Thanks all. Tomorrow I suppose I'll do a proper TR.

Anyone know what happened to Katy? She hasn't posted in like a week. I'd PM'd her shortly after her last post and never got a response.

Open Mic trip report (long and boring):

The open mic goes from 8 to 10 they told me last week to show up about 7:45 to write my name on the list. when I got there last week at 7:45 there was about 8 names on the list. And by the end of the night 19 comedians had performed and I believe I was the only one to get bumped.

This week I showed up at 7:40 and there was already 22 names on the list! so I wrote my name down and thought wow there's no chance.

As you walk into the building there's about 10 guys standing outside, half of which are smoking (gross), that you have to walk past. 5 on either side of the ramp and I know none of these people so I just walk right by like some anti social dick as they eyeball me and measure me up.

So I go inside and have a seat in the comic section and wait for the white trash waitress lady ( last week's waitress was much better) to come serve me a beer so I can loosen up but she keeps passing me by and chatting with other tables. I'm chilling there alone playing on my phone being a good little antisocial introvert.

Then a few tables over I noticed the guy from last week who was MC so I think great I will go over and I say hi to him and just ask him if he thinks he can get me on this week. well some young lady ( this guy is an Indian guy about 50) is sitting there with him just talking his ear off and so I don't want to go over and interrupt then some big burly looking comedian guy walks up and stands there waiting to talk to him so I just kind of wait and keep my eye on him and everywhere he walks the amateur comedians are just kind of hounding him and I think okay he seems like a good guy to get in good with but I just can't wedge my way in to even talk to him. I even made eye contact with him a couple times but got no signal that he remembered me from last week.

So the lone waitress is now chatting with the table to my left and I keep my head up to look at her to get her attention and she looked right at me and keeps walking and then I'm staring at her so she finally stops and turns back like oh hello can I get you something? so I finally get a beer ordered. Shiner Bock is the best of their selection.

Moments later the MC from last week is over talking to a table next to me some women there with three other people and I think I might catch him but no he starts talking and walking with the lady. Basically at this point I'm feeling like a complete outsider I do not know anyone here or belong in this clique of smoking comedians who are all extroverted. I'm seriously about to just head back home because I feel like there is a 0% chance I go on stage. I see this asian guy walk in and grab the list and I recognized him from a few weeks ago as an MC and he goes in the office in the back and I see a couple comedians walk back there and go start chatting him up and I'm thinking yeah I guess that's how they are going to get on the list but I'm not going to go barge into someone's office I don't know and start weaseling my way onto a list that I should get on anyway.

More to come!

So at this point and basically as pessimistic as possible and I just tell myself would you shut up and stop being so negative and paranoid just sit here and wait and the list will be on the wall in a few minutes. I decided if I wasn't on the list I was just going to go home and not beg for airtime.

So a few minutes later the Asian man comes out of the office and tapes a list on the wall. people gather around it and I get up to go check it and as I'm looking towards the bottom I don't see my name anywhere then I move up towards the top and holy s*** that's me. my name is number 4 on the list, so it is randomised I guess. There are dashes behind all the names either a 7, a 5 or a 3. I presume that's how many minutes we get and I ask a comedian and he verifies. I have a 3 behind my name that's fine I am just glad to get on and at least if I bomb it will be over with soon.

More to come yay

So I get back to my chair and pull out my phone to look at my jokes and hurry up and decide which ones to skip since I have the order of 10 memorized. I scrapped the worst ones and made a list with six jokes on it. I pulled a small piece of paper out of my wallet and jotted 6 jokes on to it with a pencil. I decided I would set that on the stool on stage to make sure I didn't say one of the jokes I had cut.

As the comedians go up on stage I start paying attention to minutiae such as how do they pull the mic off the stand and other stuff that I just don't ever get to practice. A few guys go and they are funny. A first timer is up there some white dude who is very dry. he's not getting a lot of laughs but he's actually very funny it's just that his stories are a bit too long as setups. he keeps questioning the audience laughter level and saying he knows these are funny. a lot of comedians do that at the open mic because there just aren't a ton of people there maybe about 40 and not everybody is liquored up yet. I already told myself if I'm not getting laughs don't do the stupid thing where you go come on y'all let loose just do the jokes...you know they are funny. somebody out there will think it is funny whether they laugh or not. so perform for that one person. Calling out the audience for being too uptight just seems like a dumb battle.

I like your approach so far.

More!

I'm loving your trip report, ARC. I can't believe how brave you are. That sounds scary as ****! Looking forward to the rest of your report. You're a good writer btw.

Groan. I had posted a huge post earlier tonight and then when I tried to submit it the web page didn't work and it disappeared. Then I went to a Halloween party. I will try to finish it tonight.

So I have to go up there in a little bit and as I'm sitting in the crowd I'm looking around at the patrons. There usually seems to be about 35 or 40 people here and I already know over 20 are comedians so there aren't a lot of people who just roll in to watch comedy but there is a table front and center with four old people probably in their late 60s or even 70s. Not old but for an open mic, yeah.

There is another table over to the right side of the stage with like five Mexican dudes in their 30s wearing Rockets jerseys and drinking beers out of a couple buckets. They look like they are either there to have a good time or f*** with comedians lol. They look a little rowdy.

There is a table with 2 white dudes in their late twenties with glasses who look kind of smart and nerdy kind of like two plus two-ers, very quiet. I've seen them at every open mic. I don't know if they perform or they just show up to watch comedy but they seem like guys I would get along with. I will probably go say hi next time I'm there. If they are introverts like me who find it hard to come out of their shell maybe I can give them a little confidence.

There are some other people there but I really can't tell if they are just there with comedians or just people who rolled in, not that it matters a whole lot. These write ups are kind of cumbersome I'm doing them on my phone via voice command so its a lot of editing. Mind the grammar and punctuation.

Anyway the guy ahead of me is some black guy named kazan or something (I live in an ethnically diverse area) they told us to walk over and sit by the stage when we are on deck, so i do so. The guy behind me is another black guy so the pattern seem to be a mixing of races and genders. This makes sense as to why I might have got bumped up to fourth overall since my first and last name was on the list and a lot of people just wrote their first name and my name sounds very white so this Asian dude probably saw it and stuck me between these black guys.

Anyway im sitting on deck and I'm not exactly hyperventilating but my breathing is a little elevated as is my heart beat so I'm trying to relax and breathe and just chill. I nudge the MC on the shoulder and he asks if I am next and I say yes and also that I am a first timer if he wants to make mention of that. So he goes up on stage and mentions that I am a first timer and says my first and last name and people start clapping. I set my cheat sheet on the stool and remove the mic without knocking anything over.

I go into my first joke which is basically a deadpan one liner and I get a few laughs. Awesome. The first thing I notice is how incredibly bright the lights are shining on you. You really can't focus on people's faces in the crowd you just see kind of shiny orbs of tables. This is actually kind of a good thing in my opinion at least for my first time. It sort of just felt like me standing up giving a monologue which is a lot like my rehearsals anyway.

One problem that I noticed immediately was that during my first joke my head was kind of down looking at the floor and I immediately recognized that I was doing this and I thought in my head "wow you must look like some sort of unconfident idiot" so as I finished my first joke or got into my second or something I gradually forced my head up to where I was looking into the lights even if I couldn't really see anybody. I knew it would be better to at least make it look like I was engaging with the crowd and not staring at the floor.

Other minor problems that I noticed was that I was rocking side to side quite a bit. Also I didn't know what to do with the cord. I was holding on to it in my left hand then pulled up a bunch of slack but it felt like it must have looked weird. Finally my right arm which was holding the mic was fairly relaxed and the distance I was holding it from my mouth varied a couple inches and so every once in a while a word I would say would not really project to the audience. But the great thing about the mic was that it was f****** loud and as a quiet talker I could just talk normally and let the mic do all the work.

Other than those things, I had no problem remembering my jokes or my lines or my timing. But these things on stage that had to do with comfort were the sort of things I couldn't really prepare for and that I will get better at the more I do.

My entire set is basically dirty with crass humor delivered in a somewhat dry deadpan style I guess. So as I said my opener got some chuckles and it was nice to hear so I went into my second joke with a little bit of confidence and that one did quite well. I could hear laughter but I was trying not to become preoccupied with it so that I wouldn't lose track of my thoughts.

My third joke was quite dirty and the premise was my masturbation habits. The table of Mexicans to the right of the stage seem to be laughing at this one a lot so as I would deliver punchlines I would look towards their table. it felt nice to get feedback from them and I was kind of playing this one more in their direction. Even though I couldn't see their eyes I could see their heads so I was looking at their heads and I think they appreciated that as they kept giving me laughter on this joke for sure. They turned out to be a great table that were there to laugh.

It's funny I'm quite demur in person but once I had the stage (literally) and had control of the microphone I had no problem dropping f bombs or talking about my first time having sex or my masturbation habits and stuff. anyone who had seen me and cast some judgment on me might have been surprised by my set.

So my fourth joke was pretty good but I expected it to get more laughter. I think it will with more practice. But at this point I was pretty relaxed. I had two more jokes written on my cheat sheet. Not the entire jokes but just one word signifying which joke to do next. Somehow when I went to do my fifth of 6 jokes I skipped number 5 and went right for the final joke which ended up working out because right after I started telling it the guy in the back shined the red light.

The red light means finish your last joke and get off the stage. everybody gets the red light. and you have to signal the guy that you saw it so I gave him a little signal right as I was starting my final joke which happened to be my "closer". I was just glad that I saw him flash it because I am kind of a spacebrain and I heard if you ignore the light that is the quickest way to not get back on the list. So I was pretty concerned about noticing the light before I ever went up there.

Anyway my last joke went well and I got more laughter, as I did with each of the previous four. When I finished I can't remember what I said probably just thank you or that's it for me and I put the mic back in the stand and I heard some clapping. I grabbed my cheat sheet and turned around and the MC was walking up on stage and I shook his hand and said thanks man. And I walked off stage and heard him say my name and "first timer" in a somewhat positive tone and I got more clapping. This is pretty much the MO. You get a little bit of applause when you finish your set and then more when the MC comes up and says give it up again.

I quietly walked back to my seat and the comedian behind me nudged me and gave me a thumbs up and said good job man. About five minutes later the MC from last week who bumped me was a few tables over and he got my attention and said something but I could not hear him. I got up and walked over and he put his hand out and I shook it and he said I am glad you came back and that you got to go up there that was good. He apologized again for last week and I said no problem man.

I then went back to my seat. Actually my table was taken now by a couple who had walked in so I had to switch tables lol. I stuck around for about 40 more minutes and left at 9 o'clock.

The funny thing is next time I go there people will probably come up to me and say hi because they've seen me on stage. All the other open mic'ers I feel like I kind of know because I've seen them perform so maybe people will say hi to me. We'll see.

I'm trying to put together a new set of stuff for next week. I have like 100 jokes or premises or bits basically ready to do. The hard thing is figuring out what three or five minutes I want to put together.

They say come up with five minutes of stuff and do it over and over but I have so much s*** it's ridiculous. I've been writing stuff down for about 5 years now. I'd rather do fresh stuff every week as I think that would be more exciting.

Anyway it is quite fun to be 36 years old and frightened to do something like this and just challenge myself to go do it and then to succeed. It really makes you feel alive and I have to admit hearing strangers laugh at stuff I have come up with in my head is quite a thrill.

I know me talking about this has kind of taken over this thread and been very attention whore-y but I hope that it maybe encourages somebody - especially a severe introvert - to go out and do something that you really want to do regardless of what might go wrong. Sink or swim - who gives a f***. Just live.

I'd be lying if I said my ultimate goal wasn't to make money doing this but I know that seems incredibly far fetched and I think the industry is probably pretty terrible and depressing but at the very least I feel like I could go do five minutes of open mic at a random club and get some sense of enjoyment out of it and making people laugh is very important in my opinion.

Very nice...sounds like you killed it.

Solid TR. Congrats.

I would start with ones that have worked before, then mix in some new and some you've tinkered with. Then your closer.

If you like podcasts, check out "Kill Tony". It's beginners getting on stage and doing 1 minute, then getting critiqued by the guest hosts. (professional comics)

People probably don't realize how many little things go into standup. Things you mentioned like how you hold the mike, the lights, where you focus your eyes. Seems like a ton of stuff that at first you have to concentrate on. I'm sure it's all second nature after doing it for a while but I imagine it's pretty stressful thinking about all that stuff on top of trying to deliver lines.

Yeah, i had heard some time before about how bright it is so i kind of expected it. I also was debating whether or not to wear my glasses. I look better without them but i kept them on as a comfort thing.

A lot of these people are the artsy types (duh) and dress in loud fashion. I wore dark dress shoes, conservative jeans, and a plain long sleeve blue tee. I normally dress quiet like this but i especially wanted them to focus on the jokes and not what im wearing. A decent percentage of people dress kind of slobby. Its like, you are going on stage, put a little thought into what you wear.

Very nice TR, A-Rod. Way to go!

A few thoughts:

Most professional comedians I met are actually introverted, quiet, and not very funny in real life. They are "on" for the show, but they quickly turn "off" once they get off stage. In fact, I think "funny" and "extroverted" comedian is an oxymoron.

As an aside, there is a very high rate of suicide in the profession, but that's a whole other point of topics.

Smokers aren't bad people. I used to smoke and now vape. Sorry if they bother you, but please note that most cities in America allow you to smoke indoors, so you'll kind of have to learn to tolerate people and smokey bars if you want to go on the circuit.

Not sure if you "follow" comedians, but you may want to take a page from Louis CK and George Carlin. They both throw out all of their material and start from scratch each year (I can't find the interview where Loius CK describes this process, but possibly Howard Stern?). Most comedians I'm aware of that are successful constantly write new material (or have their writers create more, whatever the case). Nothing is more irritating than seeing a comedian who does the same thing for 10 years on end. Yeah, they tour the country, but you seldom see these guys on TV (I want to punch the TV when I do). Jake Johannsen is a stellar example of a comedian who can do an entirely different set each night for a month.

I'm glad to see you stuck around and didn't break for the doors right after your set. I see this all too often and it really bothers me. It is so disrespectful to the other performers.

Nice TR. Sounds to me like it went about as well as possible. You have a lot to hang your hat on and a good story to tell.

I told somebody I did a minute at an open mic once and they looked like I told them I was big bird. You're story is already enough to awe the average person. Nice TR

btw, I came in here to say that I'm old and recently talked myself out of getting laid because I didn't know "Netflix and Chill" meant "sex at my place." I carried on and on about how I didn't have netflix or an internet connection, but we could watch dvd's and chill... Talk about icing down a hotty

Sounds like you should get back up on stage that is a funny premise right there.

There are certainly funny extraverts. I have met plenty. But I do expect that at some of the higher levels introverts are represented at a much higher percentage than they are in the general population. You have to be somewhat reflective to think of a lot of this stuff.

I think this is more about the type of people that go into comedy. similarly into art and writing and other types of Arts. Sane people don't go into comedy then kill themselves because they are in comedy. I read years ago that creative writers are the craziest of the creative types.

I'm fully aware. I grew up in a house with both parents being chain smokers.. I never smoked and always found it disgusting. In fact my now wife said she almost broke up with me because when we first started dating she thought I was a heavy smoker because all my clothes stunk and I had no idea why because I couldn't even smell them.

I have chronic rhinitis and asthma. My point was only that all those guys were standing outside chatting and smoking so it's not a very welcome environment to meet people especially when you are already shy. Cigarette smoke is disgusting. I'm not going to breathe that stuff in unless I have to. My point was not that smokers are bad people.

I Am Comic is where CK mentions that. That is a really good documentary and the entire thing is on YouTube I watched it again the other night.

Yeah I like to watch the other performers. I love laughing. But I did notice some people just left right after their set even the dude who went a couple spots before me. So he was literally only there for about 15 minutes. It would be funner if everyone hung around until the end and then got to chat once the nerves were gone.

But some of us have kids at home and stuff which does make it tougher. I'm lucky that this club is about 5 minutes from my house. A lot of people probably drive a decent distance to get here.

Awesome TR AROD.

Since this was a one-off joke that I won't ever do again, I'll post it. This was my second joke, which followed a short opener. I wrote it just a few days after deciding to try this, a few weeks ago.

Context: Comedians get 3 minutes before they shine a red light which tells you to "get off the stage". And everybody seems to mention when it's their first time but they never go anywhere with it, they just mention it. So I decided to do something with it.

"...No, this is my first time doing stand up, though. They say you'll always remember your first time. I hope this goes better than my first time having sex, which also lasted 3 minutes and ended when she flashed a red light at me and told me to get off the vage. I hope I get more laughs tonight, and I also hope that you are left wanting more."

The way I use vage to rhyme with stage when it stands for vagina is a bit clunky and kind of cheesy but whatever. I think it got the point across. And I'm not doing it again anyway so I wasn't overly concerned with how silly it might sound.