Married With Children - Episode by Episode Guide and Discussion
05-20-2011
, 06:04 PM
Season 6, Episode 15: Just Shoe It
Synopsis: Who better to star in a new athletic-shoe commercial than 1966 Polk High All-City running back and shoe salesman Al Bundy? (To represent the ordinary shlub non-athlete...)
5.5/10: Eh, some decent lines and setup, but not a classic. It's nice to see Sugar Ray Leonard clock Al, I guess.
Synopsis: Who better to star in a new athletic-shoe commercial than 1966 Polk High All-City running back and shoe salesman Al Bundy? (To represent the ordinary shlub non-athlete...)
5.5/10: Eh, some decent lines and setup, but not a classic. It's nice to see Sugar Ray Leonard clock Al, I guess.
05-20-2011
, 06:58 PM
05-22-2011
, 05:23 PM
Season 6, Episode 16: Rites of Passage
Synopsis: Peg plans a clown-and-pony party for Bud's 18th birthday, but Al offers him a Bundy tradition - his first visit to a nudie bar and his first bar fight. Meanwhile, Buck falls in love with the pony. Also, Sticky the Clown is pretty damn scary.
8.5/10: This is a stone-cold classic. We see the nudie bar for the first time, and almost every line is a joke. Plus we get the classic Bundyisms about the nudie bar.
Before the bar visit:
Where the music stinks, and they water the drinks, the nudie bar.
Where the girlies dance in their underpants, the nudie bar.
Where you see their butt, and their trap stays shut, at the nudie bar.
After the bar fight:
Where you can't touch a breast, but you can cave in a chest, at the nudie bar.
Where you look at a thigh, and blacken an eye, at the nudie bar.
Where the beer gives you gas, but the Bundys kick ass, at the nudie bar.
Synopsis: Peg plans a clown-and-pony party for Bud's 18th birthday, but Al offers him a Bundy tradition - his first visit to a nudie bar and his first bar fight. Meanwhile, Buck falls in love with the pony. Also, Sticky the Clown is pretty damn scary.
8.5/10: This is a stone-cold classic. We see the nudie bar for the first time, and almost every line is a joke. Plus we get the classic Bundyisms about the nudie bar.
Before the bar visit:
Where the music stinks, and they water the drinks, the nudie bar.
Where the girlies dance in their underpants, the nudie bar.
Where you see their butt, and their trap stays shut, at the nudie bar.
After the bar fight:
Where you can't touch a breast, but you can cave in a chest, at the nudie bar.
Where you look at a thigh, and blacken an eye, at the nudie bar.
Where the beer gives you gas, but the Bundys kick ass, at the nudie bar.
05-23-2011
, 05:40 PM
Season 6: Episode 17 - The Egg and I
Synopsis: Marcy's ex-husband Steve is in town and on the lam, carrying hope for reconciliation and a price on his head for stealing a rare hawk egg.
6.5/10: This is solid with some good lines and setups. It's good to see Steve again, and funny how the Bundys don't tell him Marcy has remarried, and then take a position to watch the fireworks. Al being struck blind whenever Marcy shows her lingerie is a good recurring joke.
Dialogue:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcy: I know why you're back. You're back... for this!
[she rips off her nightie, revealing her negligee]
Al: [off screen] I'm blind! My eyes, my eyes!
Steve: Okay, I get the message! But remember, what's good for the goose, is good for the gander. Take this to your grave!
Steve: [rips open his shirt, showing his scrawny chest] Take THIS to your grave!
Peggy: [off screen] WAAAAHH! Now I'm blind, too!
Synopsis: Marcy's ex-husband Steve is in town and on the lam, carrying hope for reconciliation and a price on his head for stealing a rare hawk egg.
6.5/10: This is solid with some good lines and setups. It's good to see Steve again, and funny how the Bundys don't tell him Marcy has remarried, and then take a position to watch the fireworks. Al being struck blind whenever Marcy shows her lingerie is a good recurring joke.
Dialogue:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marcy: I know why you're back. You're back... for this!
[she rips off her nightie, revealing her negligee]
Al: [off screen] I'm blind! My eyes, my eyes!
Steve: Okay, I get the message! But remember, what's good for the goose, is good for the gander. Take this to your grave!
Steve: [rips open his shirt, showing his scrawny chest] Take THIS to your grave!
Peggy: [off screen] WAAAAHH! Now I'm blind, too!
05-24-2011
, 04:19 PM
Season 6: Episode 18 - Dinner With Anthrax
Synopsis: It's Al and Peg's 20th anniversary, and Peggy wants only one thing from Al... Meanwhile Kelly and Bud win the "My dinner with Anthrax" contest, which means a house party with the thrash-metal band, but there will be no party unless they get rid of mom and dad first. The answer: tricking them into taking a Florida "vacation" that turns out to be a time-share sales scam where the salesman won't leave them alone.
6/10: Some good jokes here, especially at the expense of Marcy and Anthrax (Anthrax think Marcy is a guy). And Fred Willard is in it as a pushy salesman who just gives up when he hears Al is a shoe salesman.
Dialogue:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
PEGGY: Well, this year I want something special.
AL: Oh, all right. How much?
PEGGY: What I want won't cost you a thing.
(AL BRIGHTENS)
PEGGY: I want to be made love to.
AL: And you think that's not gonna cost me anything?
PEGGY: And I am not just talking about sex, Al. I want to be made love to.
AL: What in Sam Hill does that mean?
PEGGY: I want to be held, I want to be caressed, I want to be romanced.
AL: Peg, wait a second, I've been secretly hiding a hundred bucks. What say I just give it to you and we call it even?
Synopsis: It's Al and Peg's 20th anniversary, and Peggy wants only one thing from Al... Meanwhile Kelly and Bud win the "My dinner with Anthrax" contest, which means a house party with the thrash-metal band, but there will be no party unless they get rid of mom and dad first. The answer: tricking them into taking a Florida "vacation" that turns out to be a time-share sales scam where the salesman won't leave them alone.
6/10: Some good jokes here, especially at the expense of Marcy and Anthrax (Anthrax think Marcy is a guy). And Fred Willard is in it as a pushy salesman who just gives up when he hears Al is a shoe salesman.
Dialogue:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
PEGGY: Well, this year I want something special.
AL: Oh, all right. How much?
PEGGY: What I want won't cost you a thing.
(AL BRIGHTENS)
PEGGY: I want to be made love to.
AL: And you think that's not gonna cost me anything?
PEGGY: And I am not just talking about sex, Al. I want to be made love to.
AL: What in Sam Hill does that mean?
PEGGY: I want to be held, I want to be caressed, I want to be romanced.
AL: Peg, wait a second, I've been secretly hiding a hundred bucks. What say I just give it to you and we call it even?
05-27-2011
, 04:00 PM
Season 6: Episode 19 - Psychic Avengers
Synopsis: Al is a broken man when the Bundy's can no longer afford to buy a weekly TV Guide. When Jefferson arrives with a fistful of cash, Al discovers he has been running a psychic scam called "Madame Zelda". To keep him quiet, Jefferson decides to let Al in on the deal, but Al soon takes over the whole operation and the rest of the Bundys join in. Can Al unite the five psychic bosses of Chicago? Will he be able to escape Madame Inga's curse?
6/10: Not bad, but not outstanding. It's good to see Al acting like a success, and knowing it's going to come all crashing down at any minute.
Dialogue:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jefferson: Madam Inga has called up all the dark forces of Sweden against you.
Al: What's going to happen? I wake up one morning owning a Volvo? Spend the rest of my life as a skier? Or worse, wake up one morning next to a tall Nordic beauty with big honkers?
Synopsis: Al is a broken man when the Bundy's can no longer afford to buy a weekly TV Guide. When Jefferson arrives with a fistful of cash, Al discovers he has been running a psychic scam called "Madame Zelda". To keep him quiet, Jefferson decides to let Al in on the deal, but Al soon takes over the whole operation and the rest of the Bundys join in. Can Al unite the five psychic bosses of Chicago? Will he be able to escape Madame Inga's curse?
6/10: Not bad, but not outstanding. It's good to see Al acting like a success, and knowing it's going to come all crashing down at any minute.
Dialogue:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jefferson: Madam Inga has called up all the dark forces of Sweden against you.
Al: What's going to happen? I wake up one morning owning a Volvo? Spend the rest of my life as a skier? Or worse, wake up one morning next to a tall Nordic beauty with big honkers?
06-05-2011
, 01:22 PM
Season 6, Episode 20: Hi IQ
Synopsis: An invitation to a join the high intelligence "Alpha Club" at a party is issued to Kelly - and not to Bud. When they discover the real reason behind the gathering, Kelly and Bud decide to handle things with the usual Bundy charm (and violence). Meanwhile, Al buys a new "Handyman's Workbench 5000", which unfortunately has "some assembly required". This challenges the combined intellects of Al and Jefferson, as Peg and Marcy watch and enjoy the show by taking pictures and counting the injuries.
6/10 - Not bad, but not great. Al and Jefferson idiotically trying to put together a workbench is the best thing in it, and there is plenty of it, but not much else apart from that
Dialogue:
Bud: Kel, I don't know if I should be telling you this what with me hating you and all, but... do you know what a pig party is?
Kelly: Of course I do, I'm a genius. It's where a bunch of cute people find ugly dates, pretend to like them, take them to a party, and laugh at them til they cry.
Bud: So, you've done it before?
Kelly: That hurts. Have I ever invited you to a party? That proves I've never been to one.
Bud: Well, you've been to one now. This is Alpha's version of a pig party, Kel. Instead of ugly people they invite... how should I put this delicately? Morons, cretins, fools, mind-blowing imbeciles.
Synopsis: An invitation to a join the high intelligence "Alpha Club" at a party is issued to Kelly - and not to Bud. When they discover the real reason behind the gathering, Kelly and Bud decide to handle things with the usual Bundy charm (and violence). Meanwhile, Al buys a new "Handyman's Workbench 5000", which unfortunately has "some assembly required". This challenges the combined intellects of Al and Jefferson, as Peg and Marcy watch and enjoy the show by taking pictures and counting the injuries.
6/10 - Not bad, but not great. Al and Jefferson idiotically trying to put together a workbench is the best thing in it, and there is plenty of it, but not much else apart from that
Dialogue:
Bud: Kel, I don't know if I should be telling you this what with me hating you and all, but... do you know what a pig party is?
Kelly: Of course I do, I'm a genius. It's where a bunch of cute people find ugly dates, pretend to like them, take them to a party, and laugh at them til they cry.
Bud: So, you've done it before?
Kelly: That hurts. Have I ever invited you to a party? That proves I've never been to one.
Bud: Well, you've been to one now. This is Alpha's version of a pig party, Kel. Instead of ugly people they invite... how should I put this delicately? Morons, cretins, fools, mind-blowing imbeciles.
06-06-2011
, 06:31 PM
Season 6, Episode 21: Teacher Pets
Synopsis: Bud's belief that his 40-year-old teacher is romantically interested in him is greeted by guffaws from Al and Kelly, but another student smells the smoke and wants some fire for herself. Meanwhile, Peggy has a cold. Can Bud keep two girls, or will he suffer a humiliating Bundy defeat?
7/10: This is a solid one, a definite step up from the last few, where Bud takes centre stage, and delivers. In addition, we get to hear Al listen to the theme from 'Psycho Dad' (and Peg gets 'Psycho Mom'). And Bud gets truly humiliated when Al crashes his class to accuse his teacher of inappropriate behaviour (and the foxy teacher has been replaced by an old lady...)
Dialogue
------------
"Psycho Dad" theme song in this episode:
A little touched or so we're told.
Killed his wife 'cause she had a cold.
Might as well, she was gettin' old.
Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad.
He's quick with a gun, and his job ain't done.
Killed his wife by twenty-one, he's Psy-cho Dad!
"Psycho Mom" theme song:
Who's the gal who needs no man?
Killed him dead with the frying pan.
Did it 'cause he missed the can.
Psycho Mom, Psycho Mom, she's Psy-cho Mom!
Synopsis: Bud's belief that his 40-year-old teacher is romantically interested in him is greeted by guffaws from Al and Kelly, but another student smells the smoke and wants some fire for herself. Meanwhile, Peggy has a cold. Can Bud keep two girls, or will he suffer a humiliating Bundy defeat?
7/10: This is a solid one, a definite step up from the last few, where Bud takes centre stage, and delivers. In addition, we get to hear Al listen to the theme from 'Psycho Dad' (and Peg gets 'Psycho Mom'). And Bud gets truly humiliated when Al crashes his class to accuse his teacher of inappropriate behaviour (and the foxy teacher has been replaced by an old lady...)
Dialogue
------------
"Psycho Dad" theme song in this episode:
A little touched or so we're told.
Killed his wife 'cause she had a cold.
Might as well, she was gettin' old.
Psy-cho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad.
He's quick with a gun, and his job ain't done.
Killed his wife by twenty-one, he's Psy-cho Dad!
"Psycho Mom" theme song:
Who's the gal who needs no man?
Killed him dead with the frying pan.
Did it 'cause he missed the can.
Psycho Mom, Psycho Mom, she's Psy-cho Mom!
06-07-2011
, 04:18 PM
Season 6, Episode 22: The Good-Bye Girl
Synopsis: When Kelly's modeling school suddenly closes down, she gets a new job as a greeter at the "TV World" theme park. When this is threatened by her low performance ratings, Kelly gets switched into "Commercial Land" where she plays "The Verminator" who hunts down roaches (like Bud). Meanwhile, Al takes his annual "Bundy World Tour", a week-long around the world vacation (by himself), in the Bundy living room.
6.5/10: This is pretty good, with some excellent ideas. Standouts are Peg's disgust at hearing Kelly has a job (though they could have played many more laughs out of that than they did), Al's 'vacation', Kelly acting just like Al after a days work, and Bud demanded he deserves respect, whilst dressed as 'King Roach'.
Dialogue:
--------------
Kelly (coming in after a day of work, talking just like Al): Why doesn't the world explode into a giant ball of pus?
Synopsis: When Kelly's modeling school suddenly closes down, she gets a new job as a greeter at the "TV World" theme park. When this is threatened by her low performance ratings, Kelly gets switched into "Commercial Land" where she plays "The Verminator" who hunts down roaches (like Bud). Meanwhile, Al takes his annual "Bundy World Tour", a week-long around the world vacation (by himself), in the Bundy living room.
6.5/10: This is pretty good, with some excellent ideas. Standouts are Peg's disgust at hearing Kelly has a job (though they could have played many more laughs out of that than they did), Al's 'vacation', Kelly acting just like Al after a days work, and Bud demanded he deserves respect, whilst dressed as 'King Roach'.
Dialogue:
--------------
Kelly (coming in after a day of work, talking just like Al): Why doesn't the world explode into a giant ball of pus?
06-09-2011
, 03:14 AM
Season 6, Episode 23: The Gas Station Show
Synopsis: Al turns sentimental after watching the film "Shenandoah" on TV so he proclaims to the family that it is now "Bundy Sunday Funday", but first they must push the Dodge to a gas station. Unfortunately Al is broke after buying $2 worth of "full service" gas, and when the family raids the store for junk food he is stuck working off his debt at the pumps. When Al eventually forces Bud to help him, the first car to arrive contains four platinum blondes of the Swedish Bikini Team. This leaves Al with the Chicago Bowling Team, consisting of four very large women.
8.5/10: Hahaha this is a classic Bundy. Stuck in the gas station and hating the world, poor Al gets dumped on by pretty much everyone - but they don't all get their way. Never before has a single shot (above) described an entire episode so completely.
Dialogue:
--------------
Peg: We're in trouble. Daddy's watching "Shenandoah".
Bud: No, not the one where Jimmy Stewart beats all odds to preserve his family.
Kelly: You know when they crank up the theme song, Dad's gonna blow like a geyser.
(The theme song starts. Al, who had been watching intensely, starts to cry like a baby.)
Peg: Oh, we're doomed. He's gonna want to spend time with us now.
--------------
Kelly: Daddy, is Bundy Sunday Fun-day officially over?
Al: Ah yes, Pumpkin, I'm, I'm afraid that it is. But don't worry, see, next week we're gonna take a nice drive into the woods and we're going huntin'. See, I'll be the only one carrying a the rifle and you kids can run out there and flush out the game. We'll call it Bundy Sunday Gun-day.
Kelly: Oh boy!
Synopsis: Al turns sentimental after watching the film "Shenandoah" on TV so he proclaims to the family that it is now "Bundy Sunday Funday", but first they must push the Dodge to a gas station. Unfortunately Al is broke after buying $2 worth of "full service" gas, and when the family raids the store for junk food he is stuck working off his debt at the pumps. When Al eventually forces Bud to help him, the first car to arrive contains four platinum blondes of the Swedish Bikini Team. This leaves Al with the Chicago Bowling Team, consisting of four very large women.
8.5/10: Hahaha this is a classic Bundy. Stuck in the gas station and hating the world, poor Al gets dumped on by pretty much everyone - but they don't all get their way. Never before has a single shot (above) described an entire episode so completely.
Dialogue:
--------------
Peg: We're in trouble. Daddy's watching "Shenandoah".
Bud: No, not the one where Jimmy Stewart beats all odds to preserve his family.
Kelly: You know when they crank up the theme song, Dad's gonna blow like a geyser.
(The theme song starts. Al, who had been watching intensely, starts to cry like a baby.)
Peg: Oh, we're doomed. He's gonna want to spend time with us now.
--------------
Kelly: Daddy, is Bundy Sunday Fun-day officially over?
Al: Ah yes, Pumpkin, I'm, I'm afraid that it is. But don't worry, see, next week we're gonna take a nice drive into the woods and we're going huntin'. See, I'll be the only one carrying a the rifle and you kids can run out there and flush out the game. We'll call it Bundy Sunday Gun-day.
Kelly: Oh boy!
06-13-2011
, 01:09 AM
[QUOTE=diebitter;27024257]Season 6, Episode 24, 25, 26: The England Show
Synopsis: The Bundys win a trip to England, courtesy of the village Lower Uncton, which can rid itself of a centuries-long curse by ridding the world of male Bundys - and there are just two left. Back in 1653, an ancestor of Al's - Seamus McBundy, insulted a fat, ugly witch who then imposed a curse on the village and all future male Bundys. The Lower Uncton residents must kill the last male Bundys inside their city limits in order to end the curse, while Upper Uncton people must insure they die outside the city so the curse becomes permanent and Lower Uncton stays as their tourist attraction.
4/10: This sounds to me like the perfect Bundy three-parter - the Bundys go to England! However, it is pretty bad. Firstly, there just aren't that many laughs in it - there's about the same number of laughs in the 3 as there is in any decent single episode in this series. And really, take the Bundys away from an audience, and their timing seems to be a tad off. A disappointing end to this season.
Synopsis: The Bundys win a trip to England, courtesy of the village Lower Uncton, which can rid itself of a centuries-long curse by ridding the world of male Bundys - and there are just two left. Back in 1653, an ancestor of Al's - Seamus McBundy, insulted a fat, ugly witch who then imposed a curse on the village and all future male Bundys. The Lower Uncton residents must kill the last male Bundys inside their city limits in order to end the curse, while Upper Uncton people must insure they die outside the city so the curse becomes permanent and Lower Uncton stays as their tourist attraction.
4/10: This sounds to me like the perfect Bundy three-parter - the Bundys go to England! However, it is pretty bad. Firstly, there just aren't that many laughs in it - there's about the same number of laughs in the 3 as there is in any decent single episode in this series. And really, take the Bundys away from an audience, and their timing seems to be a tad off. A disappointing end to this season.
07-04-2011
, 04:04 PM
Season 7, Episode 1: Magnificent Seven
Synopsis: The Bundys have another mouth to feed as Married... with Children starts a new year. In the seventh-season opener, Peggy's cousin Zemus and wife Ida Mae Wanker make a quick visit and leave behind their five-year old son Seven, who is captivating to Peggy - and only Peggy. She sees this as her chance to finally be a great mother... or at least try.
6/10: This episode causes me inner conflict. I love the fact that Peg's relatives are played by Bobcat Goldthwait and Linda Blair - it seems so appropriate - but this is also the episode that introduces us to the worst character of the entire show - Seven. And he would - ugh - be present in a little run of episodes to follow this. I really hate this kid. What the hell were the producers thinking.
Dialogue:
-----------------------------------------------
Ida Mae: We're swingers. We're into swapping.
Zemus: But don't be put off. It doesn't have to be the traditional man-woman thing. (Zemus puts his arm around Al)
Synopsis: The Bundys have another mouth to feed as Married... with Children starts a new year. In the seventh-season opener, Peggy's cousin Zemus and wife Ida Mae Wanker make a quick visit and leave behind their five-year old son Seven, who is captivating to Peggy - and only Peggy. She sees this as her chance to finally be a great mother... or at least try.
6/10: This episode causes me inner conflict. I love the fact that Peg's relatives are played by Bobcat Goldthwait and Linda Blair - it seems so appropriate - but this is also the episode that introduces us to the worst character of the entire show - Seven. And he would - ugh - be present in a little run of episodes to follow this. I really hate this kid. What the hell were the producers thinking.
Dialogue:
-----------------------------------------------
Ida Mae: We're swingers. We're into swapping.
Zemus: But don't be put off. It doesn't have to be the traditional man-woman thing. (Zemus puts his arm around Al)
07-26-2011
, 03:18 PM
Season 7, Episode 2: T-R-A-something-something spells Tramp
Synopsis: Peggy seeks Saturday-night conversation with Al, while Bud gets a date with a desperate girl, and Kelly discusses men with two of her friends after being stranded by her date.
3.5/10: This episode is one of the really poor ones. Sure, there's a few laughs, but it's all-round weak.
Synopsis: Peggy seeks Saturday-night conversation with Al, while Bud gets a date with a desperate girl, and Kelly discusses men with two of her friends after being stranded by her date.
3.5/10: This episode is one of the really poor ones. Sure, there's a few laughs, but it's all-round weak.
08-16-2011
, 04:04 PM
Season 7, Episode 3: Every Bundy has a birthday
Synopsis: When Peggy discovers that nobody knows Seven's birthday, she chooses a date for him at random. Al is not pleased when it turns out he has lost his birthday to the new kid. Peggy decides to have a party for Seven at a local park, but the party poops when another parent proclaims the public park private for his own son's party.
6/10: Yeah, not a bad one, but it loses half a point because its centrepiece is the execrable Seven. Some good laughs, good lines and it's always good to see the Bundys kick some rich butt. But, my god, Seven is annoying.
Dialogue:
------------------------------
Bud: Bundy's a name you earn. Our emotional scars run so deep you can almost see them.
Synopsis: When Peggy discovers that nobody knows Seven's birthday, she chooses a date for him at random. Al is not pleased when it turns out he has lost his birthday to the new kid. Peggy decides to have a party for Seven at a local park, but the party poops when another parent proclaims the public park private for his own son's party.
6/10: Yeah, not a bad one, but it loses half a point because its centrepiece is the execrable Seven. Some good laughs, good lines and it's always good to see the Bundys kick some rich butt. But, my god, Seven is annoying.
Dialogue:
------------------------------
Bud: Bundy's a name you earn. Our emotional scars run so deep you can almost see them.