Season 7, Episode 13: Wedding Show




Synopsis: The Bundys are going to a family wedding. Peggy can't decide what to wear, so while she dresses (and redresses), Al waits and daydreams. Kelly color-coordinates will fellow bridesmaids, deciding that short black leather is always best. Meanwhile, Bud gets to know the bride to be much better than he should!



7.5/10: Hahah, great episode this, with some killer jokes. Bud parading around like Hugh Hefner after having sex is particularly amusing, as is the episode-long joke of Al having to wait for Peg to get ready for the wedding.



Dialogue
=================
Al: Aaaargh! How dare you wake me up that way??
Peg: Who'd you think you were kissing?
Al: [thinks before answering] You.
Peg: I want you to tell me the truth.
Al: Oh, alright. I was kissing my dream girl. She was a magnificent young beast with a great body and luscious hooters.
Peg: Oh, Al. You do dream of me!
------------------
Peg: Your life would be hell without me and you know it. You couldn't find anyone better than me. Come on, admit it. I'm your perfect mate, admit it!
Al: No
Peg: Alright then, why don't you give me a picture of what your ideal mate would be.
Al: Fine. A magnificent young girl, with a beautiful face, slim thighs, and a firm apple of a hiney, and a set of delicious scrumptious hooters.
Peg: Oh, Al, it's me! Oh honey, you would marry me again.

Season 7, Episode 14: It Doesn't Get Any Better than this




Synopsis: It's no vacation for Al when "sisters" Peg and Marcy join his fishing trip and make him referee their constant bickering. Meanwhile, the kids help Jefferson spend Marcy's money.



5.5/10: Luckily it does get better than this. This is mostly a retread of the classic episode 'A Period Piece' with much of the really great stuff in that removed. Essentially Al wants a holiday, but Peg and Marcy insist on tagging along, and completely ruin it for Al while he has to arbitrate their arguing. It's not terrible, it's just not that great, plus it has waaaay too much Seven in it.

Good use of the Benny Hill music though


Dialogue
=================
Al: Silence, feline beasts! Now we have been here ten hours, and in that ten hours the two of you have only been quiet twice. Once, when I asked "How come my luggage forgot to be put in the car?", and then the other time for the hour that Oprah was on - which I find remarkable since we don't have a TV!
Peg: Oh alright Al, but I just have one more question: Which one of us has the firmest hiney?
(Peggy and Marcy bend over on the bed, with their butts in the air. Al screams and covers his eyes.)
Al: Ah ah, I'm blind! I'm blind!

too bad it was disappointing. It sounded like a pretty good plot. And who is Seven again? Their adopted kid or something?

ah it was still fun, it's just weak if you remember 'A Period Piece'. Seven is the kid they inherited from family, he'll be gone soon

Is this where she says to Bud "I want you badly."
and Bud replies "Then that is how you shall have me."?

oooh yeah

If I ever have the opportunity I'm gonna use that line.

Season 7, Episode 15: Heels on Wheels




Synopsis: Working at the diner is getting to Kelly so she decides to rebel by getting a motorcycle, which Peggy deems too dangerous - until she tries it for herself and gets some good vibrations. But it is Al who really takes to the new bike when he imagines himself an easy rider, at least until an untimely head-on meeting with the Dodge.



6.5/10: A pretty good one, more like the episodes from seasons 4 and 5. Kelly being a ditz, Bud being put down nicely in front of women, Al being aggravated by Peg, it's all there. Plus a montage of Al's daydream of being cool on a motorbike. And NO SEVEN

Season 7, Episode 16: Mr Empty Pants




Synopsis: Synopsis: Peggy's magazine cartoon of Al makes him famous, but Al would prefer the fame to be fleeting--until another magazine declares him a sex symbol.


6/10: This suffers from an odd premise (why on earth would Peggy start drawing?), but there's some good lines here or there, especially concerning Bud turning up at Al's photoshoot and trying to get girls in bikinis to do sordid things with him (and mostly succeeding ).

Dialogue:
----------------
(in reference to a group of Japanese tourists stopping a tour bus and calling 'Mr Empty Pants')
Al: They didn't call me that once I mooned them! That should pay them back for Pearl Harbor.

Season 7, Episode 17: You Can't Miss




Synopsis: After one too many dateless Saturdays, Bud appears on a dating-game show for the less experienced - with not quite the expected results. Meanwhile, Kelly believes there is a conspiracy to keep her from knowing what day it is.


8/10: Now, this is more like it, I'm not quite sure after a pretty lean bunch in this season, but I think this is probably a classic episode. In an effort to get some, Bud goes on a dumb dating show where the girls are super-easy and the guys have to be near-virgins. In addition, Kelly is being super-dumb as a dopey attempt by the adults to persuade Bud it's a sunday night rather than a saturday (so he won't feel so bad about another dateless Saturday night) completely work on her. The ending is great, with Bud trying to persuade the trampy girl that he'd treat her like a goddess if she picked him...and you know how that's going to work out....but the tables are turned when his pathetic pleading on TV turns him into a local sex symbol.

Plus I love the bit where Peg is trying to get Al to rub her tushy... she's so damn sexy

Season 7, Episode 18: Peggy and the Pirates




Synopsis: Synopsis: Peg narrates her own pirate fantasy and stars as a captive princess (Scarlet), with Jefferson as her prince (Paco), Al as her captor (and later rescuer) pirate Captain Courage, and Marcy's ex-husband Steve as the evil pirate Rubio the Cruel, who's feared for his terrible showtune singing as much as anything else. The crew is rounded out by Bud, as Fluvio the hunchback First Mate, Kelly as the Navigator, Marcy as the Cabin Boy-girl, and Buck as Long John Buck. Meanwhile, Al has a battle of his own with an overflowed toilet.


7/10: I was fully expecting to hate this, as I distinctly remember rolling my eyes at the story the first time I saw it, many moons ago. But I was wrong back then, this was actually pretty damn funny. And Seven being in it was more than balanced by a guest-spot from Steve. I laughed the loudest when Steve (as Rubio) asked for the virgin to be brought to him, and they bring him Bud. Also lots of good jokes about Marcy's questionable sexuality and Peg's 'virginity'.

Season 7, Episode 19: Go For Old




Synopsis: When Al is mistaken for being 65, he takes revenge by using a senior citizen discount card and competing in the senior athletic games, in which he shows - and gets - no mercy. An announcer reads the following message at the end: "Bet you thought Al was going to let the old guy win. Well, then you haven't been paying attention for the last seven years. But, what we really wanted to do was to give a lesson to all you folks out there". Then, Al says..."It's only cheating if you get caught."


7/10: Another solid entry in this season, with Al taking to pretending to be over 65 like a fish to water once he realises the money he can save as a senior citizen. The old outfit he buys for 42c, when at full price it's $3, is priceless.

Season 7, Episode 20: Unalful Entry




Synopsis: Al has his day in court - as the defendant, sued by a burglar after he decks him to halt the crime. Says Al: "he broke into my house, so I broke into his face".


6.5/10: A reasonable entry, so nice laughs especially when they get to caught and both Kelly and Al make idiots of themselves when trying to act like lawyers. Oh and when Peg finds out he was rubbing the burglar's tushy, cos he thought the burglar was Peg.

Season 7, Episode 21: Movie Show




Synopsis: Kelly breaks a date to accept her parents invitation to celebrate her birthday by going to the movies - where she finds her erstwhile boyfriend with another woman, and Bud tries unsuccessfully to find a girl to sit with him.



7/10: Pretty good, but I had seen it before and remembered it as much funnier than it actually was. Some good moments involving Bud creeping out women, and Al beating up various people.


Dialogue:
---------------------
Al: Bud, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Bud: Kelly's a sucker?
Al: No, I was thinking of luscious hooters.

Season 7, Episode 22: Till Death Do Us Part




Synopsis: Al's deficient bedroom performance is the talk of the town, even though the only person Peggy told about it was Marcy. Now its up to Al to get himself back into shape.



7/10: Not bad, and we witness the Bundy's having sex (or hear it, at least) within 5 or 6 seconds. Some good laughs watching Al get into shape, and finally giving the good stuff to Peg (see picture above).


Dialogue:
------------------------------
Al: How ya feeling, Peg? I'm surprised you could make it down those stairs this morning.
Peg: I know. I was pretty tired. I hope that buzzing didn't keep you awake last night.
Al: Yeah, those damn bees! You know, and one must've stung ya too, because I heard you scream.

Season 7, Episode 23: Tis Time to Smell the Roses




Synopsis: Al takes a $12,000 offer for early retirement from the shoe store, but Peg's mismanagement of their finances (via shopping), sends him back into the job market - where he hears opportunity knocking with a chance to buy a store called "Homeplate Athletic Shoes". Meanwhile, Charlene Tilton visits the Bundy house, trying to sell an Abdomenizer.

5/10: Pretty unremarkable, reasonably funny. It does have two things of interest - The family using 'Sock Daddy' while Al's out to pretend there's a real father they can respect in their house, and Charlene Tilton.

Season 7, Episode 24: The Old Insurance Dodge


Synopsis: While Al waits for the insurance company to settle on the theft of his cherished old Dodge, he test drives possible replacements - like a Lincoln and a Mercedes. Meanwhile, Kelly seeks a new car on sale for 50K, so she starts collecting "K's".

6/10: Functional, reasonable episode with a few solid laughs, but nothing special. Outstanding part is where Kelly thinks when a car is prices at 50K, she needs to collect 50 letter 'K's -- and she ends up disappointed when she calls to but and the dealer says the price is 50G's.

Season 7, Episode 25: The Wedding Repercussions



Synopsis: Synopsis: Bundy Cousin Jimmy is out to find the man who dallied with his fiancee on their wedding day [in the episode "WEDDING SHOW" (713)], and he asks for help from Bud - the guilty party.

6.5/10: Fun episode where Bud has to wiggle out of a nasty predicament whilst blackmailed by Kelly. There’s some rather good interaction between Al and Bud under the guise of fatherly advice – where some Bundy Credos are revealed.

Dialogue:
--------------
Bundy credo #1:
Lie when your wife is waking
Lie when your belly's aching
Lie when you know she's faking
Lie, sell shoes, and lie.
---------------
Bundy credo #2:
Hooters, hooters, yum yum yum
Hooters, hooters, on a girl that's dumb.
---------------
Al: Son, I see you're hurting, so I wanna say this to you and I wanna say it sincerely: bla, bla, bla.

Season 7, Episode 26: The Proposition



Synopsis: Vanna White plays a millionaire cosmetics mogul who hasn't met anyone like Al since the time they spent together at Polk High. Now she is offering to pay $500,000 to buy a chance to be with him again, but will Peggy agree to give up Al?

6.5/10: Kind of fun seeing Al the object of female lust, whilst his family can’t actually believe it’s happening.

Dialogue:
--------
Kelly: Adieu, which is French for 'A deer, a female deer'
--------
Peg: Al, you have a disgusting piece of cheese on your chin!

(Al fumbles for the cheese, but Coco beats him to it; removing the cheese from his chin and eating it.)

Coco: Everything tastes better from Al's mouth.
Kelly: Catch me, Bud, I think I'm gonna faint.
Bud: Okay, Kel.

(Kelly faints, Bud holds his arms out. Kelly falls on the floor, due to Bud
intentionally not catching her. Bud laughs.)

Peg: Kids, please. Not in front of rich, world famous company. [Kelly stands up again] Uh, Coco - and I think I can call you by your first name, since you just ate off my husband's chin - tell me, why are you here?
Coco: Because no one has ever satisfied me like your husband.
Kelly: Catch me, Bud, I think I'm gonna faint.
Bud: Okay, Kel.
(Again, Kelly falls without Bud catching her. Bud again laughs.)

Season 8, Episode 1: A Tisket, a Tasket, Can Peggy Make a Basket?



Synopsis: When Al manages to get prime tickets to an all-star basketball game, Peggy spoils his fun by insisting she come along. Things turn even worse when she trades places with Al just before his former seat is chosen for a $10,000 free-throw contest. Meanwhile, Kelly tries to net herself a basketball player.

7/10: A really good season opener, with Al being the object of the Universe’s scorn, Peg annoying the hell out of him, and a nice final shot. I laughed a lot throughout.

Dialogue:
----------
Peg: I'm just going over to Marcy's.
Bud: But Mom, you'll miss Dad's latest episode of "A fat woman came into the shoe store today."
Peg: Actually I already knows how it ends. He doesn't get the sale or a life.
----------
Al: This woman comes into the shoe store, and she is so fat, she actually has 3 smaller women orbiting around her. So I'm trying to force a pair of size 13 shoes on her jurassic feet...
---------
Marcy: He's taking me to see The Captain and Tennille unplugged!
Al: Gee, you would have thought someone would have plugged them by now.
Jefferson: It's their big reunion concert.
Marcy: Guess who's opening for them?
Al: The Carpenter?
Marcy: You saw it in the paper.
Jefferson: Yeah, these reunion concerts are great. They stir memories of the good times you've had with the woman you've always loved, and the great ones of the women you barely knew!

Does anyone actually still read this thread?

Yes.

Yessir!

Oh yeah......

MM MD