**** what a trip. Only been a month but feels like a ****ing life time since I ran into this bird and left Brisbane.
So it's approaching 9 a.m. and I'm waiting outside of the Down Unda' bar looking out for this girl I've never met before. I had it all planned out.I'd spot her from across the room, tip my head at her knowingly, share a warm embrace, and chase it up with a few icy cold beers. I'd talk. She would laugh. I'd brush a stray strand of hair behind her ears and slowly lean in for a deep and passionate kiss that would permanently cement myself in her heart and her vagina for the next 20 odd days she was in Australia.
ez game.
Well ****ing Queensland liquor licensing. No beer before ten a.m.. Bar isn't even ****ing open. I knew this was gonna be an issue. Instead of some sweet princess strolling in innocently with a lost expression, I see this well dressed train wreck coming at me packing luggage.
her- "Sam?"
me- "yup."
Akwardness ensues.
Well ****, not going how I planned. Even worse there is a glaring mark on her lower lip...... ****ing cold sores...AKA herpes. AAAAHHHHH it all makes sense. I score a hottie (for me, **** your own standards) but I have to get herpes if I want to hit it.
****!!!
I already dodged herpes with my ex (she got it somehow LOL BITCH!!!) and now I'm faced with the prospect of never getting laid or getting an unsightly virus that will follow me around the rest of my life...
Well, that's a problem for later but at this point my penis is really telling me to say **** it and just go for it anyways.
So we go and have a smoke, which is **** as **** for me since I quit smoking a couple months ago (lol relapses). She's a ****ing wreck. Drunk as ****, must have been hitting some good pharmaceuticals.... in other words I love my chances of getting laid at this point.
We engage in light chatter while drinking at the casino and I try to amp up the sexual tension by doing **** like...footsie or gently touching her shoulder. ****, this girl has just flown over the ****ing pacific ocean to see me, basically told me she wanted to **** me, and I'm still shy about making a move. She smashes her beer then takes a swig of mine. I tactifully tell her to finish it, not because her cold sore touched the glass but because...ummm..yeah **** I don't want to ****ing get herpes god dammit!
Next bar and a few drinks later and it looks like my charm is working it's magic. I know she's ****ed up, but I can tell she's falling in love. She jams a couple hydrocodones down my throat and follows it up with a big kiss..... with her cold sore mouth..
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU **** **** **** **** **** ****
I love kissing. I've got big, fat, lucious lips that were made for face****ing. BUT DAMMIT I DON'T WANT ****ING HERPES.
So the passionte embrace turns into an akward peck and me withdrawing.At this point both of us are pretty ****faced and it's time for churros and heading back to the hotel room I had booked out.....
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUC* sorry guys I lost a **** load of money tonight and I'm really drunk I'll post more updates later gl hf bbq etc.....
hottest thing I've had intercourse with in a long long long (x73) time
the reason I can't keep writing tonight (for my non FB friends). Chasing this with a bunch of clonazepam she left me. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
Two Plus Two
Linear Mode
