Henry please be advised that you are currently not in oot.

Henry made some valid points, particularly the one about building the mood at the end there.

very good advice. Her social scene is nonexistent. She does work but with people twice her age, so not much there. She had a few friends but they all moved away for college out of state. I dont know how to get her to be social or make new friends. So it's just us and my best friend with his family. We havent had a real night out in a while moslty because of me. It wont be happening soon though. Maybe it will. It depends on her mood. Her mom is getting ready to have a double masectomy. So that is the focus right now for sure. But I like the advice. I have lost focus on what could be important to her or what would make her feel good. I haven't gotten her flowers in a long time so Im ordering flowers for her job now. I should def. try to make it a regular thing like every couple of months or so. I offered the spa before but she said no. I think Ill just buy it anyway. any thoughts on changing her social environment?

Yeah me too.


I agree with this. She can't just wait for this to go away on its own, and the longer she does the more intractable it gets. Marriage and kids and jobs and routines lend themselves to people getting a bit sloppy about their relationships, and you don't realize how miserable you are until you forget how to feel alive again.

The best thing I could suggest to maybe inspire her to grab the reins more would be to try to hook her up with a hip mommy-group, so she could see what other women are doing to keep themselves happy and inspired.

Have you guys thought about doing something like rock climbing or bike riding? Roller coasters? Haunted houses? Anything to get outside, get out of her own head, and get some adrenaline pumping.


It depends on how she said it. If it came at the end of a conversation and was said as more of a challenge or out of exasperation -- "look, if you want me to wear a thong than go out and buy one" -- then it wasn't really an invitation or instruction, which would have sounded more like "baby, why don't you go out and pick something you like?" Given her non-reaction, I would be inclined to think it went the first way.


Well she must do all, or nearly all, the work at home, because otherwise there would be nothing more for you to resolve to do. For what it's worth I haven't formed an impression of what your ordinary interactions are like.

Also on the point of her telling you she appreciates you, she could be trying to get you to do more by reinforcing positive behaviour. She could also be demonstrating her appreciation in the hopes that you'll mimic it and tell her what you appreciate about her. Or both. Either way, she's trying to communicate something to you, and that's a good start.

This is the single worst piece of advice on women I have ever heard, worded in such a way that I actually believe that you are conveying some of your true feeling.

A+ trolling

plaster posters of sexy women everywhere. It will help remind her of what women are supposed to look like.

Making the OP responsible for her sense of self is pretty unreasonable. Tell her how you feel, prepared for the invariable argument and then turn down sex or overtures whenever she's not dressed in a way that YOU feel is attractive. (promise, you won't have to do that for long)

You have rights to be happy too.

wow you're not shallow at all ...sick life bro

no wai

FYP

Responsible for and responsible with are different expectations.


EDIT: I mean, it seems inconsistent to say he can't be expected to be responsible for her sense of self (I agree), then advise him to exploit whatever influence he does hold by withholding sex until she comes to the bedroom in an outfit to his liking. He should train her like a pet, but if his actions have negative outcomes for him then it's all back on her to resolve it.

I think you have a bigger pussy than she does...

It would be so awesome if that made sense.

Do you like it when she penetrates you with an dildo and shows the video to her friends while you make a polenta for them?

If you only wear a tuxedo at all times (particularly at the times when it is most inconvenient to do so - such as in the shower or when having sex), you will indicate how important dress is to you, and your relationship should flourish in a new era of sexiness.

Also, if you start spending the majority of the family budget on silk pocket squares, soon she will be desperate to treat herself to something special in terms of fashion, and as the only thing of comparable to silk pocket squares in terms of price and size in women's fashion are skimpy clothes, all your dreams should come true.

I'm pretty sure Poker Reference is female.

Im in tears right now best 5 min ever to skim this thread.

TL;DR

My guess is she doesn't think your version of sexy time is worth dressing up for or making herself presentable for.

Henry17 is such a legend

While Snoopy, without a doubt, is physically the most attractive girl around here I have to say that Kristy is close to being the nuts overall.

Congrats GW

The mommy group is something that i could encourage but she'll probably fire back with what are you up to. I dont want that. As far as doing something to get the adrenaline flowing. I was thinking about go down to the keys and do some kayaking. It would get the blood flowing plus we could be alone and talk more and that would be nice. Now that I think about it she did tell me in a smart assish tone to go buy the thongs myself. So prob not a good idea. She does do about 90% of the housework. Im def. going to contribute more. It's only fair. Im glad how this thread is turning out. I almost (almost) dont even care about the sexy attire. I think reconnecting with her on a deeper level is something that was missing the most. I would like that more than anything. And who knows maybe she'll come around.

Btw I sent her flowers to her job today. She called me blushing. Which further instills the fact that these things do work. I have to keep it up. And Im not talking about buying her **** because that is shallow. But like what we're discussing. Appreciation, care, effort in general. Not to say that i showed I didnt care before but I could show more. by doing little things.

A lot of douchebags have shown up in the thread with there leave a bitch if she gains 5 pounds. You'll never have a meaningfull relationship or know what it's like to really connect with someone. Now I sound like a pussy but who cares. Thanks for the input and i would like to hear more ideas.

i tried the "im not going to **** until i get what i want". eventually i didnt care and just wanted to ****. so it doesnt work so well for me. I could help with her sense of pretty. Who else is going to do it? It better not be anyone else. But im not completely responsible for it.

I should have read the posts I've tried to troll. I have to admit, I kind of trolled my self.

This makes me think about my future of trolling ... but naaaaah!

Im sick of you people calling me mean things Im just trying to help the guy ffs

you cant help with her "sense of pretty", honestly. whatever you tell her to make her feel better, it's only going to work temporarily. no matter how often you tell her how pretty she is, what you like about her body etc., she's only going to want more and more, all the way until you bore her with your compliments and she goes on the internet to fish for guys who find her hot there. not long after she's going to meet a cute guy in world of warcraft, fall in love with him, and then breaks up with you with no warning whatsoever, blaming you that you made her feel like you didn't love her enough even though you've been her bitch all the ****ing time. you'll then proceed to cry your eyes out for 2 months straight like a little pussy and suddenly "realize" that it was TOTALLY WRONG of you to ask her to wear sexy things and that you shouldn't have degraded her like that. you then swear to yourself that you're going to change and be a better man until you realize WHAT A ****ING BITCH SHE WAS. and it won't make you angry at all when you SEE HER NEW FACEBOOK PIC WITH HER NEW BOYFRIEND ommgggg gotta get out of this thread i'm on lifetilt.