Season 7, Episode 4: Al on the rocks



Synopsis: When Peggy uses up the monthly mortgage money to pay Seven's doctor bill, Al is forced to take a second job: bartending at a topless bar - where it's the bartender who's topless. Meanwhile, Peg starts banning the other Bundys from the house to protect Seven from their germs

6/10: Not a bad one, especially from the Al/Jefferson/Marcy interplay. It's fun to see Al get all excited about working in a topless bar until he finds out he's the topless barperson, but then really get into it when old, ugly women throw themselves at him.


Dialogue:
------------------------------
Peg: Oh my God, Al. After all these years of experimenting, you've finally something to do with your pelvic area.
Al: Wait, Peg, there's more.
Peg: Oh, Al. You've been saying that for years. I think it's time we dropped the senseless charade. But it's fine, Honey, really it is.

Season 7, Episode 5: What I Did for Love



Synopsis: The way to a man's heart may be through his stomach, but it's not the heart that's sought by Peggy - who is tired of being ignored by Al in the bedroom so she tries a variety of enticing new outfits in an attempt to whet the appetite of an otherwise starving Al. Unfortunately, the only thing Al wants is a steak dinner.


6.5/10: Pretty good, with some excellent lines, especially Peggy pointing out Al's sexual inadequacies. Peggy also looks pretty damn hot in this one.


Dialogue:
------------------------------
Al: Peg, you're down here. I must have been dreaming that you ran off with that dwarf down at the bookstore, and that I'm living in sin with a Playboy centerfold and her eight roommates who can speak, but choose not to.
------------------------------
Seven: What's the difference between men and and women?
Al: One works... and the other is a woman.
Seven: So, Mrs. D'Arcy is a man?
Al Bundy: Yes

Season 7, Episode 6: Frat Chance



Synopsis: To meet girls, Bud starts his own "cool" community college fraternity "Alpha Gonna Get 'em", but the premiere toga party in the Bundy garage) lacks fun... and women. A.G.G.'s motto is: "Lookie, lookie, we're gonna get some nookie", and also: "We'll do good on our tests, so we'll feel some breasts".


6.5/10: Haha, the first in a few concerning Bud's own fraternity. In this one it consists of an old guy, a Hindu convenience store clerk Achmed, and geek Francis. They are total failures until they follow a suggestion from Kelly, and tell everyone they are gay. Then beautiful girls flock to them. Al and Jefferson then get involved...


Dialogue:
------------------------------
Peggy: I want to see a movie with Mel Gibson's butt.
Marcy: I want sensitivity.
Jefferson: I want killings.
Al: I want boobies.
[They all start arguing]
Al: Boobies. Boobies. Boobies. Boobies.
[Kelly comes downstairs; all but Al stop]
Al: Boobies. Boobies. Boobies. Um... Hi, Pumpkin.
Kelly: You know, I haven't heard anybody chant that word since me and my girlfriends were standing around when this old guy in this Dodge drove by... Ew, Daddy!
-------------------------------
Gerri (a beautiful brunette): I'm telling you, all it takes is a good woman to set you straight.
Bud: Well, I've tried. But I just can't find a woman to excite me. But you do... a little.
Gerri: Well, what can we do to make it a lot?
Bud Bundy: I don't know. I'll think about it.
[Bud rests his head against Gerri's chest, grinning like a holy fool]

the hindu kidin this episode was so annoying

really? He barely said anything.

Married With Children now streaming from Netflix. No excuse for anyone not to watch it now. Well, except bad taste, but there is no cure for that. Besides a hammer.

Season 7, Episode 7: The Chicago Wine Party



Synopsis: The Bundys hit the voting booths, united to defeat political correctness -- and a new 2 cent beer tax. When their causes lose at the polls, the Bundys hit the streets for some good old fashioned pillaging.


5.5/10: Yeah, this was okay, but only a few good gags. Seeing Al in monologuing mode is always fun, and this and the video about the history of beer (which consisted of some bikini'd girls saying 'beer') was the best part.


Dialogue:
------------------------------
Al: I'm never voting again. Like marriage, no matter who you choose it turns out bad. Unless you're rich. They get everything they want - well, fine! Let them have their birds and their air and their - even their Presidents. We cared about beer. And they took it away from us. [people start to gather around Al] Yeah, sure, what do they care if a man who sells shoes or fixes cars or totes that barge or spears that doodie in the park has to use his whole pay check to buy one beer... what do they care? They're at their outdoor restaurants eating their little pizzas and drinking some fine wine in the No Smoking section with their sexy skinny second wives. But we're breeding with peasant stock! No offence, Peggy. One thing I know: we're never going to win through the system. Voting has never been the American way. We didn't get away from that pansy country England by voting! We did it by throwing their stinkin' tea in our American habor! [the crowd cheers] And why? Because Americans don't like tea. We like coffee. And Americans don't like wine. We like beer! Ice cold... Ice-cold-best-in-a-bottle-but-fine-anyway-you-can-get-it-belching-burping-wake-up-in-a-pool-of-it beer. So let's show 'em how a beer man votes. Let's get blitzed and take it to the streets. Let's strike a blow anywhere they dine al fresco. Anywhere they eat brie cheese. And anywhere they wear their pants up high around their waist in the [with disgust] European way. [the crowd nods in agreement] The only thing that Americans understand is mindless Tom 'n' Jerry cartoon-like violence! So let's go kick some elite butt. Give me beer, or give me death! Or both.

Let's pillage.

Season 7, Episode 8: Kelly Doesn't Live Here Anymore



Synopsis: Al decides another Bundy must find a job, and the axe falls on Kelly. This breaks Peggy's heart since no Wanker woman has ever worked before. Kelly must first experience the wonderful world of waitressing, prior to finding her true calling as Kelly Bundy: Philosopher/Waitress.


5.5/10: Actually a pretty good story, but could have had more laughs. The part where Kelly has a full waitress makeover with hair up in some sort of beehive was fun, she reminded me of the old sitcom 'Alice' (anyone remember that? KISS MAH GRITS!) which was inspired by the movie 'Alice doesn't live here any more' (which of course inspired the title of this episode). Also, Al explaining that Bundy's are 'losers, not quitters' is also always fun.


Dialogue:
------------------------------
Wayne: Hey, didn't you take my picture once while I was on a pleasure cruise? I think Florence Henderson was on there too.
Jefferson: You think if I'm really that good-looking guy from "The Love Boat" you really think I'd be doing this? I'd be rich. Would you like another picture Captain... err... I mean Fonzie... err... I mean Al?
-------------------------------
Miss Parker: Now that you're a "waitress", stay away from my new husband. He's only 18 and still peaking.
Kelly: Well, he'd have to peek. He wouldn't want to look at you dead on.

sorry to bring up an ep that was previously discussed but did you realize this episode was actually banned by the network for like 10 years? and then they edited it to air? lolz... i've been rewatching this series too and found this hilarious because so many other eps were way racier and this one had to be edited and canned for a decade even. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I%27ll_See_You_in_Court

there was this woman who boycotted the show and encouraged advertisers to bail on the show as well with a letter writing campaign, after viewing this ep (her cups runneth over). she was referenced in later episodes too, her name was "terry rakolta" from michigan. in s4e14 rock & roll girl a newscaster is said to be from bloomfield hills, mi and in s9e9 no pot to pease in, when marcy says the bundy family was canceled because "some woman in michigan didn't like it."

lol some Americans are crazy.

oh I remember that episode, Sketchy. That was a great one. So funny.

Db, is Peggy's maiden name Wanker? I didn't remember that. I love the line "No Wanker woman has ever worked before." That's too funny. Peggy is my hero.

i'm rusty on my peggy back story but i believe wanker is where she's from. i seem to recall hearing "wanker county" referred to multiple times. can't remember what state it's in, but i BELIEVE it's up north like wisconsin.

i'd bet her maiden name was referred to at one point but i can't recall it.

Ah, Wanker County. Well that makes more sense. I'm rusty on my MWC facts. lol, I thought Wanker was a funny maiden name

Wikipedia says Margaret "Peggy" Bundy (née Wanker)[...]

Yep - Wanker.

In the high school reunion episode, her rival zings her with "Peggy Wanker? Don't bother to thank her......."

MM MD

oh **** now i'm confuuuuuuuuuuused

She is from Wanker county, and everyone from there is called Wanker, cos they are all related. Peg says so herself in one episode. It's in response to Kelly asking her if she was related to the boy they saw at some gas station they stopped at coming into town, and Kelly does a huge 'ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww' when she finds out she's related to that boy. You can work it out...


I wouldn't think too hard about that, its kind of gross.

Oh and are you guys familiar with what Wanker means here in England?

Yep.

Let me know when you want a Peg avvy

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah we're aware lol

and yeah i get it now (post prior to this) i just didn't think that "deep" prior to your explanation lol

Season 7, Episode 9: Rock of Ages




Synopsis: When his paycheck is abducted by bill collectors, Al decides to enter a shoe-selling contest. The prize: a first-class ticket to Hawaii, which the family turns into four standbys. But that doesn't keep them from hobnobbing in the first-class lounge with six musicians. Al masquerades as rock star Axel Bundy from "Shoes and Socks". The Bundys later join in to sing for "Old Aid".




6.5/10: This is reasonably funny, but actually a lot of fun as well. It starred a lot of old rockers, of which I only recognised Peter Noone. I did like the riff on Live Aid at the end ('old aid'), and Al getting a tune out a pastrami sub.




Dialogue:
------------------------------
We are the old, we've got arthritis
Our gums are weak (so weak), from gingivitis
We are the old, we've got arthritis
We are the ones who wear bifocals, and have bursitis
There are people younger, but we heed another call
We really need the money, our accountants took it all
We sing to you, those who have money
Once we was cool, but now we just dress funny
We need your help, so please please dig deep
Don't call after ten, 'cause we'll be asleep
We have medicare, and anti-gas pills
But without your help, we can't pay our alimony bills
We are the old, [they are the old]
We have arthritis [they have arthritis]
Once we were gods, now golf excites us [golf excites 'em]
So write a check (a really big one), for our december
There's one more verse, but we can't remember...

Season 7, Episode 10: Death of a Shoe Salesman




Synopsis: Al buys a cemetery plot so he can be buried next to his hero, the late western-movie sidekick "Fuzzy McGee" and the mule "Dadgummit". But where does that leave Peggy?




6.5/10: Fun, but no classic, but it does open with a scene that makes me shudder. Al is watching an old Western and loving it, and telling the kids to watch the next part cos it's great, and loving it even more when it happens...and the kids look bored and confused. This is way too much like my life to be funny. However, an upside is the devilchild Seven isn't in it.


Dialogue:
------------------------------
Al: Ho ho ho! Isn't this great? Ah, look at The Duke. One of his finest films: "I Shoot 'Em 'Cause They're Injuns". [to Kelly] As a woman viewer, what's your opinion, Pumpkin?
Kelly: Daddy, I would rather be reading. Does that tell you anything?
Al: It tells me you're a girl, which means your opinion means less to me than the dog's. [to Bud] Bud, what do you think?
Bud: Well, Dad, I'm thinking this Duke guy walks a lot like you when you have to go to the bathroom.
Al: I copied that walk!
------------------------------
Al: Peg! Good news.
Peg: They've raised minimum wage for the bald?

Season 7, Episode 11: The Old College Try




Synopsis: Thanks to a lucrative grant ($25,000), Bud is ready to leave home and start the good life at college... until Al and Peg accidentally discover the money and grant it to themselves.


6/10: A few solid laughs in this one, but not really outstanding, though I do like the scene where Al and Bud have a father-son talk, which equates to "son, don't bother with big panties, only go for little panties", and I like the final scene tha's a payoff to this first one, where Al gives Bud the full college experience - by taking him on a panty raid. I did like it though, even though Seven was in a few scenes.

I think the scene where they had this picture from was one of my all time favorites. Even just looking at the pic now has me killing myself.

Season 7, Episode 12: Christmas




Synopsis: Synopsis: In the company of his peers at a Santa bar, mall Santa Al recalls Christmases past when he managed to avoid getting gifts for Peggy, Kelly, and Bud by turning them against each other. Unfortunately this year the family shows a united front, which has caused Al's present predicament.


7/10: This was a good one, with lots of funny scenes. There's a whole section which is a flashback to 1974, with Kelly as a toddler, Bud as a baby who can only say two words ('playboy','hooters') and Al with a full head of hair, and a section with Al working as a Santa and having to put up with various annoying kids, and Marcy. They even sing a song about him, as composed by Marcy. And his family arrange 12 jobs for him to do so he can buy them presents.



Dialogue
=================
Christmas jobs for Al:
With twelve days till christmas, your family got for you:
12 days fruit picking,
11 off-ramp selling,
10 toilets cleaning,
9 digging graves,
8 sneaking sewers,
7 spearing rats,
6 training guard dogs,
5 giving blood!
4 crash-test dummying,
3 jobs roach-killing,
2 jobs dog catching,
and one job Santaing at the mall.


Marcy's song for Al (to the tune of Frosty the Snowman):
Bundy the no-man,
he's as bald as he can be.
With the hair in his nose and rot on his toes,
he's as bald as he can be.
Bundy the no-man,
he's as bald as he can be.
He's into old age,
making minimum wage,
he's as bald as he can be...