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-   -   ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2 (https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/62/bbv4life/official-ask-ladies-4life-any-sort-weird-stupid-disgusting-question-pt-2-a-513179/)

phil0pp 08-15-2010 09:18 AM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
Can I hit in the morning
without givin you half of my dough
And even worse if I was broke would you want me?
If I couldn't get you finer things
like all of them diamond rings bitches kill for
would you still roll?
If we couldn't see the sun risin off the shore of thailand
would you ride then, if I wasn't drivin?
If I wasn't ah, eight figure ***** by the name of jigga
would you come around me or would you clown me?
If I couldn't flow futuristic would ya
put your two lips on my wood and kiss it - could ya
see yourself with a ***** workin harder than 9 to 5
contend with six, two jobs to survive, or
do you need a balla So you can shop and tear the mall up?
Brag, tell your friends what i bought ya
If you couldn't see yourself with a ***** when his dough is low
Baby girl, if this is so, yo..

adizzle13 08-15-2010 09:36 AM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkOne (Post 20915310)
I had a 2nd date with a girl last night, we had dinner and then went to see a movie. We got to the movie a little early so we had to wait outside of the theater. She said she had to go to the restroom and she went, I got up and went to the bathroom too. When I get out she was waiting there with a sheepish look on her face, and says "I'm really sorry but I have to go, can you take me home?" I said yes and then asked her if everything was ok and she said yes. On the way home she was really fidgety and I asked her if she was sure everything was ok and she said yes, she clearly did not want to talk about it. When we got to her place she apologized again and we had a nice long kiss, so she wasn't mad at me or anything. wtf?

http://i33.tinypic.com/15fnj93.jpg

Kristy 08-15-2010 01:32 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Snoopydance (Post 20916010)
Maybe she started her period and didn't have a tampon or maybe she had some bad stomach issues going on?

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsBlueberry (Post 20916154)
Period. Period.

Spoiler:
.

Quote:

Originally Posted by emmemere (Post 20927665)
this.

.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkOne (Post 20917410)
Makes sense but don't women know when it's coming and aren't they prepared for it? I think if she had stomach issues she would have just told me

Most women aren't that regular, they just know roughly what time of the month it is coming.

Tartufo 08-15-2010 01:38 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristy (Post 20931336)
.



Most women aren't that regular, they just know roughly what time of the month it is coming.

many of them don't even understand how calendars work

Kristy 08-15-2010 01:50 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tartufo (Post 20931432)
many of them don't even understand how calendars work

We do too! That's ridiculous! :mad:

You choose them according to the beauty of the pictures and they make a bold decorative statement on the kitchen wall. House then equals :heart:Home:heart:

Gizmo 08-15-2010 03:03 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
I like the ones with baby animals!

Tartufo 08-15-2010 03:05 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Snoopydance (Post 20933015)
I like the ones with baby animals!

that goes a bit too far even for me

Kristy 08-15-2010 03:10 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
'cause the older bigger ones can't go much farther than the rectum amirite?

JustCuz 08-15-2010 07:27 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Tartufo (Post 20707056)
I didn't want to respond to this until I was done with my tournaments.. Sorry for taking so long, I'm at my Mom's (6/10 imo; sorry but no pics) and she doesn't have internet access. But here it is:



Sometime in late November/early December, I was talking to this girl that I went to high school with. I don't want to post her name, so I'll call her Erica, after the BustedTees redhead, ldo. I've known Erica since we were in the sixth grade, and I've always kind of had a crush on her. You know how in middle school you walk around with a boner 24/7? Well, Erica is the kind of girl who thought that was extremely funny at the time. Any girl who can laugh at a sea of 13yo boys' poorly concealed erections is someone who can cause same in me.

I think she's insanely hot, but others may disagree. I'm not going to post any pics. But I've never known anyone who didn't think she was at least mildly hot. She's about 5'5", half Philipino/half white Redneck, has really nice skin, black hair, and a beautiful face. She also has two small to average size boobs, of which I am a fan. She's pretty thin, but not unhealthily so or anything.

Anyway, I was talking to Erica on Facebook around the end of November, and the fact that I was a virgin came up. I thought she already knew that, but she seemed surprised. I've never hidden or been embarrased about my virginity, but I didn't proclaim it to the heavens, either. Anyway, here's a paraphrase of the conversation:

Her: Wait, really?
Me: Yep.
Her: Why?
Me: It just hasn't happened yet. I dunno. I've been thinking about getting a hooker just to get it out of the way.
Her: No, don't do that.
Me: Why not?
Her: No one should have their first time with a hooker.
Me: But I want a practice run before I screw up with someone I actually care about.
Her: That makes sense, I guess. And it's actually kind of sweet. But don't get a hooker.
Me: What do you suggest, then?
Her: Well, I could do it if you wanted.

I thought she was joking, obviously. But she was serious. She really didn't like the idea of me losing my virginity to a hooker I found on the internet, and seemed to think it was cute that I was nervous. And she confided that she had lost her virginity at 16 as a high school sophpmore amd had had sex with about 10-12 guys since. Standard? I don't actually know. But we agreed to meet over Christmas break when we're both in town, since she goes to a different college in a different town. So Saturday, December 22nd was set as the date, and her house was set as the place.

Forward to last Saturday, the big day. I was closing the UPS Store where I work at four and going to Erica's to do the deed. A pickup pulled up about 3:55 with a bedfull of crap that I knew he'd want to ship, and I decided that I could close a few minutes early. He came in and said "Are you still open?" I said "No." He said "But it's not 4pm yet? You got a hot date or something?" And I didnt' say anything, but apparently something in my face betrayed that he had hit the nail on the head. And then he looked at me and said "Oh I see. I'll go to the Richmond Road store and get out of your way. Have fun." Next time that guy comes in, he's getting a free shipment. Bless him

So I closed up shop in record time and headed for Erica's house. I pulled up about 4:40 (we had agreed on 5:00) and knocked on the door. And then, to my horror, her Redneck father opened the door. While I was standing there slackjawed, he said "Oh Mayo, Erica said you'd be coming" and welcomed me in. It turned out that he was supposed to be out hunting, but had to cancel for some reason and so was still at home. I thought that was the end of that, but then Erica said "Dad, could we have some privacy?" Then Her dad gave me an angry are-you-gonna-have-sex-with-my-little-girl? look. I studied the laces on my shoe, and then something amazing happened. He said "OK. I think I'll go to a movie" and he left. I have no idea what happened there. He just. ****ing. Left. I don't know if he decided that he didn't mind me having sex with his daughter (!), or if he decided that she'd never screw anything with as much hair as I have (more likely), or if he was thrown by the audacity of the question, or what. But he left, and I didn't ask any questions.

So her dad left, and it was time for a survey. She'd ask about my sexual experiences, and I'd reveal that I hadn't had any. She seemed shocked that I'd never kissed a girl, felt a girl up, or even seen a woman naked in real life. (Beats, obv). So she decided that that's where we'd start. She kissed me, and I just kind of sat there and absorbed it, and she didn't let go. She just kept kissing me until I kissed back. That was pretty cool. Then we did it again, "to improve your form" as she put it. I liked that.

So after a few minutes of kissing, she told me it was time to feel her up. We were sitting on her couch, and she turned toward me and stuck her chest out right in front of her and said "Go ahead." I was pretty much stupefied, and so I kind of reached out with one hand and tapped the palm of my right hand onto the top of her right boob and pulled it straight back as soon as I made contact. If you've ever had to check the power of an electric fence on a farm, you know the motion I'm talking about. But Erica thought that was hilarious. She said "What, are my boobs on fire?" and started guffawing. She made me do the electric-fence-boob-test a few more times, just because she thought ut was funny. Then she said something that no woman had ever said to me: "That's enough. I'm going to take my shirt off and I want you to really grab my boobs."

So she sat back and took off her TShirt. And bra. And then, naturally, I saw her boobs. And I liked them. She let me go to town on them for a minute or two, and then she decided that it was time for the main event. She stood up, grabbed her shirt and bra and went into her bedroom. I had never been as excited as I was at that moment. I followed her to her room, and made it into the room just in time to see her taking her panties off. And I thought to myself "There's a naked woman over there. Go take care of business, tiger!" Then I almost came in my pants. I took my clothes off, and she laughed at me as I had trouble getting the condom on. (I guess my penis is just too big or something.) And then it was time.

She insisted that she should be on top. She told me to lay on the bed and let her do the work, so I did. The sensation was pretty weird. The thing that struck me the most was taht it was a lot warmer than I had expected. It was nice. I was a little too nervous to really enjoy it, not that there was much to enjoy. I lasted maybe 90 seconds. Oh well. It was a good 90 seconds. When I had finished, she laid down next to me and we chatted for a minute. That's a weird feeling: talking to a girl, while you're both lying there naked. Does that ever get any less awkward? In the course of the conversation, she asked if I had another run in me (her phrase). I said that I would after a little recharge time. So I put my clothes back on, she put on sweatpants and a sweatshirt, and we went out and sat back on the couch. After a few awkward seconds, she asked "You like Scrubs, don't you?" Now I don't like Scrubs at all, but figured it would be impolite to say so. And then she said the words that every man wants to hear: "We'll watch an episode, then see how you're doing, and then I'll give you a blowjob."

Well that got my attention. Surprisingly, I found it hard to focus on the TV show. I was just counting down the minutes. About halfway into the show, I felt like I was ready to go again. But I couldn't think of a tactful way of saying "Turn off the TV and come suck my dick" so I kept my mouth shut. And then, disaster.

Her dad was back. He came in, and I think he pretty much figured out what had happened, since Erica was wearing different clothes and her hair was all messed up. He didn't seem pleased. So I hightailed it out of there, and as I was leaving, Erica said "I guess you'll have to take a raincheck." And as I was closing the door, I heard her dad say "A raincheck on what?" And I got in my car, thinking "I've got a blowjob raincheck. Life is good."

I haven't cashed the raincheck yet, but I will soon. TR to follow.



Cliff's Notes: I'm 21, and was a virgin until Saturday. That's when a hot (imo) girl I went to high school with took pity on me and let me have sex with her. I didn't embarrass myself, miraculously. And I got a blowjob raincheck.



[x] tl;dr
[x] came

11beatsperminute 08-15-2010 08:51 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
Did you ever make out / have sex with someone you don't actually feel attracted to in a dream?

Kristy 08-15-2010 08:55 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
not once

MsBlueberry 08-15-2010 08:55 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
Usually if it's in my dream it's sexy and therefore I'm attracted to the guy. I guess I've had dreams where I started out attracted and then it turned into another person or something. It loses the appeal then though. That's rare (barely ever).

If it's a hot dream I'm attracted.

11beatsperminute 08-15-2010 08:57 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MsBlueberry (Post 20941018)
Usually if it's in my dream it's sexy and therefore I'm attracted to the guy. I guess I've had dreams where I started out attracted and then it turned into another person or something.

What, the guy morphed into someone else during the sex:eek:?

Kristy 08-15-2010 08:59 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
or "Something" else..which is way more interesting.

Horse-pron morph dreams itt?

11beatsperminute 08-15-2010 09:00 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristy (Post 20941101)
or "Something" else..which is way more interesting.

Horse-pron morph dreams itt?

:popcorn:

Gizmo 08-15-2010 09:11 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by 11beatsperminute (Post 20940917)
Did you ever make out / have sex with someone you don't actually feel attracted to in a dream?

Usually my sex dreams involve women tbh. And they're quite often attractive in the playboy bunny kinda way. :shrug:

11beatsperminute 08-15-2010 09:14 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Snoopydance (Post 20941370)
Usually my sex dreams involve women tbh. And they're quite often attractive in the playboy bunny kinda way. :shrug:

Do I understand you correctly that playboy bunnies aren't even your favorite type of women?

Gizmo 08-15-2010 09:17 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
I can generally find a lot of women attractive

nham 08-15-2010 09:17 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
grunch any single ladies in here?

The Brickie 08-15-2010 09:22 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MsBlueberry (Post 20941018)
I guess I've had dreams where I started out attracted and then it turned into another person or something.

lol you're weird

MsBlueberry 08-15-2010 09:29 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by 11beatsperminute (Post 20941057)
What, the guy morphed into someone else during the sex:eek:?

No, not like changing in front of my eyes, but like the next time you look at him it's a different person or the dream takes a turn.

If it's a sexy dream that's at all arousing then it's only going to be a guy and/or a situation that I find hot obv.

11beatsperminute 08-15-2010 09:31 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MsBlueberry (Post 20941803)
No, not like changing in front of my eyes, but like the next time you look at him it's a different person or the dream takes a turn.

If it's a sexy dream that's at all arousing then it's only going to be a guy and/or a situation that I find hot obv.

So you're into gangbangs huh:p?!

ForestFairy 08-15-2010 09:33 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MsBlueberry (Post 20768991)
In general, if a person from the UK or an Aussie says it, it's going to be more funny or silly than sexy. Their slang for the female body is less than arousing. "Shirt potatoes & meat curtains" does not add to the heat of the moment!

Mildly offended.errrrr I have NEVER used any of those words and I= British......and couldn't even guess at the first.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkOne (Post 20917410)
Makes sense but don't women know when it's coming and aren't they prepared for it? I think if she had stomach issues she would have just told me

not always.... if we're lucky we get an hour's warning... cramps :o

allinontheturn 08-15-2010 09:46 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
Pics?

ForestFairy 08-15-2010 11:19 PM

Re: ***OFFICIAL*** Ask the ladies of 4life any sort of weird/stupid/disgusting question...Pt. 2
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by allinontheturn (Post 20942196)
Pics?

? of? me? no.


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