Wherein Zeno Tells You Your Furniture is Blasphemous
05-17-2009
, 08:29 PM
05-17-2009
, 08:55 PM
05-17-2009
, 08:58 PM
i apologize for my outburst.
05-17-2009
, 09:00 PM
Quote:
In the monthly LC thread Wookie posted a picture of his new couch:
Does this fold out or become a recliner?
05-17-2009
, 09:09 PM
05-17-2009
, 11:22 PM
I feel like diddy is trying to upstage me with Zeno by posting pictures of all his many books...so here is my picture of my books...and LOOK I have a cat on top of MY bookshelf...
ZENO - VOTE FOR ME OVER DIDDY! There's a Loeb book on the fifth shelf on the left. OMG...I'm pathetic.
ZENO - VOTE FOR ME OVER DIDDY! There's a Loeb book on the fifth shelf on the left. OMG...I'm pathetic.
05-18-2009
, 01:08 AM
I like the clothes monster LF. It's always nice to find clothes you have forgotten you own and you have a piece of furniture ... nee a piece of art dedicated solely to that.
I have more books than you HH
I was hoping to get a randomly get a picture with a kitty, but they wouldn't play ball.
I have more books than you HH
I was hoping to get a randomly get a picture with a kitty, but they wouldn't play ball.
05-18-2009
, 01:14 AM
Katy, JC, dave I see you posting. I don't see you posting pictures of furniture. Dave you even said you have a winner. For some reason I think John is way too classy to have furniture that will fit the thread. Maybe an old chair he reads in or something.
I think HH's couch is the 'worst' thing posted so far. I
it though, and would totally buy it at an estate sale.
I think HH's couch is the 'worst' thing posted so far. I
it though, and would totally buy it at an estate sale.
05-18-2009
, 02:06 AM
Quote:
In the monthly LC thread Wookie posted a picture of his new couch:
Which resulted in the following critique from Zeno:
So I figured we could post our ugly furniture ITT and have it critiqued by Zeno, Dom, and any other furniture fashionistas who want want to lend a hand.
So critique away.
This is my couch:
It's a kind of aquamarine micro-fiber. There's a matching chair as well, but it just got relocated to another room today.
Taking it's place currently is the always comfortable papasan chair. it. It's pretty much used for video gaming and straight chillin':
I've been rearranging my house recently, and decided to turn a little used piece of furniture into a TV stand.
Ballin obv.
Here they are as the trio that comprises my living room set:
Honestly though, none of that is my furniture. It probably will be when I move, but it all belonged to my ex-gf when we lived here together. This chair is mine:
Blue leather. How you like that. I used to have a matching couch but it got left at my last house. The brown is where the dog of the people who gave it to me (my brother-in-law's parents) scratched it repeatedly for years.
Which resulted in the following critique from Zeno:
So I figured we could post our ugly furniture ITT and have it critiqued by Zeno, Dom, and any other furniture fashionistas who want want to lend a hand.
So critique away.
This is my couch:
It's a kind of aquamarine micro-fiber. There's a matching chair as well, but it just got relocated to another room today.
Taking it's place currently is the always comfortable papasan chair.
it. It's pretty much used for video gaming and straight chillin':I've been rearranging my house recently, and decided to turn a little used piece of furniture into a TV stand.
Ballin obv.
Here they are as the trio that comprises my living room set:
Honestly though, none of that is my furniture. It probably will be when I move, but it all belonged to my ex-gf when we lived here together. This chair is mine:
Blue leather. How you like that. I used to have a matching couch but it got left at my last house. The brown is where the dog of the people who gave it to me (my brother-in-law's parents) scratched it repeatedly for years.
Couch: Color ok, Style is mediocre, the pillows need to be a different color (or have some pattern to them) to give a better feel for the setting and offset the monotone sickness. Minus points for the bad skimpy legs. That is a no sex couch - the legs would collapse on the first good thrusting maneuvers.
First chair: Bonus points for ugly pattern and for the general retro 70’s trashy look -Suitable for the garage.
Second chair: Vulgar, Vile, Vainglorious; with more scratch marks and added beer and vomit stains it could get an Al Bundy Honorable mention.
-Zeno
PS. The TV stand was not made by a Quaker. I think it came from a miners shack.
Last edited by Zeno; 05-18-2009 at 02:29 AM.
Reason: Added PS
05-18-2009
, 02:23 AM
Quote:
Hobby's Atrocious (yet Loveable) Apartment Furniture and Decor:
The love seat I mentioned (plus part of a gold wall in the background):
Teal (or maybe it's turquoise) walls:
I love me some gaudy colors!
So, how are you gonna rate my taste in furniture and decor, Zeno? Clearly, mine is better than Wookie...but what about diddy? Is my flowers-and-butterflies loveseat more or less blasphemous than his plaid paisan chair?
The love seat I mentioned (plus part of a gold wall in the background):
Teal (or maybe it's turquoise) walls:
I love me some gaudy colors!
So, how are you gonna rate my taste in furniture and decor, Zeno? Clearly, mine is better than Wookie...but what about diddy? Is my flowers-and-butterflies loveseat more or less blasphemous than his plaid paisan chair?
The Turquoise walls are flat out great. The ceramic bric-a-brac is so-so but passable. The hanging tapestry is a good idea but whatever that is it lacks verve.
The insidious uric yellow wall is a perfect match to the putrid flower enhanced love seat. In overall ugliness that combo is going to be hard to beat.
-Zeno
05-18-2009
, 03:13 AM
Quote:
OK, here we go. Zeno, if bad furniture induces vomiting, turn back now.
What you're looking at:
A. The couch that's being replaced. I think my bro bought it for $100 or so from the Salvation Army for his dorm room. When I moved for grad school, he didn't want it anymore, and it was the only couch we had for me to take. The fabric is scratchy and worn, and a couple seams are busted, revealing the foam, although you can't see it from this angle. The foam inside has been irreparably packed down so that you feel the springs of the cushions poking into your butt when you sit on it. Heaven forbid you sit on one of the cracks between the three chunks: you'll be sitting on an unpadded pole.
B. A coffee table I bought cheap at a garage sale. The finish...would need redoing if this POS was actually worth the effort.
C. This used to be my dad's favorite chair, and my mom had always wanted to throw it out as long as I can remember. When I moved, she sent it with me to get it out of her life. The cushions you see are brand new. My mom bought them to replace the old worn original ones because she was so repulsed by seeing that chair again.
D. Another inherited chair. No one's favorite this time, just a chair to get rid of. We added the billowy cushion to make it actually comfortable enough to sit on.
E. A just lovely blue pile carpet that came with the apartment.
F. An ugly lamp that's at least as old as I am.
G. That lamp sits on an ugly table that's covered in an ugly table cloth. You can't see the pretty hideous trim around the table cloth. I should probably replace that, but it hasn't been a priority.
H. Probably the only nice thing in my apartment. It's a scroll my parents bought in China that's a press of some very old Chinese carvings that were in a cave. You can't see much of it. It extends all the way to the ceiling.
J. Busted old Venetian blinds that also came with the apartment.
K. My computer chair. My living room is also my office.
L. A cheap ugly desk that also came with the apartment. 100% particle board. The specks you see on the top of it are not dirt, but chips in the black finish. However, I didn't own a desk when I moved it, so it stayed.
M. The hardwood floor in this place needed refinishing (if not a complete overhaul) 10 years ago.
N. An ugly painting of owls. This was also inherited. My parents wouldn't hang it, but they gave it to me so I wouldn't have totally bare walls.
What you're looking at:
A. The couch that's being replaced. I think my bro bought it for $100 or so from the Salvation Army for his dorm room. When I moved for grad school, he didn't want it anymore, and it was the only couch we had for me to take. The fabric is scratchy and worn, and a couple seams are busted, revealing the foam, although you can't see it from this angle. The foam inside has been irreparably packed down so that you feel the springs of the cushions poking into your butt when you sit on it. Heaven forbid you sit on one of the cracks between the three chunks: you'll be sitting on an unpadded pole.
B. A coffee table I bought cheap at a garage sale. The finish...would need redoing if this POS was actually worth the effort.
C. This used to be my dad's favorite chair, and my mom had always wanted to throw it out as long as I can remember. When I moved, she sent it with me to get it out of her life. The cushions you see are brand new. My mom bought them to replace the old worn original ones because she was so repulsed by seeing that chair again.
D. Another inherited chair. No one's favorite this time, just a chair to get rid of. We added the billowy cushion to make it actually comfortable enough to sit on.
E. A just lovely blue pile carpet that came with the apartment.
F. An ugly lamp that's at least as old as I am.
G. That lamp sits on an ugly table that's covered in an ugly table cloth. You can't see the pretty hideous trim around the table cloth. I should probably replace that, but it hasn't been a priority.
H. Probably the only nice thing in my apartment. It's a scroll my parents bought in China that's a press of some very old Chinese carvings that were in a cave. You can't see much of it. It extends all the way to the ceiling.
J. Busted old Venetian blinds that also came with the apartment.
K. My computer chair. My living room is also my office.
L. A cheap ugly desk that also came with the apartment. 100% particle board. The specks you see on the top of it are not dirt, but chips in the black finish. However, I didn't own a desk when I moved it, so it stayed.
M. The hardwood floor in this place needed refinishing (if not a complete overhaul) 10 years ago.
N. An ugly painting of owls. This was also inherited. My parents wouldn't hang it, but they gave it to me so I wouldn't have totally bare walls.
A: Suitable for burning or the party couch in the back lawn of a shared rental grad student house. Minus points for no beer or sex stains on the couch - Other than that an Al Bundy Honorable Mention.
B: Functional, has a 70’s feel - Great for banging your shins on.
C&D: Both Chairs have potential, actually not bad.
E: Carpet is passable.
F: Mail that lamp to me and the next time I go shooting in the desert with my brother we will shotgun that thing into oblivion. Peggy Bundy Special.
G: Ditto on the table and tablecloth.
H: Something interesting. Very nice - Bonus points.
I (?): Should have a Van Gogh print of Wheatfield with Cypresses. I assume it is invisible.
J: Useful blinds, good mood setters when the sun is just right.
K: Since you’re a grad student the office chair in the living room (and desk etc) is forgivable. Otherwise, bad vibe.
L: Ditto
M: Hardwood floors are classy. Bonus points.
N: Not very visible but if it is bad then take it down and donate it to the Salvation Army. A bare wall is better than putting up ugliness.
-Zeno
05-18-2009
, 03:31 AM
Quote:
Wookie,
I think your place looks cozy. Seems a bit crowded for me. Here's a wide angle shot of two rooms.
I had letters but I think they are too small.
Well three rooms I guess since you can see my stove and water heater through three doorways. The water heater used to have a privacy type fence around it so it would be out of sight, but I use that to hide the kitty litter box (and to give them privacy).
You can see my diploma on the wall, the chair that matches the couch, a table with my spare TV (currently not even plugged in), the built-in bookcase, and really the only decorative piece in my living room. It was from the entrance hallway of my parent's house when I was a kid, and was given to my parents as a reverse wedding gift from my Japanese aunt. Oh also a spare chair I never use because I don't know when the last time I had more than one other person over is
Edit to add: You can also see my TV tray table/laptop stand. I think my laptop is on 2+2 which is fairly embarrassing.
Here's a pic of some more of my own furniture:
A dresser I've had for as long as I can remember, and a bookcase that I bought when I moved into my first apartment. Interesting note about it is that it leans forward because I threw away what I assumed was an excess piece of particle board during it's construction that actually would have made it level.
I think your place looks cozy. Seems a bit crowded for me. Here's a wide angle shot of two rooms.
I had letters but I think they are too small.
Well three rooms I guess since you can see my stove and water heater through three doorways. The water heater used to have a privacy type fence around it so it would be out of sight, but I use that to hide the kitty litter box (and to give them privacy).
You can see my diploma on the wall, the chair that matches the couch, a table with my spare TV (currently not even plugged in), the built-in bookcase, and really the only decorative piece in my living room. It was from the entrance hallway of my parent's house when I was a kid, and was given to my parents as a reverse wedding gift from my Japanese aunt. Oh also a spare chair I never use because I don't know when the last time I had more than one other person over is
Edit to add: You can also see my TV tray table/laptop stand. I think my laptop is on 2+2 which is fairly embarrassing.Here's a pic of some more of my own furniture:
A dresser I've had for as long as I can remember, and a bookcase that I bought when I moved into my first apartment. Interesting note about it is that it leans forward because I threw away what I assumed was an excess piece of particle board during it's construction that actually would have made it level.
That chair in the corner should be immediately smash to splinters with a sledgehammer. Do it now before I vomit. Thanks. Kelly Bundy Special Star for the chair.
The dresser and bookcase are Ok – clean lines, soft wood tone. At the very least they are not embarrassing.
TV trays are a no-no as they are trailer trash specials, at least yours are wood so less points taken off.
-Zeno
05-18-2009
, 03:50 AM
Quote:
I feel like diddy is trying to upstage me with Zeno by posting pictures of all his many books...so here is my picture of my books...and LOOK I have a cat on top of MY bookshelf...
ZENO - VOTE FOR ME OVER DIDDY! There's a Loeb book on the fifth shelf on the left. OMG...I'm pathetic.
ZENO - VOTE FOR ME OVER DIDDY! There's a Loeb book on the fifth shelf on the left. OMG...I'm pathetic.
The cat is slightly unfair as I'm partial to animals in homes but bonus points for the kitty anyway. The bookshelf has that proper half-sloppy look that all bookshelves should have. At least it gives the appearance the books are more than just window dressing. The extra stuff contaminating the bookshelf is not good and ditto for the comb binders - bad form, remove them and put them under the bed. The bookshelf itself is passable but certainly lacks panache.
Quote:
There's a Loeb book on the fifth shelf on the left.
-Zeno
05-18-2009
, 04:03 AM
Winner! Al Bundy Award of Special Excellence.
Whatever that thing is supposed to be it should not exist. The fact you have it close to the bed is also worrisome. The sheer gall that you would even post a pic of that, that THING shows a completed disregard for any semblance in good taste or judgment. That THING needs to be vaporized by plasma burst. At the very least have it fumigated, as it no doubt contains the bubonic plague.
-Zeno
05-18-2009
, 10:31 AM
Quote:
The insidious uric yellow wall is a perfect match to the putrid flower enhanced love seat. In overall ugliness that combo is going to be hard to beat.
-Zeno
-Zeno
05-18-2009
, 10:38 AM
Quote:
The cat is slightly unfair as I'm partial to animals in homes but bonus points for the kitty anyway. The bookshelf has that proper half-sloppy look that all bookshelves should have. At least it gives the appearance the books are more than just window dressing. The extra stuff contaminating the bookshelf is not good and ditto for the comb binders - bad form, remove them and put them under the bed. The bookshelf itself is passable but certainly lacks panache.
Quote:
What's the title and more important; have you read it and did you gain anything in the reading?
-Zeno
-Zeno
Last edited by HobbyHorse; 05-18-2009 at 10:47 AM.