Season 5, Episode 12: Married...with Who?




Jefferson arrives!


Synopsis: After boozing it up at a party, Marcy wakes up wearing a wedding ring, and in bed next to her new husband. Unfortunately, she doesn't remember a thing about it. The husband turns out to be ex-swindler Jefferson D'Arcy, which makes her name now Marcy D'Arcy. Then Marcy and Jefferson decide to have a proper wedding they actually remember, and the dumbasses give the Bundys all their money to arrange it.



6.5/10: I do like this one a lot, and the first half has some great jokes, but it's not quite so funny in the second half. Whenever I watch this one, I'm always willing Al to pick up a line of jokes based on the fact Jefferson was a jailbird, and how this makes Marcy attractive to him, but Al never does. They missed some obvious gags with that one imo.



Dialogue:
-------------
Peg: Question two. Who would you rather spend the night with? A - your wife, or B...
Al: B.
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Marcy: All I know is I woke up this morning with a man in my bed. I don't even know who he is.
Al: Well, that's easy, he slept with you, he's the stupidest man on earth.
-------------
Marcy: It's just that I can hardly believe that I'm now mrs... Darling. What's your last name?
Jefferson: D'Arcy
Marcy: [Turn slowly back towards Peggy] ... Marcy D'Arcy... I'm now MARCY D'ARCY! What have I've done. Maybe I should start wearing little dresses with dots on them
-------------
Jefferson: Listen, Al, I just dropped by to thank you for utterly betraying my trust. It was malicious and foul, but I think it's gonna turn out to be a blessing. I mean, it helps get our marriage off on an honest, healthy, harmonious start.
Marcy: [off-screen] JEFFERSON D'ARCY! GET YOUR LYING, INMATE ASS OVER HERE *NOW*!

I think this is what the show did better than any other show I've ever seen, although this isn't the best example. I don't even know what you call them, but they're these layered retorts referenced above, each a little better than the last.

Al and Peg do it all the time, where Al will say something, then Peg will give a nice sarcastic retort, then even though you could leave it there, Al comes over the top with the game winner. And sometimes, there's even a fourth.

This is part of what makes the show so watchable. There's so much humor squeezed into such tight spaces.

Season 5, episode 13: The Godfather



Synopsis: Kelly is dating a 41-year old city alderman, so Al seizes the possibility of power, and becomes the neighborhood "Godfather". And comes up with a surefire moneymaker. But, you know, it's Al.


6.25/10: Pretty good, but no really great lines. Fun to see Al get all Sicilian.



Dialogue:
----------------
Al: Peg, when you married me, was it premeditated or a drive-by marriage?
Peg: What difference does it make? I missed.
----------------
Al: I composed this little note to the city.... "Dear maggots and foul bureaucrats. I pay taxes!" [to Peggy] They'll never check. [continues reading letter] "You grafting pigs use my money to wine and dine cheap bimbos, never once thinking to share them with the rest of us. So please fix the pothole in my driveway, and the street light above it, and for the thousandth time please... annul my marriage. Signed, a voter." [to Peggy] They'll never check!
---------------
Peg (to Kelly): You are dating a man old enough to be my father?
Al: Peg, she's not dating Lincoln.

Dude, how can you give ANYTHING a 4/10 that features Kelly and Tia Carrerre?!

And how have I not seen this episode. 20 times.

There was a feature on Biography last night about MWC. It was awesome.

Season 5, Episode 14: Look Who's Barking



Synopsis: Buck just isn't being fed, so goes out scavenging, but finds a girl-dog who he takes home to feed and get some lovin. She screws him over, of course. Also, Al gets obsessed with getting a certain cheesecake.


6/10: A good one, not great, but notable because Buck is voiced (excellently) by Cheech Marin, and it features BB King as a busker on the street - who's terrific. Watch if for these, imo. No Peg in this episode

Dialogue:
-----------------
Al: This is a horrible hoax! This isn't an authentic Chuck's Cheesebowl cherry cheesecake! You went to the wrong place!
Marcy: I don't think there are a lot of Chuck's Cheesebowl's in Tunoose, Wisconsin... just a "belch and a holler!" from Wanker County. Where we met so many nice people who said wise things like, "I gots my own teeth!"
Jefferson: Yeah, and, uh, "I'll trade you my sister for your Bic lighter."
Marcy: Oh yes, we had such a nice time. We must show you the slides of me getting fondled at the gas station by something that was half-man, half-owl.
Kelly: Dad, they met Cousin Hooty!
-----------------
Al: [setting out the cheesecake] I must fetch my cheese goggles. Now, you two may admire it... but don't touch it! This cheese means more to me than both your lives.
-----------------
Bud: Well, once again Dad has gone where no cartoon character has dared to go.

Season 5, Episode 15: A Man's Castle



Synposis: Peg wants a hobby, and enrolls, for 2 grand, into a decorating school. Al forbids her from decorating, but she turns his bathroom into a chamber of pink and frills. The sight of it makes Al pass out, but he comes up with a novel way to get back at Peg when she brings her class to visit, for grading.

6.5/10: I liked this one a lot. There were some good lines, and an excellent premise of all the men driven out of their own homes and left queueing at a gas station restroom - and when Al tells em his story, they let him go first out of sympathy. Also, he's eating a ton of spicy foods when Peg brings her class, to the tune of Bad To The Bone, cracked me up. Also a great line insulting the French was present, which always adds half a point.

Season 5, Episode 16: All Night Security Dude




Synopsis: When the second floor aerobics studio collapses into his shoe store, Al gets laid off while the store is being repaired. He gets a job as a security guard at his old school. This prompts his former high school sports rival to steal the prized football trophy.

6.25/10: Some good lines and a good story, also sars Bubba Smith (Hightower from the Police Academy movies), we see Al reliving his glory years, and wrecking Bud's date with a floozy. Al earned it - he scored 4 touchdowns in one game, you know. He describes one of his touchdowns as the greatest event in sport, ever. I especially liked the part where the two men are trying to outdo each other in how bad their life turned out, and it gets to comparing pictures of mother-in-laws.


Dialogue:
----------------------
Peg: Why don't you get a number plate to tell the world how you feel inside, Al?
Al: Because 'kill me' was taken by your dad.
----------------------
Al Bundy: So pardon me if I don't cry for you, Argentina! But I sell women's shoes, *and* I'm married!
Spare Tire Dixon: Oh, yeah?
[takes out his wallet]
Spare Tire Dixon: Well, I'll bet your mother-in-law doesn't look like this.
[He shows a photo to Al, who gasps and recoils, then recovers and takes out his own wallet]
Al Bundy: No, my mother-in-law looks like this.
Spare Tire Dixon: [sees the photo] Okay, okay!
----------------------
Al: You know that new aerobics center above me? The one with the sign "quarter ton discount"? Well, today they played Van Halen's 'Jump'. And damned if the whole herd didn't. It was awful. The ceiling broke open, and down they came, blocking out the sun. I experienced cellulite winter. God, the "humongity". Peg, I could have been killed.
Peg: Well, I think you got what you deserved, going by that place every morning yelling, "is that a Milky Way on the floor?"

i love this show and am gonna start watching it again now. a couple other old shows i'd like to watch but don't think are available are Taxi and Cheers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqHbrgB0MC0

Cheers is awesome. Never got into Taxi.

I've got Married With Children set to record on my DVR now, and with the frequency that it comes on different channels I should have all the episodes recorded by the end of next week.

Taxi and Cheers are available, as are Night Court and WKRP In Cincinnati.
I have a season or two of each of them.

i saw taxi like 15 years ago. is it as good as i remember??

OH YEAH, the other classic show i want to watch is HAPPY DAYS. and maybe I LOVE LUCY.


ETA: yes they are as good as i remember.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NxGO2lx-A0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wp3m1vg06Q
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvn-tBeLpCk

i just watched this episode, i was pretty surprised to see this dialogue...
diebitter you mentioned it but didn't quote the best of the show.

steve: that's illegal
al: so is dressing up a chicken and caling it your wife but you're stil doing it

Taxi has the best shows and Cheers is the most consistent, IMO. The best Taxi shows are more or less unbeatable.

Taxi is my favorite sitcom ever. So damn perfect.

Yeah, but the next line (well, it's delivery) is even funnier than this....

The Taxi episode "Reverend Jim: A Space Odyssey" I think it's called, where Jim has to take the cabbie test, is probably the funniest episode of any sitcom, ever.

So share it with us.

"What does a yellow light mean?"

"Slow Down."

"OK, Whaaaat doooes aaa Yellllow light mean?"

Yeah, sorry for being a tease, but it's really in the delivery.

Marcy says to Steve something like 'why does he keep saying I'm a chicken' whilst standing with fists on hips and nodding head - like a chicken...

just got to this line, so good.




is it just me, or is there no show like Married with Children around today? and really, why does it seem impossible that they could make a show like this today?

Yes I remember it well now.

But I think the Al line about dressing a chicken up and calling it your wife is one of the greatest lines ever.

It seemed impossible that they could make a show like this back then, too. It got tons of flack for many years. The only reason it didn't get even more was probably because the Simpsons came along to take some of the heat.

It came out at the height of smarmy 50's nostalgia and over-earnest tripe like The Cosby Show.

but the simpsons isn't like it at all, i can't think of any show like married with children. in the simpsons, lisa is the genius and bart is an idiot. i love how MwC LOVES stereotypes and they make jokes and base all the story lines off the stereotypes in the crudest, most proud way possible. it seems really unamerican type of show.

I've always thought that, whilst MWC is the clearly one of the working-Joe American of shows in spirit, it's actually very British too in its casual contempt, and cracking off the funnies in the worst of circumstances... It felt right when we found out that Al's ancestors were English in later seasons. The Bundy refrain of hating quitters is very English.

But it also is a truly American show to me, paradoxically, almost above any other show.

The Simpsons has mellowed a ton since it first came out. Now everybody's basically nice. When it first came out, Homer wasn't as dumb but was more mean, Marge was fallible, neither Bart nor Lisa were as under control or as nice, Barney was approaching terminal, Moe had no soul, Smithers wasn't chummy and cute but more of a bastard, and Mr. Burns was much more threatening. They were much more at each other's throats, and the show was much more critical. Faces weren't so smooth and pleasant; expressions were angrier.

There was basically nobody out there taking potshots at corporate America and businessthink at the time besides the Simpsons, unless you want to count the even more cartoonish The Dukes of Hazzard's making fun of small town Southern corruption through caricatures that didn't take a dig at anyone halfway recognizable from real life.

Now the Simpsons is just as many lame jokes as they can pack into a half hour, everyone's nice or at least harmless, and there are few digs at our society and its mores. This is now, but that was then.