you have social skills.

The big concern for girls are those guys who just can't get a read and keep bothering them long after they should have disengaged. Sometimes it even turns aggressively against the girl. The result is that girls quickly learn to associate stranger talking to me with possible annoyance or worse. If you learn to socialize and signal you are not a weirdo / loser then even a normal looking guy is going to be looked at as a pleasant encounter.

100% agree with this and this is a much more important skill.

I only placed in the frame of "being attractive" because I think it's a lot easier for a guy who doesn't have a ton of social experience to get a confident and correct read on whether he's physically attractive than it is for him to get a confident and correct read on whether he has social skills.

[LazyTops5]

Originally Posted by Henry17

Approaching girls at the gym is very situation based. If she is wearing make up or not would be a consideration in determining if she is there to pick up or workout. If she is wearing an iPod or not the same thing. The kind of gym matters -- some gyms are basically high end clubs with workout equipment in them. Unless you are a 110% sure she wants to be approached just pass.

lol talk about a S***** gym

[LazyTops5]

Also regarding male attractiveness. Im assuming most girls just look at face and body doesnt matter much?(I think I have a skewed view of what women find attractive) Just kind of wondering what the typcial attractive male looks like?(no ****)(inb4bradpitt)

Also Im pretty sure I'am attractive and have been told so. So I can completely relate to thing "In real life" being a bit "easier" for that reason alone.

[GusJohnsonGOAT]

Originally Posted by LazyTops5

Just kind of wondering what the typcial attractive male looks like?(no ****)(inb4bradpitt)

TonyDFacebookpic.jpg

[diskoteque]

Originally Posted by LazyTops5

Also regarding male attractiveness. Im assuming most girls just look at face and body doesnt matter much?(I think I have a skewed view of what women find attractive) Just kind of wondering what the typcial attractive male looks like?(no ****)(inb4bradpitt)

Also Im pretty sure I'am attractive and have been told so. So I can completely relate to thing "In real life" being a bit "easier" for that reason alone.

immediately thought of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_y9fkdU_usE

[LazyTops5]

lmao classic

okay disregard my question. As I guess its inconsequential

[diskoteque]

Originally Posted by LazyTops5

Also regarding male attractiveness. Im assuming most girls just look at face and body doesnt matter much?(I think I have a skewed view of what women find attractive) Just kind of wondering what the typcial attractive male looks like?(no ****)(inb4bradpitt)

Also Im pretty sure I'am attractive and have been told so. So I can completely relate to thing "In real life" being a bit "easier" for that reason alone.

based on what i've seen over the years, girls weight it something like 80% face 20% body. of course, body gets weighed super heavily with girls looking for one night stands.

ive had girls tell me that they dont want to be "competing" with their bf/husband. in other words, if their bf only eats grilled chicken and almonds, goes to the gym 7x a week etc they'll be way too insecure. most girls want a "normal" man. so i'd guess as far as LTRs go, girls would rank it:

moderately in shape guy (goes to gym every so often, in decent shape, might have a small gut) >>> lean shredded movie star >>> really thin and weak guy.

im at the age now where the girls i went to HS with are getting married and from what ive seen most husbands of the "hot" girls are overweight and unspectacular.

[LazyTops5]

literally just finished cutting up some chicken breast...

Good post, very insightful

[Henry17]

Originally Posted by Muttons

100% agree with this and this is a much more important skill.

I only placed in the frame of "being attractive" because I think it's a lot easier for a guy who doesn't have a ton of social experience to get a confident and correct read on whether he's physically attractive than it is for him to get a confident and correct read on whether he has social skills.

Being attractive is much better and any guy that doesn't maximize that is a idiot. I think most guys can get to above average with effort only because the bar on average is not that high. Most guys though have no desire to put in effort. Beyond above average though it is genetics and you are either born attractive or your not. Not being a social **** up on the other hand is something almost anyone can learn.

Originally Posted by LazyTops5

lol talk about a S***** gym

They obviously serve a very different purpose but even I think they are a bit much and I like that kind of stuff.

Originally Posted by LazyTops5

Also regarding male attractiveness. Im assuming most girls just look at face and body doesnt matter much?(I think I have a skewed view of what women find attractive) Just kind of wondering what the typcial attractive male looks like?(no ****)(inb4bradpitt)

Depends. Typically body has diminishing returns after fit but still counts. Height which is party of body is quite important.

[AKSpartan]

Originally Posted by Muttons

I obviously read this thread constantly, been trying to never post; **** is hard. I have found that 90% of the time where I think "I have to give this guy advice!", perfectly sound advice is posted within a day (mullen is good at this). So, not sure I'll be constantly posting, but I'm clearly reading is what I'm trying to say.


To continue on the AKSpartan thing:

One of the most helpful things that I came to learn as a single adult was that if you're good-looking (and otherwise not weird), YOU'RE exactly who people in situations that invite socialization are looking to talk to.

In college, I felt confident about my looks, but I didn't really understand how that translated to a wide-variety of social situations other than I knew that often girls would become attracted to me and assign me other positive qualities in their minds without me doing anything.

After college, I came to understand that regardless of what a girl's intentions are, if she's in a situation that invites socialization such as attending a bar or party, she's going to like me to talk to her. It doesn't mean everyone flirts with me, and it certainly doesn't mean everyone finds me attractive enough to ****. Nor does it mean that I get every girl I talk to to become attracted to me.

But, as an attractive mid 20s dude who takes care to dress well (though not particularly outlandishly), pretty much everyone from girls with boyfriends to single women, to married moms out getting drinks with friends takes a little pleasure in me initiating a conversation. Most often girls seem to feel a bit of light flattery, sometimes they're attracted. Either way, that's why people go out. Maybe they're not comfortable initiating new people, maybe they have no interest in making genuine new friends, but people (including women) like being in bars and parties as opposed to their living room because of the idea of having an interaction with a stranger. Are you a good looking guy? Congratulations, you're the type of stranger, who, all else being equal, they'd like to talk to.

Obviously don't be overbearing. Don't be weird. But if you are a good looking guy (this includes dressing well), just assume that any woman or group of women in a social setting is going to have their day ever so slightly brightened if you say hi or include them in a joke.

...well until you reveal that you're a weirdo.

This sort of thing somehow never occurred to me. But thanks for mentioning it. It's a really good point.

And I'm definitely not the overbearing type. If anything I go too far out of my way to avoid being that guy.

[AKSpartan]

Originally Posted by goofyballer

Oh, do I ever have the thread for you: Asking out a girl from class I haven't really talked to

Great, I'll check it out.

[diskoteque]

Originally Posted by LazyTops5

literally just finished cutting up some chicken breast...

Good post, very insightful

lol thanks

i mean, its definitely better to be in great shape than flabby and skinny but whether it not its worth all the hard work is questionable.

i alternate between skinny fat (5'11, 165 lbs with no definition/slight gut) and fit/athletic (5'11 160 lbs and fit/tight from going to gym 5 days a week). ive never been "jacked" or particularly muscular. i can honestly say i havent noticed a difference in my ability to get girls in either phase.

obviously, im at a huge disadvantage when im on the beach or whatever.

height is very important. (+1 to henry) . a 6'0 guy is almost always >>>>>>>>>> 5'8 guy regardless of body/hair/money.

[Henry17]

Originally Posted by diskoteque

moderately in shape guy (goes to gym every so often, in decent shape, might have a small gut) >>> lean shredded movie star >>> really thin and weak guy.

Don't agree.

Movie star body <<<<<< Average fit guy <<<<< Juice monkey << really thin <<< fat

[diskoteque]

Originally Posted by Henry17

Don't agree.

Movie star body <<<<<< Average fit guy <<<<< Juice monkey << really thin <<< fat

im guessing your arrows are pointing the wrong way