Set up:
Basically draft whatever actors, directors, writers, composers, etc... you want to make a movie making studio with and write a little why you are picking them.
Everyone botched this so badly that I will have to set it straight; now that I have time.
I'm trying to think like a mogul here. –John Cole
John was on the right track but lacked the amoral balls to actually do the dirty deed and the rest of the boggle heads that built up their studios missed the basic and most principle personage needed to make a studio function at its most efficient and highest level - The Producer. Not a single producer (exclusively) was drafted. Such a fundamental error requires correction. Lacking a producer for the studio is like having a blues band with no bass or harp.
First, I own the studio; called Three Heads Studio.
Now what kind of Producer is the best? A picture is worth a thousand words:
Alexander Putin. A macho and charismatic megalomaniac with piles of money and the inside track to accrue oodles more by wringing it out of his influential friends and admirers, or by extortion and blackmail from his enemies. His latest machinations in Russia prove his admirable talents in this direction, and in the province of power mongering, swindling the public and being a genius at immoral to amoral practices that are so essential in the movie making business.
The plain and simple fact is that with this one pick; I rule the entire draft, hands down (or heads off, if you prefer a more sobering image). It does not matter one iota what the rest of you picked: great actors, sultry actresses, forward-thinking directors, writers, composers etc. They are all mine. If I want Paul Newman for a film, I get him; the yokel studio that thinks they have a contract with him will be burned to the ground and the owner will show up on the evening news in a body bag. If I want Rossellini and Scorsese and Wells, they are all mine; if I desire P. G. Wodehouse and Cesare Zavattini, they are in my office in a trice, kowtowing as if their lives depended on it, because it does. With this one swift move the movie making art will progress by degrees of magnitude unheard of. I as owner with my great producer Putin, to put all the pieces in place, and an unlimited budget for whatever film I wish to make and the unlimited supply of talent at my beck and call – well; the sky is the limit, to toss out a cliché.
Everything from zombie movies to porn movies to haute culture films, to satisfy the meanest moron to the most sophisticated intellectual, will be spewed out at lightning speed. To put it simply; I will rule the entire movie industry with a fist of iron in a benevolent dictatorship. The moronic masses will be satisfied and the high brow eggheads will be dazzled and everyone will be saying this is the best of all possible worlds.
The fact that everyone whiffed the most important ball thrown from the mound of destiny shows a lack of critical thinking skills so immense that it only reinforces my misanthropic distain for humanity and any future it may have. You Yahoos get what you deserve in the end - Me and Putin. Better learn to live with it.
Zeno: Master of the Movie Universe
Two Plus Two
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