I finally got my guitar fixed! But... The repair guy was only able to do much, and wasn't able to fix the tone issues entirely.
So, I put it against the wall and it tipped over like a drunk, and now the headstock broke off. Sigh... I guess I have to buy a new guitar now. I don't think it's possible to fix this one and get the tone right. I'd rather pay the extra $150 for an Epiphone Les Paul.
Goodbye old friend.