Season 4, Episode 3: Buck saves the Day
Synposis: Al somehow gets roped into taking a gang of kids camping (after being sold to the highest bidder by Bud), and is accompanied by Steve. Meanwhile Peg has some of her friends over to play poker, and they all get fleeced by Kelly. Al+co get stranded in the woods, and he sends Bud out to rescue them. Guess what happens.
6.5/10
Pretty good, with a great opening shot of Al picking his feet to the total disgust of Peg + Bud. Al takes quite a paternal hand to the kids though, constantly warning them of the dangers of marriage, and should be applauded. Steve acting like an experienced woodsman and then getting poisoned/bitten also made me laugh.
Dialogue:
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Bud: Come on Kel, just do like I do. Use your wits.
Kelly: I do.
Bud: I said wits. With a 'w'.
Kelly: Mom, he's spelling at me again.
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Al: Once upon a time, there was a young boy. A boy... full of hope. He was single, and he was happy. Then one night, much like tonight, something rose from the swamp. He heard a noise behind him: thump-thump, thump-thump. He walked a little faster. Thump-thump-thump-thump. Then he saw it. There, in the light of a bar, stood the evil, redheaded, high-heeled spandex monster. He ran from it. He stood it up, he dated others, but nothing could stop it! He could hear it's wild call: "oh honey? Honey?" It was horrible. Finally... it trapped him. Opened... opened its hideous mouth, beared its fangs and said, "marry me?"
Victor: And did he marry it, Danno?
Al: Yes, I'm afraid he did. And he was never heard from again. But the worst of it is that there still some of them out there. There might me one be one behind that tree! But there might not be. But beware, wherever a man is free, and has change in his pockets, they'll come a creapin' and... they can't be stopped.
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Al: Okay kids, we get out of here alive what are we going to do? Victor.
Victor: Never marry.
Al: That's right. So remember, kids, when you meet a woman, no matter how nice she is or what she looks like, remember: women get worse. They get...
Victor: Older.
Joey: Meaner.
Bud: Fatter?
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Peggy: Pick a place and park. The night is young, the men are gone, the game is poker. And the only thing "wild" is me! Kelly, you wanna join us?
Kelly: Sure, why not? [to herself] Look what my life has become. Playing cards with a bunch of sea hags.
(Kelly gets up and takes a place at the table.)
Marcy: Have you ever played before?
Kelly: Just with the guys.
Fern: Well, ante up.
(The women start to get their money out and Kelly starts to take off her top, but stops when she sees that the others are all staring at her. She slowly lowers her top.)