Married With Children - Episode by Episode Guide and Discussion
09-25-2008
, 01:49 AM
09-25-2008
, 05:36 AM
Season 2: Episode 5 - For Whom The Bell Tolls
Synopsis: Al's beef with the phone company has neighbors and family wanting his hide after the Bundy phone service is cut off. Plus there's a new light outside that he has to pay for, and that keeps shining in his eyes. Little does he know not paying it will lead to personal catastrophe in the form of Peg's mother coming to stay. Oh, and Kelly goes nuts without the phone.
5/10
Not that great, but okay. The mother-in-law jokes are always good, and the best thing about the episode is the image of Al lying in the dark, eyes wide, with the damn light shining in his face.
Dialogue:
-------------------------
Al: Peg, Peg. I can't sleep, what can I do?
Peggy: Well, since we're not using the telephone, we could wrap the cord around your neck and slowly tighten it 'til the sandman comes.
Al: Ah, you women. You can't forget about that maternal instinct, can you?
-------------------------
Peggy: Yeah, the new crime light is really nice. Everyone in the neighborhood is real happy about it.
(Al enters)
Al: I hate those new crime lights. They make everything look yellow. The neighborhood is ugly enough during the day without having to look at it at night.
Peggy: I can't comment on that right now, Mom. Al just alkwed in the orde.
Al: Pig-latin Peg? Must be your mother. Tell her I said 'Oink'.
------------------------
Al: Oh gee, look dear, the new telephone bill came. Lets see. Oh, there is some big fat bills from Milwaukee. You know anybody big and fat from Milwaukee, Peg?
-----------------------
Al: Look, Peg, go out to a payphone, call your mother before she gets to the bottom of her driveway because once she's in motion, you can't stop here! Was that a tremor? Oh God, she must be changing bras!
Synopsis: Al's beef with the phone company has neighbors and family wanting his hide after the Bundy phone service is cut off. Plus there's a new light outside that he has to pay for, and that keeps shining in his eyes. Little does he know not paying it will lead to personal catastrophe in the form of Peg's mother coming to stay. Oh, and Kelly goes nuts without the phone.
5/10
Not that great, but okay. The mother-in-law jokes are always good, and the best thing about the episode is the image of Al lying in the dark, eyes wide, with the damn light shining in his face.
Dialogue:
-------------------------
Al: Peg, Peg. I can't sleep, what can I do?
Peggy: Well, since we're not using the telephone, we could wrap the cord around your neck and slowly tighten it 'til the sandman comes.
Al: Ah, you women. You can't forget about that maternal instinct, can you?
-------------------------
Peggy: Yeah, the new crime light is really nice. Everyone in the neighborhood is real happy about it.
(Al enters)
Al: I hate those new crime lights. They make everything look yellow. The neighborhood is ugly enough during the day without having to look at it at night.
Peggy: I can't comment on that right now, Mom. Al just alkwed in the orde.
Al: Pig-latin Peg? Must be your mother. Tell her I said 'Oink'.
------------------------
Al: Oh gee, look dear, the new telephone bill came. Lets see. Oh, there is some big fat bills from Milwaukee. You know anybody big and fat from Milwaukee, Peg?
-----------------------
Al: Look, Peg, go out to a payphone, call your mother before she gets to the bottom of her driveway because once she's in motion, you can't stop here! Was that a tremor? Oh God, she must be changing bras!
09-26-2008
, 10:56 AM
Season 2: Episodes 6+7, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun 1+2
Synopsis: Al and Steve are letching at a cute female plumber, and Steve gets caught by Marcy, and given the usual MCP lecture. Later, Peg and Marcy go with a group of girls to 'Troys' where there's a ton of male 'dancers'. Marcy loses her wedding ring down the front of Zorro's briefs, and leaves a note to Zorro to return the ring to Peg's address. When Zorro turns up, only Al is home....
7/10 A pretty good one, especially for the ladies (lots of beefcake on show here - I was kind of shocked how much we got to see, actually - with Peg and Marcy dancing with and riding around on male strippers), and covering a major part of the Bundy battlefield - the battle of the sexes. Marcy is shown to be a hypocrite, and even Steve has some great zingers.
First: Al agrees to sex with Peggy when she asks without a fight!
Dialogue:
---------------------
Marcy: I can't believe it. You're just as bad as Al. You're worse than Al. He's nothing but a Neanderthal sexist but at least he doesn't hide it.
Al: Hide it? I've got a T-shirt that says it.
Marcy:I never thought I'd say this. But Steven Rhoades, under that sensitive, caring facade, you're nothing but a... a... man.
Steve: That's not true!
-------------------
Peggy: So Al, you were staring at that girl too?
Al: Yeah...
Peggy: I bet she had great legs.
Al: Yeah...
Peggy: And good breasts.
Al: Yeah...
Peggy: Do you wanna come upstairs.
Al: Yeah... wait a minute, with you?
Peggy: Oh, yeah!
Al: ...okay.
--------------------
Al: (to Kelly) I want you to tell uncle Steve what your guidance counsellor said what career you'd be best suited for.
Kelly: Lumbercamp toy or the other woman
--------------------
Marcy: Uh, Peggy, I'm feeling a little uncomfortable here.
Peggy: That's okay. It usually takes me a while to warm up, too.
(Peggy jumps up with a dollar, and gets on stage and starts dancing with the stripper)
Other Stripper: Hey. Mrs Bundy's back.
Announcer: We're rich!
--------------------
Al Bundy (to Steve, just after he's told him how Zorro got the ring): Do me one favor. When you strip away every ounce of humanity, every shred of pride she has, just when she's bending down to kiss your feet, tell her you got the ring from Al Bundy.
--------------------
Synopsis: Al and Steve are letching at a cute female plumber, and Steve gets caught by Marcy, and given the usual MCP lecture. Later, Peg and Marcy go with a group of girls to 'Troys' where there's a ton of male 'dancers'. Marcy loses her wedding ring down the front of Zorro's briefs, and leaves a note to Zorro to return the ring to Peg's address. When Zorro turns up, only Al is home....
7/10 A pretty good one, especially for the ladies (lots of beefcake on show here - I was kind of shocked how much we got to see, actually - with Peg and Marcy dancing with and riding around on male strippers), and covering a major part of the Bundy battlefield - the battle of the sexes. Marcy is shown to be a hypocrite, and even Steve has some great zingers.
First: Al agrees to sex with Peggy when she asks without a fight!
Dialogue:
---------------------
Marcy: I can't believe it. You're just as bad as Al. You're worse than Al. He's nothing but a Neanderthal sexist but at least he doesn't hide it.
Al: Hide it? I've got a T-shirt that says it.
Marcy:I never thought I'd say this. But Steven Rhoades, under that sensitive, caring facade, you're nothing but a... a... man.
Steve: That's not true!
-------------------
Peggy: So Al, you were staring at that girl too?
Al: Yeah...
Peggy: I bet she had great legs.
Al: Yeah...
Peggy: And good breasts.
Al: Yeah...
Peggy: Do you wanna come upstairs.
Al: Yeah... wait a minute, with you?
Peggy: Oh, yeah!
Al: ...okay.
--------------------
Al: (to Kelly) I want you to tell uncle Steve what your guidance counsellor said what career you'd be best suited for.
Kelly: Lumbercamp toy or the other woman
--------------------
Marcy: Uh, Peggy, I'm feeling a little uncomfortable here.
Peggy: That's okay. It usually takes me a while to warm up, too.
(Peggy jumps up with a dollar, and gets on stage and starts dancing with the stripper)
Other Stripper: Hey. Mrs Bundy's back.
Announcer: We're rich!
--------------------
Al Bundy (to Steve, just after he's told him how Zorro got the ring): Do me one favor. When you strip away every ounce of humanity, every shred of pride she has, just when she's bending down to kiss your feet, tell her you got the ring from Al Bundy.
--------------------
09-29-2008
, 01:06 PM
Season 2, Episode 8: Born To Walk
Synopsis: Al loses his driving license the day Kelly gets hers. Plus he gets a red hot tip for a horse, but needs to get to the track, and has to rely on the women to get there in time...
5/10
This was okay, but not great. The script wasn't as full of jokes as the usual episode, where there's virtually a laugh in every line, and there were many lines which were just exposition. It warmed up towards the end, and saved the episode from just being poor, but not to the usual standard, imo.
Dialogue:
-------------
Al: Kelly is the worst driver in the world.
Kelly: Daddy
got a ticket.
Peggy: Driving with your shoes off again, Al?
Kelly: No, we got pulled over for a busted tail-light, then dad got another ticket because his drivers licence expired last month.
Peggy: That means you had a birthday last month. Happy birthday honey!
-------------
Al: Hey, Steve? You know that two feet, three inches? Well, it was just big enough that a cop spotted me and gave me another ticket for a broken tail-light.
Steve: Well, I warned you, Al.
Al: Yeah, oh yeah. You know, me and you just have to go hunting one day. Yeah, I'll get you a pair of antlers to wear.
Peggy: I thought we were going, Al.
Al: We'll make a day of it!
Synopsis: Al loses his driving license the day Kelly gets hers. Plus he gets a red hot tip for a horse, but needs to get to the track, and has to rely on the women to get there in time...
5/10
This was okay, but not great. The script wasn't as full of jokes as the usual episode, where there's virtually a laugh in every line, and there were many lines which were just exposition. It warmed up towards the end, and saved the episode from just being poor, but not to the usual standard, imo.
Dialogue:
-------------
Al: Kelly is the worst driver in the world.
Kelly: Daddy
got a ticket.
Peggy: Driving with your shoes off again, Al?
Kelly: No, we got pulled over for a busted tail-light, then dad got another ticket because his drivers licence expired last month.
Peggy: That means you had a birthday last month. Happy birthday honey!
-------------
Al: Hey, Steve? You know that two feet, three inches? Well, it was just big enough that a cop spotted me and gave me another ticket for a broken tail-light.
Steve: Well, I warned you, Al.
Al: Yeah, oh yeah. You know, me and you just have to go hunting one day. Yeah, I'll get you a pair of antlers to wear.
Peggy: I thought we were going, Al.
Al: We'll make a day of it!
09-30-2008
, 06:51 AM
Season 2: Episode 9 - Alley of the Dolls
Synopsis: Peggy meets an old high-school rival, Mimi, in the bowling alley, and a challenge ensues, which the Bundys vs a family of nerds. They are hoping that Al and Bud (who has apparently been taking bowling lessons) will carry them through, as Peggy and Kelly stink at bowling. However, Bud hasn't been taking his lessons (he's spent the money on a lifetime pass for the Purple Pussycat Theater), and needs some extra coaching. They also bring in Steve as a ringer...
6.5/10 Not a bad one at all, with lots of amusing lines and physical comedy involving bowling, and it's great to see Al in his element at the bowling alley, where he's not such a big loser all the time.
First: First instance of a 'Whoooooaaaaa Bundy' cheer. First time Kelly is deliberate jailbait material, when she takes off her coat to reveal a very short leather skirt - she waggles her ass at one point to distract a nerd bowler.
Dialogue
---------------------------------------
Steve: Listen Bud, are your folks in? I wanted to ask them if I can be an adopted Bundy. That would help explain my hygiene, grammar and full set of teeth.
---------------------------------------
Peggy: My husband is better than your husband more than you're better than me.
Mimi: Oh yeah? But my kids are better than your kids better than I'm better than you.
Peggy: Yeah well, you're aging badly.
---------------------------------------
Mimi: Peg, so life hasn't been too good to you, huh?
Peggy: I don't work.
Mimi: Well, I don't work either.
Peggy: I don't do anything.
Mimi: Neither do I. I have a maid.
Peggy: Not me. My house is a sty and I don't care
Synopsis: Peggy meets an old high-school rival, Mimi, in the bowling alley, and a challenge ensues, which the Bundys vs a family of nerds. They are hoping that Al and Bud (who has apparently been taking bowling lessons) will carry them through, as Peggy and Kelly stink at bowling. However, Bud hasn't been taking his lessons (he's spent the money on a lifetime pass for the Purple Pussycat Theater), and needs some extra coaching. They also bring in Steve as a ringer...
6.5/10 Not a bad one at all, with lots of amusing lines and physical comedy involving bowling, and it's great to see Al in his element at the bowling alley, where he's not such a big loser all the time.
First: First instance of a 'Whoooooaaaaa Bundy' cheer. First time Kelly is deliberate jailbait material, when she takes off her coat to reveal a very short leather skirt - she waggles her ass at one point to distract a nerd bowler.
Dialogue
---------------------------------------
Steve: Listen Bud, are your folks in? I wanted to ask them if I can be an adopted Bundy. That would help explain my hygiene, grammar and full set of teeth.
---------------------------------------
Peggy: My husband is better than your husband more than you're better than me.
Mimi: Oh yeah? But my kids are better than your kids better than I'm better than you.
Peggy: Yeah well, you're aging badly.
---------------------------------------
Mimi: Peg, so life hasn't been too good to you, huh?
Peggy: I don't work.
Mimi: Well, I don't work either.
Peggy: I don't do anything.
Mimi: Neither do I. I have a maid.
Peggy: Not me. My house is a sty and I don't care
Last edited by diebitter; 09-30-2008 at 07:06 AM.
09-30-2008
, 07:04 AM
09-30-2008
, 11:45 AM
09-30-2008
, 12:09 PM
09-30-2008
, 03:53 PM
10-01-2008
, 07:14 AM
Season 2, Episode 10: The Razor's Edge
Synopsis: Steve's been away on a river rafting trip, and comes back with a beard, which Marcy demands he shave off. He refuses, and moves in with the Bundys. Whilst he's there, he cleans, cooks, does homeowrk with the kids, and makes it a happy home. Peggy can't stand this and tells Marcy she needs to be slutty as Steve is horny, and Steve is about to cave, but Al saves him by showing him a picture of Peg's mom.
However, as Al himself says, God gave men the urge and women the answer, so the inevitable happens.
7/10 - This is a pretty good one, with fairly adult jokes and content, and I laughed at Peg getting more and more peeved as Al starting acting more and more like Steve was his wife.
First: The Bundys have a decent homecooked meal.
Dialogue:
-----------------------
Marcy: Oh Peggy! What am I gonna do? I don't know how much longer I can hold out. But I will not give up my principles for an hour and a half of pleasure.
Peggy: Look, you don't have to give up any...An hour and a half? If you add up all the sex Al and I have ever had it STILL doesn't come to an hour and a half. At least not of pleasure.
------------------------
Marcy: I'm so excited! Steve has been gone for five days. That's the longest we've been apart since we've been married. Well you know how it is Peg. What would you do if Al was gone for five days?
Peggy: Cash in his insurance policy, give the kids to my mother, and travel.
------------------------
Al: Steve, I'm going to give you a gift. A special gift to make you stop thinking about Marcy. I didn't want to do this until it was absolutely necessary, so sit down. Clear your mind. Think of Marcy. Now, take a look at this photo of... my mother-in-law!
Steve Rhodes: AHHHHHHHHHH!
Al Bundy: Everybody says that. Yep, look at her in a two-piece bathing suit, bending over at the beach on the shore of Lake Michigan to pick up her sunglasses, the summer of '71. Notice the perspiration perculating in the folds of her stomach. You'll also notice that her upper arms are blurry. Why you ask? Well, there was a breeze and the camera caught them in mid-flap.
-------------------------
Al: Peg, you know those little brown potatoes that Steve makes? Can you do that?
Peggy: Al, you know about making love for an hour and a half, like Steve does? Can you do that?
(They look at each other for a while.)
Al: Burger king?
Synopsis: Steve's been away on a river rafting trip, and comes back with a beard, which Marcy demands he shave off. He refuses, and moves in with the Bundys. Whilst he's there, he cleans, cooks, does homeowrk with the kids, and makes it a happy home. Peggy can't stand this and tells Marcy she needs to be slutty as Steve is horny, and Steve is about to cave, but Al saves him by showing him a picture of Peg's mom.
However, as Al himself says, God gave men the urge and women the answer, so the inevitable happens.
7/10 - This is a pretty good one, with fairly adult jokes and content, and I laughed at Peg getting more and more peeved as Al starting acting more and more like Steve was his wife.
First: The Bundys have a decent homecooked meal.
Dialogue:
-----------------------
Marcy: Oh Peggy! What am I gonna do? I don't know how much longer I can hold out. But I will not give up my principles for an hour and a half of pleasure.
Peggy: Look, you don't have to give up any...An hour and a half? If you add up all the sex Al and I have ever had it STILL doesn't come to an hour and a half. At least not of pleasure.
------------------------
Marcy: I'm so excited! Steve has been gone for five days. That's the longest we've been apart since we've been married. Well you know how it is Peg. What would you do if Al was gone for five days?
Peggy: Cash in his insurance policy, give the kids to my mother, and travel.
------------------------
Al: Steve, I'm going to give you a gift. A special gift to make you stop thinking about Marcy. I didn't want to do this until it was absolutely necessary, so sit down. Clear your mind. Think of Marcy. Now, take a look at this photo of... my mother-in-law!
Steve Rhodes: AHHHHHHHHHH!
Al Bundy: Everybody says that. Yep, look at her in a two-piece bathing suit, bending over at the beach on the shore of Lake Michigan to pick up her sunglasses, the summer of '71. Notice the perspiration perculating in the folds of her stomach. You'll also notice that her upper arms are blurry. Why you ask? Well, there was a breeze and the camera caught them in mid-flap.
-------------------------
Al: Peg, you know those little brown potatoes that Steve makes? Can you do that?
Peggy: Al, you know about making love for an hour and a half, like Steve does? Can you do that?
(They look at each other for a while.)
Al: Burger king?
10-06-2008
, 07:44 AM
Season 2: Episode 11 - how do you spell Revenge?
Synopsis: Al needs to try and get Peg off the softball team because she sucks at it, whilst Kelly is in a quandry as her latest boyfriend wants the two of them to get tattooed with each other's names.
7/10: This one's sort of all over the place sotrywise, but straightens up by the end by focussing on Kelly's problem - however Al gets in some great zingers, and overall a pretty enjoyable episode.
Dialogue
----------------------
Peggy: Well, look at that Al. He has my name tattoed on his arm. You never did that.
Al: Well, maybe that's because I'm not insane like old Jimbo over there. Well Buddy, thanks for stopping by. Uh listen, next time you wanna mutilate some part of your body, just swing by and show it to us.
----------------------
Al: If god had wanted women to play ball, he'd have made them men.
----------------------
Peggy: So, what's his name?
Kelly: Brian. Oh Mom, I love everything about him. His hair, his lips, his breath...
Peggy: His breath? Really? [glances at Al] Well, there goes the old myth of a girl wanting a guy just like her father.
Al: Peg, I wonder why you never went after a guy like your father. Or weren't there any chronically unemployed social parasites the month you were in your prime?
---------------------
Peggy: I know, I know. I stink. But it was close!
Al: We lost to nuns.
Peggy: I have never been so humiliated. In front of everyone, you told Sister Mary Alice: "bless this, honey".
Al: Hey, I might not know all the religious gestures, but I recognized the one she gave to me!
Synopsis: Al needs to try and get Peg off the softball team because she sucks at it, whilst Kelly is in a quandry as her latest boyfriend wants the two of them to get tattooed with each other's names.
7/10: This one's sort of all over the place sotrywise, but straightens up by the end by focussing on Kelly's problem - however Al gets in some great zingers, and overall a pretty enjoyable episode.
Dialogue
----------------------
Peggy: Well, look at that Al. He has my name tattoed on his arm. You never did that.
Al: Well, maybe that's because I'm not insane like old Jimbo over there. Well Buddy, thanks for stopping by. Uh listen, next time you wanna mutilate some part of your body, just swing by and show it to us.
----------------------
Al: If god had wanted women to play ball, he'd have made them men.
----------------------
Peggy: So, what's his name?
Kelly: Brian. Oh Mom, I love everything about him. His hair, his lips, his breath...
Peggy: His breath? Really? [glances at Al] Well, there goes the old myth of a girl wanting a guy just like her father.
Al: Peg, I wonder why you never went after a guy like your father. Or weren't there any chronically unemployed social parasites the month you were in your prime?
---------------------
Peggy: I know, I know. I stink. But it was close!
Al: We lost to nuns.
Peggy: I have never been so humiliated. In front of everyone, you told Sister Mary Alice: "bless this, honey".
Al: Hey, I might not know all the religious gestures, but I recognized the one she gave to me!
10-06-2008
, 10:19 AM
DB, you'll be glad to know that after I finally relinquished control of the TV remote (the nascar race was over) to Fishette, she looked around for something to watch and ended up on Married with Children! 
Couldn't tell you the episode but they are darn near all funny!!
Couldn't tell you the episode but they are darn near all funny!!
10-07-2008
, 05:10 AM
Season 2, Episode 12 - Earth Angel
Synopsis: Peg and her friends are whining about not getting any, and get all rampant when Marcy boasts she's getting it every 36 hours, except at the weekend 'when we catch up'. She asks Peg for a cigarette as Steve gets turned on when she looks trashy, so the girls borrow cigarettes and crash the bowling alley where the guys are having a bowling night....
Then Bud brings home a 21-year old girl who has nowhere to stay. Once the guys start seeing her, all the girls start getting it regularly, except Marcy (Steve keeps hanging around the Bundy house). Marcy plots to get rid of her.
7.5/10 - This is a great one, where we see some of the gang Peggy hang around with again (saw them in the earlier episodes where they go to 'Troys' and Marcy loses her wedding ring down Zorro's undies. Some great zingers, and great sight gags (One of the girls complains her husband doesn't find her attractive any more, then starts eating cake off her plate like a dog; Al blows a dog-whistle, and one of the women looks around). And when Tiffany leaves, and Peg asks Al upstairs because now he knows doing it more than once won't kill him, and he doesn't want to, you gotta feel sorry for poor Peg.
Dialogue
-------------------------
Peggy: Al, what are you doing home so early?
Al: Peg, you should have seen it. There was a riot at the alley. Your friends showed up, stinking of chocolates and cigarettes. They started yelling 'Take me I'm trash'. Nobody did but then the riot started. It was ugly Peg, men screaming, running for the exits. I didn't quite understand what they were saying but something big is happening in 36 hours. Do we have any canned goods, Peg? This could be it.
-------------------------
Al: Did you hear something on the news?
Peg: Yes as a matter of fact, they said that the sun was going to supernova and we should have sex before the end comes.
Al: I got no time Peg, I gotta go looting!
Synopsis: Peg and her friends are whining about not getting any, and get all rampant when Marcy boasts she's getting it every 36 hours, except at the weekend 'when we catch up'. She asks Peg for a cigarette as Steve gets turned on when she looks trashy, so the girls borrow cigarettes and crash the bowling alley where the guys are having a bowling night....
Then Bud brings home a 21-year old girl who has nowhere to stay. Once the guys start seeing her, all the girls start getting it regularly, except Marcy (Steve keeps hanging around the Bundy house). Marcy plots to get rid of her.
7.5/10 - This is a great one, where we see some of the gang Peggy hang around with again (saw them in the earlier episodes where they go to 'Troys' and Marcy loses her wedding ring down Zorro's undies. Some great zingers, and great sight gags (One of the girls complains her husband doesn't find her attractive any more, then starts eating cake off her plate like a dog; Al blows a dog-whistle, and one of the women looks around). And when Tiffany leaves, and Peg asks Al upstairs because now he knows doing it more than once won't kill him, and he doesn't want to, you gotta feel sorry for poor Peg.
Dialogue
-------------------------
Peggy: Al, what are you doing home so early?
Al: Peg, you should have seen it. There was a riot at the alley. Your friends showed up, stinking of chocolates and cigarettes. They started yelling 'Take me I'm trash'. Nobody did but then the riot started. It was ugly Peg, men screaming, running for the exits. I didn't quite understand what they were saying but something big is happening in 36 hours. Do we have any canned goods, Peg? This could be it.
-------------------------
Al: Did you hear something on the news?
Peg: Yes as a matter of fact, they said that the sun was going to supernova and we should have sex before the end comes.
Al: I got no time Peg, I gotta go looting!
10-07-2008
, 05:14 AM
Quote:
DB, you'll be glad to know that after I finally relinquished control of the TV remote (the nascar race was over) to Fishette, she looked around for something to watch and ended up on Married with Children!
Couldn't tell you the episode but they are darn near all funny!!
Couldn't tell you the episode but they are darn near all funny!!
10-08-2008
, 08:03 AM
Season 2, episode 13: you better watch out
Synposis: Al's mall is now pretty much deserted, with shoppers flocking to the new Lakeside Mall. However, a publicity stunt for the new mall goes wrong, and the Bundys find a dead Santa with an unopened parachute on the premises. Assorted trauma and profiteering follow.
7/10 - A great episode, and one I watch on its own every Christmas (along with one from a later series). The gleeful ghoulishness the writers put into this one is tip-top, and I just love the scene where Al has to pretend to be Santa for the neighbourhood kids. The jingle bell noises whenever they move Santa's corpse also cracks me up.
Firsts: First 'Christmas' Episode of Married with Children, first episode with a specific warning, in this case: "The following depicts a Bundy Christmas. It could be upsetting to small children and others. Parental guidance is suggested".
Dialogue:
----------------------------------------------------
Al: Well, you know how, uh... even when we didn't have too much we could always look at the poor people who were less fortunate than us and feel better. Well, lets find a mirror.
------------------------------
Coroner: Uh-oh!
Al: What? Did the Easter Bunny hang himself in our front yard?
------------------------------
Carl: I wanna know why you came to old man Bundy's house?
Al: Well, I came to bring him special presents, 'cause he sells women's shoes, and he's cursed with a foul wife and has ungrateful kids. But he still goes on.
Carl: But he's a butthead.
Al: No! No he's not. He's the nicest man on the block.
Carl: Wow, you must be Santa!
Al: I told you I was. What do you want?
Al: I want a real live horse.
Al: Hmm... Your mom's the one who makes pies for everyone in the neighborhood but those nice Bundys, isn't she? [Carl nods] All right, Santa will leave you a horse tonight under your tree, but if it's not there in the morning it's because your mommy chased it away and killed it!
------------------------------
Peggy: Come on Marcy, these things happen.
Marcy: WHEN has this ever happened? A guy dressed as Santa Claus goes skydiving, his parachue doesn't open, and he lands right in your back yard?
Peggy: Cheer up. It could have been worse. He could have landed on the picket fence.
------------------------------
Coroner: Pizza, it always reminds me of my first day on the job.
Synposis: Al's mall is now pretty much deserted, with shoppers flocking to the new Lakeside Mall. However, a publicity stunt for the new mall goes wrong, and the Bundys find a dead Santa with an unopened parachute on the premises. Assorted trauma and profiteering follow.
7/10 - A great episode, and one I watch on its own every Christmas (along with one from a later series). The gleeful ghoulishness the writers put into this one is tip-top, and I just love the scene where Al has to pretend to be Santa for the neighbourhood kids. The jingle bell noises whenever they move Santa's corpse also cracks me up.
Firsts: First 'Christmas' Episode of Married with Children, first episode with a specific warning, in this case: "The following depicts a Bundy Christmas. It could be upsetting to small children and others. Parental guidance is suggested".
Dialogue:
----------------------------------------------------
Al: Well, you know how, uh... even when we didn't have too much we could always look at the poor people who were less fortunate than us and feel better. Well, lets find a mirror.
------------------------------
Coroner: Uh-oh!
Al: What? Did the Easter Bunny hang himself in our front yard?
------------------------------
Carl: I wanna know why you came to old man Bundy's house?
Al: Well, I came to bring him special presents, 'cause he sells women's shoes, and he's cursed with a foul wife and has ungrateful kids. But he still goes on.
Carl: But he's a butthead.
Al: No! No he's not. He's the nicest man on the block.
Carl: Wow, you must be Santa!
Al: I told you I was. What do you want?
Al: I want a real live horse.
Al: Hmm... Your mom's the one who makes pies for everyone in the neighborhood but those nice Bundys, isn't she? [Carl nods] All right, Santa will leave you a horse tonight under your tree, but if it's not there in the morning it's because your mommy chased it away and killed it!
------------------------------
Peggy: Come on Marcy, these things happen.
Marcy: WHEN has this ever happened? A guy dressed as Santa Claus goes skydiving, his parachue doesn't open, and he lands right in your back yard?
Peggy: Cheer up. It could have been worse. He could have landed on the picket fence.
------------------------------
Coroner: Pizza, it always reminds me of my first day on the job.
Last edited by diebitter; 10-08-2008 at 08:11 AM.
10-08-2008
, 11:02 AM
Quote:
DB, you'll be glad to know that after I finally relinquished control of the TV remote (the nascar race was over) to Fishette, she looked around for something to watch and ended up on Married with Children!
Couldn't tell you the episode but they are darn near all funny!!
Couldn't tell you the episode but they are darn near all funny!!
10-08-2008
, 11:46 AM
10-08-2008
, 05:22 PM
Quote:
Season 2, Episode 10: The Razor's Edge
Synopsis: Steve's been away on a river rafting trip, and comes back with a beard, which Marcy demands he shave off. He refuses, and moves in with the Bundys. Whilst he's there, he cleans, cooks, does homeowrk with the kids, and makes it a happy home. Peggy can't stand this and tells Marcy she needs to be slutty as Steve is horny, and Steve is about to cave, but Al saves him by showing him a picture of Peg's mom.
However, as Al himself says, God gave men the urge and women the answer, so the inevitable happens.
7/10 - This is a pretty good one, with fairly adult jokes and content, and I laughed at Peg getting more and more peeved as Al starting acting more and more like Steve was his wife.
First: The Bundys have a decent homecooked meal.
Synopsis: Steve's been away on a river rafting trip, and comes back with a beard, which Marcy demands he shave off. He refuses, and moves in with the Bundys. Whilst he's there, he cleans, cooks, does homeowrk with the kids, and makes it a happy home. Peggy can't stand this and tells Marcy she needs to be slutty as Steve is horny, and Steve is about to cave, but Al saves him by showing him a picture of Peg's mom.
However, as Al himself says, God gave men the urge and women the answer, so the inevitable happens.
7/10 - This is a pretty good one, with fairly adult jokes and content, and I laughed at Peg getting more and more peeved as Al starting acting more and more like Steve was his wife.
First: The Bundys have a decent homecooked meal.
Ok, I've watched this one and "How Do You Spell Revenge". Have to say that I much prefer The Razer's Edge. I love the idea that Steve makes a great wife and the Bundy's dig his cooking. Too funny. What a great idea for an episode.
And the photo of Peg's mother
(Why does Al even have a picture of her? lol.)Anyway, this is one of my favorite MWC episodes so far. Turns out I really like the ones with Steve and Marcy. I'm not as interested in the ones with Kelly and Bud.
10-08-2008
, 06:39 PM
Quote:
Ok, I've watched this one and "How Do You Spell Revenge". Have to say that I much prefer The Razer's Edge. I love the idea that Steve makes a great wife and the Bundy's dig his cooking. Too funny. What a great idea for an episode.
And the photo of Peg's mother (Why does Al even have a picture of her? lol.)
Anyway, this is one of my favorite MWC episodes so far. Turns out I really like the ones with Steve and Marcy. I'm not as interested in the ones with Kelly and Bud.
And the photo of Peg's mother
(Why does Al even have a picture of her? lol.)Anyway, this is one of my favorite MWC episodes so far. Turns out I really like the ones with Steve and Marcy. I'm not as interested in the ones with Kelly and Bud.
this is a good episode. I haven't seen it in a long time but I still remember it.
10-27-2008
, 08:23 AM
Season 2, Episode 14: Guys and Dolls
Synopsis: Al and Steve start reliving their childhood by collecting baseball cards, but they kick-start the collection by selling Marcy's 20-year-old Barby Doll. Marcy finds out, so the guys start roaming the streets of downtown Chicago to find the doll...
5.5/10: Nothing very wrong with this, but not much to make it stand out either, apart from Marcy getting psycho - that's always funny.
First: Steve with a black eye
Dialogue:
------------------------
Peggy: I never understood the fascination with Barbie. But I sure could strip Ken with my teeth.
Marcy: (disgusted) Yes, i'm sure.
------------------------
(Discussing Bud)
Peg: I think I know what the problem with him is. He just has too much free time on his hands. Now what are we going to do about that?
Al: Well, we could get him a wife?
------------------------
Marcy: Steve, find them! Find them and kill them! No, don't kill them. Bring them to me. I'll kill them. But not at first. First I'll take a hammer, and smash their toes, little to big. Then, if it was a man, and I know it was a man, I'll turn the hammer AROUND!
Synopsis: Al and Steve start reliving their childhood by collecting baseball cards, but they kick-start the collection by selling Marcy's 20-year-old Barby Doll. Marcy finds out, so the guys start roaming the streets of downtown Chicago to find the doll...
5.5/10: Nothing very wrong with this, but not much to make it stand out either, apart from Marcy getting psycho - that's always funny.
First: Steve with a black eye
Dialogue:
------------------------
Peggy: I never understood the fascination with Barbie. But I sure could strip Ken with my teeth.
Marcy: (disgusted) Yes, i'm sure.
------------------------
(Discussing Bud)
Peg: I think I know what the problem with him is. He just has too much free time on his hands. Now what are we going to do about that?
Al: Well, we could get him a wife?
------------------------
Marcy: Steve, find them! Find them and kill them! No, don't kill them. Bring them to me. I'll kill them. But not at first. First I'll take a hammer, and smash their toes, little to big. Then, if it was a man, and I know it was a man, I'll turn the hammer AROUND!
11-03-2008
, 07:43 AM
Season 2, Episode 15: Build a Better Mousetrap
Synopsis
--------
The Bundys have got a mouse in the house, and Al will go to any lengths to prove he can get it, recruiting Steve into his idiocy.
6/10
Eh, not a bad one, and it's fun to see Steve getting embroiled in Al's antics, and they end up firing poison into each other's faces...
Nothing outstanding, but fun.
Dialogue:
--------------------------
Bud: Did you hear any noises last night, Kell? I mean, for a while I thought they were coming from your room, but they weren't the usual noises. You know, the whispers, "Quiet, you'll wake up my parents." Then the muffled sound of eight footsteps heading for the window. Then the sound of loose change hitting the pillow.
--------------------------------------
Bud: Hey, did anybody here any noises last night?
Peggy: Well, your father had gas.
Bud: No, these were noises I never heard before.
Kelly: Well, then it could have been a girl, moaning your name.
--------------------------------------
Peggy: Is he down there? Did you get him? What happened, Al?
Al: He doodied on the trap. And in my bowling shoes.
Peggy: Oh, my God! He was in your shoes and he lived?!? This is no ordinary mouse.
Synopsis
--------
The Bundys have got a mouse in the house, and Al will go to any lengths to prove he can get it, recruiting Steve into his idiocy.
6/10
Eh, not a bad one, and it's fun to see Steve getting embroiled in Al's antics, and they end up firing poison into each other's faces...
Nothing outstanding, but fun.
Dialogue:
--------------------------
Bud: Did you hear any noises last night, Kell? I mean, for a while I thought they were coming from your room, but they weren't the usual noises. You know, the whispers, "Quiet, you'll wake up my parents." Then the muffled sound of eight footsteps heading for the window. Then the sound of loose change hitting the pillow.
--------------------------------------
Bud: Hey, did anybody here any noises last night?
Peggy: Well, your father had gas.
Bud: No, these were noises I never heard before.
Kelly: Well, then it could have been a girl, moaning your name.
--------------------------------------
Peggy: Is he down there? Did you get him? What happened, Al?
Al: He doodied on the trap. And in my bowling shoes.
Peggy: Oh, my God! He was in your shoes and he lived?!? This is no ordinary mouse.
11-05-2008
, 08:47 AM
Season 2, Episode 16: Master The Possibilities
Buck starts getting mail, then a credit card, whilst Al gets turned down for his. The Bundys hear that if you get for something you didn't ask for, you don't have to pay for it, so go nuts. Little do they realise by signing Buck's name, they're committing forgery and fraud....
7/10 This was a good one, where Peg and Al actually get a taste of the good life, with a few really solid laughs, especially when Al and Peg get to a fancy hotel. Still Al ends up shafted, as usual...
First: Bud gets laid or at least gets some good kissin time.
Dialogue
-------------------
Al: Where is Kelly, by the way?
Bud: Oh, she's out on a double date. Her and two guys.
-------------------
(After Al has to work loading lobsters cos his Credit Card was maxed out
AL: Yeah, when the truck was taking me to the lobster warehouse I said... I said to Sven: "You think it's all worth it, buddy?" and Sven said, "Ven it's for the family it's always vorth it." He also said that a lobster couldn't pinch through an athletic supporter. Sven was 0 for 2 today.
-------------------
AL: And if Sven doesn't need any more help with the lobsters, maybe I can get a job in the zoo circumcizing the Tasmanian Devils!
-------------------
Al: Now, how am I gonna come up with 111 dollars? How am I gonna pay 111 dollars?
Peggy: Well, if you didn't have that grilled cheese sandwich, you could have put it on your credit card.
Al: Yeah, and if your father didn't lace that lemonade with vermouth, I'd be single.
Buck starts getting mail, then a credit card, whilst Al gets turned down for his. The Bundys hear that if you get for something you didn't ask for, you don't have to pay for it, so go nuts. Little do they realise by signing Buck's name, they're committing forgery and fraud....
7/10 This was a good one, where Peg and Al actually get a taste of the good life, with a few really solid laughs, especially when Al and Peg get to a fancy hotel. Still Al ends up shafted, as usual...
First: Bud gets laid or at least gets some good kissin time.
Dialogue
-------------------
Al: Where is Kelly, by the way?
Bud: Oh, she's out on a double date. Her and two guys.
-------------------
(After Al has to work loading lobsters cos his Credit Card was maxed out
AL: Yeah, when the truck was taking me to the lobster warehouse I said... I said to Sven: "You think it's all worth it, buddy?" and Sven said, "Ven it's for the family it's always vorth it." He also said that a lobster couldn't pinch through an athletic supporter. Sven was 0 for 2 today.
-------------------
AL: And if Sven doesn't need any more help with the lobsters, maybe I can get a job in the zoo circumcizing the Tasmanian Devils!
-------------------
Al: Now, how am I gonna come up with 111 dollars? How am I gonna pay 111 dollars?
Peggy: Well, if you didn't have that grilled cheese sandwich, you could have put it on your credit card.
Al: Yeah, and if your father didn't lace that lemonade with vermouth, I'd be single.
11-13-2008
, 08:21 AM
Season 2, Episode 17: Peggy Loves Al - Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
It's Valentine's Day, and Peg decides she doesn't want the 'usual' present from Al, she wants him to tell her he loves her. Al resists. Meanwhile Kelly and Bud are going through their Valentine cards (or not as the case may be), and Marcy is trying to one-up Steve in the anniversary stakes by jumping out of a huge cake naked!
7/10 - Not a bad one at all, some good laughs, and a strange running gag where pretty much every member of the family tries to drink from an empty juice carton, realises it is empty and puts it back. And Kelly is wearing a red dress that's pretty hot - but she's far too young to dwell on that, ahem. And Al finds out Marcy is gonna jump out of a cake naked for Steve, and has the cake delivered to the locker room of the Chicago Bulls instead.... LOLLLLLLL....
Firsts: Bud gets his first real Valentine.
Dialogue:
-------------------
(The doorbell rings)
Al: The hell could that be?
Peggy: Well, it's Valentine's Day, maybe it's Cupid?
Al: Nah, he wouldn't show his face around here again after making this match.
-------------------
Steve: So, what are you getting Peggy for Valentines day? Fur? Jewels? A car?
Al: If it was only that easy. I'm gonna have sex with her. Yeah it's kind of a tradition, every Valentines day I climb those stairs, you know, walk the last mile and slam dunk her one. It's a spin through hell for me but she seems to like it.
-------------------
Marcy: So, do you know what Al's getting you?
Peggy: Yeah, same thing he gets me every year. He's gonna slam dunk me a quick one. Of course those are his words, I mean in reality it's more like a foul shot. You know he takes a deep breath and scores, sure it's worth a point but it will never make the high-light reel.
Marcy: It's like your honeymoon never ended.
-------------------
Marcy: I still have to find him something really good. Something personal, something romantic. Something that symbolizes the depth and purity of our relationship.
Peggy: You could jump naked out of a cake.
Marcy: Yeah! That says it all. But who would know where to find something so kinky?
Peggy: "Cakes A Poppin'". [She takes a card out of a drawer] Just ask for Leif. Here's their number. Oh, and when you pay, have them stamp my card. Two more and I get one free.
-------------------
Peggy: Tell me you love me, Al...
Al: I love football, I love beer, let's not cheapen the meaning of the word.
-------------------
Peggy: I am not going downstairs with you unless you say it.
Al: (in a mocking voice) Withholding sex from me Peg, oh no? Well I guess I'll just have to relax and have fun instead.
It's Valentine's Day, and Peg decides she doesn't want the 'usual' present from Al, she wants him to tell her he loves her. Al resists. Meanwhile Kelly and Bud are going through their Valentine cards (or not as the case may be), and Marcy is trying to one-up Steve in the anniversary stakes by jumping out of a huge cake naked!
7/10 - Not a bad one at all, some good laughs, and a strange running gag where pretty much every member of the family tries to drink from an empty juice carton, realises it is empty and puts it back. And Kelly is wearing a red dress that's pretty hot - but she's far too young to dwell on that, ahem. And Al finds out Marcy is gonna jump out of a cake naked for Steve, and has the cake delivered to the locker room of the Chicago Bulls instead.... LOLLLLLLL....
Firsts: Bud gets his first real Valentine.
Dialogue:
-------------------
(The doorbell rings)
Al: The hell could that be?
Peggy: Well, it's Valentine's Day, maybe it's Cupid?
Al: Nah, he wouldn't show his face around here again after making this match.
-------------------
Steve: So, what are you getting Peggy for Valentines day? Fur? Jewels? A car?
Al: If it was only that easy. I'm gonna have sex with her. Yeah it's kind of a tradition, every Valentines day I climb those stairs, you know, walk the last mile and slam dunk her one. It's a spin through hell for me but she seems to like it.
-------------------
Marcy: So, do you know what Al's getting you?
Peggy: Yeah, same thing he gets me every year. He's gonna slam dunk me a quick one. Of course those are his words, I mean in reality it's more like a foul shot. You know he takes a deep breath and scores, sure it's worth a point but it will never make the high-light reel.
Marcy: It's like your honeymoon never ended.
-------------------
Marcy: I still have to find him something really good. Something personal, something romantic. Something that symbolizes the depth and purity of our relationship.
Peggy: You could jump naked out of a cake.
Marcy: Yeah! That says it all. But who would know where to find something so kinky?
Peggy: "Cakes A Poppin'". [She takes a card out of a drawer] Just ask for Leif. Here's their number. Oh, and when you pay, have them stamp my card. Two more and I get one free.
-------------------
Peggy: Tell me you love me, Al...
Al: I love football, I love beer, let's not cheapen the meaning of the word.
-------------------
Peggy: I am not going downstairs with you unless you say it.
Al: (in a mocking voice) Withholding sex from me Peg, oh no? Well I guess I'll just have to relax and have fun instead.