Moonraker
Not a great Bond. This one took it very cartoonish, dispensing completely with any sort of plot or progression that could be considered realistic. The detective-work and plot driven by ridiculous coincidence would have been too silly for the 60s Batman, and when it did try and be real Bond, it merely felt like a tired retread of old Bonds. Some of my problems:
- Jaws is completely indestructable this time. He's pretty much a precursor for Arnie's Terminator in this one, whether it be falling from thousands of feet with a failed parachute, going over a massive waterfall, and so on...
- Moore looks haggard at this point, the low point being the part where he has to wrestle with what looks like a toy python in a small pool
- The stupid music cues. We get the 5 notes from Close Encounters, the Magnificent Seven and so on at various points.
- The monastery that's a secret training ground for commandos, just because Bond's meeting Q there. Bond casually opening a door to see two "monks" kicking the **** out of each other...what the **** is that about?
- The riff on the scene in The Spy Who Loved Me when the cool car comes up the beach and freaks out the holidaymakers...YEAH, THAT'S DO THAT AGAIN, BUT THIS TIME WITH A GONDOLAH THAT'S A HOVERCRAFT, BUT IN ST MARKS SQUARE, VENICE. AND NOT ONLY WILL WE HAVE A GUY WITH A BOTTLE DOING A COMEDY DOUBLE-TAKE AT THE BOTTLE, WE'LL GET A PIGEON TO DO A DOUBLE-TAKE TOO.
- The complete lack of sex. Holly Goodhead looks okay I guess if you like them severe and slightly androgynous, as do the other girls, but they look antisceptic and sexless, and it's just bland.
- When Bond identifies the source of a toxin to belong to a certain orchid that grows in a certain place (shades of 60's Batman levels of detective work), and goes there in a brilliant speedboat...AND THERE'S A GANG OF GUYS DRESSED IN YELLOW JUMPSUITS WAITING THERE...IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SOUTH AMERICAN RAINFOREST. WHAT, THEY'RE JUST WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO START SHOOTING AT???? Oh, and Jaws happens to be there too.
- At one point, Bond kicks Jaws in the lovespuds, and there's a distinct CLANG. WTF?
Okay, it was silly, but despite the above, there was a few things I liked. I liked the fights, especially in the glass museum/shop place and the cable car. Despite the ridiculous setup, I liked the speedboat sequence. I really liked the bit where a sniper is about to take out Bond whilst he's out shooting with Drax, and Bond takes him out first. I liked some of the outer-space special effects shots. And dammit, I like Richard Kiel's Jaws.
So I didn't hate it - to be fair I was entertained in a kind of enraging way - but it made me roll my eyes so much I still can't look down properly.
58/100
Last edited by diebitter; 07-12-2013 at 06:34 PM.